Long Hiatus Do I Belong Here?

[Jamie001]

I have been away from this website/forum for many years. The reason that I left is because I felt that I am an enigma that didn't belong here. I would describe myself as a feminine male. I incorporate various feminine looks into my presentation such as a colored feminine hairstyle, always wearing a woman's purse, in the warmer months wearing women's low-heel sandals with professionally pedicured red toenails and toe rings. I also sometimes wear women's capri pants, women's exercise pants, women's flats, and sometimes pantyhose.

I describe myself as simply a male that enjoys feminine things. I have no desire to pass as a woman and always check the "male" box when applications or medical records ask for gender. I am not into sports except for tennis and enjoy a lot of feminine activities such as Yoga, shopping for cute shoes, and having great conversation with women. Essentially I am the male equivalent of a Tomboy. I have women friends that are total Tomboys and are married with children. They do not identify as transgendered and I also should not have to identify as transgendered. Essentially I am proud to be a sissy male and the word that I use to describe myself is a "Janegirl". If I get mistaken for a women because of my purse, painted toenails, and hairstyle, I am totally fine with that. On the other hand, if I am seen as the male that I really am, I am also fine with it. Think about Harry Styles. He just wants the freedom to wear what he wants without being labeled.

I also do not identify as non-binary because I think of my self as a male, albeit a feminine Janegirl male. Many years ago when I was last on this forum, I really felt out of place and couldn't connect with a lot of folks here especially those gurls that have two distinct modes, completely male or completely female. Unfortunately, I even got into some heated discussions and disagreements that I am sorry for. I respect these gurls, but I have one mode only and that is me being a feminine male.

I am wondering if there are any others people on this forum that identify in the manner that I described above. If not, then it is probably best for me to move on from here again.

Thanks for listening,

Jamie

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Jamie

Its good to see you come back.
In answer to your question yes you do belong here.

Not everyone's presentation is the same.

Myself I don't personally like the word sissy, but you obviously seem happy with it.

[Gillian Gigs]

If you are happy dressing like, Annie Oakley, Wyatt Earp, Spock, or Lady Gaga, go for it. Everyone should have the freedom of self expression coming short of nudity, for the sake of children. I identify as a guy who likes lingerie, hosiery, and skirts. It sounds to me like you have aways fit in, you just have to be aware that some on this site are more radical, and think they are correct. You just have to ignore their thoughts and comments. Welcome back.

[Maid_Marion]

Hi Jamie,

I am also OK with either identification. I enjoy golf, cooking, shopping, and gardening.

I haven't changed my name IRL but often get IDed as a women because I'm small and petite, wear heels, and paint my nails pink. Nobody at work has complained about the way I dress.
My hair reaches halfway down my back.

Marion

[docrobbysherry]

I think there's a word that describes u to a "T", Jamie: Crossdresser!

Me, too. While I don't dress like u, I may feel a bit like u. A male who likes to dress up and present female. Completely binary in my head!:battingeyelashes:

[Jean 103]

Simply yes, there are others here like you.

I tend to ignore all the labels. Besides they're not how you see yourself, they're how other people see you.

I'm different , I'm out, I live in the real world. My friends never use labels, they never come up at all, ever. I'm simply Jean.

[Natalie5004]

Yes, and we do not fight here. The Admin staff keep things totally under control and I thank them for that.

[nancy58]

Jamie,

Welcome back. My attitude is summed up in "Whatever floats your boat." I am a closeted crossdresser who fantasizes about having gender-confirming surgery, but I spend nearly all my time presenting as male and sometimes go months without thinking about dressing up. I would have a hard time living as you do, but I admire you for having the courage to live on your own terms. I believe that participants here run the gamut, and that's OK. I hope you will find us worth your while.

[Crissy 107]

I say you are one of us so you might as well stick around and join in.

[Aka_Donna]

What, belong? Who belongs any more? Don't like jargon labels. You'll see my out with a purse for the past 5+ years. Sometimes wear pinkish nail polish and have told my nails look great by women. Latest mixture was cowboy hat with diamond studs and a purse. Naturally in the evening I'm usually in female attire. What's the label for this? Who cares? Not me. There is just too much division today by bogus labels and name calling incited by political junkies.

I don't know if I ever want to go out in totally femine mode, even on a far offsite locale.

If you want discussions about:
-- wearing femine attire,
-- relationship discussions,
-- conversations about things males don't discuss,
-- etc

, well then partner you belong. If you want to fight and swabble or feel you have to transition to discuss anything, then you don't belong.

Been here a long time, but poor memory so don't recall your previous posts. Thank you for your inviting post...

[Pumped]

This is a cross dressing forum. No where does it say you have to present as a women. There are other members here that make no attempt to hide the fact the are male. Have you not heard the term MIAD? Man in a dress?

I don't dress 100%. The neck up is too much work. I like to get the neck down as female appearing as possible, at least most of the time. Many times I dress and it will be a woman's top, panties, woman's jeans and high heels.

If you like clothing belonging to the opposite gender you belong here~

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

You are not alone. As my name suggests, I'm a guy. My anatomy and my DNA will confirm as much, and the prettiest dress in the world won't change that.

Last night we went to our favorite sports bar. If anyone noticed my purple toenails or my toe ring they hid it from me. I also hope someone DID notice in the hopes that the more people see such things in public, such things will become "normal".

Janegirl, Tomboy. I like it!

[Jane G]

Great to read your post. You sound like you have found your self and are just getting on with a normal life. It just happens you enjoy a more feminine look than most males. That has to fit in perfectly on these pages. Welcome back.:daydreaming:

[ziggie]

Welcome back Jamie - As you can already see, you have a number of like souls here. Hang around a while and get to know folk.

[Annajose]

Hi, good to have you back, I am a lot like you, I have to admit I would like to do more, but there are other people in my life that I like to take in consideration, so I include a lot of feminine clothing, shoes, painted nails and toenails, when I can, at other times I tone it down as to not overwhelm my loved wife, but is very selfim that I go 100% male or 100% female.
I think we both belong here!

[GretchenM]

Welcome back, Jamie. I am another that is a bit like you. I suspect in 2005 when you joined things were different in a lot of ways. Even 10 years ago when I came out things were very different than they are now. I recall getting the feeling that if I was not headed for transition I was just lying to myself. Now, our variations are well recognized and generally well accepted. And it appears to be becoming even more so as more and more give up the labels game and just be themselves. I respect and admire those who have transitioned, but I am not one of them by nature - we can still get along.

The term "transgender" has become so garbled it is hard to tell exactly what it is. Clinically, it is a person who self identities, all of the time or part of the time, as the opposite gender from that which they were assigned at birth based upon their sex. Take that apart and you find yourself with a can of worms spilled on the floor. Worked great back in the days of wide acceptance of gender being binary - male and female and a vast emptiness in between where a few crazies hang out. Still is that way in most of the world, but things are changing quickly and Western Civilization is catching up with some other parts of the world where binary gender was never even thought of. And a lot of that change is occurring by means of ignoring labels and accepting people, in all their flavors, for who they are.

We are still a small minority of the total population, but are more "accepted" (don't confuse that with Accepted - it hasn't gone that far - YET). To me one of the best pieces of evidence of some degree of social acceptance is the development of groups of more traditional people that are pushing back against the spread of individualistic, non-traditional gender identity and expression. To me, that is OK so long as nobody gets pushy and demands that people that are more or less in our camp become like them. Self righteousness on either or any side is not welcome. Freedom and respect must always be present, but it must be implemented responsibly and fairly.

You said "Thanks for listening." I hear you and it appears a lot have heard you loud and clear.

[StephanieLake]

Add me to the "I'm like you" list. I have no desire to "pass" or transition, I just like women's clothing. Although I have thought about having a makeup session, just to see what I would look like. I'm gradually adding female pants and tops to my wardrobe. My plan is to only buy those styles, hopefully my wife will buy them for me too. I have always connected more with girls/women then men. I've never been in to sports and feel out of place talking about then with other guys.

Bottom line, yes you (we) belong here.

[ellbee]

These threads always bring us out of the woodwork! :wave2:


Only once in a blue moon these days do I look like my avatar.

99.99999% of the time, outside of work? I'm "guy-moding" it... Some or (usually) all women's stuff, yet still presenting as a guy.

"Femmy-male" is another term, I guess. :battingeyelashes:


I wear what many GG's wear -- yet I do it in my own way, on some levels.

Most people have been pretty cool with it, men & GG's, alike.

It's also "forced" me to be more friendly, sociable, outgoing... Not the easiest thing for a pretty hard-core introvert.

Why? Because I don't want to be looked at & treated as "that weird quiet guy who wears women's clothes."


As a result, for example? I live in a large apartment complex, and I've definitely gotten to chat & interact with my neighbors over time, developing little "mini-relationships" with them. So many of them have become friendlier & warmer towards me as I've really stepped up my femmy-male game the past 6 months or so... Treating me not as a guy, not as a GG -- but something more closer to the latter, anyway. Pretty cool! :GD:


So, yeah. You definitely belong here. ;)

Welcome back! :yippee:

[Valerie Louise]

Lots of support here, as you see from the responses. For me, I wish I could be as bold as you. I wear a bra frequently, have my toe nails painted, but you are living a fantasy I have. I'd like to go to yoga in yoga pants and a tight top as the women do, but alas, not going to happen. I suspect, if any negative reaction exists here, its envy.

[Lana Mae]

Welcome back, Jamie!
I am a pre-op transwoman! My saying is be yourself what ever form that takes! I like that you have "Let yourself, Be yourself!"
Best wishes on your journey!
Hugs Lana Mae

[joank]

This is a very welcoming site for most variances of female dress. Most importantly, it is a safe place. You are welcome here.

[Raychel]

I will say that you are definitely welcome. There are all different styles of dressing. Do what you feel most comfortable with.

[DianeT]

Hi Jamie, there used to be heated discussions here. It's been calmer for a while now and we can enjoy more peaceful and benevolent talks. The site is named crossdressers something but it gathers all kinds of people crossing the traditional gender lines. Depending on your profile you may find a varying number of people here sharing your particular interests or life style. You definitely have your seat here. Welcome back.

[delta47]

If a few people are doing and it’s cool
It’s fashion
If you’re doing it and don’t give a shit if it is cool
I’ts style

[Karren H]

The big question is why did you leave last time and has anything changed? I left for almost 4 years and came back. Finally found my old password! Lol Seems like nothing had changed here at all. Personally, you can fit into anyplace you want to, no mater if there are others like you or not. I enjoy being the outlier on some of the forums that I have participated in. As long as there was some shared interest and people were cordial to me. Even if I were the only cross dresser on a new site, making them accept me as part of the group, changed their reality to align more with mine. So hang around, jump into the conversations.

[Kris Burton]

I have heard there was a time when it was rather rugged here. In the eight months I have been aboard, a total crossdressing neophyte with probably a lot of repetitive questions, I have experienced nothing but welcome and inclusion. I'd say you are in a real good place, and it will be great to hear your voice and perspective.

[MonicaPVD]

"Do I belong here?" Your post is a pretty long-winded, roundabout way of asking a question only you can answer. Do what the rest of us have done for years, observe, learn. If you like it, stay. You are and always will be welcome here. If you don't, leave. Simple.

[Sandi Beech]

Jamie,

- Just a thought. Since you seem to have a strong sense of self, why not hang around and represent those of us who are underserved? You may cause some of the casual lurkers who feel the same to join up. You might help someone who lacks your degree of confidence.

Despite our similarities, we really are pretty diverse bunch in my opinion. I suspect I am a bit of an outlier in some ways, since few do what I do. Still, I like it here. Besides, if not here then where?

Good luck to you whatever you do. Like others said, I also welcome you.

Cheers,

Sandi

[AllieBellema]

I'm just a quiet crossdressing male that enjoys wearing victorian or princess style dresses when I do present myself as female. Some dress up all the time, some just dress up on occasion. Some go out publicly all the time, some just stay closeted in their homes. Either way it's how you feel on if you belong here or not and it sounds like you do belong here by that description. Everybody has their level of enjoying this!

[Linda K.]

I am not sure of what this site was like back when you decided to leave, or the treatment you had gotten to cause you to stop visiting, because I have only been a member for less than a year. Natalie is right, the moderators here are diligent on keeping this forum respectful for everyone and I too am thankful for that. Since I have joined, I have made some real good friends here and everyone has been so supportive of me and my journey, which humbles me. I think you will find this a more welcome place than it was before.

For me, I don't see anyone here as a CD, TG, TS, Sissy, or whatever label that is out there for us. If you identify as one of those, I am okay with it, but I don't look at anyone with any of those labels. I am here to learn from others. I am here to get, and give, support to others. I am here in the hope of making friends, which I have. I hope you find that this site has changed for you and this is really the place to be for the support you are looking for. Welcome back and stay, I think you'll love it here!!

[P_Alexis]

I feel I am in the same boat as you Jamie. I enjoy wearing my women things but I am still a male through & through. I am a crossdresser that wears a combination of both sides of clothing. I will put it this way, on Friday I wore one of my women's short sleeve t-shirts to work with panties & men's jeans. When I left work I put on a bra, breast forms, & my 3 1/2 block heel boots to go run some errands. Welcome back. As previously mentioned you are going to always get people that are really one sided. It is what it is.

[Beverley Sims]

All positive replies here, I still try outrageous outfits to wear, some I like and others I wonder what others might think of me dressed as some deviant.

That thought is basically my own and what we do we do to satisfy our curiosity.

What ever you think you are, the way you describe yourself you certainly fit in and should discuss your adventures with others here so as we realise we are all like minded.