Going out dressed but not passing

[BridalGuy]

Does anyone go out dressed but without makeup or a wig? Like...obviously a male but wearing all fem attire? What kind of reaction do you get? I love going out wearing womens Jeans but I usually chicken out and will wear a guy style t shirt. I would much rather wear a girls t shirt or pink fleese jacket.

[Fiona Lindum]

I frequently go out as a male but wearing female clothing (womens jeans and a blouse/top). Most of the time there is no reaction.

[Sandi Beech]

I prefer going out fully en femme, but sometimes I do not have the time for everything when the pink fog hits. As a result , I have gone out with every permutation you can think of. Sometimes just large breast forms, or maybe neck down only. No one has said anything , but I find that women have paid me more compliments when fully dressed up. Guys try not to look if they do notice - generally speaking.

Sandi

[Terrihoney]

Never. I want to be assumed as a woman, not a guy dressed up.

[JuliannaS]

I go out a lot in leggings, sometimes womens jeans. Sometimes a tank top and bra under my jacket or sweatshirt.
Aside from being called ma'am, no reaction.

[Kelli_cd]

I go out wearing a femme top with my boy jeans. And I wear flip flops so everyone can see my pretty painted toes.

[GretchenM]

I call them mix and match dressers. It is often a preferred expression used by non-binary people who sense a very strong blending of male and female identities and behaviors. It is a way to validate who they are in terms of identity and to express that publicly. But dressing female-like with no wig or makeup is sometimes referred to as MIAD (man in a dress). And there are those that do that and some can be found here on this forum. Not common, but it is a definable and valid pattern of expressing their gender identity. Privately, I have done that at times. To me, it is no point in going with the wig and makeup as that is a lot more work if I am just going to be knocking around the house.

[Michaela Jane]

I do most of the time, women's jeans or work pants and a unisex tee or a long sleeved women's top. I usually don't wear a bra & forms unless I need to have a jacket of some kind on. Today, for instance, I am going to the movies with my kids (I am closeted to them) and will be wearing bikini panties, women's dickies work pants, a unisex tee, women's New Balance sneakers and unisex socks. Nobody says a word & I assume the kids don't really care. Today, I will be in Dad mode. :)

[kinky_caitlin]

I have gone out many times in a skirt and top with no makeup or wig. Often I dont have time for the full transformation or I just dont care and want to wear a skirt. Never had any bad reactions. But do get lots of compliments from the GGs

[JuliannaS]

I want to start doing that, Caitlin.

[docrobbysherry]

Over the years a few dressers have showed up at our local T events with simply a dress on. No wig, make up, forms, or anything.:eek:

Mostly it was my T friends that were bothered and wanted no part of them!:sad:

[LydiaL]

For me there is no point in cross dressing and going out unless I attempt to achieve at least some semblance of passing. Fem-boy looks OK by me are behind closed doors only.

[Majella St Gerard]

I go out either full male or full female no half way shit here.

[Billie]

I wear women's shorts and pants almost exclusively. Tops are sometimes. People see what you are showing them.

[Heather76]

I will never do that. My wife and I were at LOWE'S one day. In the checkout line 2 or 3 people ahead of us was a guy with a partial beard and a man bun we could only see from the back. He obviously had a woman's top on (the spaghetti straps were a dead giveaway). As he turned slightly we could see he was wearing a bra and forms and then noticed he had on women's leggings. He then opened his small purse to make payment. My wife said to me: "Don't you ever go out dressed like that." I actually do listen to her. If/when I ever go out dressed, I would like to blend. I do not care to be a spectacle and provide others with an opportunity to be critical. While being fully dressed (wig, makeup, etc.) may not make me passable, if done correctly should make one close enough to leave a little room for doubt. Is she a she or isn't she a she?

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I go out in women's clothes as a man all the time..... BUT it's not obvious. I wear only women's jeans and socks (if I must wear socks), nearly all my tank tops are racerback, and I have some women's T-shirts that aren't too obvious to someone not looking. I also have several pairs of women's canvas shoes with patterns you'll never find in the Men's section. I wear these things to work, to the sports bar, to the airport, etc. But I still look like a guy, probably no more odd than a guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

[bre]

My wife is generally accepting of my interests and is moving even more toward becoming supportive. The only "DA" upon which she insists is "Don't advertise;" my bride has said that what would look best on me if dressed in public is "distance." Even so, I would like to try perhaps some level of going out dressed, although it would probably lean toward a more androgynous look. Taking the advice from many in this forum, I have begun to subtly notice women of my age group in public for their styles and mannerisms.

[Cheryl T]

No, Never.
I don't wish to be seen as anything other than an average woman when I'm in public. I may not "pass" but it's not about that for me, it's about presenting myself in public in the best light possible as someone who prefers being female in all aspects.
I don't ever wish to be seen as a MIAD, but that's my thing, not everyone's.

I have to add that most of my clothes are women's. All my jeans, most tops and all my underwear. I don't wear anything overtly feminine in drab even though almost everything I'm wearing is female. All that would be obviously seen as feminine is reserve for when I am presenting as such.

[CeCe]

Not to work, but everywhere else I wear tight women's jeans or leggings. I often wear just a unisex sweatshirt as a top.. Sometimes I add an undetectable bra and/or other femme undergarments. I have long hair and facial hair. I just look like an aging rock and roller. The only comment I ever get is that I look much younger than my age of 69.

[CarlaWestin]

I will never do that. My wife and I were at LOWE'S one day. In the checkout line 2 or 3 people ahead of us was a guy with a partial beard and a man bun we could only see from the back. He obviously had a woman's top on (the spaghetti straps were a dead giveaway). As he turned slightly we could see he was wearing a bra and forms and then noticed he had on women's leggings. He then opened his small purse to make payment. My wife said to me: "Don't you ever go out dressed like that." I actually do listen to her. If/when I ever go out dressed, I would like to blend. I do not care to be a spectacle and provide others with an opportunity to be critical. While being fully dressed (wig, makeup, etc.) may not make me passable, if done correctly should make one close enough to leave a little room for doubt. Is she a she or isn't she a she?

I've gone out in blend mode and just tooled around shopping not buying. Casual conversations but little other interactions. Sometime just jean skirt, top and flip-flops and maybe a little makeup. Other times just androgynous chiselled yet well endowed. As far as sketty straps, beard and bun, well, I have no issue with appearance and personal comfort zone. I do enjoy wearing a fabulous bra with forms but, a nice rack would sorta be too much distraction if I was buying lumber. And you know sHe or ShE, which ever you prefer, is jut being his desired ME.

Hmm? I wonder if there's a man bun with a full beard hairpiece on Amazon? Pink or blue?

[Stephanie47]

I go out either full male or full female no half way shit here.

I totally agree. I wish someone would really explain what is the mindset. It totally confuses me. My daughter has worn men's shoes because the shoes was more comfortable than a women's shoe. My wife worn men's jeans on occasion because it was difficult to find a pair of women's jeans that fit her. That was true of my granddaughter too. She has no hips and the young guy jeans fit her better. My wife raids my collection of "Peanuts/Snoopy" tee shirts. None of these women were thinking they were flying under the radar like the women in those "Maidenform Dream Ads." Is there some sense of satisfaction in not going all the way? I realize it is "each to his own," but a bearded guy at Lowe's wearing obvious women's attire......I cannot understand the mindset. The other day my wife blurted out to something she saw on television; "Why would a guy wear a bra when he has nothing to pack into it?"

[Teresa.Smith.VA]

CherylT's statement summarizes my thoughts. I wish to be seen as a woman when I'm in public, even if I don't always "pass". My wife strongly agrees with me too. She is most always out with me and once told me that she would be uncomfortable if my presentation as Teresa was not as convincing as possible.

[Christie ann]

I think it’s great that we can have this discussion and how far things have come in just the 15 years I have been a member on this site. It wasn’t that long ago that you just didn’t see anyone mixing clothes of each gender. I remember getting up the courage to ask about a makeover and being told, We dont do men or when I was stopped by the police because I was walking down the street in a dress. Ya, the wig was awful, but still.
Now, a guy can go to a lumber yard in a camisole. I am glad there are still people out there pushing limits for all of us.

[Joanne108]

If I am going to wear woman?s clothes I will dress completely. So as a rule I am totally dressed as a woman. I may pass until someone notices my height. No one has ever said there?s a guy in a dress when I am out in public. So maybe I do pass.

[sometimes_miss]

The other day my wife blurted out to something she saw on television; "Why would a guy wear a bra when he has nothing to pack into it?"
Quite simple. The visual (we see female attire on us), tactile (feel it all, including hair brushing against our skin in different ways than it did with a guy's hairstyle), and perhaps olfactory (perfume / powders, etc.) and auditory sensations ( earrings / necklace / bracelets clinking in ways that male accessories do not) that we can get from crossdressing, provide what we believe to be female specific feelings, which can help dissipate GID.

[Debs]

would Never Ever walk out the door without Makeup and a dress or a skirt on in femm mode

[Aunt Kelly]

I will take heat for this, regardless, but let me say up front that I support an individual's right to adopt whatever manner of dress they choose. There...
Now then... There is a big difference between a man in a dress (no attempt to present as actually feminine) and... let's say "not exactly passing". The vast majority of people out there are not accustomed to a pointedly non-binary expression of gender. It makes them uncomfortable and it works against those of us who have a binary identity/expression. Not saying that it's right, but I am saying that it's real.

[Leslie Mary S]

When I go out it is either as the guy me or the gal me. When gal, I wear light makeup. I do not try the "Blend of looks" any more.

[Bobbi46]

To a large extent I think it comes down to where you live and what people are like, i don't pass a such but nor do I get looked at either. I believe it is down to how you perceive yourself and how comfortable you are when you go out.

[abby054]

As for me, I prefer to follow the Esprit conference rule: I make the effort to look convincingly male or convincingly female. No mixing of clothing items. I make sufficient effort to ensure that any observer must pay close attention to notice any clues that I am not female.

One of my reasons for crossdressing is to get a respite by temporarily changing my identity or at least appear to do so. I work in a demanding job with lots of responsibilities. When I am on my own time, I want a break, even to the point of becoming someone else for a while, someone responsible only for herself. For a guy like me, there are few ways indeed more sure of temporarily becoming someone else than to appear convincingly female while out and about.

[prene]

For me I usually wear gg jeans all the time.

Maybe not skinny jeans but gg jeans (I love them "sorry Karen").

[Wendy-Lyn]

I can't pass as a woman, but I can come pretty close - so I just dress appropriately and blend.

Some can tell, many can't. Either way I don't mind, and I enjoy it immensely. And the odd compliment which comes my way is always welcome.

EDIT: So I went to the mall today, dressed in a pink top and my new skirt (a 'first'). Also sandals and black knee-highs, and my grey wig. Forms in a 14D bra. Jewellery and bright red nails. Just walked in and proceeded to go about my business. And no-one gave me a second (or even first) glance.

I did see one GG that I know, but who does not know about Wendy. She didn't give me a second look either.

[Denice]

I go out in women's clothes as a man all the time..... BUT it's not obvious. I wear only women's jeans and socks (if I must wear socks), nearly all my tank tops are racerback, and I have some women's T-shirts that aren't too obvious to someone not looking. I also have several pairs of women's canvas shoes with patterns you'll never find in the Men's section. I wear these things to work, to the sports bar, to the airport, etc. But I still look like a guy, probably no more odd than a guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

That sums it up for me as well. Is what I'm wearing from the women's side of the aisle? Yes? Then all is well in the world.

[hose.heels]

I have only been going out dressed for the past few weeks and only 4-5 times. When I do go out I am a blend of genders. Androgynous may be the correct term, though I don't really care what you call it. Typically I am wearing either women's short shorts or akle jeans with or without pantyhose, heels or very fem sandals and a feminine top. I do not have or wear or want falsies or bras and I have a hair chest that I do not keep completely covered. I have long hair that I usually curl when I go out and I wear make up, usually clean shaven, but not always.

I don't dress to present myself as female. I dress to present myself as me and that is a mixture of both femininity and masculinity. When in guy mode I'm probably 85/15 masculine and when enfem I am probably 85/15 fem. I am completely fine and comfortable with that. For me, it's just about being me, not trying to fit any social norms.

I know that this is confusing to some, but it is not to me. I probably draw more attention when I am in public because of it, but I don't really care about that. What other people think of me is none of my business.

[FemJim]

I went out yesterday in a tshirt maxi dress (could also kinda see my bra straps and brazilian cut panty lines), some mascara and lip gloss, fem cap and flip flops but very obviously male. I've been wearing women's shorts, sweats, tops, etc for years but only recently have started wearing dresses out and about and I'm totally hooked. Feels amazing and I love letting the world know who I am and what I'm about. Wish I'd started sooner. :)

[NancySue]

When I go out, my goal is to blend in which, in our small town, means little or no makeup, hose, heels, messy hair, etc. I usually wear women?s jeans, flats and a non-descript top. Having said that, I underdress daily, with panties, either pantyhose or thigh highs and my a cup underwire sweater bra, which I leave on. Yes, I?ve received some glances and smiles, but nothings been said.

[valerie anne]

I regularly go out shopping with a modest but firm bust (can't hide that now!), bra straps which show to a greater or lesser extent, and definite lip gloss. Only flats at the moment, injured knee.

I have never been challenged, and in the summer I like to observe other women's brassieres. Most of them are quite frumpy, and a lot are clearly wearing the wrong size (bands riding up, slipping straps).

I can imagine a competition, where the manager says: "OK ladies all tops off, let's see your undies". I would win the title with the sexiest lace bra with a perfect fit!

[Kelli_cd]

I'm sure that my "every day" bras are prettier than most of the women in my building. Our workforce is about 70% female.

[Jessax101]

Only been out once, but tried to be as fem as possible.. Thinking I didn?t really do a fabulous job if it, but was fun. A few GGs smiled and staff at store and restaurant was friendly. Do not necessarily want to go out 1/2 way either way!

Jess

[Audrey34]

I don't like going out in public right now. I have no confidence in myself or my appearance right now. I try to present as nicely as I can with full makeup, wig and everything but lately my heart just hasn't been into it. Back in November, my cd group went to a nice restaurant and I got dolled up for it but I didn't wear makeup. And when we got to the restaurant and waited to be seated a couple of drunken (I hope they were) customers at the nearby bar saw us and made a few rude comments about us. We took no notice of them but I kind of feel maybe it was my fault for not wearing makeup that evening.

[MonicaPVD]

Audrey, I know that feeling but trust me, it wasn't your lack of makeup that triggered those losers. You could have had Kim K's makeup artist work on your face but a group of CDs will always stand out. This opens us up to commentary from losers. Keep your chin up, with or without makeup on it!

[jen_ross]

As a girl who dresses only part way, this is a very interesting thread. I never bothered with wigs or forms, and have only dressed in private. I'm happy with lipstick, leggings, and a ladies' sporty top. OK also my gold metallic flats with anklet hose. It's OK to do whatever makes you happy, pardon for perhaps stating the obvious.

[Rachelakld]

I got fed up of having to dress fully a couple of times over the last few years.
I think having a decent head of hair would have made me more confident to continue.

328634 328635

[Leslie Mary S]

Many ladies nowadays wear what looks like a man's style hair-do. so just do your face like you normally do and go for it.

[Melanie Sykes]

A couple of people have wondered about the mindset of going out dressed without makeup or wig, so I'll try to explain my own rationale.

Firstly, I personally consider "dressing" to be clothes and shoes, and consider makeup and wig to be another level over and above dressing. I dress for me, not for anyone else - I do it for the tactile sensations and for how it makes me feel. I'm not trying to fool anyone into thinking I'm a woman, and at 6'5" I'd never get close to passing if I did. Going back to the tactile thing, I love the feel of wearing a bra, though I don't have anything to put in it. I do have breast forms, but I keep them for the rare occasions I'm out in full femme mode, with wig and makeup. I don't dress like a hooker - just normal clothes that normal women my age wear in the day.

Secondly, I'm in a mostly DADT marriage. I can't dress at home, or if I can it's rare these days and usually for less than an hour. I don't have time for makeup nor am I inclined to ruin my male hair with a wig. Also, my wife and friends know me with a light beard. My wife hates when I shave my beard off, and it upsets her when I do because she knows it's probably because I've been wearing makeup. So I keep the beard - I last shaved it in 2017. When I do get a day to myself somewhere away from home (extremely rare), even without a beard I can't put makeup on in the house, and I'm sure as hell not trying to do it in the car!

Thirdly, I'm a man, and I quite like being a man - I just really love feminine things too. The times I've shaved my beard off I've found I love makeup - I love the process of putting it on and experimenting with shading and colours. I could spend hours doing it, and the finished results made me feel fantastic afterwards. But the main driver for me doing it was so that I would be less recognisable out and about. I look OK as a man, but I don't make a particularly good-looking woman. I don't get enough out of wig and makeup to be willing to upset my wife, have my friends potentially asking questions about where my beard has gone, and expending the time and effort each time just so I can wear the clothes I want to.

Having said all that about effort, I do shave my legs now and then, especially if they're going to be exposed. It's a huge part of the tactile sensation, and I don't like hairy legs (which mine naturally are).

Fourth, when dressed, I've had more looks, giggles and stares wearing a wig and makeup than without them. Same with heels - they provoke the laughs (my height doesn't help), but with flats nobody seems to notice, or if they do they accept that what I'm wearing isn't too outrageous. So I tend to stick with flats more these days, though I'd dearly love to wear heels.

Lastly, and I alluded to this in another thread yesterday, I'm just minding my own business, wearing clothes that half the planet is allowed to wear without even blinking. I'm not doing anything wrong. We have all been conditioned by society to expect the two accepted genders to dress in a certain kind of way, and when some people see someone who violates this expectation they can feel repulsed, that it is wrong, that it is fine to openly mock, and sometimes that it is punishable, but that really is a problem with society and in those people's own mindsets. People are weird machines: I accept that about myself, but I can't fix other people.