therapy

[Delila]

I was wondering how many people in here are in therapy or are considering therapy. I am thinking about going to school to be a gender therapist and I am wondering if it would be worth my time and if there would really be a clientelle for gender therapy specifically. I would really like to help gender confused individuals from a different perspective considering I am a CD. Any thoughts would be very welcome.

[uknowhoo]

It seems like a niche which needs to be served, yet you had better be in a sufficiently large metro area if yu want to build that type of practice. Perhaps not limiting yourself to GID clientelle may be advisable. Good luck. Let us know. Hugs, Tammi

[Delila]

thanks for the reply I am located in denver co. considering that trinidad the srs capital is so near I cant help but think that there may just be a niche for that specific clientel.

[Zelda Noe]

Hi Megan :wave2:

May I ask what school classes you are going to take related to this subject?

Are you going for a degree of some sort? Or some specific field with an emphasis on Gender Counseling?

At one time I was considering seriously a counseling degree or classes teaching it anyway.

Good luck, I DO think you have a good location being in Denver.

What exactly is your goal in counseling, seeing you are a cd?

Dandy:happy:

[Jennaie]

HI Megan:

I think that you would be entering a very challenging and rewarding segment of the advanced counseling arena. I do believe that you would have plenty of clients in the Denver area.

I am currently considering therapy, but not sure that it is going to make any difference as far as me changing my life style. I do think that it would help me better understand myself and be more comfortable with who I am.

[Cathy Anderson]

Hi Megan,

To be honest, I think it's not a good idea

The gender "specialists" I've met professionally have been almost without exception totally clueless and unable to separate their own issues and confusion from the needs of their clients.

This is especially true if the therapist is transgendered themself. Then they live in the realm of "cognitive dissonance." If you've taken psychology classses, you probably know that means basically an attitude like:

1. I have made the decision to pursue a TG lifestyle (out of closet)
2. I cannot consciously admit any evidence which contradicts my
decision.
3. Therefore I must insist to everybody, including TG clients, that being TG is really good.

In short: the best sure way to be sure that you never figure out your own personal issues concerning being TG is to become a TG therapist.

However, none of the above applies to being a general counselor--that is, seeing other kinds of clients.

Cathy

[kittypw GG]

This is kind of a touchy subject for me personally. My husband and I went to a counselor who is considered to be a gender specialist in our community but I am not sure that credentials are what give her the reputation more than just haveing other peers send her clients that they don't know how to deal with who have gender identity issues. She had my husband so confused that he thought he wanted srs and that he had always been a women trapped in a man's body. After a about three sessions I was invited to participate. I agreed of course and a few minutes into the session she told me that my husband did not want his penis with a damn smile on her face!!!! I was shocked and I felt sick. This was the start of both of our lives going out of control and quite crazy. She told him that he could take hormones right away and even told him where to get them. Now my husband has snapped out of it and says that he does not want to be a women. He was very confused and he is sure that he is just a garden variety crossdresser. This counselor caused us so much pain I can't even describe it. One whole year of my life was spent in this sprial of pain, agony confusion, hurt and for what? Now the damage is done and it has been hard to go back and repair our relationship.

First of all I think that counselors of this type can't see the forest through the trees. She made all of my husbands issues about the gender confusion. She completely overlooked the obsessive behavior, the inability to control anger, the past years of serious alcohol abuse, self esteem, and all of the other things that I will not get into here. Now I know that it is comforting that someone accepts you for who your are but you have to be carful that you don't over look some serious conditions with gender confusion componants like borderline personality disorder or other personality disorders. Wouldn't clients be better served if the acknowledgement were there but you get to the bottom of what causes you to have a messed up life and give the person tools to change negative patterns? I mean weather or not you have gender confusion you still have to live within the constraints of society. I doubt that just having a female body will make you happy if you really have other issues. If you are mentally healthy and have a good outlook about who and what you are then most people respect that and come to a certain acceptance and you eventually find your fit within your community.

I am not sure what exactly I'm trying to say here but I think that there is a need for gender specialists that are responsible and have the ability to get to the bottom of a persons problems whether or not they are directly related to gender identity. Kitty

[Phyliss]

Therapy and counselors, one of the more "touchy" subjects for me.

Background: While in the USN i had a bad drinking problem, and managed to clear it up, (Thanks to A.A.) Long story short, I eventually became a Drug and Alcohol counselor myself. I ended up learning more than I wanted to. While I made my own journey of self discovery I also helped a number of people, however there was a "little matter" of my own personal views being always brought into any session. Try as I would I found myself coloring any session with my story.
To top this off, since I was "working" for USN at the time I was given a particular adgenda to follow. Specfically, a monthly report of how many I had "saved from demon rum".
I suppose if I had been working as an independant person I could have spent more time with each person and not worry about "meeting a target number"

One of the things I quickly learned was, if I went into a situation with the idea of:
I had a problem and I fixed it, so do you and I can show you how to take care of it.

That was the mostest wrongest way of doing it.

If a person wants to get into the field of counseling anyone about anything, I guess I'd suggest they be very comfortable about themself.

As for going to see a counselor, since I used to be one, I know some of the things to look for, so I'm quite wary of any of them.

Could I use some form of "counseling" about my crossdressing? I don't think it would hurt, however, at this time and this point of my life I really don't feel the need for it. But then,........most people in asylums say they're perfectly fine.

[Wombat]

I'm very wary of the whole medical establishment as a result of some very misguided or simply blind beliefs and advice. In considering taking up study, I'd be scared of what they'd try to teach me, and it'll be a case of swallow their line or be failed.

I think the medical field is moving in the right direction and there are some wonderful, understanding people in it, but it is still a minefield of bigotry, delusion and misunderstanding. If you believe you have the strength to work through that, go for it, because we need that sort of person in the professions. However, you may find the study traumatic because whatever you come up against, you will be applying it to yourself.

Wombat

[livy_m_b]

Hi Megan,

To be honest, I think it's not a good idea

The gender "specialists" I've met professionally have been almost without exception totally clueless and unable to separate their own issues and confusion from the needs of their clients.

This is especially true if the therapist is transgendered themself. Then they live in the realm of "cognitive dissonance." If you've taken psychology classses, you probably know that means basically an attitude like:

1. I have made the decision to pursue a TG lifestyle (out of closet)
2. I cannot consciously admit any evidence which contradicts my
decision.
3. Therefore I must insist to everybody, including TG clients, that being TG is really good.

In short: the best sure way to be sure that you never figure out your own personal issues concerning being TG is to become a TG therapist.

However, none of the above applies to being a general counselor--that is, seeing other kinds of clients.

Cathy

I think this is a watch out, not a discouragement. My therapists have been gg and very understanding. Others have experience with tg therapists that is positive. The key element seems to be a professional attitude that recognizes one's own biases and attitudes and sets them aside in the interest of helping the client understand what their own situation is. Most therapists today, tg or not, understand there is a wide range of "types" that are included under the tg umbrella and that what is right for one is not right for another.

Cathy brings up an excellent point which is applicable across the board for those seeking therapy: when dealing with a therapist, do your own assessment of the therapist while she is assessing you. Not only tgs but ggs and gms bring their own baggage with them to the counseling sessions. Keep looking til you find a good therapist for you.

For those seeking to be therapists, it's a watchout too - don't be so sure that your clients aren't as bright (or brighter) than you are - strive to perform in the best interest of your client wherever that may lead and you will perform a valuable service.

Personally, I share some of Cathy's attitude. I think I prefer having a non-tg therapist - that gives me comfort at getting input from a person who I know in advance will not have that particular bias. (Of course there are also therapists out there who are just pursuing the $, and that is a bias also.) But I see no reason that you shouldn't follow this path. Your ability to affirm the lifestyle choices of cd's should be outstanding and you will have empathy for tgs and tss.

[CaptLex]

I agree with Tammi. I think more gender therapists are needed. I was fortunate to find a good one and this is in a large, diverse metropolitan area. Of course there are going to be therapists out there that don't do their job well - and this applies to all therapists, not just gender therapists - but I think there's definitely a need out here that's not being met.

I also agree with livy: interview your therapist while he/she is evaluating you to be sure this is someone you will be comfortable opening up to, someone who is receptive to your needs and doesn't have his/her own agenda, and someone who will not make the decisions for you but will help you find the answers within yourself.

I thought it would take me forever to find the right one, but God must have been watching out for me because I lucked out immediately. In short, I think it's a good idea, Megan. Good luck to you. :)

[Delila]

Sorry to bring up an old topic but this is something I need info on. Any of you that are in counseling did you check out your couselor first? were they very experienced? did they help you? and if your willing to share what do you think they did wrong? I'm sorry if this is touchy but I am seriously considering this as a career and I would want to help people in the best way that I possibly can.

[tari]

I have a gg therapist and she saved my life. She is the kindest, least judgmental person I ever met. She has forgotton more about tg people than I'll never know. I can't say enough how she saved me. Thank God people care about us

[HaleyPink2000]

Does TriEss count as therapy? A support group?

[tifftg]

I have been seeing a therapist for over a year. She has been involved with the community for nearly eight years and has been tremendously helpful both in working through issues related to my dressing but also how it impacts many of my other relationships. Like anything else, it pays to do your homework.

[DonnaT]

I've never been nor ever considered going to a therapist. Probably because I've always accepted this.

However, I do believe there is a niche for you in the gender therapy field, and I would suggest including marriage/couples counciling as well.

[Anahis]

Some people (another TV's) have told me to go to therapy and I'm considering.

[Jodi Lynn]

To anyone that is thinking about going to therary, make sur that the therapist isn't one that think crossdressing is a mental illness. When my wife found out about Jodi she wanted me to go to therapy, in fact we both went. First thing he said was that I was mentally ill.. I wanted to run out the door.

[JoannaDees]

To anyone that is thinking about going to therary, make sur that the therapist isn't one that think crossdressing is a mental illness. When my wife found out about Jodi she wanted me to go to therapy, in fact we both went. First thing he said was that I was mentally ill.. I wanted to run out the door.

That's really sad Jodi. And this person is NOT one to believe, or continue seeing. A very bad therapist. RUN!

[Jodi Lynn]

Hi Joanna,
I didn't go to see him long after the 3rd session he had a break down himself and that was the end of that.

[Kimberley]

Hi Megan,

I am in therapy with a psychiatrist who could start her own alphabet. She is older (early 60's) and very experienced in this arena. Not all psychologists or psychiatrists are qualified to work in this area. There is a need but this is an area they seemingly dont or cant teach, so if falls to one to garner experience in order to work in the field.

Like any professional, you will have to separate your own feelings and bias from your work. This is imperative for success. Being a CD should have no bearing on your performance. If it does then you should not go into the field. You will not serve your clients well in such circumstances.

I wish you well.

[Krystenw]

I can't say that I have much use for therapist any more. I have been to several. One of them after several sessions at ($75.00 a session) had me come into a session dressed the best that I could. She told me that I should get a divorce, move to California for a couple years, have a sex change and go on with my life. I told her that I didn't want a sex change that I just wanted to stop wearing ladies clothes. She told me that would likely never happen. She must have been right. That was 25 years ago and look at me now.

[Faye Emmette]

Hiya Megan,
Admiration for contemplating a tricky course of study.
I met, and fell for, a New Hampshire woman in August 2004 who was having therapy and I couldn't believe it. She had it all and gave me confidence in myself and taught me how to smile and be a better woman. But the internet affair ended and now sometimes I think I need therapy.
I know who I am and that's OK but I don't know if I can ever meet anyone again and I don't even try now. No longer waiting for the missus and kids to go out to have a quick doll-up and can live as I want but sometimes I just don't care about any gender ... see? ... everyone has a complex situation.
Yep, I admire you for taking on this task but warn you is is a complex issue.

[Clare]

Therapy for crossdressing? Not yet!

In the past 2-3 decades, there have been times where I was in desperate need for some counselling over crossdressing, but never sought the help I really needed at the time.

As for now, I am more accepting than ever of my crossdressing and I perceive myself as a transgender person. But I am by no means completely happy, one day I will need to open up more to family and friends, which is why therapy will be necessary at the time.

[Sally24]

I just had my first therapy session this week and it was great! I had a pretty good idea of where I was on the whole gender scale but that was all from websites, reading, and self-diagnoses. It was nice to hear it from someone with much experience with people from all levels. I saw Christine Becker in the Boston area. She was very gracious and friendly. She let me talk about myself when I would get rolling and then would ask questions about areas she wanted to know about. When something was pretty average or conversly unusual for your "normal" CD she let me know.

I had become a little concerned because of my intense desire to pass and be as perfect as possible. It seems that is more from my anal/compulsive side than from my female side. She warned me from pursing too much of that in terms of changing my body so much as to not pass as a male. I had not considered that much and she was right, I would not care for that.

It was a very possitive experience and I think I will go again just to hash out some of my insecurities. I think this will help me relax and enjoy being my female self without being so uptight about things.

Good luck!