I hope my ears recover

[Sandi Beech]

Well I have been super busy with outings again this week with 3 clubbing outings - so far. Tonight was a humdinger. I have never heard so many women scream so loudly at a drag show. It was so loud I pulled out an app on my phone and it was registering 116 decibels. My ears are still ringing. I think I will bring earplugs next time. Actually, the performers were quite good even if you are not into that sort of thing.

Lots of young people were there and I had not talked to that many people until a young woman came up to talk to me. I will not try to repeat what all she said, but let?s say it goes to my head when a pretty girl is so supportive. Every time I ask myself why I am doing this dressing, someone like this woman just makes me crazy with all the flattery.


Does it have the same effect on you when flattered?


Sandi

[mbmeen12]

I have not made it to a club yet (drag show) but dying too.

Does it have the same effect on you when flattered? Absolutely, it builds so much confidence from my GG's compliments. Now to the layman with my frame Im sure I come off amazon like but hey I enjoy it. I am what I am....

[Kris Burton]

A very interesting question for me Sandi - I think I understand and can relate. It's almost like I am of two minds. As my male self, I am pretty much a loner (not lonely, a big difference). I find flattery kind of embarrassing, I'm polite but I choose to avoid it when I can. I abhor even seeing pictures of myself, and I avoid them diligently. When I take on my Kris persona, just the opposite is true; it's quite a high. Now, I haven't yet been out publicly, much less to a club, but I have taken some photos, and when I find folks like them it is a wonderful feeling, I want to do better, take more, hone my presentation, have folks enjoy them again and again. It's a part of the overall experience of CDing for me, and keeps me coming back for more.

I'm certain a therapist would find this interesting, but I have no need for that now, and fully understanding is not important to me. I just know I haven't felt this good mentally in years.

[Helen_Highwater]

Sandi,

I think any positive interaction with someone from outside our community makes us feel good. Having that acceptance, being acknowledged as the person you are, validates why we're out there in the world.

Wondering around the shops is one thing but then sharing a conversation with a muggle is something to be treasured especially if the conversation was initiated by them.

[alwayshave]

Sandi, Who would not love some flattery from a young women. I love talking to women when dressed. In male mode, I tend not to talk to women.

[Krisi]

I had the chance to attend a drag show once but missed it. Now the place is out of business.

The thought occurs to me that if women come up to you and talk to you about your crossdressing, it means you are not passing as a woman. I would prefer to be seen as a woman.

[BTWimRobin]

I remember going to an ELP concert back in the 1980's. Sat in the 13th row at Madison Square Garden. My ears are still ringing.

I absolutely love getting compliments from open minded GG's. It's a real confidence booster.

[kimdl93]

I have had many great experiences in similar venues. Perhaps that explains part of my hearing loss too!

[StacyG]

I'm a lot like Kris. I posted pictures here and y'all told me I had great legs and it went to my head. I saw ELP in the 80's in Dallas, they didn't hurt my ears as much as Metallica, or my 25 ton punch press and working on lawnmowers.
The House of Blues here in Dallas has a drag show several once or twice a month and some of the GG's I know love going. I've been too afraid to, even a a male. I have a GG i share pictures with and she tells me I look great, but my insecurity tells me she's just being nice.

[Ceera]

The first venue I went to publicly while cross dressed, back in 2014, was an LGBTQ nightclub, on their Saturday drag show nights. I figured, and I was right, that anyone at a club that was hosting a drag show that night should be cool with one more ‘man dressed as a woman’, in the audience. It was a great first experience for being out and being seen. The drag performers were gracious and welcoming, and the patrons all treated me well. As it happened, there were five or more other CD/Transgender regulars there, who also usually showed up on drag show nights.

I transitioned to full time female in 2018. And I pass pretty well now for a cisgender woman. As far as women complementing me goes, it depends a lot on how they say it.

If they clearly had no trouble spotting that I am transgender, I feel a bit disappointed that my presentation was lacking. But at the same time, sincere complements, such as, “You have nicer legs than I have!”, are pretty uplifting anyway. On the other hand, a backhanded complement like, “You wear that dress pretty well, for a guy,” can feel downright insulting.

But cisgender women complement each other a lot. Comments like, “Oh! I love your shoes! Where did you get them?”, or, “Your nails look really great!”, or, “I gotta say, that outfit looks great on you!” Are often quite sincere, and by no means an indication that they clocked you. I love interactions like that. They feel like a strong validation of my femininity.

[docrobbysherry]

Continued exposure to venues with 100+ decibels has been proven to permanently damage your hearing!:doh:

Since my 20's I've been using paper napkins to bear uncomfortably loud bars and clubs!:thumbsup:

The first thing I do on hearing oppressive noise is head for the bar and grab a cocktail napkin. Which I tear in half and chew for a few seconds. Then, wad into both ears! They usually stay all nite. With the pain in my ears gone, my attitude and enjoyment suddenly improves!:)

[Sandi Beech]

Thanks for all the replies, I have not been able to keep up since I have been traveling on the road again.

One last update. I did not bother removing any makeup other than my lipstick when I went to bed as it was late and I was very tired. So when I woke up this morning, I dressed up again before getting washed, so I could go pick up some free hotel food before closing. The lady managing the breakfast area was very curious about me, and we had a nice long chat about my little habit. She wanted to know what I looked like in drab mode, so I stopped by to say goodbye as I was checking out. She did not recognize me at all. I had to start talking to her about the dressing and she had a very puzzled look on her face at first. So I guess I do not have to worry as much as I thought I did about someone who knows me recognizing me. Few people have ever seen both sides of me.

Sandi

[Maid_Marion]

It has been so long since I've gone out to a crowd that I've forgotten where I put my high fidelity earplugs. Events were much more enjoyable with the sound reduced to a reasonable volume.

When I was growing my hair out a lot of my friends would ask me how old I was as I look a lot younger than my age.

Marion

[TheHiddenMe]

Lots of young people were there and I had not talked to that many people until a young woman came up to talk to me. I will not try to repeat what all she said, but let?s say it goes to my head when a pretty girl is so supportive. Every time I ask myself why I am doing this dressing, someone like this woman just makes me crazy with all the flattery.

Does it have the same effect on you when flattered?

See the title above for my answer...

About two months ago I was at my GG friend Michelle's favorite bar (I've been there between five and ten times) and a young female bartender came up to me and said she admired what I was doing. We talked for a bit and encouraged me to come back. The next time I came back I did she made it clear she was happy I came in. We're now friends on Facebook (guy me, of course).

Six months ago, having dinner at a local Pride event. The bartender, a young woman, says she loves my outfit.

Recently, walking along Venice Beach, a woman says she loves my outfit.

A couple of years ago, at a Savers, a woman says I should stick to shorter dresses because I have great legs. We talk for a bit,, and I thank her for the compliment. About a week l'm there (boy me) and she's there, so I flip a coin and walk up to her. She looks at me like "why is this dude talking to me?" I pull out my phone, show her the picture of how I was dressed the week before, and she said she would have never connected the two.

And while trying on a dress at Nordstrom, a guy waiting for his (I assume) wife says to me, "you have phenomenal legs; you might as well show them off".

Not to mention a woman walking by me in a dressing room and saying "so cute."

Yes, great to get compliments, and they usually come from women.

And yes, hate to break the illusion, but they know I'm trans and not a GG. People may wish to believe they present as a woman, but IRL it just doesn't happen. A very small percentage pass, and I'm not one of them. And I'm definitely OK with that. I assume they know I'm a guy in a dress; I just want to make sure it?s a pretty dress.

It's affirming when they say something. Makes you feel better, and happy you did something you've wanted to do for the past 50 years.

I also hear from my friends they is enough difference between boy me and girl me they wouldn't automatically connect the two. I've had enough examples--like your experience with the clerk--where I tend to believe them.

Now if we only could get our wives to believe that.

[Sandi Beech]

Thanks Dee,

Personally I have no concerns about passing. My motivation is to look as pretty or sexy as I can be for whatever look I am going for. If you do that, you will get noticed. I think people forget that you may not pass but can still be pretty looking. Like you said, you just have to make the best of your best attributes.

P.S. I am going clubbing again tonight. Yea. Now what to wear. Decisions decisions. Sometimes I really have to ponder quite a bit over that.

Sandi

[MarinaTwelve200]

I personally don't like "Drag" shows---they sort of "Creep me out". To me, NOTHING screams "Masculinity" more than a man obviously in drag. Perhaps it's a factor my "Straightness", NOT being turned on by men.-----PERHAPS the same reason excites WOMEN so much---they might see the "Maleness" too and be turned on by it. I am an "Escapist CD" and am attracted to women, so drag does not do anything for me-- Save for the ones who are really skilled "Illusionists".---THEN I admire them for their skill.

[Maria 60]

That's amazing a compliment is alway great especially in our situation and you must be so proud of yourself out and about again, I'm sure it takes a lot of confidence and courage
I was undressing and my wife was watching me sitting on the bed, she told me she wished half her dresses would look as good as mine do on me. I will never forget how amazingly happy I felt at that moment, especially coming from her

[Sandi Beech]

Marina,

I hate to tell you but some drag performers have near zero male traits. Some at this show even had real breasts and were only covered with pasties. - not plates, and if dressed properly, you would likely be fooled if you met them elsewhere. I am not into the shows themselves so much as the people the shows attract. This place was absolutely packed with GGs. So it is a great place to go if you want to interact with real women.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Sandi

[MiniRock]

This place was absolutely packed with GGs. So it is a great place to go if you want to interact with real women.

Hi Sandi,
I've not dressed up for over six months because I've been living in a hotel in Copenhagen. But if anyone can motivate me to change that, it's you.
Mini.

[SaraLin]

Sandi, when you said this:

and if dressed properly, you would likely be fooled if you met them elsewhere.

It reminded me of a time that a group showed up in a bar I was at. It wasn't a drag show really. It was more of a song-and-dance group, but they presented a challenge to the audience when it was announced that not all of them were "real" girls. The challenge was to figure out which was which.
At the end, wigs were removed to show who was who. I was wrong about half the time.
It was amazing how downright lovely some of the non-GG girls were!
And yes - I was envious.