Advice needed for first presentation

[Heather76]

Okay, I'm thinking of doing something really stupid. But, it all depends upon 1 thing - finding shoes. In a woman's shoe I wear a size 12. I'm going to head to an outlet mall and hope the Torrid outlet has what I want - or something close. IF I find shoes (their web site indicates I should), I'll head to Claire's for clip on earrings, a basic necklace, a bracelet, and a ring or 2.

My wife is heading out of town Tuesday night and won't return until Wednesday night. I'm actually thinking about going out fully dressed. About 25 miles from our home are 2 LGBT friendly bars. I don't drink, I have hearing issues (deaf in 1 ear), and have a difficult time conversing in noisy environments. I think the bars are a no go for me. However, where I live is a resort/tourist area. In the same town where the bars are located is a large planned development with waterfront parks and concrete walks. It is well lit with no private areas. It is all out in the open and normally has people walking, jogging, etc. I'm thinking about getting my Heather together and going for a stroll in the park. It will have to be after the sun sets as there is no way Heather can pull out my driveway in the daylight. Also, since it will be dark out with only street lights, my markup errors won't scare dogs and little children.

Shoe advice needed. Do I stick with flats or go for pumps with a 1" block heel? I've never worn a heel of any kind. I will likely wear 1 of the 2 dresses below. I'm leaning toward the black one as I won't shave my arms and the sleeves will hide the hair better should I encounter anyone face to face. What's your take on dress choices? BTW, I have a new wig arriving Monday that I believe I'll be happier with than my first 2 purchases. I will be wearing it. It is shoulder length and brown. Along with the wig, I have 3 pairs of Hanes Silk Reflections thigh highs arriving. If I wear the black dress, I'll wear "jet" shade of hose. If I wear the yellow dress, I'll go with the "barely there" shade. To avoid any hosiery issues, I'm sure I'll use a garter belt, too.

Anyway, I don't know if I can go thru with this; but, I'm thinking I can and hoping I will.

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[Connie D50]

Have fun good luck finding everything you want.

[Kris Burton]

Sounds like fun Heather - a pivotal moment even! Actually, I think the hose you are wearing with each outfit here is correct. The black might be a better, more practical alternative for the outing you plan although I think the yellow one is quite striking.

If you are going out walking and are inexperienced in heels, the flats are probably your better, more comfortable choice. You do not want your first outing to be compromised by foot discomfort. Still, it's worth a try on in the shoe store if you can to check out some low heels - many of them can be quite comfortable. Go with the block heel now - better balance I have found, and will improve your femme stride at least in the early go.

[Aunt Kelly]

If you are comfortable walking in the heels, feel free to go with those. Otherwise, go with flats. Wobbling around on heels is not something you want to have to deal with on your first outing. :)
Choose an outfit that is age and venue appropriate and go have fun!

[Jenn A116]

Hope you find the courage to carry through with your outing. I really like the outfit in the first picture for being out blending in. Agree withe the PP's that the flats would probably be best for your outing. That is as along as they are broken in.

Looking forward to hearing how it went.

[bridget thronton]

A 1 inch block heel is not much different that a flat for walking - I would choose the shoe you find that is most comfortable.

[Aka_Donna]

I don't like flats as they tend to have no support. A 1 inch block heel is like cowboy boots which have a 1 to 1.5 inch heel.
More important than height is do they fit width and length with no pinching of the toes and are broken in.

Do you have the option to wear pants and a tunic top? Out here few wear dresses for shopping. Just an observation.

[Helen_Highwater]

Heather,

Yellow dress; it's more suited to a GG of your age. Don't fret about the arm hair. As others have said, there's not much difference between a 1" block heel and flats. Of much greater importance is which is the most comfortable. Walking in new shoes any distance can be asking for trouble. You could consider setting out in the heels, have the flats in a bag and if you get too much discomfort, change shoes.

You have a plan, it seems well thought out so now all you need to do is execute it. Enjoy your time out.

[Natalie5004]

Flats are best for most women.

[GracieRose]

I suggest flats or a very modest (less than 1 inch) heel. You are more accustomed to walking without much heel, so your less likely to trip. Also, that is what most women wear. Better for blending.
If looking for shoes, try DSW. They often have a lot of marked down large sized shoes in their clearance section. Good luck. You look great. Keep your chin up, tits out, and SMILE.

[Valerie Louise]

Hi, so having just done an outing en femme in a store, the one thing that I'd recommend you practice before going out, is your walk. It relates to your shoes, sort of, but its more about your torso. When we are in guy mode, we think our walk is normal, but when in woman mode, it is a slouched over, hulking stride that you'd prefer not to have. Some good advice I got was to back up to a wall, and push shoulders, back of head, and your rear into it. You will find this unnatural, but its what one of the poster's meant by "tits out". You have to pull your shoulders back, and the shoulder blades down to get it right. Then, walk like that. If you are like me, that was a trick to make happen consistently. The Wall makes you pull the shoulders back and suck your gut in, plus get your head up. Frankly, I don't think a low heel or not, will matter.
After you get that to come a bit naturally, work on having the side to side space between your feet, as you walk, be less. You don't need to, and you shouldn't, put one foot directly in front of the other, but it needs to be closer than what you do now.
And finally, get your elbows in much closer to your body. You have to twist the arm slightly to get that to happen. Let the arms swing naturally. Do NOT try to sway the hips. Get all the above right first.
Practice this all the time. Anytime you are walking somewhere and can get away with it, walk like a woman.
You should try to have a grin on your face all the time - I'm not saying showing teeth, but I tend to have this grumpy expression on all the time. You gotta pick up the corners of the mouth.
I think the wig in the first photo, and the yellow dress, and no hose, would be a good look.

When you get out of the car, don't open the door and stop to see if you've been had - just go. If you encounter anyone, don't flinch. Just smile at them and keep going. No one cares (as I found out in my outing).
I found my experience exciting and fun, and I guarantee you will too. You go, you got this. You look great.

[docrobbysherry]

If I were u I'd head for the largest Goodwill or other thrift store in your area. They always seem to have some 12's in women's shoes which hang around forever!

You'll be able to try them on in male mode with no worries and they'll be a deal!

[Geena75]

First time out? Definitely flats -- one less concern on your mind. Also, no worry about a heel sinking into soft turf. Wedges might be an option if you can find them. I have two pair of size 12, both are comfortable and I got them at a local Meijer store (like a Michigan based Walmart). If you find a nice pair of heels, get them. I can almost never find heels in my size and price range.

[Heather76]

Well, I went to Torrids and 4 other stores. Do you all know how difficult it is to find women's size 12 shoes much less ones I could wear? The only ones I found were of the sandal variety. I've NEVER worn sandals as an adult because I hated them the few times I wore them as a child. I will go to the large mall Tuesday and find something that will work. I really want to do this. I believe rather than a block heel, what I'm actually looking for is more appropriately referred to as a pump. I just want to find a simple style in black. I will also take the suggestion of going to Goodwill. There are at least 4 of them within 15 miles of my home. My wife will likely leave home about 2 pm. That will give me 6 hours to locate the shoes, get home, apply makeup, and get dressed before I can think of going out. I do need it to be dark out when I leave home.

[Valerie Louise]

I just checked DSW online and they have a great selection of wedges in size 12, but it takes four to seven days to get to the store for pickup. None in stock at my store. Maybe check yours. Apply the filters, size 12, and ?pickup today?, and see if anything is there.
Also, you may need to check width. I?m a 10 Wide, and sometimes I can do a average 10, sometimes not.

[suzanne]

For your first outing, you want to be comfortable. This is not a time for experimenting with heels for the first time. The black outfit is low key but still very nice, and I suggest you pair it with the flats.

Over the years I've bought a LOT of shoes from Torrid. It practically the only place I can find shoes that fit. Right now, their online catalog shows very little that interests me, but in the past I've found tons of 3 inch wedges and 3 to 4 inch heels, so I'm well supplied until they bring out the next line, or the next. You get the picture. I just love how supportive Torrid is. Their staff wisely knows that it just doesn't matter how their customers present themselves. Don't hesitate to use their fitting rooms, and HAVE FUN.

[Heather76]

I will be going to a large mall in our area Tuesday afternoon. There are quite a few women's stores there as well as shoe stores. Surely I will find a pair of size 12W shoes somewhere. There is also a Claire's in the mall for a few accessories. The biggest downer I just found is the long range forecast for Tuesday night is a 75% chance of thunderstorms with up to 1" of rain. Why did I check that out??? Sunset is 7:40 p.m.; so, I won't even think about leaving home until 8:45 p.m. That will get me to the area I want to introduce to Heather at about 9:20 - 9:30. I really hope this forecast is wrong. If Heather doesn't get out Tuesday night, I've no idea when her next opportunity will present itself.

One thing I have been doing is checking out how older women carry themselves. Quite honestly, so many of them (my wife included) had joint issues that they walk much like a fullback. My wife, due to leg issues, walks almost like a penguin as she has a very pronounced limp. For those of you who enjoy golf, I will try to walk much like Fred Couples (pro golfer). I've always said he walks as though he has a cob up his (where the sun don't shine) which is to say it's a rather effeminate walking style. I believe I can pull that off with ease. Anyway, my point is women in their 60s and 70s do not generally walk like their younger counterparts due to knee and/or hip replacement, varicose veins, and a multitude of other leg issues.

[Linda K.]

I agree with Kris, go with the block heels especially if you never wore any before. I too have issues finding something in my size, also a size 11/12, so check Amazon for your size. They have quite a selection. For the black dress, I would choose pumps. For the yellow dress, I would choose open-toed sandals. However, it is your preference that matters here. Keep in mind the heel height and the stability. The skinnier the heel, the lower to the floor!! Good luck finding something and have fun!!!!

[MonicaPVD]

First of all, congratulations on deciding to take this important step.

Second, take this first step in flats. It's bad enough you will be nervous and probably a little paranoid. You don't need to be tripping over yourself trying to figure out heels.

Third, don't worry about covering up your arms. It will be dark and you will unmistakably look like a crossdresser. That is OK. It really is. Covering a little arm hair will do zero to change this fact.

Fourth, take a deep breath and just enjoy the moment. Don't overthink it. Just go.

[susanmichelle]

I?ve had so much trouble with ordering anything from torrid. I?ve tried to get both flats and or low heels on several occasions 3 times to be exact. All three times same thing refusals to finalize orders. So I finally gave up. I went to the only torrid store approximately 15 miles from my home. Each time I checked online and was told they had my size 13 WW and each time no luck. I actually wear a size 14 woman?s 12 mens. Only thing I can find is 4? and 5? heels pumps or strapped heels. Only thing about pumps I really like is being high like that makes my feet look smaller. But the downfall is I go from 6? to 6?4-6?5? in height.

[Heather76]

I'm doing a bit of homework. In the mall I plan on visiting, there is a SHOE DEPT. store. In looking thru women's shoes, I found a pair of black casual shoes with a 1" block heel and very reasonably priced (under $25.00). Best part is their web site shows it to be in stock. I am so anxious to go there tomorrow afternoon. I will wear my male drab outer clothes, minus socks. I will have thigh high nylons and a garter belt on so I can make sure I get a proper fit with the shoes. Then it will be on to Claire's for some accessories. I also get to go to the Amazon locker to retrieve the new wig I ordered and 3 pair of Hanes Silk Reflection thigh highs I ordered based on some good reviews in another thread. I love having Christmas in April.

[Vickie_CDTV]

While most women (almost none where I live) wear dresses to go shopping, I don't think it would cause much of an issue. I would consider wearing a jacket or sweater with the dress (cover your arms, and a jacket/blazer makes it look like you just came from a professional job where you might be required to wear a dress.) A longer dress below the knee might draw less attention, older women tend to wear longer skirts and dresses.

If the shoes are new, remember you might need to break them in first before wearing them out. Flat or heel, they might be uncomfortable when you first buy them, especially at that price point (due to stiff synthetic materials.)

[Heather76]

As Ricky Nelson once sang, I feel stood up, broken hearted again. Despite the terrible weather forecast, I had to drive to the Amazon locker to pick up the new wig and 3 pairs of thigh highs. Then I went on to the mall and Shoe Dept. I could not find the shoes I was looking for. However, I found another pair in 12M. This was a pair of flats for $24.99 plus tax. I sat down, tried them on, and bought them. When I walked out of the mall, it was raining - actually a downpour. You know the old joke about weather forecasting being the only job you can be wrong 90% of the time and get your contract renewed. Well, those folks were right this time.

I drove home and got dressed anyway. I put the wig on and like it a lot more than the other wigs I purchased. I put on makeup and the clip-on hoop earrings I purchased at Claire's. Then the press on nails got pressed on. My only question is how on earth do women learn how to buckle shoe straps with the buckle on the outside of the ankle where it isn't visible? Anyway, here's a picture fully dressed, with nails, and one of the shoes. When I looked in the mirror, I saw an old guy dressed as a woman. There is no passing; but, that's okay. I still feel wonderful dressed up.

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[NjJamie]

Heather, you look wonderful and glad you were able to enjoy a few hours of "pretty"!

[Mary Loo]

Heather, the flats look beautiful. I agree the wig is very nice and the bracelet and watches are a wonderful touch as well. Good job. It may not have been your original plan, but you should still be congratulated.

[MonicaPVD]

You. Look. Fantastic. Congratulations.

[Kris Burton]

I know what you mean - it's a contortionists trick at first, but eventually the hole where you buckle will be larger and you'll be able to "feel" it .

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[QUOTE=Heather76;4577371 I still feel wonderful dressed up.

As well you should. The new wig looks wonderful, and your presentation is great. You're ready to go!

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Heather, I am so happy for you! Personally I like the yellow dress, but you look great in both. Have fun and be careful! Oh as others have mentioned, buckling shoe satraps should before any foundation garments. Ugh, take off the (stupid) corset and start from the bottom up. Trust me if you put on a corset you can't reach your shoes.

[Heather76]

Brenda, no worries about a corset. I can't imagine strangling my body with one. Whenever the next opportunity arises to actually present Heather to the general public, she will simply have to live with the fact she is an overweight older lady. I really like the yellow dress, as well. It and this black one are my 2 favorites of the small 5 dress wardrobe I currently have. I don't have a great sense of which colors go together (just ask my wife); but, I do believe a brown/beige/tan colored shoe would go better with yellow.

While I was at the mall (and Walmart on my way to the mall), I did look at some tops and pants. I'm going to start on a quest to become more knowledgeable about those things (styles and sizes) so I can dress more casually, as well. I believe the best all around shoe type for that kind of clothing will be sneakers.

[Krisi]

Flats are best for most women.

I agree unless you are going to the policeman's ball.

If you are just walking around town, flats are what most women would wear, especially normal and larger sized women.

[Linda K.]

Congrats Heather, the shoes look great!! Don't worry about passing. I am sure you are the only one that will notice!! That is a great outfit!! :)

[Heather76]

I really do have to thank everyone for their insights and encouragement. It does mean a lot.

[Lana Mae]

Heather, you look "blendy" now go out there and get your girl on! Be safe but have fun! Hugs Lana Mae

[JulieC]

My only question is how on earth do women learn how to buckle shoe straps with the buckle on the outside of the ankle where it isn't visible?

I used to have a pair of heels that had a buckle on the outside of the ankles. I loved the heels! They were so pretty <sigh>. I have to give up on them; the buckle was almost impossible to do. I've never gotten a heel like that again.

[mylilsecret8]

You look wonderful Heather! I love your shoes and the yellow dress!!! The buckles are a challenge and I've struggled with them as well.