Man in the ladies section...

[Molly Wells]

I needed to pick up some things from Kohls for the guy me.
I had been thinking about getting a new bra and some panties as well.
So, I'm in guy mode and go to the men's dept to get what I needed. Right across the aisle is the lingerie so I went to the area. There were a couple of ladies in the area and that old feeling of "man in the ladies section" came over me and I decided to leave with out getting anything.
I remember thinking to myself as I had walked into the lingerie area "I wish I had had time to get dressed and be a woman to go shopping."

When I'm dressed I feel normal and love shopping "in the ladies section" and never feel nervous or anxious. Today as I guy, no courage... I know, silly me.

Anybody else ever feel this way?

Molly

[Jeri Ann]

Mind games Molly, mind games.

[kimdl93]

Sure. I seldom shop for mens clothing in person any more, but on those rare ocassions the same thought has occured to me.

[Petra Lynn]

I used to worry about what other people thought when I?d shop in the women?s department in guy mode. Nobody gives a second thought to women shopping in the men?s department, so why should we really be worried, I also no longer care what anyone else thinks.

[Jane G]

Never shopped dressed. Pretty comfortable shopping drab in the ladies section. I guess it is what you are used to.

[docrobbysherry]

Nope. Just the opposite! Since I'm obviously a, "man in a dress", muggles all notice me! Whether they approve, disapprove, or just look away quickly, I find all of it a distraction and stressful!:doh:

When I go shopping, it's about shopping. NOT about having everyone notice me.:eek:

U can be all upset that u were stared at or miss gendered. As the old guy in the ladies section I may just be stared at momentarily by a few random shoppers. Wondering if I'm buying shape wear for my girlfriend or wife? But, the helpful SA's won't bat an eye while helping the "nice old man"! And, I'll be out of there in few relaxed minutes with my goodies!:thumbsup:

[AngelaYVR]

I remember using the women’s bathroom in a department store years ago and overhearing two women complaining about a man in the lingerie section. Why is he there? What is he doing? I decided discretion was called for in this situation and remained in the stall until they left. (BTW, it is perfectly legal anywhere in Canada to use the bathroom that corresponds to your presentation)

[nancy58]

I feel the same discomfort shopping in drab in the women's section -- and especially the lingerie department. In the other women's departments, I can feel comfortable in responding, should anyone ask, that 'm shopping for a gift. The funny thing is, when crossdressing first came roaring into the front of my life 17 years ago, I was reasonably going into Victoria's Secret in the city, where a sales lady cautioned me against buying my woman a bra.

Really, if you're minding your own business, you should be able to shop to your heart's content, but you have to defeat the most threatening thing -- your own mind.

[Patience]

In the beginning, shopping for anything feminine anywhere felt awkward as heck, but since I got used to it, I have come to enjoy it. The only section I'll admit to skim sorta quickly is the underwear section, but the selection in my size tends to be limited, so it can be done quickly enough.

@Angela: Great story. If only that woman knew. Lol.

[Crissy 107]

Just last week I was in Walmart and of course passing through the ladies department, I always do. There was a guy with a cart full of groceries, two young kids and he was looking through the multi packs of panties. Maybe he was looking for his wife but I doubt it. :)

[Geena75]

Dresses I can do without thinking twice. I still feel a little nervous when shopping for "unmentionables." I still pull out a note so it looks like I'm shopping for someone, but, honestly, what woman would send a man out to get her a bra or panties?

[FrannGurl]

It doesn't bother me much, especially as I've gotten older... I Love Kohls too!

[TAG]

I worked retail for 2 years and the guy with a note thing is well known thing among dept store workers.
I heard some funny comments and some not so funny comments about the "note"guys.

[Kimberly A.]

Hi, Molly. :) Tbh, I used to be that way. I go shopping from time to time in "male mode" for pantyhose and I used to get nervous about that, but not anymore..... Just the other day while in "drab", I was shopping in the women's section for a new shaper, but couldn't find one in my size. LOL But, I feel pretty much the same as everyone else feels..... If no one bats at eye at a woman shopping in the men's section, then why should anyone give a hoot about a man shopping in the ladies' section??

[Heather76]

The first 2 or 3 times I went into the lingerie departments I was mildly nervous. That feeling has long since left me. I look at bras, panties, stockings, nighties, and dresses without giving a 2nd thought to what others might think. If any other customer were rude enough to say anything, I'm prepared to tell them I'm shopping for a surprise to give to my wife. That's the truth as my wife seeing me in something new could well be a surprise. If a SA asked if they could help me, I'd be up front in telling them I'm looking for something for myself. If it were a dress, I'd inquire if it would be okay to use the fitting room. I don't believe they could help me effectively if they are working under a misconception. Age is a great help in not particularly caring what others you don't know think.

[Patience]

[...]There was a guy [...] and he was looking through the multi packs of panties. Maybe he was looking for his wife but I doubt it. :)I agree. What would anybody's wife be doing hiding among the multi packs of panties? :heehee:

[Mary Loo]

I am very comfortable in the ladies section when I am with my wife, but then of course we are 100% shopping for her and I’m just imagining and admiring from afar. Though my wife is aware, she isn’t fully on board, so I wouldn’t expect any help picking anything out or offering suggestions. (Maybe SOME day in the distant future?). She did help with my first online shopping, though. We have since had a few open discussions about her true feelings.

Honestly, as awkward as it is, I would be less concerned shopping in drab except for seeing people I know seeing me as such. SAs and other general public opinions don’t concern me as much as running into someone I know or that knows me that I don’t see, sees me. Granted I have never left the closet and may never, but to me the whole point to go out en femme would be to go, shopping. Granted I doubt I will ever be able to pass so it is more about attitude, but again, I could never do it in my community, only in cities farther away. However, I know lots of people in surrounding cities, too. Hence, I am truly in awe of those of you that have the courage to go shopping either fully dressed or in drab and try clothes on in the store. (SO jealous). Honestly, the thought of trying on lot of clothes and seeing myself in the mirror is more fun than the idea of spending money to buy something just for brief wearings at home. There are so many clothes that I may never get the opportunity to try on, unless I was shopping in a brick and mortar store.

For now, my wardrobe is very small, but I expect to utilize online shopping for awhile, albeit maybe slowly at a pace my wife can accept. For now I will live vicariously through everyone else’s posts and stories.

[Trina856]

I always shop in mens apparel and never feel weird. I say it?s for my wife lol

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

I'm thinking now about how I went looking for a specific bit of shapewear at a local Macy's showing the SAs that it was showing up as 'in stock' on their website on the phone and that was a modern version of the man with a note deal.

[Crissy 107]

I agree. What would anybody's wife be doing hiding among the multi packs of panties? :heehee:

Patience, You got me laughing with this one, thanks

[Elaine Lynn]

At christmas time i was in the panty isle lookin for my size panties and an older good lookin woman came up by me and waited till i was done gave me a big smile and we both went about our business. She never said anything and i did not hurry and didnt care what she thought.

[HollyCD]

Mostly in the closet, so only shop an hour or more away from home, sometimes in drab sometimes while wearing women's athletic outfit. Comfort level varies, it can seem like the most natural thing to do at times, awkward at others. I try to be aware of GG's in the area, especially in the underwear/lingerie section. Most pay me no mind and continue with their search. If I get the sense that I'm making someone uncomfortable (usually older ladies) I'll stroll to another aisle or section and return later. Question for TAG - could you elaborate on the "guy with a note" stories? I'm curious what SA's have to say about this. I'm not a note person myself, haven't even thought of that. But I imagine SA's have seen men shopping in the women's section and can tell when their shopping for themselves.

[TAG]

I think the main thing to remember if you feel funny about shopping in the ladies dept its you because no one else really cares.

[Jenn A116]

I sometimes go shopping with a note. But its because I want to be sure I'm getting everything I went for. :)

Seriously. A recent trip to Ulta for cosmetics included some specific brands/colors suggested by a GG friend. So I had a list of about six items when I went in, in full male drab. I was approached by one of the MUA's who asked if I needed help. Boy did I ever. I first explained that although I was shopping for feminine items they were for me. She said no problem and I responded that is good, I just wanted to be sure she was comfortable doing it. So I started going down the list which included eye liner, mascara, color correcting moisturizer, press on nails and some other things. Where necessary she helped select the right shade and suggested alternatives. Spent about 20 minutes doing all of this and I walked out of there on a high.

[Patience]

Patience, You got me laughing with this one, thanksI couldn't have done it without your perfect setup. Thanks!

I think the main thing to remember if you feel funny about shopping in the ladies dept its you because no one else really cares.Not only that, but everyone has a right to shop for anything they like for whatever reason they like, so people who "care" should just mind their own business.

[DeeDee67]

I'm like Jenna, my last visit to the mall I had the ladies find me a good foundation, mascara, eye liner, lipstick and lip liner. The next stop at different store I was looking for a pocketed bra and inserts. The SA was very helpful considering I told her it was for me. She just said OK good, she gave me a quick look over, picked out a bra put the inserts in and told me that should work but it may feel a little heavy. She escorted me to the men's dressing room so I could try it on. The next stop was a BoHo outlet for a midi dress, I finally just told her it was for me, same thing, a quick look over and she picked out my size which I tried on and a perfect fit. I do the same at VS, it's just easier for me and the SA from the quessing game.

[StacyG]

It's amazing the power we give to strangers we will never meet or see again. When I was a teenager, I was at Sears at the mall during Christmas time. Of course the mall was packed to the gills and here i am next to a rack along the main aisle, holding a pair of red tap panties in awe and wonder. I was totally entranced by them and out the blue a man walks by and says "that's not your color." Snapped me back to reality but then i realized he had no idea who I was shopping for, he was just being silly. Like when I see a friend holding his wife's purse and say, That goes great with your outfit.

[Marsha Louise]

Whenever I go browsing the aisles of the women's section, I try to appear focused and serious about what I'm doing, and avoid giving off signals that I'm doing something sneaky or unusual, or that I'm somehow trespassing.
I also bring along a small tape measure that I brandish frequently and unapologetically as I view and consider items for purchase. Of course, I know my own measurements and relative sizes, but nobody else there knows whether I'm shopping for me, my partner, a theatre group or a women's shelter. Plus, measuring the various seams helps me avoid the need to try things on in-store.
Usually I'm dressed in a neat, hybrid mode, the way most people are used to seeing me, and I've never experienced any kind of prejudice or hostility, shopping or otherwise.
Try bringing a tape measure with you next time you go clothes shopping: another shopper might need and appreciate your "expert" assistance!

[StephanieLake]

So far I have only shopped in drab mode. When I first started, lingerie was all I was buying and at first I thought all the women were watching me. After time, I got more comfortable with it. Now I'm shopping for outer clothes and I go to the women's section and browse like I belong there. If I'm with my wife, and we are local, she doesn't like me to hold the clothes up to see if they fit, but if we are out of town or I'm alone, I have no problem doing it. So far, no one has said a word. If they do, I plan on being honest and say it's for me.

[Stephanie47]

Yes, guilty as charged! How often are you going to see a 74 year old guy buying lingerie in the women's section? Maybe at Christmas or Valentine's Day or Mother's Day, and, in the nightgown section. Bra and panties? Psychologically, when my wife was younger (decades ago) and a 34B, I felt comfortable shopping for her. It would have been obvious to any sales associate I was not shopping for myself. I did shop for myself around holiday times with no mental angst. I had a 38 chest, and, felt I was still flying under the CD radar. Add aging and physical change, the angst arose. Of course, the motivation to shop in person also changed because the selection of garments I am interested in has changed. Find colorful slips? Zip, nil, nadda. Matching bra and panty with the slip? Zip, nil, nadda. Attractive nightgowns? You're kidding. Even if I had the balls to shop for myself, there is not too much to buy. I know my sizes and it is easier to order on line. I am awaiting the arrival of the latest colors of one of my favorite styles of Vanity Fair panties.

I had to chuckle about "the guy with a list." That was me before the internet, when newspapers still had lingerie/undergarment ads. Who was I kidding when I presented the ad for a Vanity Fair pull on shaping slip. The SA said, with a smile, "She even gave you the ad with the size written down!" I did that twice because the garment came in black or white. Once I bought an open bottom girdle at Sears using the same ruse, although it did look like I just crawled out from under a car.

I also used Halloween, the holy day of cross dressers to buy wigs, 12W shoes at Payless and attire. With hindsight, I was not fooling anyone.

[TAG]

I couldn't have done it without your perfect setup. Thanks!
Not only that, but everyone has a right to shop for anything they like for whatever reason they like, so people who "care" should just mind their own business.

I agree.

[Molly Wells]

Thanks for all the good comments and some laughs!
For myself, I don't usually feel anxious shopping for femme things when in drab. It just hit me a little more the other day. It might be because it has been a long time since I have shopped in male mode. I am fortunate to be able to get out in femme from time to time (although it seems like it has been forever) and that is one of my pass times is to shop.
The other day I was a bit distracted and in a bit of a hurry, but rest assured, I'll not long be deterred!!

Hugs,
Molly

[Jamie390]

I used to try to shop for womens stuff either when the store first opened or later in the evening because there were less people in the store to "bust"me. However the more that I did it, the more I noticed that other shoppers do not really care or even notice that I am a guy dressed as a guy looking at and trying on womens clothes. Just this past weekend I was trying swimsuits at Target. I came out of the fitting room, hung three swimsuits on the go back rack right in front of a Target employee. She saw what I was returning, smiled and told me to have a nice day. Now she might tell her friends and co-workers what she saw, why should I care? It doesn't make me uncomfortable anymore.

[Gillian Gigs]

For many years I have purchased lingerie items, dressed in male mode. It took time to get comfortable doing it until it became perfectly natural. Only once did I remove myself from a situation. A woman, who was obviously 'not all there' started saying, "ha ha what is a man doing looking at stockings and pantyhose". I left and area and returned once she was gone. Now I think that most people are so into themselves that they notice nothing outside of themselves.

[Marissa Q]

There are a lot of great comments/thoughts in this thread, but this one from TAG sticks out at me:


I worked retail for 2 years and the guy with a note thing is well known thing among dept store workers.

For me, this just tells me that I simply need to own it because I'm not fooling anyone (except myself).
If it's any consolation, 50 years ago you would have likely been arrested for panty shopping. In a country that reminds its citizens every hour on the hour that the USA is the "land of the free", well... we really should loosen up and enjoy some of that freedom.

I'm basically a "closeted" CD, too, but I often find it funny how many of us act as if we're living in some authoritarian dictatorship that's ready to drop the hammer on us for even looking at a department store bra. It's all an illusion, really (and one I'm guilty of as well). Thanks for all the reminders in this thread of how it's really all in my own mind.

[Fiona_44]

I used to feel very self-conscious shopping (usually in Kohl's) for lingerie dressed in male clothing. I even tried the "guy with a note" trick. But after awhile I just didn't care anymore. I go to a Kohl's about 30 min. away rather than another one close to where I live and just go about my business without looking at anyone in the lingerie section. 99% of the women shopping there don't really care if a guy's shopping for intimates.

[Nic J]

As an enby (one who obviously doesn't pass) i was a little apprehensive the first time i went shopping on the better side of the aisle, but it's just a confidence thing. Now, i don't care who sees me buying female things. If they don't approve then they are the ones who have the problem, not me.
You're not doing anything wrong, if you behave normally and get on with your shopping. Don't be nervous or furtive, it just draws attention to you. Be confident. Walk in like you own the place!

[susanmichelle]

I too used to be on edge shopping for womens clothing. I finally just settled down, would not look at anyone else just go to the section with whatever I was looking for and pick out my size then if that was the only thing purchased I?d go to the checkout. I?ve only had 1 time I?ve ever had a problem. I went into a consignment store one time and the owner came up to me said this is a woman?s store would you please leave. I never went back I even told some of my lady friends that knew of my dressing about 6 months later they went out of business. I think their not having an open mind is what caused it. They did it to theirselves

[Leslie Langford]

I think that there are fundamentally two dynamics at play here when we fret over buying lingerie for ourselves when in drab.

1) We fetishize women's lingerie waaaay too much due to the way we were socialized and made to believe what was sexy, and what was not. We drool over certain styles of panties or bras, whereas for most women it's "meh!...it's just underwear". Unless they are preparing for a hot date that might lead somewhere or else a romantic evening with their husband or SO, they are far more concerned with comfort and fit - and sexy lingerie is not generally known for its inherent comfort.

2) Women are very territorial when it comes to the "Women's Sections" in stores. They are always on the look-out for predators, creeps and weirdos who might do them harm. That's how they have been socialized, and often for good reason. A man in the lingerie section fondling panties or bras would certainly give off those vibes, deserved or not. The fact that he may be a crossdresser and is simply buying for himself usually isn't top of mind for them. We are also keenly aware of that barrier, and it gives us pause as well.

It may sound counter-intuitive, but the best policy in many cases is to simply approach the nearest SA, tell them that you are shopping for yourself, and would like their assistance. Sure, an initial moment of awkwardness for both parties, but once the ice is broken and the SA becomes an ally for the rest of the shopping mission, it's amazing how satisfying and empowering it can be. Plus, the SA benefits from what will likely be a far higher sales total than she might see with the average female shopper.

[rachellegsep]

Paper list has to be upgraded now to message on phone :D

[Debbie Denier]

Doesn?t bother me more comfortable in drab . Any one seen the Father Ted clip . Priests lost in lingerie dept? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhuxrgi6lEI

[Judy-Somthing]

I got that feeling the last two times I went dress shopping.
Over the last four years I bought about 400 dresses but in the last two months I've been too embarrassed to look at dresses in front of women!

[Marissa Q]

Leslie, those points are so well-stated that they should be a sticky on this forum.

[HollyGreene]

I have bought bras and panties as gifts for several girlfriends and wives since the 1980s. I never felt self-conscious doing that, so buying for myself has never been a problem.
There was one time when I was buying for a girlfriend and for myself at the same time. The shop assistant pointed out that I was buying different sizes. I just said "Yes. For 2 different people" and nothing more was said.

[JulieC]

I remember using the women?s bathroom in a department store years ago and overhearing two women complaining about a man in the lingerie section. Why is he there? What is he doing?

This irritates me. I see women in the men's section of stores all the time. No one ever thinks anything of it. This includes underwear. But a man? Setting foot in a lingerie section? HORROR OF HORRORS! SOME ONE CALL THE SOCIETY POLICE! QUICK!

:brolleyes:

[Crystal120]

I love to shop but I do it out of town because I have such a public job. I don't hesitate to go to the female section dressed as a male because I do not go out dressed. My wife allows me to dress at home with not much concern she even helps me shop sometime. I am not gay but love to fully dress at home.

[Kris Burton]

For me, there's a funny psychological game going on. When i would shop in the women's section for clothing for my wife - no problem. When I began to shop there for myself, very self conscious, checking around for who saw me. Outwardly no difference at all - the difference was all in my mind. As I continue down the CD road, I'm finding it less of a problem, but it's still an issue. It doesn't stop me though, i just power through and it goes away in a few minutes.

I do know they are coming to recognize me at the thrift store though, the guy who asks for the dressing room key while holding a skirt, or trying on shoes. No one has said a thing.

[Geena75]

I generally shop at stores away from the local haunts fearing someone I know seeing me with a bra, nylons or panties (even I tried to pass it off as for the spouse, they might ask her about it if they saw her). I used the covid mask mandate to my advantage, like a disguise. Of course, wearing a mask and sunglasses would really make me look like a predator.

One reason for the difference is that women's "unmentionables" are often made to look pretty or sexy and a guy shopping them can seem like a guy lusting after mannequins. Maybe it's my perspective, but I don't see men's underwear being either pretty or sexy, or women shopping them with any thought other than "he really needs new shorts."

[Lorna]

I used to have to go quite often to central London - a long way from home - and would sometimes visit the several large department stores along Oxford Street. Somewhat surprisingly there would often be several men, apparently of middle-eastern origin, accumulating armfuls of women's lingerie items. While that helped with any anxiety I might have had in being in the lingerie department in male clothes, I wondered why those men obviously felt quite at ease. I assumed that they were visitors, perhaps on business, to London and found the selection of lingerie on offer in those stores more attractive than was available in their home countries. Probably, too, they were buying on instructions from wives/daughters/girlfriends back home. I haven't visited Oxford Street for several years now so things might have changed with the drastic reduction in overseas visitors as a result of Covid.

[Cheryl T]

I used to feel that way all the time shopping.
It was like spotlights were on me with a sign over my head and an arrow pointing at me "Crossdresser Alert!". You have to have confidence that you are doing nothing wrong. It's not strange. It's just shopping.
Look around and find what you like. Your money is the same no matter how you are dressed.

[JuliannaS]

It doesn't phase me at all.

[JulieC]

Somewhat surprisingly there would often be several men, apparently of middle-eastern origin, accumulating armfuls of women's lingerie items. While that helped with any anxiety I might have had in being in the lingerie department in male clothes, I wondered why those men obviously felt quite at ease. I assumed that they were visitors, perhaps on business, to London and found the selection of lingerie on offer in those stores more attractive than was available in their home countries. Probably, too, they were buying on instructions from wives/daughters/girlfriends back home. I haven't visited Oxford Street for several years now so things might have changed with the drastic reduction in overseas visitors as a result of Covid.

Lorna, it isn't uncommon in some cultures for women to not be allowed to shop in person. Instead, male family members go and buy a bunch of things they think might be ok. They take it home, and then the woman for whom they are buying then decides what they want, and the rest gets taken back. Just a possibility.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Molly :hugs:, One thing I learned was not to make Eye contact with shoppers in the Ladies section, >Orchid**0:daydreaming:0**

[cd300]

I just went through these emotions The other day. I bought a new outfit at a store in guy mode and went to khols looking for stockings and panties.
Found myself alone for first part found what I was looking for. But then there were about 6 different women in the department so I put on my big girl panties and shopped right where I was and bought 5 more pairs of panties.
So I got 6 panties and as I approached the front I saw the line and there where men in it 🤔 so lost all courage for a moment and came up with a solution.
I picked up one mens t shirt and used it to hide the rest of my items until I got to register. So if you act naturally in the same situation next time regardless of how your dressed you should be fine.

[Wendy-Lyn]

I've been to buy makeup at a couple of local bargain bazaar-type store while dressed. The first time I did, I left my purse in the car, undiscovered until I was going to the counter - I nearly bolted then, but went and got it then returned to the store. But I'm normally in drab when I'm shopping for clothing or shoes.
I used to be terrified of going into the women's section of stores, and it got to a stage that my dressing was curtailed as I had nothing to wear. So I just had to 'girl-up' and go do it. That was a few years ago now, and I haven't had any bad experiences so far. Some of the stores I go to have gotten to know me and I'm just like any one of the GG women customers to them.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

Sometimes if someone glares at me I remember that I sometimes may be giving people a look if they're looking at the exact section I want to rifle through, maybe they're just annoyed I'm in the way.

[JulieC]

...khols looking for stockings and panties...

Yeah, unfortunately Kohls has stopped carrying pantyhose and tights. In my town of ~100,000 souls, there are no places now to buy higher quality hosiery, just grocery stores and Target/Walmart.

[alwayshave]

Molly, once in Kohls, in male mode, in the lingerie section shopping for panties I had an older women tell me I was in the wrong section. I said, no I'm not. End of conversation.

[Meghan4now]

Sometimes but not always. Depends on who is around and if they are at the exact section I want to look at. To bad you didn't go over. Kohl's has my favorite Vanity Fair bikini bottom

[Karmen]

I don't have a problem shopping in ladies section when in male mode, but it's funny that every time I go there, shop assistant comes right over to help. They don't do that for the ladies and let them browse for them self, at least for a while. Maybe I still feel a bit awkward when waiting with clothes in front of changing room to get my turn to try them on or when trying on shoes and walk around the shop wearing high heels. But since I started going out fully crossdressed also during the day, I rarely do my shopping for female items that I have to try on before buying, in male mode.

[Fiona Lindum]

I was once shopping in a ladies clothes shop in male mode. A customer made a fuss about there being a man in the shop. The sales assistant reply to the customer was to the effect that the shop could serve whoever it wanted.

[Leslie Langford]

I just went through these emotions The other day. I bought a new outfit at a store in guy mode and went to khols looking for stockings and panties.
Found myself alone for first part found what I was looking for. But then there were about 6 different women in the department so I put on my big girl panties and shopped right where I was and bought 5 more pairs of panties.
So I got 6 panties and as I approached the front I saw the line and there where men in it 🤔 so lost all courage for a moment and came up with a solution.
I picked up one mens t shirt and used it to hide the rest of my items until I got to register. So if you act naturally in the same situation next time regardless of how your dressed you should be fine.

You just never know...people can surprise you sometimes.

I was in the women's underwear section of a local Walmart (I hesitate to use the term "lingerie" in this context here) a few weeks ago looking for a particular brand/size of panties.

As I was scanning the racks for my preferred choice, I was soon joined by a 30-something GG on a similar mission. I'm at a point now where I am just as comfortable shopping for women's clothes in drab as I am shopping for male clothes (although the latter happens far, far less frequently now than the former), consequently I stood my ground and didn't let her presence faze me.

I guess there is some power in just "owning it"....not only did this GG appear to be totally unperturbed by my presence there, at one point she actually turned towards me to express her frustration over not being able to find what she was looking for, and likely seeking sympathy and validation as women tend to do in such situations. Being the gentleman (?) 🤔 that I am, I comiserated with her and eventually moved on...also empty-handed, I might add.

All in all, a very uneventful interaction, and no children or small animals were harmed in the process 😚.

[Itsjustme]

I don't dress in public, but I'm usually pretty ok in most department stores in the women's section or in the cosmetics. If a store has a combination of self-checkout and humans, I try and use the human checkout just to gain more confidence. Usually they don't care. Even had a conversation with one girl ringing me out who was pretty sure what I was buying was for me and seemed to think it was cute. The exception is TJ Maxx...it always seems to have late-50's women in it who just look like they'll give you a hard time. I don't buy, ehm, unmentionables in-person though. It just seems ripe someone to scream "perv" through the store.

I haven't yet been courageous enough for a women's only store though. Thanks to the internet and COVID, there isn't one within 45 minutes of me anymore anyway.

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Molly,
I wish I had your courage to go out dressed. You are doing great and don't let them get you down. Now if I could only live my own works.
Brenda.

[suzanne]

I think the answer to your dilemma is just experience. The more you put yourself in that situation, the easier it becomes. A lot of it has to do with the realization that sales staff is supportive no matter how you present. In fact, I truly believe that salesladies actually ENJOY helping CDs find their true expression. Could it be the novelty of it, or the knowledge that they're helping to break down toxic masculinity? Or something else? I don't know, but it's real and it's spectacular.

[phylis anne]

I have quite oftenhad that hesitation in guy mode ,but one day I told myself to own it, I went in to a dress shop as my fashion favorite is a peasant skirt nice long and flowing ,the sales girl came up and inquired I told her what I was looking for ,of course her next question was for who? I told her right out it is for me ! she did not blink an eye said it was good I was out about it so she could properly fit me , we found one I put it on and she took a look went down one waist size , then she mentioned if you can afford it you need the peasant blouse to go with it all came out great ,then after a bit of chit chat she brings a tape and takes all the important measurements and says keep it handy that sure beat the death stares I have encountered elsewhere

[Maid_Lauren]

The older you are, the less you bother with other people. Forty years ago I got the usual rush and paranoia about shopping. That fades with time. How do people know you are not buying clothes for someone else? ?Real men are secure in their masculinity? is a statement that you can give anyone who makes a comment. Seriously, if you see a woman buying men?s clothing items, do you automatically assume she is buying them for herself?

Thirty years ago, my wife and I had a dinner party once or twice a month. We had a party on Halloween so I got dressed up as the maid. This is infront of vanilla friends. We went to a uniform store and I tried on dresses. I?m with my wife and no one cared. I had to go to a shoe store alone to get heels and that wasn?t a problem. Halloween seems to be the time that straight guys can dress up and it is fine.

A CD friend told me that some movie houses show the Rocky Horror Story on Halloween and they are filled up with guys playing Magenta.

Years ago I read a book called ? Vested Interests? which was about the cultural history of cross dressing. I read it pre internet and it was mind blowing.

[Katrinka]

I?d like to reply to this thread as it is something I myself have struggled with for a long tiime. I?m 46 years old so I rememmber the pre internet days. I f I wanted something I had to go to a brick and mortar store and buy it.now I can just go online and buy it. So much easier. I do feel very uncomfortable shopping as a guy in the female clothes and lingerie department however I am at ease and comfortable in the makeup aisles. I Jane no issue going up to a sales associate I?m the makeup dept and saying i am looking for a new foundation or a new mascara. None what so ever. Why? Idk. Maybe becuase as a man I do wear tinted moisturizer and some power and I know my colors? But when it comes to clothing shoes or lingerie I just feel like I?m being stared at or something. The same with accessories I have no issue looking at jewelry or handbags. None at all. I?ll spend whatever Amy of time I want looking through the jewelry or handbags and be completely comfortable. I have even asked to try on rings and no one bats an eye or thinks anything. I make my purchases and leave for jewelry handbags and makeup and don?t think anything of it. Clothes shoes and lingerie and I?m a paranoid freak. It?s just funny how our brains are conditioned.

[Rachel05]

I am always dressed as a man when I shop for my ladies clothes, I love shopping for lingerie and long since stopped worrying about what others might think about a man in the ladies area and in all the time I have done it, I have never had one single adverse comment from other shoppers or the shop assistants

It wasn't always that way in my head though, it took a few years for me to be confident

[BobbiKay]

Our daughter told the story last night of her now-ex BF going to the store to get Midol for her. The customer behind him in the register queue gave him some cr*p about his purchase, "It's not for headaches, you know" kind of stuff. So instead of praise for being a supportive SO, he got harassed.

If somebody gives you grief, remember that it's not that it *takes* all kinds, it's just that there *are* all kinds.

[josie_S]

I always shop in drab and no matter how long I've been doing it or how far away from home I go to do it, I always feel like I'm out of place and I can't seem to shake it. It takes effort to push through how I feel and buy what I want anyway. Just for that reason I'd love to try shopping en femme, among a million others...

I definitely remember a long time ago looking at bras in a wal mart and a middle aged woman suddenly snuck up behind me and we were both looking at the same bras. At first she didn't bat an eye, but then she looked at me for a sec and then it must've registered for her what I was doing there because she gave me an audible "oh!" and then she winked at me and smiled...I felt so relieved and happy! She just shopped right along side me and didn't say anything else to me or I to her. Eventually I left and went to pay. I think that was as positive an experience a i could have had, given everything.

[bre]

Not long ago I was shopping (drab) the Lane Bryant Doorbuster panty sale and had picked out panties for both my wife and for myself. The sales associate asked me if I realized that my selections were in more than one size. I replied, "Yes, they are for more than one person." No problem...

[DianeT]

2) Women are very territorial when it comes to the "Women's Sections" in stores. They are always on the look-out for predators, creeps and weirdos who might do them harm. That's how they have been socialized, and often for good reason. A man in the lingerie section fondling panties or bras would certainly give off those vibes, deserved or not. The fact that he may be a crossdresser and is simply buying for himself usually isn't top of mind for them. We are also keenly aware of that barrier, and it gives us pause as well.
I wouldn't say that it concerns all women, and territorial may not be the right word for it (it's more like wanting a safe zone). But I agree with 100% of Leslie's explanation here. Women have valid reasons to be concerned when a male ventures in their section. And the CD explanation - vs perv - will probably not be the one that comes to mind for most of them. Keep in mind that most women will experience some kind of sexual harassment in their life (in USA, 81% of women, 43 % of men, and the perpetrators are primarily males, even for the male victims. See https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics). If you don't believe it, ask the females you know. I asked my wife once, and was surprised to learn that she was harassed many times including unwanted contact.

[Amy Lynn3]

This is just the way I do most of my shopping now. If I shop for my male self I just do it myself. If I shop for Amy I ask the first female SA I see to help me select what I'm looking for. I always walk away with better quality/price than if I had did it myself.

[jjjjohanne]

It's kind of funny...
I feel more comfortable shopping for lingerie in menswear. I don't want people to see a crossdresser in the lingerie section. I would rather they see me in a skirt doing non-lingerie things. I overthink everything.... but I would rather not have someone's only CD encounter be related to panties. :) I'm a nut. I know it!

[Donna St. Marten]

I use to avoid shopping for women's clothing in drab, but no more. I pick out what I want and take it to the cashier. If anybody asks if it's for me I always give them a big smile and say"absolutely."

[Geena75]

This thread makes me want to go shopping all dressed up but go the men's dept. and shop for myself. That would be interesting and amusing.

[Jodi79]

I don't get worried about the looks I get - but I do feel them. However, this reminds me of a time my wife and I were at JC Penny shopping in panty section (for both of us) and I don't know if they heard us talking or just didn't think a man should be shopping with his wife on such a place - but these older women walked by and made some kind of rude comment to us. Can't remember what they said but I thought it was funny until it made my wife not want to get panties for us.

[bre]

Just before Covid, around 2019, I was travelling for business in male-mode. I stopped at a Goodwill in the north Dallas, TX area and found the prettiest long, flowing nightgown in a sheer seafoam green (think "Endora" from Bewitched). Surprisingly, it was a plus size and fit me very well. The cashier gave me a sly look and then she said in a low voice that the nightie matched my eyes and added that she thought it would look good on me. I didn't know if she was serious or joking, but I thanked her for the compliment. Then, not to be outdone, I added that I had already tried it on and that I knew it looked good on me. Still looking for matching panties ...

[Comfywithmyself]

I've done this alot, and mostly in pretty busy walmarts. Online shopping is a lifesaver, btw.

But when I still go in person, I just walk in like normal. Never really encountered any weird looks, and for sure nobody has said anything.

It's easier than you think. It stressed me out for awhile, but I got over it. If you really need cover, buy some men's socks, underwear or shirts, and if you think somebody's gonna say something, say "we're out here on vacation, forgot a few essentials."

[Stephanie47]

Molly, once in Kohls, in male mode, in the lingerie section shopping for panties I had an older women tell me I was in the wrong section. I said, no I'm not. End of conversation.

That's the bull crap that floats around from non-accepting people; stick their nose in where it does not belong. She was not trying to be "helpful." She was giving out political commentary. The worst stare I ever got when shopping for a fem garment occurred when I was standing in line at a Fred Meyer (Kroger) with a vivid red Vanity Fair bra in my hand. Even though it was Christmas time a guy gave me such a hostile stare I've never forgotten; almost "How dare you ever hold a bra in your hand!" I took it as I was attacking the masculinity of the world by holding a bra.

[Molly Wells]

Stephanie,
Your post reminded me of an occasion a few years back. I was shopping at Wal Mart, in male mode, and had selected some make up, jewelry and some panties as well as a couple of clothing items. I was not as comfortable shopping then as I am today and rarely went out. As I was checking out an older man was in line behind me and made some comment about a man buying that stuff. I was embarrassed and know I turned red but made my purchases and went on. I do remember several people looking when he made his comments. He made it seem as though I was committing a terrible wrong. I recognize today it was his stupidity and narrow mind.

Shop On!!

Molly

[bre]

Hi Stephanie,
Most of us have probably experienced harshness when shopping ranging from harsh looks to harsh words. I am no way in a position to pass so I try to shop in male mode as a gentleman. I don't try to hide from narrow-minded people, but I do try to avoid them by focusing my shopping to establishments that are welcoming at least of my patronage and hopefully welcoming to me as an individual. I have found many establishments that fall into that category and I plan to visit several tomorrow.

[Natalie5004]

When I go to the ladies section I am in full Natalie mode. I do not care who sees me. Or what they say. But I never had a bad comment. I did stop in CVS once and I was wearing a tank top and cute shorts as Natalie. I thought the store would be relatively quiet. Boy was I wrong. I was in line to check out with 5 other men between 30 and 45. I felt myself break out in a sweat. But being in CA, nothing was said.

[Jessica S]

I don't shop around my home but I always do it in guy mode. Besides shopping at the department stores I will shop at stores that just cater to women clothes. I will even ask to try on things. I am a pretty stout guy and no way can I pass. Most of the time I don't have any issues even if the SA is going out of her way by asking "SIR SIR do you need help SIR!" That is the SA I will make sure to ask if I can try something on. Just to see the look on her face. But as Molly said, once in a while I will be shopping and all of a sudden I will get anxiety. A lot of times if there, all of sudden, a child present.

[Lisa516]

What Suzanne said,

I just want to be comfortable and the more comfortable I am the easier it is and others around me seem to recognize my comfortability. Something like that!

[Jessica Secret]

Great topic Molly, I am not 'out' yet but I have always loved shopping for lingerie in store. Early on in my shopping days I would say it was for a girlfriend but eventually I decided to tell the SA that I was a CD and was looking for something for a romantic night with my boyfriend. Each of the SAs who came up to me were very nice and helpful, suggested something beautiful, and the feeling was exhilarating.

[valerie anne]

One problem of shopping in store is the bewildering array of bras, panties, shapewear, suspenders etc. on display.

I was looking for a soft bralette with no underwire, but I was confronted by walls of outsize support bras, sports bras, F cup plunge bras, strapless bras, full cup bras, minimiser bras etc.

Even if you can negotiate this Maginot line of underwear, it's difficult to be certain if the bra you desire is exactly what you want.

But online, you can see the bra being modelled, you can see the band fastening, the cleavage and the strap buckles.

[Claire M]

First time: I was standing just outside the lingerie department at Nordstrom when a coworker and his wife walked by and he nodded to me. I did a major blush. It was around Christmas and a few weeks later the guy commented he thought it was pretty cool for a guy to buy his wife nice lingerie for a present.

Wosrst: I was in drab in Target shopping for panties when a group of junior high girls came over. One of them pointed at me and said very loudly "thats a guy over there .. thats SOOO creepy!!" Then each of the others added a similar comment. It just caught me off.

Latest: I was at Kohls en femme looking for a nightgown. A 50ish lady was pushing a shopping cart with a toddler sitting in it while her 30ish daughter was perusing the sleepwear racks as well. As I walked past, the lady burst out laughing. Once past her she said to the toddler and her daughter "Nothing ....gramma just thought of something really funny".

Best: Shopping at Kohls en femme when a lady asked me whether one top looked better than another witb a skort she had in her hand. Soon an SA joined the conversation. We solved the first lady's dilemma and then they helped me pick out a cute outfit as well!!

People will talk ... just go with it.

[Maria 60]

Wow! I thought I was the only one. I believe with me it was being brainwashed at a young age. I'm going to go back to when there was only one car in the family and we would all go shopping together. When we would hit that big department store the boys would go one way and the girls would go the other. My father would tell me that we don't go there, we go to the sports and men department. Still till today when I enter the women's department I feel like all the women are stairing at me. Once my wife dared me to get a pair of pantyhose for myself, when I got to the section there was a lady there and I chickened out. I don't know I would really like to overcome this because I think I would really enjoy doing some fem shopping myself.

[Sallee]

I always wonder about a woman in the mens section What ARE they doing there :doh:

[Davinnia]

Nobody else can really know the reason a guy is shopping in the women's section unless you make it obvious. A man might be buying for an SO who is in hospital, disabled, hates shopping or any number of reasons. We should be able to shop in any department without fear or confrontation.

[Crissy 107]

I was talking to an SA at Macys in the lingerie department, unfortunately our Macys closed, and she said they can always spot a guy shopping for himself. This SA was very helpful and nice but my point is to just try and own it and you may be surprised how much fun it can be and how easy

[Davina2833]

Hi Crissy,

Totally agree with you.

Davina

[Leelou]

I always enjoy this topic when it comes up and have enjoyed reading all the great replies. I started buying women's clothes in person as soon as I was out of my folks' house. This was pre-internet and it was really my only option if I wanted my own women's clothes--and I certainly did! They say necessity is the mother of invention, so I invented some courage and just dove in. I began with panties and sleepwear as that's where my crossdressing interests started. I was a little nervous at first like most, but powered through and just did it. The only time I had a customer or SA say anything about me buying girly stuff was when a SA asked me if the panties were for me when I was checking out. The tone was playful teasing and not mean at all. I just laughed it off and said no it was for a GF. I even joked by saying something like she must have had guys buy her clothes. I still don't think she bought it but it really was kind of a sweet interaction and I got what I came in for.

Later in life when my crossdressing interests developed into fully dressing, I started buying women's outerwear in department stores and always bought in guy mode. It took a while until I felt comfortable trying stuff on in store as that removed all doubt that I was buying for me. But I'm fully there now and my favorite dresses are ones that I've tried on and fit perfectly. I'm comfortable now asking an SA to let me into the changing room with an armful of dresses.

[SarahLynn]

Back before I retired and I was driving truck I often went to thrift stores for clothes, especially when I was looking for clothes to wear while greasing the truck's zerks. I'd buy jeans and a shirt which didn't cost much and maybe wear them twice or even three times then throw them away as they were too greasy to keep. Now most men don't give their old jeans to a thrift store like women do so I seldom was able to find cheap men's jeans, but the ladies racks were usually full so once I learned my size in women's pants, I'd get a couple of pairs. At three or four dollars for a pair of jeans to grease the truck and a couple more for a shirt or blouse, men's or women's, I was happy to have throwaway outfits.

Once in a while I'd find a really great looking pair of shorts and a blouse and buy them too. Not once in the 18 years I drove a truck did I have anyone comment on my purchase in the stores. I did encounter one "ugly" comment when I was in a shoe store buying a pair of wedge sandals. Some young girls 16-18 yo commented about my sizing them (not trying them on but placing them next to my shoes) to my feet. About two seconds later the lady I was shopping with came up and asked if they would fit her. I replied, "I think so, but you'd better try them on." I did buy them and wear them when we were on a run together and she wanted to know how well they fit me. She knew they were for me.

[Davina2833]

Maria,

Try this, go for a bra fitting and have them set you up in a room...if you are in the SE US try SOMA,
they are quite trans friendly,crossdressers...

Davina

[Juliet E]

I am more apprehensive going into the lingerie section. Once I am in there it seems like a little different world and I don’t have as much concern.

[Michelle Isgurly]

In my opinion there shouldn't be any feelings of shame at all. I go to the woman's section all the time in drab. I go alone and/or with my SO. I really don't think anyone really cares.
Hell, I even get my panty liners, feminine spray, makeup, nail polish etc. No one really pays attention; maybe just a quick glance but no weirded out looks or cares. Just my 2 cents.

[CDMargret]

I have found that if I dress in Sunday best boy mode and shop directly like some men like to, ya know get in grab it get out, no one cares or looks funny at me. SA are so helpful asking me shopping for someone special. I like to say her birthday is coming up. Of course shopping lingerie close to valentines day is the best excuse ever for a fella to be in there.

[RachelB.]

Back when Avenue had brick and mortar locations I was a frequent visitor. When they were closing I went in looking for bargins. There were several young girls in the store and one made a comment about this being a women's store rather loudly. I had known the manager for several years at this point and I had a couple of tops I had pickout. She came over, grabbed the tops, and said loudly Let me start you a dressing room. I replied Thank You and selected some items and went to the dressing room. When I came out the girls were gone and the manager came over, apologized if she had embarrassed me and said she wanted to teach the rude b****** a lesson. We had a great laugh and she gave me a nice discount on my purchase.

[Judy-Somthing]

The last two times I went dress shopping I also got the "man in the ladies section feeling" and left abruptly.
Not a good feeling.

[tbryant2k16]

Women walking around and purchasing clothes in the Men's section, no one bat's an eye.
Men walking around and purchasing clothes in the Women's section, everyone looses their minds.

[JohnH]

I usually buy my bras online and I have a natural cup size of DD. If I shop in a brick and mortar store for a bra it's plain i need the item with my bust. So I'm not bashful at all being in the ladies' section.

[Deborah G]

It amazes me the range of reactions one may elicit by merely looking thru a rack of lingerie! I am always heartened by the women who offer assistance, but there is an equal number who are more than happy to give me "the look"; one benefit of getting older is that I now realize that life is too short to be concerned about the latter!

[TAG]

Some people should mind their own business.
I never paid attention to people like that and nobody should.
Cute little thing happened in Kohls a few days ago I was shopping and there was a man in the womens dress section and he asked me for my opinion.
He said ma'am excuse me but which of these dresses look best and he held them up to his body.
I thought for a second and said both would look fabulous on you so why not get both?
He seemed to be at a loss for words which was so adorable.
He said thats a great idea thanks for your help.
I never mentioned I was 24/7 semi transitioned.

[Molly Wells]

I've been really busy and haven't been on in a while. Needless to say I haven't been able to dress in a while either. With summer here and kids are out of school the ops are few. However my granddaughter is gone to her dads for a couple of weeks, her mom and my wife are both working a lot and I work from home. This will allow me to plan a Molly day to get out and about for a while, probably next week. In preparing for the upcoming day I am thinking of buying a new summer dress and I need some new shoes. I'll probably go shopping in guy mode for the these items so I can go out en femme. How ironic. So, here's to an upcoming guy mode shopping trip to be followed by a day en femme. Got to love it.

Molly

[Christie ann]

But that is my favorite section of the store.

[Kelli_cd]

I agree with Deborah, life's too short for me to worry about it. I'll shop where I please, thank you very much.

[Joanne108]

I have been asked it that for you or your wife? My reply is, 'maybe.'

[Lacey New]

I?ve purchased lingerie, primarily panties, in dozens of different stores quite literally all over the US and never had any kind of hassle except one time when I bought three pairs of panties, one white, one pale blue and one pink, the SA kept saying, ?Blue is for boys, pink is for girls? loud enough for other customers to hear. Other than that, the SAs have typically been quite helpful pointing out sales and even telling me, ?You know, if you buy three, you get a fourth pair for free, go back and get another pair, I?ll wait.?. Then when they look at the sizes and styles and I pay in cash and I don?t have a rewards card, then they pretty much know who the items are for.

[Bobbi46]

The way I look at it is that on special days Vanentines day and so forth men go and but womens things for theit wives GF's and so forth and nothing ever happens so there should not be problem any other time. The way to go is use the same shop over a period of time and when you get know a little bit you can admit that bra, panties and whatever else is for you, I can guarantee younthat once that fact is known you will get untold amounts of help. This has happened to me and now I have several shops I can go into and be myself.
Courage in the beginning is what is needed.

[jacques]

hello Molly,
I love shopping. I can get nervous about being "the man in the ladies section", so I have to keep practicing!
Buying men's clothes confuses me now, because I don't understand the sizing!
Though the reality is that shop owners and sales assistants just care about making a sale, rather than wondering why we are buying that bra or dress!
luv J

[Tiffany355]

Going out of town tomorrow and for the 1st time I?ll be shopping at a giant mall only for Tiffany. I?m a bit nervous but also in ?I don?t care? mode.

Someone here said what?s a guy doing in the multipacks of panties? Lol. I guess it?s that obvious then maybe i should just own it and shop comfortably.

[Molly Wells]

Well, I finally made it out for some shopping, not once but twice. Both times I was in guy mode. I went JC Penneys on the first trip. I was looking for and selected a maxi dress with sleeves. (My arms are too noticeable as a man's arms). I decided while I was there to get a new waist cincher and bra. I spent maybe an hour looking and deciding what I wanted. I never got any looks or negatives, nor was I overly concerned. I usually prefer to have a lady SA when I check out but as luck would have it my SA was a young guy. He never batted an eye but was friendly and took care of me with no apparent issues or concerns.
A couple of days later I stopped at Macy's, again in guy mode. I was looking for a long skirt and top. I shopped around a while and found what I was looking for in the clearance section. Again at check out a young guy and a young girl in training. No issues, looks or comments.
Just to show again, people don't care. Just be natural, shop for what you want and don't worry about it.

I hope to get out in femme one day next week in one of my new outfits. I try to get a pic and post when I do!

Molly329981

[Davina2833]

Molly,

you are so right, most of the time no one care. Just act like you belong there.

Davina

[ScientiaMetallum]

Granted I doubt I will ever be able to pass so it is more about attitude, but again, I could never do it in my community, only in cities farther away.

If your avatar is a picture of yourself, you 100% pass. Judging by the door in the background, you seem quite tall, but there are some tall women (both cis and trans). Height makes it harder to pass, but not impossible by itself.

I apologise if it's a picture of your wife or someone else.

[Molly Wells]

Sci,
No apologies needed and yes that is me. Thank you so much for the compliment. Of course that pic was selected as a rare pic that looked decent. Many many others have hit the trash bin, LOL

Oh how many time as a guy I have wished to be taller, but as Molly I'm very happy with my height. I am 5'5" and feel like that works to my benefit when I present as Molly.
That behind me in the avatar is actually a picture. The angle and lighting put a glare on it. It does look kinda like a door. :)

Welcome to the forum.

Molly

[Mary Loo]

ScientiaMetallum,

I know Molly logically thought your post (#117) was to her since the last several messages in this thread were, but since I can tell by the context of your message and including the clip from my prior post in this thread that you are asking me, I need to sadly confess ( as I have in multiple places on the board ) that no, my Avatar is FaceApp enhanced. I am not trying to fool anyone, just not comfortable posting a completely real picture on here yet. It makes me look about 20+ years younger than I am and considerably more attractive. If I could look like that I probably would go out in public, but in reality am still very much closeted.

And yes, I am taller than a vast majority of most women. I will have a harder time than some to be able to blend. Not sure if and when I will ever get to trying. Until then I will just be on here reading about others? adventures.

[ScientiaMetallum]

Sorry Molly, I was indeed replying to Mary Loo.

Mary Loo: I've also found myself wishing I could look like my faceapp-enhanced pictures. Even the ones with only the gender swap filter on and no other alterations.

Good idea for an avatar, I might do the same thing.

[daphne g]

I was in a shop in London with my so a few years back,shopping for the so and not for me
And my so went to try something on and left me alone with a handful of garments.then a salesgirl came by and asked quite naturally
If I?d like to try those on
I thought that was great but just said no I?m waiting for the wife
I have been shopping in that chain when in England since and have been made welcome

[Molly Wells]

Mary Lou and ScientiaMetallum,
Yes, I see the post was to Mary Lou and I have to agree. Mary Lou, you do look great!
But...now I'm crushed:(
Just joking, :)
Hugs,
Molly

[marieclaire]

I avoid going into the lingerie section when there are women there.
I try to wait until they're gone.

[ChubbyLeahCD]

Every time I got to Target or Walmart that has multiple sections like that, when I?m in the ladies section I feel my heart rate increasing, my face blushing. It feels all eyes are on me. Fear of being seen as a creep or maybe that someone figures me out and then will remember me later and may see me out and about with my wife and say ?hey your husband likes to be girlie?.
Lately I?ve been buying a ton of stuff from Torrid. I made an account under Leah?s name and ship to store. So I got and say I?m picking up for Leah or if there are a lot of people in, I say I?m there to pick up something for my wife.

[Sandrajiggle]

So many experiences, so many positives. I'm moved to comment.

Genuinely buying for my wife last Christmas. I felt like MITLS, an assistant approached me. We kept it polite and found a lovely piece as a present.
It felt so safe and accepting that I was tempted to admit that I dressed. But that would be a betrayal to both ladies.
I'm glad I didn't push it.
I've only once been openly outed and teased politely by a pair of girls in a charity shop. I was discreetly browsing but they both circled me becoming very helpful. ( That scene in Harry Enfield polish cafe scene) we couldn't find a black chiffon blouse in my size so I bought a belt. Would you like to try it on? They asked.
I've gone into shops and known immediately that I wasn't welcome. Nice old ladies that work in charity shops know about our sort.
I've gone into charity shops and seen a warm look that accepts that I am another needy soul requiring a little compassion.
I've been approached by a very normal looking male shop assistant while buying makeup. He wanted me to give him makeup advice. No more I believed. That was an episode that went wrong.

It struck me recently that I actually felt a bit self conscious buying bulk packs of men's breifs in a supermarket.
It's really just something in my own head.

[DianeT]

I used to worry about what other people thought when I?d shop in the women?s department in guy mode. Nobody gives a second thought to women shopping in the men?s department, so why should we really be worried, I also no longer care what anyone else thinks.
Nobody gives a second thought when a lady is in the men's section because, for one, a lady in the men's section is generally shopping for a husband too lazy to do it himself, and two, it's a bit uncommon to see women acting as pervs in the men's section, while it happens regularly the other way around. Let's be realistic, there is no double standard here. Just simple facts of a woman's life that the average male simply has no idea about.
If, in male mode (always when I'm out), I sense that I am annoying a lady in the eponymous section, I back out, not because I'm not legitimate there, I am, but just because I don't want her to stress while picking undies or whatever. On the other hand, I don't think any male ever got a sweat because a lady was scouting the racks next to him.
This is very akin to the male/female point of view discussion in a recent thread from Patience. Males, CDers or not, don't seem to be able to see the world with a woman's eyes, which in my opinion explains all these "double standards" comments.

[il.dso]

Decades of anxiously wandering through the wonderful women's section of department stores.
I loved being surrounded by such pretty clothes!
Mustering the courage to look at the dresses and lingerie.
Finding must have items, going to the checkout, averting my eyes.
Never easy, but certainly no choice or other options pre-internet.
Now, rarely shop in public, buy my clothes online.
Better and worss, like much in life...

[Jillcder]

Five years ago I was very nervous now the only time I move out of the ladies section is if kids are present. Once while browsing the dress racks with a few other ladies one of them looked at me said said in loud voice aren?t in the wrong area I just smiled and said heck no!

[Annajose]

For me, since I only have been out fully dressed a couple of times, most of my buying is done while in my normal androgynous mode. I somehow just don't pay attention to what happens around me, so I browse and I pick, and I try (shoes) in open public, like anybody else.
So I guess is just practice, actually, when I did it fully dressed, I was in general more alert and conscious, but this was, I think, for being out, fully dressed.
Part of the adventure.
Anna

[Patience]

Once while browsing the dress racks with a few other ladies one of them looked at me said said in loud voice aren?t in the wrong area I just smiled and said heck no!Good for you. I hope that shut up the old bat.

Of course, the best way to avoid that kind of talk it to always be crossdressed when you shop. :D

[Bea_]

I've been working with a therapist and recently moved from other issues to talk about my crossdressing. I've been going to the sessions dressed androgynously and she's been supportive. The sessions have been a trigger to get me moving away from just complaining about the complications to a point of taking small steps. In fact, at a recent session she finally just laid it out and said "We can talk about how difficult this all is forever and there will never be any improvement if you don't take steps to rectify the situation".

I'd already called a local lingerie shop that specializes in bra fittings and asked if they did fittings for men. The proprietor was very helpful and even offered to allow me to come in before the shop opened and that's what I'd planned to do. But, just after my therapist basically called my bluff, I decided to go get fitted for a bra straight from the session. I was in a pink man's polo shirt over some very flowery yoga pants with my bright orange toenails and women's sandals. That's a first for me.

The owner quickly assessed my size (40A) and gave me a few bras close to that size to try on. I picked a nice blue lace underwire bra out of the first batch and was ready to check out. She led me out of the fitting room through some curtains leading to the small showroom. As soon as the curtain opened there stood a somewhat attractive fifty-something lady. After a split second of assessing the situation, a deer-in-the-headlights look came over her face. The proprietor asked if she needed help and the lady just said "You can take care of him first". I followed the owner to the register and the woman just became totally flustered and instead of just waiting the minute and a half for me to be checked out just blurted out "I tell you what, I have another appointment and I'll come back by later" and took off out the door.

The encouraging thing for me is that I didn't get flustered or bothered by her response. It was just surreal. I can't imagine that i seemed like a threat to anyone so I really don't know what the issue was. Very interesting outing.

[Jennifer03]

I appreciate you sharing that experience. I was just talking with another person today about controlling only what we can. Your demeanor was great because you were there for you and the owner was really great about it. The problem was her's alone. Keep being you.

[HollyGreene]

I have never really felt uncomfortable in the lingerie section. I have bought gifts from that department for various girlfriends or my wife for years.
So things that go in my shopping basket could be for my wife or for me -who is going to know?
As it happens, she and I wear the same size panties, so it's debatable who they are for until I get home and decide who is going to get them!

[Natali]

I can only manage to buy in person when I am traveling for work, thats not to often since COVID-19. But just this week I walked into Next, picked a black tailored pencil skirt, browsed the stocking, the only large black pair had a tare in the package so passed on those. All this in guy mode. Non of this just buying for the wife, just keep the conversation to a minimum. Wish I had the courage to try stuff on as well. But one step at a time.

[Olivia J. Robinson]

When I started making fem purchases, I was also quite shy. My little coping strategy was to have a list on my phone that was labeled something like "lost the bet", or "to be picked up for <female name>.
<shrug> my 2cents' worth...

[Sallee]

I am sure they notice but generally I don't think it registers and they certainly don't care

[kateydoe]

Someone may have replied this already. I do all my browsing and list making on line. Then I take my list and go to the store. I already know the location of the item so I just go in and place it in my cart. I may have to spend an extra few minutes if I see something cute on the clearance rack.