Confession, apology, and wow that was close!

[Rebecca Cross Bracer]

Confession: I mostly lurk here, but had to share this. I sometimes read some of the ?close call? posts on here and think, ?this is BS, no way that happened.

Apology: for anyone I?ve doubted in my head, I?m sorry.

Wow that was close: I live in an apartment with a woman. The only things we see eye to eye on are the benefits of splitting rent, and her wardrobe. We interact very little and that?s ok for both of us as we have our own lives. She travels a lot, I don?t, but I ?share? her clothes when she?s gone. Yesterday I was enjoying the day in my office wearing only pantyhose and a t-shirt, she was supposed to be gone until tomorrow when I hear her come in! I?m separated from my room with no clothes to cover up in a chastity cage and pantyhose. Needless to say I was terrified. The key to the cage was on the kitchen table, and I couldn?t go anywhere. I knew she wouldn?t come to my office, but I also didn?t know where she was at so couldn?t get to my bedroom, or the key in the kitchen. Thankfully she left about two hours later and could breathe again. On an extra lucky note, I hadn?t been in her closet yesterday.

[Karren H]

If you both see eye to eye about you sharing her clothes while she is gone then I don’t see what’s the issue. Obviously she must know you crossdress.

[Rebecca Cross Bracer]

Well, we don?t see eye to eye about me using her clothes. We see eye to eye about her having sexy clothes. She does NOT know I wear them while she?s gone. She?s a slob. I can almost always pick up something off the floor I can easily drop back in the same spot, or pick something from the closet I can easily return. She most certainly would not be ok with me raiding her wardrobe.

[Aka_Donna]

Get over the trill of doing something bad. Even CD's with wives report there will be blow ups over invading their space and taking items without asking. This behavior is keystone cop, a bad guy timing the bank robbery when the police make their rounds. There are better way to get thrills. Besides it's much more fun to buy your own goodies than just taking hand me downs. Ask anyone who has had to wear older sibs clothes

[Jenniferr]

You speak of her so negatively, I wonder what keeps you there? You could find another roommate to split the rent and with any luck, one that also has great taste in clothes. Alternatively, since you don?t get along, what would it hurt to let her discover you wearing her clothes? Probably just a fantasy, but maybe you two could find common ground about sharing her wardrobe.

[Helen_Highwater]

You need to get your own stuff! "Borrowing" an SO's clothes is one thing but a flat mate's is asking for trouble.

As you've now discovered, things can go south very quickly. A zip that sticks, a spilled drink that stains, a tear, all these are traps waiting to catch you out.

And as you don't get along you could find yourself outed online as some will seek revenge.

From wearing her things you should know your sizes. You've no excuse not to shop online.

[SheriM]

Rebecca, although I agree that it is not a good idea to share/wear her clothes, I'm not going to berate you. I think you now realize the potential consequences and maybe will not ignore them in the future. We have all done things we regret. I do think it would be a good idea to try to get along with her. You may have to accept some of the things that irritate you. Life is so much more fun when we are happy.

[Rebecca Cross Bracer]

Very interesting where the ?constructive feedback? went here. I didn?t need judged. There?s lots of details of my living arrangement I left out because they weren?t important. I know I shouldn?t be wearing her clothes. I have plenty of my own stuff, it?s just fun to wear something different sometimes. My goal here was to acknowledge I found myself in a spot I didn?t expect, and that I now realized what others here have expressed in the past. That was all.

[Shelly Preston]

I know you have found yourself in a spot you did not expect.

Now just imagine where you might find yourself, if she finds out you are wearing her clothes.

Also if you have done it a few times she may suspect something.

Some women have a sixth sense to notice if an item is out of place.

I think you may be treading on very dangerous ground.

[GretchenM]

I agree with the others - your path is leading to a lot of trouble. Women have a much better sense of smell than men. Stay out of her clothes because I suspect she can smell you in them and it is likely she already knows. You can't detect your own odor; she can. Goodness, that is private personal property of someone who you don't even have much of a relationship with. Why do you think you have a right to do that? A wife is one thing, but a roomie? Oh, my! I don't think you are doing anything to improve the relationship; instead you are harming the compatibility of two people who are trying to sharing the same living space.

[Patience]

Well, we don?t see eye to eye about me using her clothes. We see eye to eye about her having sexy clothes. She does NOT know I wear them while she?s gone. You can rationalize your housemate's flaws all you like, but you are the one committing the larger trespass.


Very interesting where the ?constructive feedback? went here. I didn?t need judged.Believe it or not, the feedback you are getting is constructive. You may not take it in that spirit, but imagine someone else were doing to you what you're doing to your housemate.

I agree with others, get your own pretty clothes. Apart from everything else, if the lady you live with is really such a slob, why would you want to wear her clothes in the first place?

Glad you're showing some contrition, at least. There's hope, yet.

[Natalie5004]

All I will say is "YIKES" can you imagine the fight that will come from that?

[Krisi]

If you crossdress in a home with someone else, it's not a matter of "if" you will get caught, it's a matter of "when" you will get caught.

You describe a very strange living arrangement, but my suggestion is that you have a talk with her and explain to her that you sometimes like to wear women's clothes. Then you will not have these close situations.

[Stephanie47]

Rebecca, if you thought the "almost got caught" stories were BS, you found out differently since it happened to you. Surely, you read in those accounts there was comments. One element is you were almost caught wearing women's attire, and, in a chastity cage to boot. Yikes! That would have been an interesting conversation. The other element is you don her clothing. If your relationship is purely financial, splitting housing costs, then there is a high probability she may find your donning her clothing as "creepy" and an intrusion into her private space. There's a lot of peril here.Why don't you take the facts of this thread and post it in "Ask a GG" a question. You know what the answer is going to be.

There's a lot of things I do where I do a "risk vs reward" before I do it. You do run the risk that she will quickly vacate the apartment and you're stuck with 100% of the rent and may have your personal information spread on social media. I don't know if you considered the negative outcomes.

[Karren H]

Me thinks you confessed to the wrong crowd! Lol.

[Leslie Langford]

In your OP, you talk about reading "close call "posts here and thinking "this is B.S., no way that happened".

Then you regale us with a fantastical story about sharing an apartment with a woman you barely get along with and whom you have little in common with except for a fondness for wearing her clothes (although she apparently doesn't know that), almost being caught wearing only a chastity belt and pantyhose, and feeling little remorse for this invasion of privacy as that trumps your need for self-gratification.

To use your own words, "this is B.S., no way that happened".

[docrobbysherry]

My 2 cents:

Your roommate doesn't know u dress and almost caught u. So what? From what u say she probably wouldn't care!

So, why haven't u told her? Because she will worry about creepy u wearing her clothing, rite?:eek:

Why don't u buy sexy clothes of your own? Is it because you're poor or that u get a kinky thrill out of wearing your roommate's?:o


"Almost caught", indeed! And, u expect sympathy from us? Well, your innocent roommate has mine!:straightface:

[Rebecca Cross Bracer]

In your OP, you talk about reading "close call "posts here and thinking "this is B.S., no way that happened".

Then you regale us with a fantastical story about sharing an apartment with a woman you barely get along with and whom you have little in common with except for a fondness for wearing her clothes (although she apparently doesn't know that), almost being caught wearing only a chastity belt and pantyhose, and feeling little remorse for this invasion of privacy as that trumps your need for self-gratification.

To use your own words, "this is B.S., no way that happened".

There?s literally zero reason for me to make this up. Attention seeking is the last thing I desire. Full circle back to my apology, I totally understand how ?fantastical? it sounds.

As to the invasion of privacy, knowing how crossdressers ?develop? it amazes me how any of us would cast stones at others. I?d be shocked to find out there?s more than a small few that start off by going out and getting their own stuff. I?m far beyond ?starting off?, but for any of us to act like we?ve never invaded someone else?s ?privacy? is beyond rich. I said it before, I?m well aware of my transgressions, I didn?t come here for advice on that. I guess I?ll go back to lurking because a debate on ethics wasn?t what I was interested in.

[Dutchess]

Me thinks you confessed to the wrong crowd! Lol.

Its this ^^^^

This is pretty straight forum.. some of these folks think its outlandishly racy to wear panties and have long hair so you have to sort of calibrate yourself for your surroundings here...
As for me....a GG (xx-whatever) whos career has been in "adult entertainment "for the last 41 years thinks that If I caught you like that in my clothes I would gleefully take that key and embed it in a big block of ice in the freezer so it would take 48+ hours to get your cage off ...no matter what!!!!

[Aka_Donna]

I didn?t come here for advice on that. I guess I?ll go back to lurking because a debate on ethics wasn?t what I was interested in.

Sorry, Meghan wrecked playing the poor me card for sympathy. The sky is not falling if we don't express sympathy. "threats" of our penalty of lurking are comical at best.

This is not an ethics per se forum, but most definitions of ethics are about how behavior is perceived by a variety of people regardless of backgrounds and religion.

We are not really talking about ethics here, but rather ethos, i.e., expected reactions to a particular type of behavior. Yes, we may push some boundaries but certain behaviors will be like gravity and a common result cannot be avoided. IF you don't want to hear about gravity and live in denial, that is fine, but don't expect sympathy here. If you expect clapping and applause for anything goes and everything you say, then the best place for you may be burning man.

[alwayshave]

Rebecca, I'm not sure why you thought other people's stories were B.S.. As a crossdresser, soon or later you're going to come close as you found out.

[Geena75]

I have no more reason to doubt your story than you would have to make it up. I actually found it rather amusing (I find my own close calls amusing when I look back on them). I have nearly been caught more than a couple times and had to dash into the bathroom and stash my things in the tub or hamper (or did extreme under-dressing) and put stuff away properly later.

One question: chastity cage? That's a bit beyond my experience.

[DianeT]

As to the invasion of privacy, knowing how crossdressers ?develop? it amazes me how any of us would cast stones at others. I?d be shocked to find out there?s more than a small few that start off by going out and getting their own stuff. I?m far beyond ?starting off?, but for any of us to act like we?ve never invaded someone else?s ?privacy? is beyond rich. I said it before, I?m well aware of my transgressions, I didn?t come here for advice on that. I guess I?ll go back to lurking because a debate on ethics wasn?t what I was interested in.
Rebecca, you are right that many of us borrowed stuff. But most of us know better now, and we are trying to make you benefit from this experience and tell you that this is totally wrong, whether the clothes are a relative's or, worse, a stranger's. For women in particular, the sense of having their intimacy violated with such behaviors is very strong (even in a married couple, and I tell this to you from firsthand experience), so don't be deceived by your own judgment about it, since a male can't think like a girl in this area. Now, some of us may say it to you in mild terms, some in a harsher way (and some with humour!), but believe me, all are really trying to help.