Assisted Living

[KarenSusan]

If we live long enough we will probably enter Assisted Living. Will an Assisted Living facility allow us to crossdress or live as a woman?

[April Rose]

Good question Karen. I suppose the only way to find out would be to call them and ask.

[Wendy-Lyn]

I'd rather die than go into one of those places.

[Kris Burton]

I know what you mean Wendy-Lyn, but they are not all bad. It's important to remember though, at risk of sounding cynical, that most of them are for-profit organizations. I think as such they would be willing to allow you to do whatever you wanted provided you keep the money for your upkeep coming in, and don't endanger yourself or others.

[Veronica Lacey]

Difficult to speak for every region but in today's day and age discrimination with regards to gender diversity would attract a lot of heat if not be condemned on some legal basis. In the assisted living residences I've visited (parents and relatives) the residents all have private rooms with private bathrooms and I cannot imagine these places being permitted to tell a resident how to live short of where to smoke and when the meals are served. If it is a shared room perhaps there could be some wrinkles to iron out.

[Paulette]

My dear friend is living as a woman in Arizona in an assisted living home. She checked in dressed and has been living 24/7 as a incontinent woman for several years so they know. Just ask and I am sure you can find a spot.

[countrygirl]

Check out https://thelei.org/

[kimdl93]

I would expect most assisted living facilities to make every possible accomodation for those who wish to present as women.

[sometimes_miss]

Even going back 50 years, when I was visiting elderly relatives I twice came across men in retirement homes, who routinely wore women's clothing. As long as they weren't causing any trouble, the staff was fine with whatever they wanted to wear. As the years passed on, and I was already a crossdresser, it made me happy to think that in the distant future, maybe I would finally be allowed to become the lady that I wanted so desperately to become. Even now that I know it will never happen, at least I know that there are some places where they live and let live.

[April Rose]

Thanks, Amanda, for that link. Another thing anyone going into assisted living should check on, in addition to their LGBTQ stance is whether or not they have automatic provisions in place for transfer to a nursing home should you need it. Shockingly, not all of therm do. One of my relatives found this out the hard way.

[Karren H]

Just put me in a pretty pink dress and park my wheelchair by the TV!

[julia.bowie]

I don't know if in the US what you refer to as "assisted living" is what we in the UK refer to as "care homes". If so, I'm with Wendy-Lyn in that I'd die first. I would seriously head off to Switzerland and take the Exit pill. There is no way I'm ending my days sat dribbling in an armchair having some care worker wiping my mouth. As to crossdressing in such a place, I'm sure that would be the least of your worries.

[alwayshave]

My mother is 92 and still lives at home. She says that if any one tries to put her in a home, she will kill them.

[Debbie Denier]

If assisted living is the same as sheltered accommodation in UK; Then should be free do do as one likes. Care home or nursing home, then I am with Wendy Lyn.My mother like Jamie?s lived in her own home until she passed away.I think thats what kept her going into her90s.

[Krisi]

For the answer to your question, you will have to contact the facility you are considering. The best we can do here is speculate.

[Rileyaz]

My dear friend is living as a woman in Arizona in an assisted living home. She checked in dressed and has been living 24/7 as a incontinent woman for several years so they know. Just ask and I am sure you can find a spot.

I live in Arizona. What city does your friend live in?

[Cheryl T]

This is a great question.
I've thought about this from time to time. Were I alone when it came time to need assistance I'm sure that I would love to be able to continue being me in that situation. I say that because if it were my wife and I then I would probably not as I would devote all my effort to her comfort and well being and once again suppress my desires.
There is also the issue of whether I would want someone else dressing me daily. I'm not certain I want that situation no matter how I present. I've always been too independent and I know I would resent giving part or all of that up to someone else.

[DianeT]

I'm curious on what grounds would they possibly have a say in your attire and gender presentation as long as it is decent.

[ziggie]

If I follow in my parents footsteps I will spend a few years in assisted living. As I live in a very conservative area I would guess that relatives of other residents would object to a "transvestite" living in the same place as grandpa or grandma. I'm not looking forward to it.

[Joyce Swindell]

If you are capable of dressing yourself, I'm sure the staff will have nothing to say about it anymore than your being out in public. Most stuff said will be behind your back and give absolutely no harm to you. It's not like the others in there are haters and can rough you up even if they are....right?

[MonicaPVD]

When I reach that point, I will wear a hospital gown and diapers and nothing else. So it is spoken, so it shall be!

[RADER]

As a Carpenter, I built two Assisted Living Homes. They are just a warehouse for people.
Most have two people to a room. no privet-icy at all.
I rather be in the ground.

[lingerieLiz]

interesting! I live in a city that has several assisted living, retirement homes and a couple Hospice facilities. We aren't that big, but people like it here. The real thing is that what you get depends on how deep your pockets go. A friend's mother could no longer take care of her self and moved to an assisted living. her mother loves it.The kids are successful and any of them can afford the cost. They have several vehicles that take residents to events. My grandmother was near death until she moved to assisted living. She made friends and took up sewing for fun. Years ago my neighbor died and no one realized it for several weeks. He seldom went out and none of the neighbors were used to seeing him. I worked out of town and seldom saw him. My mother has someone come to her home stock her kitchen and clean up. She wants to die in her home.

[Marsha Louise]

Apprehensive as one may be about surrendering one's privacy, particularly when it concerns their "non-conforming" dressing habits, there's probably little need for worry when residing in an assisted living facility.
Also, it's important to realize there's a big difference between assisted living and nursing homes, and the reasons for being there. Assisted living means different things to different people, and appeals to a broad range of folks, many of whom are perfectly capable of living independently but like the comfort and carefree convenience of assisted living: no more cleaning, cooking, laundry, mowing, fixing, etc. and freedom to engage in whatever kinds of hobby or activity they choose. Nice!
Nursing homes are, sadly, a necessary and far less attractive option for senior living, where most residents are completely dependent on care provided by staff, and dressing is often one step away from hospital garb. Sure, you could request alternative attire that doesn't align with your actual gender, but at that late stage of life I think most of us would have more immediate things on our minds.
My own mother lived in assisted living for almost ten years, and we always found the staff to be extremely kind and attentive, to her and all other residents, no matter how conventional or unconventional they happened to be.