Wife speaks up

[Maria 60]

The niebours across the street came over with a bottle of wine and we sat out front with them. They were talking about the gay parade last weekend and then the niebour turned to her husband and said "I hope I don't ever come home and find you wearing my clothes dancing around the house because there would be no discussion just pack your bags".
Well my wife was into her second glass of wine and she speaks her mind and with alcohol she speaks it more and she tells the niebour she didn't know she was so selfish.
The niebour tells my wife not to tell her that my wife would live with that crap, and that a women wants a man beside her not a sissy.
OH BOY! I could see the smoke now coming out of my wife's ears. She tells the niebour that as much as we have to live with some of men crap they also have to live with some of women crap. She told her that she is a compulsive shopper and she was spending money and hiding it that we almost went broke. She told her that I didn't pack a bag and leave, we talked about it and we put a lower limit on her Visa and she carries smaller amount of cash with her. She told her that I knew she wasn't going to stop but instead find a level that I could tolerate and that's what she would do if she came home and found me dancing in her clothes. She would sit me down and find a level that we could tolerate it, and as much as I trust she's not over spending she would have to trust that I won't over step either, that's a relationship a two way street where both have to be happy and trust each other.
Well the niebours were kind of speachless at this point and she turns to my wife and say that she was right she does put a lot of crap on her husbands plate to at times.
My wife told her that there's a lot of things in life and with our kids that we are not happy about but we live with it and tolerate it for our love for them.
Well after they left you know I had to ask the question to her and asked her to be honest and is she ok with my dressing and how much is she really tolerating it. She told me she will be honest and it really doesn't bother her at all, she enjoys the sharing and of course the shopping together and told me that we drew a line in the sand 30 years ago and as much as I do cross it now and then she is ok where we are. I looked at her and she seemed pretty sincere and I really hope she is honest and isn't being overly tolerate. She ended with don't look to much into it and change anything and just keep doing what I'm doing and as far as the niebours goes she opened her eyes to something but all she did was crush an ant.

[NancyJ]

Wow! Good for your wife! I would be so proud of her for speaking up against this bigoted, ill-informed neighbor. A couple times my wife and I have been with groups of people and someone has made a derogatory comment about trans people or crossdressers. We have usually just let it go or changed the subject. I think it takes more courage, and is a good thing, to face it head on and educate. Nancy

[kimdl93]

She was pretty clear in spelling out how relationships depend on mutual tolerance. And the subject is that over time, it became less something to tolerate, but rather something to be embraced and enjoyed.

[GretchenM]

WOW IS RIGHT! You married a diplomat that should be negotiating peace treaties. Congratulations, Maria, she is definitely a keeper. Just love the way she handled the situation.

[alwayshave]

Maria, you really have an advocate in your wife. You are a lucky girl.

[Kris Burton]

A great story Maria...you are definitely one of the fortunate ones among us.

[Debbie Denier]

Wow Maria. You have a really considerate and tolerant wife . My wife is like your neighbour.

[bridget thronton]

A wonderful and principled wife you have Maria

[Stephanie47]

It is everyone's responsibility to speak out against intolerance. To sit in silence is to encourage them. Glad your wife spoke up.

[Kitty Sue]

What an amazing woman your wife is. Good for her! People like her are badly needed across the USA at the moment.

[traciJ]

Anyone with half an ounce of empathy would never tell someone to pack their bags without first thoughtfully considering the situation, giving it some time, and talking it through. And then talking some more. Of course, its probably best to start a discussion sooner so there is never any getting "caught".

[April Rose]

Maria, your wife is the best.

[1Ladyjade]

Yes in deed you are a lucky one. Not only does she tolerate your dressing she is an advocate and willing to step up to a shallow person and tell them how it really is.

[Fiona_44]

Maria,

Give your wife an extra hug and kiss, she deserves it!

[GracieRose]

Good for your wife, even if the wine helped her state her opinion.
I suspect that your neighbor was parroting the transphobia that she probably keeps hearing in the news without thinking seriously about it. If nothing else, your wife's response probably forced both of your neighbors to think a little more openly and seriously. She probably forced two people to rethink their knee-jerk reaction to transgender people for the better. You can't force people to think in a loving and accepting way. They have to be led there. Her 'insight' on the compromises involved in a good marriage, are spot on also. Your neighbors may benefit from that discussion also. She's a keeper.

[Heather76]

We've had conversations with several different friends over the past 6 months where 1 of them has made disparaging remarks about crossdressers. They were very brief comments. My wife and I both glossed over them without comment and then moved on in the conversations to something else. I now wished we had taken the opportunity and handled it as well as your wife did. Thanks for a good lesson.

[Di]

The complete thing sounds suspect to me.
Why would a reg couple even know those words.
Either they do the same or saw you and looked into crossdressing.
Just sounds off ( what the couple said)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Maria :daydreaming:, What an awesome story, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[char GG]

The topic of CDing has never come up with my neighbors or friends, even though my hubby has gone to his car dressed. I doubt that many of them know CDing exists.

I am guessing that maybe someone in the neighborhood saw you. Otherwise, it's an odd topic to bring up just out of the blue.

[Shelly Preston]

Wow !! I bet the neighbours did not expect that.

Talking about pride can be strange at times. I did wonder why the neighbour chose to focus on the crossdressing aspect, since pride is so much more.

[Tiffany355]

Crazy to be bigoted about the subject. I too am 99% in the closet about it. But I feel like why? It?s simply clothes. I?ve never once in my life at 47 years old felt sexy or desired the way I feel when I?m dressed up. I wore a kilt to a movie about 2 weeks ago and a woman made fun of it. Lol. I thought to myself, you have no idea girl.

[Sidney]

Some are saying sounds suspicious. I have a brother who is EXTREMHELY homophoic and knows nothing about my fem side. I wore a long sleeve pink dress shirt one day and he went of on how pink is a women's color, I mean for like 30 minutes. There is no taking to him
So yes there people like that out there..

[Stephanie47]

What Char and Di posted did run through my mind as they were neighbor from directly across the street from Maria's house. No matter how discreet one may be, it is probable in the long run a neighbor will see you. I suspect when that occurs they end up spending more time snooping. If that is the case, then the manner in which Maria's wife handled it is probably confirmation of their observations. Either way they needed to be told off.

[Robin-in-TX]

It doesn't strike me as being necessarily suspect. The events happened after a pride parade the preceding weekend. Pride parades tend to have folks from all walks of life and from different parts of the LGBTQ+ community. There could have been people in drag. It would not be odd to me for a bigoted person to seize on that and assume they were sitting with allies. I know that when people know that I am retired from the Army, they make assumptions about my views that do not fit with reality.

The neighbor could easily have misread her audience. Good on your wife.

[giuseppina]

This doesn't strike me as suspect. It seems to me the neighbours were looking for trouble. They got a dressing-down from Maria's wife.

[Territx]

Love your wife's point of view and the example/way she expressed it. You are very lucky to have found someone like her and that both of you have found a balance on the issues facing you as a couple -- we all have them!