tori-e
04-09-2006, 11:24 PM
My wife and I have been agonizing about my coming out to various people. We've been dealing with the "needs to know" idea and have been considering how to tell my adult son. He is married and has a two year old. Having a grandchild has been so cool.
We were afraid that a negative reaction from either him or his wife could result in a fracture in our family, with the worse scenario being losing contact with our grandchild.
A few months ago I started writing an FAQ about my being TS. My wife reviewed it a few days ago and we reworked it quite a bit as though we were answering questions directly for them.
Last night my sons wife was out of town and he came over to visit. We all had dinner and coffee then my wife disappeared to do some chores. With my heart in my throat I starting taking about some related topics that allowed me to lead into discussion about my GID. I started off quite vague and he seemed receptive. So I continued. Finally, he seemed comfortable with everything, so I gave him the FAQ and left him to read it. After he was finished the three of us sat at the table and we talked for another five hours. He was very understanding and was glad I told him. Since his teens our relationship has been good, but not overly personal or heart-to-heart. Last night we both opened up and we shared many personal things. It was wonderful.
I left it to him to decide the level of comfort he had with talking to his wife. He insisted on being open with her.
This afternoon she returned and he immediately told her. He called me an hour or so after they talked. She was completely understanding and sympathetic. They both seem concerned for me and there was none of the fear and anger that you read about so often.
My son seems genuinely happy that I opened up to him and thanked me for sharing my terrible secret with him. This situation seems to have opened a door in our relationship, where I feared it might slam shut. I thanked him and told him how grateful, happy and lucky I am for the way he and his wife have taken this. My wife and I are truly blessed with having raised an amazing son.
I am one lucky TG!
Tori
We were afraid that a negative reaction from either him or his wife could result in a fracture in our family, with the worse scenario being losing contact with our grandchild.
A few months ago I started writing an FAQ about my being TS. My wife reviewed it a few days ago and we reworked it quite a bit as though we were answering questions directly for them.
Last night my sons wife was out of town and he came over to visit. We all had dinner and coffee then my wife disappeared to do some chores. With my heart in my throat I starting taking about some related topics that allowed me to lead into discussion about my GID. I started off quite vague and he seemed receptive. So I continued. Finally, he seemed comfortable with everything, so I gave him the FAQ and left him to read it. After he was finished the three of us sat at the table and we talked for another five hours. He was very understanding and was glad I told him. Since his teens our relationship has been good, but not overly personal or heart-to-heart. Last night we both opened up and we shared many personal things. It was wonderful.
I left it to him to decide the level of comfort he had with talking to his wife. He insisted on being open with her.
This afternoon she returned and he immediately told her. He called me an hour or so after they talked. She was completely understanding and sympathetic. They both seem concerned for me and there was none of the fear and anger that you read about so often.
My son seems genuinely happy that I opened up to him and thanked me for sharing my terrible secret with him. This situation seems to have opened a door in our relationship, where I feared it might slam shut. I thanked him and told him how grateful, happy and lucky I am for the way he and his wife have taken this. My wife and I are truly blessed with having raised an amazing son.
I am one lucky TG!
Tori