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View Full Version : I finally did it!!!



Chrissycd
11-04-2004, 07:02 PM
After years of hiding in my house like a frightened pussy cat, I finally went out en femme for the first time last Sunday night. My gg, who is also my ex, didn't have plans and she suggested we use Halloween as an excuse to finally do it.
So, after we finished giving out treats, we got dressed and she helped me put on my makeup. She did all of my eye makeup for me so it would turn out right, and so it wouldn't take all night. It was both exhiliarating and frightening for me, sitting there in the bathroom as she applied the eyeshadow, liner, and all. It seemed so wonderful to be accepted by her even more than when we were married.
So, she went as a fairy with the wings and all, and I went as a hot librarian because the costume I ordered came in the wrong size and it didn't fit well enough to cover my...well, you get the picture. Anyway, we went to a place that was supposed to have a hip hop show, but it was almost empty and everyone was staring at us, so we left.
The funniest thing about it though was that the first two people we saw when we walked in were a couple of college boys dressed as cds. They looked at me and cocked their heads sideways, unsure whether I was what they thought I was. I presented like a lady, so I think they were confused b/c I'm so tall.
We left and went to a local italian restaurant just to have a late dinner and a few drinks instead. My hair is shoulder length, but I had it pulled back tight into a bun, and I was wearing my unisex glasses that give me the librarian look. I also wore a wine colored turtleneck sweater, a knee length black wrap skirt, matching wine tights, and three inch black slides.
When we walked in, the hostess was about five feet tall, so I made her look like a midget, and I suppose I looked like an Amazon. My wife commented on how big my breasts were as we approached the door, because I wear a C cup, but I'm a tall girl, and they are in proportion, so it was all good. (I think she was a bit envious, perhaps.)
Well, we walked in, and it was just too funny how this little hostess swallowed hard, hesitated a millisecond, and then greeted us and went about seating us. We sat in the bar because nobody would see us in the dining room which was empty.
Our waitress was dressed a bunny, and she was a sweetheart, not even batting an eye, and treating us wonderfully. It was interesting though, how people, especially the guys, went out of their way to walk by our table on their way to the bathroom. Now, I wasn't necessarily the only attraction, of course, b/c my gg is a classy blonde, but I just like to think it was all about me. :p
Nothing really unusual happened until one of the waitresses in the adjoining dining room, stepped over to our table, put her arm around me, and said, "I just wanted to tell you that we are jealous of your great complexion."
I was just thrilled, and smiled as she walked away. Someone said we can always hope to pass and fool the boys, but we will never, ever fool the girls, and I found out that seems to be true, but it was soooo nice that the girls were so sweet and complimentary towards me. It made my night! :)
Another interesting thing was that my gg told me that she knew something was up with me when we were married but she just couldn't put her finger on it. I asked why she thought so, and she said that I was just "different" than most guys in bed. We talked about that some more, and it left me wondering even more whether I really do belong in this body. It has begun to make me think even more about my future.
I wanted to include some pix, but we just didn't take any. Sorry girls! Anyway, I just had to share that with all of you. It was a huge step for me, and I absolutely loved it!!! :)
Chrissy

Amelie
11-04-2004, 07:09 PM
Chrissy, What a wonderful story I just read. I am so glad you had so much fun. it must have been thrilling. Too bad the hip-hop place was empty and people staring. I don't know if this place had dancing, but that is another thrill,,,,, to dance while dressed. You have to try that one night.

I am so gald I read your post, now go out again, I want to read more of your adventures.

Love Amelie

Sweet Susan
11-04-2004, 07:12 PM
What a great story. I loved it, and I'm so happy for you. I know I've never been out with my wife, she only takes me to cd meetings, so I am envious of your experience. What a great Halloween for you and your gg. Susan

Linda-x
11-04-2004, 07:31 PM
That was a fun story to read. I pictured myself on my first outting. Your lucky you had someone with you. Now, when is the next adventure out?

racquel
11-04-2004, 07:42 PM
what a lovely story,am so happy for you.hope your ex will continue to be your "girlfriend".keep us updated.

samantha78
11-04-2004, 07:56 PM
That was a great story and an inspiration to some that have trouble comming out! Your ex is certainly great also. it makes me feel so good inside to see some one else that has come out!

Chrissycd
11-05-2004, 12:13 AM
Yes, it's so true. I thought my world was coming to an end four years ago when my marriage ended, but I think that now, we are more true friends than we ever were, or could have been when we were married.
Thank you, girls for your sweet comments. I still can't believe I actually did it. It seemed so surreal from start to finish, but there was the doggie bag in the fridge the next morning...and the wonderful feeling inside as well. :)
One other thrill, I've discovered is the feeling that I am becoming more and more who I was always meant to be, for all these years, and with each step I take, I feel closer to being entirely happy with my life. It's odd picking up life as usual the next morning though, and when I'm dead tired from staying out so late, it isn't so easy to explain away to friends who don't know. (Oh, my legs are so tired from being out in heels all night... :p
If you liked my story, Samanthajay posted a similar one on 11/3. :)
Chrissy

Wenda
11-05-2004, 12:55 AM
Wow! A dream come true. It sounds as though you have a better relationship with your ex now than when you were married. Interestingly, my gf isn't 100% sure about a sexual relationship with Wenda (would that make her a lesbian?) but, she LOVES shopping with Wenda. In fact, she is a menace to my bank! There is friendship and enjoyment and then there is mania! LOved your posting dear. congratulations. wenda.

Sharon
11-05-2004, 01:03 AM
Chrissy:
What an inspiring story. One day, when I more fully define and finesse my look, maybe I'll try to be as brave as you are.

Nikki A.
11-05-2004, 01:21 AM
Good going glad you had a good time and that your ex is so understanding, I too had a great time on Sunday but on Monday My wife was pissed with me because I so wanted to dress, Things have cooled down now but I guess I'm going to have to cool it with her for a while. All good things come at a cost I guess. :rolleyes:

Chrissycd
11-05-2004, 10:08 PM
It's flattering to be called "brave" but, I've been putting off going out in public for years, so it doesn't really fit me. It may fit "Searching" more though. It has to be like walking on eggshells, and I wish you luck with your relationship with your wife. It seems that this is our biggest affliction, that is, living in fear of whether we will still be loved if we come out and live en femme, as we please. Even though I'm single and I have a wonderful gg to support me, I haven't had a girlfriend, or even a date for a ridiculous amount of time. My biggest fear isn't so much what how my friends or family will react when they all meet Chrissy. My fear is losing my job if I'm found out there. Still, I WILL be going out en femme more and more now. How many of you girls fear the repercussions of being your true self???
Chrissy

Bonnie-OR
11-05-2004, 11:30 PM
Chrissy
Push the modesty aside girl, it was brave, and it sounds like you handled it beautifully. Sounds like you had a great time, and are gonna have many more. Yes Hun, a lot of us fear repurcussion, both in family and professional life. I can only speak for myself, but in the area where ai live, our lifestyle is is still about 50 years out. Anyway, party on Chrissy. Huggs, Bonny

MrforNow
11-06-2004, 01:47 AM
Great story! Halloween is the ONLY time I have ever gone out in public CD and then I had to get a bit tipsy first.

I'm glad you shared this.