Dana
04-10-2006, 09:10 PM
Over the last couple months, the subject of being a MTF CD, and being married has come up on more than a couple of times, (oftentimes in painfull ways for those initiating the thread ~ to which and for which I had much empathy! :( )
This forumn has helped me tremendously in getting my head wrapped around all of this and especially in the area of self acceptance.
Brina's recent thread ~ has been more than interesting ~ its been down right informative and educating. I'm glad to see some of the GG's post ~ becuase I was thinking that it was just my perception ~ and questioned that ~ of the situaton.
Being TG is an interesting thing ~ if you stop to think about it! Just about the time you've get it wrapped around your head, start accepting it as a fact of life, begin reconciling your life with it ~ and incorporating it into your life ~ you turn another stone and find yet another mystery and the answer to it is reveled to us! "Reality! What a concpet!" as Robin Williams would say.
Since I've been a member of this fourm, my perspective, my attitude has changed. I've grown, mentally, emotinally, pyschologically, and I guess I would dare say ~ spiritually in some ways.
For the better part of my life ~ I've been in self denial of it all ~ and have tried my very best to "live it down" all to no avail. I've now have come to a level of self aceptance to where I've accept the fact that this is a part of who and what I am as an indivdual ~ always have been and always will be.
I have also come to understand that there are always going to be people such as Brina who have zero tolerance and zero acceptance of this "lifestyle" that in their minds we've 'choosen'
Interstingly, (and this is subject fodder for another thread) how many of us choose to be TG? When did it happen? How did it happen ~ that we came to make this choice?
I now seriously question if its us TG's folk that are "screwed up" and "wrong"
I really don't think so! I think its societie's and our culture's intollerance of anything outside of the mainstream as to what is defined, and construed as normal? Whatever in the world "normal" is?
Western civilizatoin would have us all believe ~ via any number of mediums ~ that what is "normal" is something akin to "Leave It To Beaver" or "Father Knows Best"
When in truth, Wally was probally a punk, hanging out with a gang of thugs, conducting under-age drinking if not drugs, and have sex with any teenage girl he could persuade. Cleve was probally running around on the wife, and had a serious drinking problem. The wife was probally a closet drunk, and the Beaver was into who knows what?"
If you've got a good ~ hearted, loving, caring, sensitive, man who is empathic toward you, who has a good job with good pay and beneifits, who is a good provider, who doesn't lie, cheat nor run around on you, who is good to you and for you, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, who is a good provider, overall good husband to you ~ and father to your children (regardless of if they're your children or the children of another man) who doesn't drink, snort, gamble away the rent and / or grocery money each month..........................so what if he likes to wear women's clothing, jewelry, and makeup when noone else is around?
If he's pulling a 4.0 in any and all other areas of yours, his life ~ marriage, you don't can him just because he's not scoring it (according to your grading scale) in just one area! You don't throw out the baby with the bathwater!
Me? Just like anyone else I am much more than just the sum of anyone given part of me ~ I am the sum total of all that makes me ~ that makes me the unique individual that I am.
Women in America at least have gone through ~ (and are still going through it) the Women's Liberation movemet. There were wrongs ~ for sure and certain and things needed to change, laws needed to be amended~! Women needed to have the right to vote ~ the old divorce laws were entirely skewed in favor of men ~ no question about it! Well guess what? For the most part ~ you've won.
So much so, that many men are leary of even getting married again ~ ever! Nothing agiainst women, nothing against marriage ~ its just that you reach a certain point in your life to where you cannot just keep going through all that over, and over, and over again. You reach a certain age in your life to where you just cannot afford to keep going back to WalMart or whereever and keep buying the same stuff over and over again that you've already bought.
"Traditional ~ normal" women crack me up! That want a "real" man! A "normal" man, and if they came across a hetro CD, they would dismiss him out of hand to go running into the arms of traditional man ~ who drinks, lays out with his buddies, spends way to much time on the golf course, way too much time fishing, is way to obsessed with sports, NASCAR, whatever his passion is.
In closing, I'm just throwing random thoughts out here ~ yours as well as your opinions are welcomed.
This forumn has helped me tremendously in getting my head wrapped around all of this and especially in the area of self acceptance.
Brina's recent thread ~ has been more than interesting ~ its been down right informative and educating. I'm glad to see some of the GG's post ~ becuase I was thinking that it was just my perception ~ and questioned that ~ of the situaton.
Being TG is an interesting thing ~ if you stop to think about it! Just about the time you've get it wrapped around your head, start accepting it as a fact of life, begin reconciling your life with it ~ and incorporating it into your life ~ you turn another stone and find yet another mystery and the answer to it is reveled to us! "Reality! What a concpet!" as Robin Williams would say.
Since I've been a member of this fourm, my perspective, my attitude has changed. I've grown, mentally, emotinally, pyschologically, and I guess I would dare say ~ spiritually in some ways.
For the better part of my life ~ I've been in self denial of it all ~ and have tried my very best to "live it down" all to no avail. I've now have come to a level of self aceptance to where I've accept the fact that this is a part of who and what I am as an indivdual ~ always have been and always will be.
I have also come to understand that there are always going to be people such as Brina who have zero tolerance and zero acceptance of this "lifestyle" that in their minds we've 'choosen'
Interstingly, (and this is subject fodder for another thread) how many of us choose to be TG? When did it happen? How did it happen ~ that we came to make this choice?
I now seriously question if its us TG's folk that are "screwed up" and "wrong"
I really don't think so! I think its societie's and our culture's intollerance of anything outside of the mainstream as to what is defined, and construed as normal? Whatever in the world "normal" is?
Western civilizatoin would have us all believe ~ via any number of mediums ~ that what is "normal" is something akin to "Leave It To Beaver" or "Father Knows Best"
When in truth, Wally was probally a punk, hanging out with a gang of thugs, conducting under-age drinking if not drugs, and have sex with any teenage girl he could persuade. Cleve was probally running around on the wife, and had a serious drinking problem. The wife was probally a closet drunk, and the Beaver was into who knows what?"
If you've got a good ~ hearted, loving, caring, sensitive, man who is empathic toward you, who has a good job with good pay and beneifits, who is a good provider, who doesn't lie, cheat nor run around on you, who is good to you and for you, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, who is a good provider, overall good husband to you ~ and father to your children (regardless of if they're your children or the children of another man) who doesn't drink, snort, gamble away the rent and / or grocery money each month..........................so what if he likes to wear women's clothing, jewelry, and makeup when noone else is around?
If he's pulling a 4.0 in any and all other areas of yours, his life ~ marriage, you don't can him just because he's not scoring it (according to your grading scale) in just one area! You don't throw out the baby with the bathwater!
Me? Just like anyone else I am much more than just the sum of anyone given part of me ~ I am the sum total of all that makes me ~ that makes me the unique individual that I am.
Women in America at least have gone through ~ (and are still going through it) the Women's Liberation movemet. There were wrongs ~ for sure and certain and things needed to change, laws needed to be amended~! Women needed to have the right to vote ~ the old divorce laws were entirely skewed in favor of men ~ no question about it! Well guess what? For the most part ~ you've won.
So much so, that many men are leary of even getting married again ~ ever! Nothing agiainst women, nothing against marriage ~ its just that you reach a certain point in your life to where you cannot just keep going through all that over, and over, and over again. You reach a certain age in your life to where you just cannot afford to keep going back to WalMart or whereever and keep buying the same stuff over and over again that you've already bought.
"Traditional ~ normal" women crack me up! That want a "real" man! A "normal" man, and if they came across a hetro CD, they would dismiss him out of hand to go running into the arms of traditional man ~ who drinks, lays out with his buddies, spends way to much time on the golf course, way too much time fishing, is way to obsessed with sports, NASCAR, whatever his passion is.
In closing, I'm just throwing random thoughts out here ~ yours as well as your opinions are welcomed.