at what age did you?........

[michelle19845]

at what age did you start to feel that you were a transgenderist? what kind of feelings did you have?were they interfereing with everyday life and how you feel about your outlook of life? i have been feeling more towards feeling better when i am dressed and more relaxed ,less stressed out etc. what has made others tend to be more of a transgenderist?i found my self wanting to cry when i watched a show that showed kittens in it and how they'd rescued lives,it seemed so sad at the same time it was so great what that cat did.stuff like that makes me feel soft/fem more as time goes by.i feel like my feelings can be hurt easily.is it just me?

michelle19845

[Paula Jaye]

In terms of dressing I am quite a late starter, being in my early forties when I started. I had always envied women's freedom to dress in attractive clothes and the attention they gained by doing so. But it took a long time for me to do something positive about it. Circumstances now mean that I am home based during the day and dress most days and, like you Michelle, I feel more relaxed in female mode. I also find I get more done (probably because I am not think about being dressed). Regarding, the emotional side of things I have always had a tendency to tears at times of sadness or happiness. Yes, even during films and plays. This I put down to my Celtic ancestry.

So short answer is "don't really know". Early forties when I started living the dream but probably a lot earlier. Possibly when I realised I had a name which could be either gender (ambisexual?).

[TGMarla]

I started dressing at age 12. I'm sure I had no thoughts then about being transgendered, as I probably didn't even know what that meant. But by the time I was leaving high school and entering college, I knew I had issues with gender, or at least gender presentation. I spent a lot of years envying women, and wishing that I had been fortunate enough to have been born female. It wasn't until I was approaching 40 that I came to terms with it, accepted myself the way I am, dropped the baggage, and moved forward.

[Daintre]

I can remember dressing in my sisters clothes very early in my childhood, my sister was 2 years older than I. It was when I was in grade 5, 11 years old, I was eavesdropping on a conversation between 2 girls and a boy, the boy was asking if the girls could make him into a girl. Somehow this sparked something in me, and I just knew that it was what I wanted to. I remember it was shortly after that I caught a bus downtown, went to a dept. store, bargain basement and after so many attempts at buying a pair of panties.....finally buying a pair (oh my were they ugly) I was so ...ummm....excited over what I did, looking back, I really believe this set me on my way

[Tiffy]

I started dressing around the time I turned 7. But, I never knew what it was. I was not very aware of transgendered anything until I was about 25. Happy I know now. I would not change if I could now.


Kisses, April Marie

[ChristineRenee]

The realization that I was TG actually came only about 5 years ago ...although I believe now that I have probably being this way most of my life and that it either was dormant in me for all this time, or that perhaps I have subconsciously tried to repress or deny it for the majority of my life. I just know I got very tired of looking into the mirror and seeing a male body that did not jibe with the image I had of myself internally is all, and that I wanted to do something to "modify" the outside to bring it somewhat closer to how I felt about myself internally. I started out doing herbals alone for about 2 years with zero results...so that is when I went to my doctor and had a consultation about being gender dysphoric. From there...and under her care and supervision...I started on an HRT program with the idea of doing this for 2-3 years depending on how I was achieving my goals. I am into my 3rd year now of the program and have achieved some modest success, albeit the negatives with doing HRT have been more acute than I originally had anticipated. I never started this with any idea of going on to do SRS (or GRS as they refer more to it now), and perhaps if I had known how the negative effects would be, and that the gains would not be quite as substantial as I had originally hoped for, I may have reconsidered doing it. As it stands, if anyone asked me today if this is something I would recommend doing, I would have to honestly say no...especially if you aren't going to fully transition and particularly if you have a wife or an SO whether they are supportive or not. I mean...I do enjoy having breasts...even if they aren't the size yet that I have sought to have...but with all the other factors considered...including the health risks...I'm not sure that it was really worth it all in the end.

My experience should indicate to all of you...and particularly you GG's...just how powerful these feminine feelings and desires within us can be....particularly when you feel that you definitely ARE TG and not just dressing to bring out your femme side. Your average guy just doesn't act on these feelings and take the steps necessary to achieve these outward feminine attributes without a lot of female dwelling within him. I am a composite male and female and did this because I felt...and still do...that Chrissie is the predominant part of who I am totally as a person. If I hadn't felt that strongly about that...I never would have undertook doing HRT at all. It was a very, very personal decision. One that did not come easily for me, and one that I knew was going to upset my wife and cast more doubt in her mind about whether or not I was going to take the final step on to GRS. We have had a lot of talks since about this...and I do feel that she understands me better now and knows that I have no desire to fully transition. But understanding and accepting aren't the same thing either...but I am very pleased...and very lucky...that she has made...and is continuing to make...the effort to understand both the "man" she married...and the "woman" that lives inside of him.

I do hope that this post provides some insight for all of you here in the community as to what being transgendered is like. Much like a man cannot know what it is like to be a woman...and vice versa...the non-transgendered cannot possibly know what it is like to be us either. I honestly would not "wish" this on anyone...and I continue to make the best of it and to try to be the best PERSON that I can be in our society. It is all I can do really.

Thanks for listening girls.:happy:

[Angela Burke]

From before I can remember, I was told by my Mother and sisters.
My first memory of dressing as a girl was aged about 5yrs at home with my youngest sister wearing a grey pleated skirt, white blouse, v-necked sweater,
navy blue knickers, white ankle socks and a pair of strappy sandals.
I used to have a photo of myself dressed almost the same (navy or black skirt), I would love to find it !
The first clothes I bought for myself were two skirts with my paper round money when I was about 12.

[michelle19845]

your responses are appreciated very much ! i just get to where sometimes i feel like i could go a lil further to make myself feel better and not so stressed out and full of anxiety.i could also feel more secure on releasing my feminine side.it's such a .........on the edge.........just can't describe it,that i feel and i wonder how much better i would feel about myself.i hope time solves my problem and things fall into place as they should be,however that is.thanks again!



michelle19845

[deeasheville]

One of my earliest memories is of being dressed in my 3 years older sister's clothes and playing with her and one of my brothers, I may have been 4 or 5 years old at the time. I don't know if I had gotten dressed that way on my own, or if I was helped or made to dress that way, by my sister.
I do know that I liked the way the dress felt.

I vaguely remember asking my mom why I could not wear nice dresses like my sister and being told that boys don't wear dresses and that I was a boy. I steel did not know what that ment. (It was then that I started sneeking around and dressing).

It was not until I heared about the transexual tenis player, that I knew what I was and that was not and would never be a man.

I did not come out to my parents until I about 35 years old.

Now at the age of 55, I live more as a woman than as a man, in fact my only dressed fully as a man at work.

[Clare]

I started dressing at age 12. I'm sure I had no thoughts then about being transgendered, as I probably didn't even know what that meant. But by the time I was leaving high school ... I knew I had issues with gender, or at least gender presentation. I spent a lot of years envying women, and wishing that I had been fortunate enough to have been born female. It wasn't until I was approaching 40 that I came to terms with it, accepted myself the way I am ...You reading my mind Marla? Yes, I can identify with Marla's views exactly!

I have just reached the stage where i'm starting to dress predominately in femme clothing (outerwear that is) on a consistent basis, but I have a way to go yet before I can say that all my clothing, shoes, etc are totally female. My collection of femme clothing that I wear in male mode ranges from sports apparel to casual jeans & tops along with a couple of pair of ankle boots which could be mistaken for a unisex style (although the heels are slightly pointy).

However, I have already totally converted to feminine health/beauty products in my normal everyday life. They range from basics such as deodorants/body sprays, through to daily facial creams, peel-off masks, etc... (aside from my makeup collection).

And I agree about the "being less stressed" when in girl mode, even if in a small way as opposed to a "full on" crossdress session! Just knowing I have on a pair of women's Levi jeans in a tight bootcut design (style # 553) is plenty femme for me in outdoor casual mode!


I honestly would not "wish" this on anyone...Yes Chrissie, I have to agree. It's taken me thirty years of confusion and questioning my sanity before coming to terms with why i'm "different" and don't conform to society's expectation of my natural sex/gender.

[Eugenie]

Even though I started X-dressing quite young, around 10, it is fairly recently that I have started to feel more and more the desire to be "femme" as much as possible. I have done regular exercises to enhance my breasts, I have eliminated most of my body hair.

Unfortunately, my wife is not supportive at all and sees that transformatoin very negatively. In fact while she thought my travestism was a form of sexual fetishism, she tolerated it rather easlily. But as I became more and more eager to just live "en femme" rather than looking for sexual satisfaction through wearing sexy underwear, she became quite unsupporive, even though she let me have my clothes in my wardrobe. She will however often make indirect critical comments "Your (male) clothes are all wrinkled, there's too much clothes in your wardrobe." And indeed there are now more women clothes there than man clothes.

For the moment my wife's activities take her often on business trips, which gives me enough occasions to live my femme side.

I dread the future when she will retire as I seem to feel more and more the need to live "en femme"...

Eugenie

[Jeanette TS]

Hi as dressing at the age of about 5-6. in my sisters cloths. So i was lucky having a sister about my age. The funny thing is my mum us to see me and said nothing. Well i have moved on from then and i am now TS and going all the way and i am alot happier as well :cheeky:

Lov Jeanette

[Harriet]

I was probably 4 or 5 when I started recognizing that I should be a girl. I was unable to do much about through my high school years. Actually, I can never remember not wanting to be a girl/woman.

[Sarahgurl371]

Michelle its not just you.

Earlyist memory of dressing is getting caught at about age 7. I do not remember why I was doing this. No sisters, not alot of girls in the neighborhood. Apparently it just struck me. Continued dressing thru my teens and early twenties. This was what could be viewed as mostly a fetish type thing. Like Eugenie said above, my wife seemed OK with it all when it was "just a sexual thing". But as time progressed I found myself wanting more. Wanting to be seen as a woman. Most definately not wanting to look like a man in a dress.

I think for the most part, I only allowed myself to view this all as a fetish for most of my life. Then I would shame and guilt myself into denying things again. Usual purges and things like that. But at this point in my life, I am 34, I find myself starting to remember all the "wanting to be a girl" thoughts from my teens. I have always been so enthralled by woman and everything about them. I guess I am starting to realize that there is more to this than I would admit for a long, long time.

As far as personality traits, I feel that I posses more feminine qualities than masculine. I have a very emotional side, but keep it tightly locked away from anyone else. I feel as though I have never fit in with the "guys". This is evidenced by my wifes observations as well. I am not aggresive, dominant, etc, and she says that intimately I make her feel as though whe is with a woman.

It is all so confusing. What does it all mean? This all occupies my brain everday, most times all day. I have pondered many hours over all the details. For me, its important that I am being true to myself. Not misleading myself or caught up in some "sexual" high.

[AngelAshley]

I too started dressing at a very young age, never really knew why.... just that it felt really good and natural. I had my first ever orgasm wearing a pair of black panties :)
After lots of internet research & talking to people, I discovered I was transexual at about 17-18 and went to my GP very soon after that. Been progressing ever since, started going full time in November, going on hormones & speech thearapy next week :D

[Kim E]

I was very young, probably 5 or 6, when I realized that there was something wrong. I was being punished by my father for wanting to wear clothes like the neighbor girls. He also forbid me to play with girls. I remember being upset for being punished for just being myself. Over time I was able to conform by modifying my behavior to suit my father's wishes and stop his abuse.

When puberty hit at about 12 years old, I went through severe physical and emotional changes that convinced me that I was born the wrong gender. That was just the beginning of things going from bad to worse.

Kim