Your outfit is SO CUTE! Where did you get it?!

[leliani]

Very often I see a GG wearing something super cute that I would love to try to find and buy it for myself. But I've always been worried about how it would go if I compliment a girl on her outfit and then asked where she bought it.

I tried once in an electronics store of all places. There was a woman in line in front of me and she had some dark brown thigh high leather boots on. They were super cool...and she looked amazing in them. I was in guy mode...but seeing those boots made the pink cloud form over me. I waited for the opportune time and quickly said "Your boots are super cool!" She gave me weird look and didn't engage any further. It was a little deflating, and I didn't push it. So we checked out and went our separate ways.

Has anyone ever complimented a random GG on her outfit and asked where she bought it? How did it go? Were you in guy/girl mode?

[bridget thronton]

I have occasionally offered a stranger a compliment - but usually while waiting in line and talking a bit about other things

[Karren H]

I have had women compliment me on my outfit and boots and ask me where I bought them, twice while checking out at a clothing store and once at a casino. But never the other way round.

[Crissy 107]

I like to see what the ladies are wearing and if I would like it for myself. I do not think I would ask where they bought it as it would be awkward.

[kimdl93]

No, I do not strike up conversations with women. Its way to easy to come off as a creep. On the other hand, if a woman engage me in conversation, I will happily reciprocate. The rule applies regardless of how I may be dressed.

[alwayshave]

Leliani, I was in an upper end men's shoe store and the young lady helping me was beautiful and the dress she was wearing was just beautiful. When I was checking out I stated, "I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, but that dress is just beautiful." She smiled and said, "Oh, thank you."

[char GG]

My guess is that depending how you say it, they will respond with a "thank you". Don't expect further conversation though.

I witnessed this with a male co-worker and who I suspect is a CDer. We work together at a concert venue, and he (in guy mode) was telling many women (quite excitedly) that he loved their dresses and shoes. Most just said "thank you" and went on their way.

(The reason that I suspect he is a CDer is that he gushed about particular details about the clothing, such as ruching, asymmetrical hem, peplum, block heels, peep toes, (things most non-CDers don't know or care about).

[Sandi Beech]

When I am crossdressed, it happens both ways, but I usually just give compliments and do not ask where they bought items.

When in drab mode I can only think of two recent occurrences where I gave compliments. Both were very well received but again, I did not ask where they got their clothing. I can see how it might come across creepy if you are not careful.

The two I complimented were at the airport and grocery. Both were in very attractive business attire. I just said something like - you certainly look sharp today, or something like that, but it went no further in discussion. They both appreciated it.

Sandi

[GretchenM]

I think a clothing complement out of the blue can often be taken as a bit threatening or intrusive into personal matters by a stranger. That triggers a defensive posture. Bridget's approach seems to be the most likely to not trigger a defensive posture. But irrespective of what your actual gender orientation actually is, as a stranger you are viewed as male if you are expressing male in clothes. These days many women have to put up with a lot of misogynistic males. Be very careful about going down that road unintentionally. Even if you are fully dressed there is an initial wariness.

Sandi's approach is excellent advice.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Honestly, I have given comments to women about what they are wearing, and almost always get at least a very polite, "Thank you." There are very few times when I got a vibe that the girl felt threatened. I always try to make my comment about the clothes, not about how the girl looks in the clothes. Sometimes, I start out by sheepishly saying, "I know that a guys is not supposed to notice, but [I really like your dress]."

Sometimes I get some comments back or it turns into a conversation. For example,

Me: I love that perfume that you are wearing.
Her: It's Hanae Mori Blue Butterfly perfume. It turned into a long conversation and she made sure that I knew how to spell it.

Me: [To my yoga teacher] I love your blue nail polish. What color is it?
She: [By text] She told me the brand name and the color.
Me: [By text] The one you were wearing last week had more sparkles.
She: [By text] You're right. I thought I had only one blue, but I had two. She told me the brand name and the color.

Me: I love your pendant.
She: Thank you.
Me: Where did you get it?
She: In Hawaii.
Me: Oh. That's too bad. I guess I won't be able to get it locally.

Me: I love how you did your eyes. Especially that 'dart' thing.
Her: You knew that it's called a 'dart'?
Me: Of course I knew. Doesn't everyone?

Me: I love your leggings. Where did you get them?
She: I don't remember. I've had them for a long time.

Me: [To one of my doctors who knows about Steffi] I love those pink shoes. Where did you get them?
Her: TJ Maxx.
Me: I went there, I found them, but not in my size.

I've also gotten a lot of comments from GGs on my clothes.
My black faux leather miniskirt
My denim midi jean dress
My jewelry, including rings, bracelets, watches and necklaces.

[Micki_Finn]

The problem is that all you said was “your boots are cool!” And didn’t add any question that clarified your intentions. If you HAD added “where did you get them?” “How much were they?” Etc. You would have made it clear that your interaction was about her boots. By just blurting out what you did, it probably sounded like a guy trying to make an awkward pass at her.

[NancyJ]

I would say “Zip it.” Women in our society have been harassed for years. Asa result, they are constantly on “creep watch.” The fact that this gal virtually ignored you and your comment would suggest she was uncomfortable. If women are wearing something cute or fashionable, they already know it, and aren?t soliciting your opinion. They can get compliments from their own friends or family. It is a boundary violation (IMO) to offer an unsolicited opinion. Nancy

[Debbie Denier]

Women automatically go into defence mode. What are you after? As others have pointed out they see it as an unwelcome pass . Know your audience and how they would react. It is probably more acceptable with someone you know.

[Heather76]

I have never complimented a woman on an outfit as I don't want her "sexual pervert" radar to turn on. I have, however, recently complimented several woman check-out clerks on their nails. They have each thanked me for the compliment.

[Patience]

Yeah, she most probably thought you were trying to pick her up.

Kudos for trying, though.

[docrobbysherry]

No, not randomly. I don't need to tell her boots look good. And, why would anyone say that unless they were hitting on her?:thumbsdn:

What Micki said!:straightface:

[TheHiddenMe]

I have occasionally complimented women on their clothing choices, and I've never had an issue.

It's usually followed by an internal dialog of whether said item would look good on me (and earlier this year, I saw what the store manager was wearing and immediately bought it, even though she's 23 and I'm closer to three times 23).

I have gotten compliments on my clothing choices when out dressed.

My GG friend Michelle (who is freakin gorgeous) and I were out shopping on Wednesday. In two different places, a young woman said to Michelle "I love your boots" (they were white cowboy boots, and she was wearing a white summer dress). She just smiled and said thank you.

We all like getting compliments. If you see something cute, say so in a positive way that doesn't come out as creepy. That compliment may make someone's day.

[Genifer Teal]

Me: I love how you did your eyes. Especially that 'dart' thing.
Her: You knew that it's called a 'dart'?
Me: Of course I knew. Doesn't everyone?



Tell us, what is this "dart" thing? Where are you from that they call it that?

- - - Updated - - -

What you're thinking when you take a photo usually shows in your facial expression especially happy or sad but even more subtle things. If you approach a conversation a certain way like I know I shouldn't be talking to you but I really want to know something about your outfit, chances are it's going to come across awkward and that will influence her response. It sad what Society has done to the interaction between men and women by pushing it to the point of being so afraid to even say something nice for fear of being taken the wrong way. Saying don't take this the wrong way isn't going to help either. It tends to create exactly the situation you're trying to avoid. Imagine saying I don't want to seem creepy but XYZ. How is that not going to come across creepy? LOL I think if you add some other fact as you pay the compliment like, I like that dress it's a really nice color or I like those shoes especially the bow detail, the compliment might be taken more for what it is.

- - - Updated - - -

Why do two separate replies automatically get merged? Completely different topics and thoughts. Now this will get merged too. LOL

[TheHiddenMe]

As to the merging, when one person writes consecutive posts the system merges the posts, compressing the three into one. You can edit your post to remove the SIZE=1 inserts.

[MiniRock]

I would say ?Zip it.? Women in our society have been harassed for years. Asa result, they are constantly on ?creep watch.? The fact that this gal virtually ignored you and your comment would suggest she was uncomfortable. If women are wearing something cute or fashionable, they already know it, and aren?t soliciting your opinion. They can get compliments from their own friends or family. It is a boundary violation (IMO) to offer an unsolicited opinion. Nancy

I've been wary all my life of being seen as unwanted - combined with a lot of shyness - that I've genuinely only known a handful of women. But maybe a women who can't accept a compliment with good grace isn't' worth the bother anyway.

Personally, I was blown away by the uncomplicated charm of European women in comparison with our surly British ones. But, as I said, I'm no expert.

My French Moroccan partner would be disappointed if she was out without me and somebody didn't try to "drag" her.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Tell us, what is this "dart" thing? Where are you from that they call it that?


Two answers.

This "dart" thing. I guess I read about it in an article from the Allure magazine some time back. I searched Google pics and didn't see any good pics.

Maybe it's better named "winged eyeliner", when you extend the eye liner well past the outside corner of the eye. Plenty of pics of winged eye liner on Google.

Here's some pics. (https://www.maybelline.com/makeup-tips/eye/eyeliner-makeup-tutorials/12-eyeliner-looks)

I'm from the US "Nation's Capital". When I first joined, I didn't want to be too specific about where I'm really from. I still don't. I didn't then realize that "Nation's Capital" was ambiguous. I wasn't thinking about "Nations" other than US. I've since realized that we have members from Canada, England, New Zealand, Australia, plus numerous other English speakers from other countries.

So, to set the record straight, I'm from Northern Virginia, a suburb outside of the US Nation's Capital, the District of Columbia.

[Connie D50]

I have said to a women in line in front of me I like you shoes, my wife's birthday is coming up can I ask where you got them. If I know the women I compliment they outfits all the time if I like it, however I do not ask where did you get it.

[Jane G]

I have had women compliment me on my outfit and boots and ask me where I bought them, twice while checking out at a clothing store and once at a casino. But never the other way round.

Now I just hate you Karren. :daydreaming::heehee: