CaptLex
04-08-2006, 10:39 AM
I wanted to share my recent, eventful blog entry with the class here, but instead of rewording the whole thing I'm doing the lazy thing and just copying it. I hope you find it worthwhile reading:
I Want a New Drug
Huey Lewis sang:
I want a new drug
One that won't go away
One that won't keep me up all night
One that won't make me sleep all day
One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
Me too . . . I want a new drug . . . namely, testosterone, and I broke the news to my shrink this week. He checked into the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care and promptly informed me that the hours I've put in on the couch combined with my time spent in "real life experience" qualify me to begin whenever the medical doctor approves it.
I feel good about this decision. It's not rash nor impulsive. I've done the research and the soul searching. I know the risks and the permanent effects. And now I'm ready for the consequences - positive or negative. I've stood at the fork in this road long enough to be sure that I'm taking the path I feel sure about, and now it's time to take that first step. It took me a while to jump over the last hurdle - the confusion about my androgyny - but I needed to be really, really sure . . . and now I am.
*Sigh of relief*
This decision led to another move. I decided it was the right time to come out to a few friends and co-workers. These people mean a lot to me and I needed to know if I mean as much to them. I was very nervous and I rehearsed my declaration, definitions and answers to possible questions well before I approached each of them, took a deep breath and plunged into the icy waters of their ignorance of my situation.
Well, it's true that they were completely unaware of my struggle (and generally uninformed as to transgender issues), but I am happy to report that they all amazed me with their support, empathy, understanding and optimism for my future. I'm still speechless. I hoped they would take it well, but frankly I never expected so much love. In fact, they forced me to engage in some very unpirate-like behavior: the Captain got a lot of hugs that day.
*Bigger sigh of relief*
So, the map is laid out, the course is set and the sails unfurled. I hope for fair winds, but with my crew aboard, armed and ready for action, I'm prepared for a bad squall or a good fight.
Going up to the crow's nest,
Lexi the Pirate
I Want a New Drug
Huey Lewis sang:
I want a new drug
One that won't go away
One that won't keep me up all night
One that won't make me sleep all day
One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
Me too . . . I want a new drug . . . namely, testosterone, and I broke the news to my shrink this week. He checked into the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care and promptly informed me that the hours I've put in on the couch combined with my time spent in "real life experience" qualify me to begin whenever the medical doctor approves it.
I feel good about this decision. It's not rash nor impulsive. I've done the research and the soul searching. I know the risks and the permanent effects. And now I'm ready for the consequences - positive or negative. I've stood at the fork in this road long enough to be sure that I'm taking the path I feel sure about, and now it's time to take that first step. It took me a while to jump over the last hurdle - the confusion about my androgyny - but I needed to be really, really sure . . . and now I am.
*Sigh of relief*
This decision led to another move. I decided it was the right time to come out to a few friends and co-workers. These people mean a lot to me and I needed to know if I mean as much to them. I was very nervous and I rehearsed my declaration, definitions and answers to possible questions well before I approached each of them, took a deep breath and plunged into the icy waters of their ignorance of my situation.
Well, it's true that they were completely unaware of my struggle (and generally uninformed as to transgender issues), but I am happy to report that they all amazed me with their support, empathy, understanding and optimism for my future. I'm still speechless. I hoped they would take it well, but frankly I never expected so much love. In fact, they forced me to engage in some very unpirate-like behavior: the Captain got a lot of hugs that day.
*Bigger sigh of relief*
So, the map is laid out, the course is set and the sails unfurled. I hope for fair winds, but with my crew aboard, armed and ready for action, I'm prepared for a bad squall or a good fight.
Going up to the crow's nest,
Lexi the Pirate