Playing dressed

[Maria 60]

My friends son asked if I could play with them Friday night because there other guitarist wasn't around. Trust me I'm not a great guitar player and I don't criticize any form of music but they are a heavy metal band and there literary 3 power chords in every song. I helped them out once before but there so much younger and the environment is crazy in those places and I just felt out of place. I told him I would let him know but if they could find someone else. My wife asking why I don't want to go and help them out, I'm surprised she was even asking that question last time I played with them my wife came to watch she had to leave after the first song because she was getting shoved and grabbed and punched. My wife asked why not take this opportunity to dress up after all the others dress crazy. She pointed out that my friends son last time was wearing a long leather skirt and big black boots, and the bass player was definitely wearing leggings with a women's heel ankle boot and the other guitarist had ripped silk pants and was wearing some form of tights or pantyhose showing where the ripes were and they all wear purple lipstick. She said this would be a perfect opportunity to wear some sleazy things like my short black dress with stockings showing and my long black boots and I would definitely fit in dressed like that and to trust her nobody we know will be in a venue like that. Wow sounds like a dream and that's probably as far as that's going to be and I told her I don't know if that's the look the band wants. She convinced me to call and ask how they felt if I dressed like that. Sooo, I called him and explained last time I felt out of place playing with them and my wife suggested I have some fun with it and maybe dress in black maybe black leather short dress,black stockings and high boots and what he felt about it. He answered something like " that would be crazy" but he said it with excitement so I asked is that good or bad I'm not really in with there lingo. He apologized and said no that would be great the crazier the better. I told him I would let him know and again to get someone else if possible. As much as I would love to do this I don't know if I could do it, not even the thought of playing in front of all those crazy kids but to be dressed in front of my friends son and his friends and maybe my friend will come watch and who I see all the time. I'm just wondering if anyone else would do it

[Kris Burton]

Maria - I'm a guitarist/singer/music educator, and have been my entire life. Both of my sons are musicians as well. They are happy when I have gone to see and hear them play, but never once have they asked me to play. I'd say you have arrived! Given the opportunity, I'd do it and enjoy!

[char GG]

Your wife seems to be the one to encourage you to do things that you really want to do but hold back. So just try it! If you find that it isn't for you, don't do it a second time.

[alwayshave]

Maria, sounds like a great opportunity to combine two passions. I'd go for it.

[Jane P]

Wow, that does sound **CRAZY** in the best possible way! Let your hair down and rock it. Oh , and wear hearing protection.

[bridget thronton]

If you decide to do it - have fun

[Marsha Louise]

Sounds to me like a perfect opportunity to really shake things up, but in a good way. Talk about blending! I'd say jump right in and enjoy yourself!

[Stephanie47]

I'd say enjoy the moment. Doing that gig certainly would give a new meaning to "blending in." Have fun with it. I think most people would see it as you're kidding around with the younger generation. "I can be as goofy as them!" Just think of it as an outrageous Halloween costume party.

[Zuzana]

I would say, if you feel you want to do it but you are just little bit scared, then go for it. I know I would not like it at all and would not do it, but mostly because I am just not into this kind of music where people do crazy things. Also it would be distraction from playing for me. But it can be probably place where you could do literaly anything on stage, so if you feel like it is you, then why not? And yeah, your wife seems to be such a gem, so supportive!

[DeeDee67]

You'll be a hero!

[fiona de wilde]

Go for it girl, this is a great opportunity, you will always regret it if you let it go, Fiona

[ShelbyDawn]

Sounds like Halloween in February to me. Go for it! And take pictures!!!

[JuliannaS]

Do it! I've always dreamed of playing on stage dressed!
Sounds like a great opportunity!

[AngelaYVR]

One thing I have learned is to never say no to crazy fun once in a lifetime chances!

[TheHiddenMe]

Go for it girl, this is a great opportunity, you will always regret it if you let it go, Fiona

100%!

When opportunity is knocking at the door, go answer the door!

[April Rose]

I would do it if I could play better. Listen to your wife. Listen to the band guy. Listen to Fiona. She knows about this stuff. Wht is your friend doing at a heavy metal show if he's uptight about odd costumes anyway.

You know you want to.....:devil:

[Heather76]

I can't carry a tune in a bucket; but, if I had the skills, I'd jump on this. Do it, enjoy it, and please report back here how it went. You are one lucky girl to have your wife's encouragement. If your friend is there and says anything, tell him the truth - your wife suggested you do it dressed like that.

[Pumped]

Go for it! It is a fun excuse to dress crazy and not have any worries about acceptance. People will just think you are crazy! You don't even have to be concerned about passing!

[SaraLin]

It sounds like it could be a fun time - but if you do, be sure not to look TOO feminine!
It sounds like the look is more of a "to hell with societal norms" attitude than a "look like a girl" one.
OUTRAGEOUS would probably the the word to use in picking a look. Black dress, stockings and boots might be too tame - maybe?

[ziggie]

Obviously we need pictures if you decided to do it!

[kimdl93]

In a heartbeat. Do it, go all out!

[Heisthebride]

It sounds to me like you are putting your insecurities on others. These kids are doing their own thing, trying to show their own independence from how society thinks they should act or dress. If anyone is going to be accepting, and I might even argue grateful for crossing the generational boundaries, it would be this group of people. Dress up, have fun, enjoy the fact that you get to participate being part of something young and free. You also have one thing going for you already. You won't be dressing up to be like them, you will be dressing to be you.

[Paulie Birmingham]

Dressed like motley crue in their days. Cool

[Jane G]

Just go for it girl and I for one will be forever envious of your success. :daydreaming:

[Aka_Donna]

Do it at least once for your friends sake. Forget whether you'll like it or fit in. It's just a favor for a friend so you can have an "you owe me" in the bank. If it goes well, you may have another opportunity again. If it goes poorly, you can just say it was a weak costume for the gig. Ask what would have made it a better costume.

Maybe it's like heels or a slip. Until you take the leap, you'll never know if you'll like it and the event may end up high on your regrets list.

[JuliannaS]

I actually think my guitar playing is better when in dressed as a female.

[ronny0]

You / We all, only go around this life once (as far as we KNOW).
The thought normally is we might regret more not doing something than doing something.
I would say to you, Maybe 20/30 years from your event, some one might look back and think fondly on the guy that put it all out for the event.
If YOU want to do it, then DO IT!!!!! But put forth the effort that you feel the event deserves.
Don't go in 1/2 way, go all out to make it something others will enjoy.

[Alana Westenra]

Maria, as a lifelong heavy metal fan and musician, I can tell you that the Metal Community has long been an open-minded and accepting group. The bashing that happens in mosh-pits is (believe it or not) an expression of joy and trust. In a good Mosh pit, if you trip, you have less than a second before others catch you and make sure you're upright and ok. This is all to say that if you can muster up the courage to do this, I'm sure you'll get a real charge from the positive energy that occurs from playing loud energetic music to people who usually all identify as different from the mainstream in one or more ways. Also some of the most popular metal bands have genderqueer folks in them.

Also Female Metal artists have always had really fun outfits, check out Nita Strauss (plays with Alice Cooper) or the incredible Gina Gleason (Baroness) for the more conservative looks. Check out the entire band NERVOSA for some more aggressive looks.

Now put on a fierce lipstick shade and SHRED! :)

[Barbara Jo]

Personally, In the past (mainly in the 1970s) I have played bass in rock bands and I often fantasized about playing as female... like in a mini skirt, nylons / garters and sexy top,

[jazmine]

DAMN Maria! Another great adventure story! I didn't know you played guitar! Did I ever tell you that I did too? Anyways, if you do it, get some pictures!

[JustJennifer]

If the opportunity presented itself, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Seems like a pretty common fantasy among crossdressing musicians. I always wished that I could put together a CD-themed band, but alas, I was always too closeted to actually pursue that goal. Like most things in life, it's not going to happen unless you make it happen.

[Maria 60]

In case anyone wanted to know it didn't happen, I should have posted it during the week but the week got crazy. It was the first event since the Covid at that place and being shut down for 2 years they found the place in worse condition then they thought and they cancelled it. I never did get back to them if I was going to do it, but it was amazing that each member of the band called me and apologized. At almost 59 it is flattering how disappointed they were and are going to keep me in mind for the future. The singer is my friends son and when I would go visit I would hang out with him and the others, I've known them when they were small kids. When I called him and asked if I could dress up and asked if this was the look the band wanted and I didn't want to do anything against the bands reputation.
They are all very smart and respectful kids and they all answered me that they are not planning on making it big but for one day a week or month either in front of a thousand or ten people they close there eyes and for that moment they imagine they are rock stars. They told me I don't seem like a 59 year old and have a great easy going attude and they have great respect for me and they wouldn't do anything to me if they felt I couldn't handle it
While I was deciding I did do a dress up with my wife earlier in the week to see how I would have dressed, my wife found a purple wig we had from a Halloween past and I practiced one night to see how it would be. I don't think I wasn't going to be able to handle the long boots, after a few minutes they were killing me and the heel was a little to high. I believe it would have been a great experience but my biggest question was if I was really going to go through with it, I was already making a plan B of leather pants and vest. If they ask again I will consider it.

[kimdl93]

Nice to have a musical group that you can play with on ocassion. I hope the opportunity does arise again some day. In the mean time, what a great reason to practice both musically and in terms of presentation. I am sure your wife will happily assist you with outfits and makeup. You might even practice a few looks that go against the heavy metal?like business attire or casual?. Just for artistic purposes of course ;)

[Pumped]

Too bad it didn't work out, sounded like fun!

It would have been a perfect opportunity to dress and just be crazy with it.

[Kris Burton]

I have actually toyed with the idea of doing this. I often play solo guitar/vocals at local coffeehouses and restaurants, and have noticed the women in these circles do MUCH better in tips than the men. Who would have thought - CDing as a business decision. But then, there's the singing thing...

[bridget thronton]

I hope you do play with them sometime - regardless of the costume you choose tobwear

[docrobbysherry]

I'm sad it didn't work out, Maria. U must be disappointed? But, maybe you'll get another chance?:thumbsup:

Meanwhile, I'm disappointed as well. You're willing to dress up as Maria in front of 1000 people but won't post a photo of her here?:sad: