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Aka_Donna
05-06-2022, 01:30 AM
Often people talk about circles of intimacy. Circle one is spouse/SO. Circle two is children/in-laws. Circle three is public.

So what has been your experience with circle 2 dressing?

I most likely will have a circle 2 event this month. Daughter knows dress, but have not seen me dressed. Son-in-law also
knows but has not seen. We have a vacation where we have invited them to join us, if they are willing.

So my big questions are:
1- any experiences, positive or negative, in actually dressing before sibs?
2- what about in-laws? and in-laws that feel uncomfortable with wearing a wig in a party atmosphere?

Thank you in advance for the sharing.

Jolene Robertson
05-06-2022, 03:54 AM
Hi Donna,
I'm probably not the best one to respond but..
Do they need to know? What's to be gained from them knowing?
You need to ask yourself these questions before coming out to anyone.
I have told my youngest daughter (who of course told her husband), she has seen me dressed and she has no problems with it. I didn't figure she would as in here job she has to be considerate of of the LGBT community and works with some of us. I decided to tell her because I knew she wouldn't tell the whole world and I am getting older and someday she might have to come in to the house and take care of things when I'm gone. She would be wondering about all the large shoes and wigs in the closet, so better for some understanding before that happens IMO.

So only you can decide why someone needs to know, are you going to transition?

Good luck and please let us know how it goes.

kimdl93
05-06-2022, 05:51 AM
I have had a number of experiences being en femme with my my adult stepdaughter and her friends. It really was a non issue for them.

Sidney
05-06-2022, 09:19 AM
I have a 45 year old step daughter that I have help raise since she was in her young teenage years. I talked to Her about Sidney before my wife knew. She loves to go shopping with me. She walks in unannounced with friends in tow. I am almost always dressed enfime so they all know Sidney. My daughter is like a Mama Bear with me. One of her friends made the mistake of saying a rude remark to me when she first saw me dressed. It was not a pretty scene and my daughter has not spoken to her since. My daughter calls me Papamom.

Aka_Donna
05-06-2022, 10:15 AM
To add some clarity. The primary question is "What changes do you observe when adult children go from 'hearing about CD' and 'seeing CD' "?

No I dress most evenings, but it's too much to dress during day. The event is a vacation so normally during a vacation I dress during the day about 1/2 the time. We have invited daughter to join us, so trying to figure out if ok to dress during vacation, as normal, or is dial back necessary. Hopefully someone has experienced this change from hearing about CD to seeing CD and can provide their experience with the event.

April Rose
05-06-2022, 11:37 AM
My son who is 34 now has known about me since he was 14, though I didn't really come out to him until I was 22. He first saw me fully dressed in his early 20's and it was a non event. I still don't dress often in front of him, but that is because he lives far enough away now that his visits are always pre-planned.

His generation is a lot less hysterical about social conformity than mine is.

AngelaYVR
05-06-2022, 12:13 PM
This question has me wondering as well. I plan on going to see Kinky Boots with my 20yo daughter this summer and wonder how it will go from knowing and accepting to actually seeing (I told her when she was 17).

Kris Burton
05-06-2022, 01:24 PM
I think I'm going to be finding out about "circle 2" soon. Last week, my 34 year old son was visiting (he moved out at 20) and he came into the computer room while I was reading crossdressers.com. I thought nothing of it, and left the screen up nonchalantly as we conversed and I multitasked. I know he saw, and likely saw my avatar as I was commenting on a post. He said nothing at the time, and I don't think he will have a negative reaction. I think he has some personal "secrets" too - and don't we all!

Genifer Teal
05-07-2022, 03:06 PM
Where do people "often" talk about circles of intimacy? This is the first I've ever had it mentioned.

Aka_Donna
05-07-2022, 05:17 PM
Surprised you haven't heard of this. Duckduckgo on "circles of intimacy"

Here is a quick example to get you started:

https://personcenteredplanning.com/index.php/circles-of-support/

https://autismwestmidlands.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/visual-resources-intimacy-circle.pdf


And here is the clearest:
http://www.jmrlcswc.com/2015/09/personal-boundaries-relationship-levels_34.html

JulieC
05-07-2022, 07:13 PM
I think looking at the graphics, there's a circle 1.5 for me. These are people who know everything of any consequence about me. They know my history, likes, dislikes, fantasies, every odd thing that makes me...me. This includes crossdressing. There are only two people in the world who are in that circle for me; my wife and another woman with whom I am exceptionally close and have been for decades (yes, my wife knows and approves). Circle 2 doesn't know about crossdressing.