Girlfriend Threw a Fit Last Night

[CeCe]

My new girlfriend (of about two or three months) threw a real fit last night when I told her I was getting breast forms.
I have played down the extent of my crossdressing with her because I know my interest and activity in crossdressing is hard for her to take. Nevertheless, I do bring up the subject periodically so she knows this is real and a part of the deal as partners in our relationship.
So far, she has seen me only in panties. She has even bought me panties. So, she is slowly adapting, but maybe the process requires jumping small hurdles one at a time.
I am eager to take the next step and wear at least a bra when I am with her. She told me a while ago that she did not know how she would react if she saw me in a bra. Well, it is going to happen sooner than later.
Last night, after I told her I was getting forms, she instantly got very annoyed. She said that wearing a bra is one thing but filling it with titties was a really huge turn off.
We talked it out into the wee hours, and in the end, it is working out. I am getting the forms. I might even have her help in getting the proper bra for them. It may be a while before she sees me wearing them, though.

[docrobbysherry]

Why is it important that u need to dress around her, CeCe?:straightface:

[Stephanie47]

IMHO, do not get too much invested in this relationship. I think many women view panties as a stand alone fetish. It sounds as if you're going to "creep" into a full blown presentation and expect acceptance. At some point she may snap and that will be the end. Several months ago you were posting about having a boy friend. Maybe, you need to figure out where you're headed before pulling someone along who seems to be reluctant at best.

[Patience]

It may be a good idea to keep your crossdressing and your dating separate. That is, if you want to hold on to both.

Why should your new gf have a say on whether you get forms or not?

[Heather76]

I see no issues with you wanting forms and wanting to dress in front of your gf. I also see no issues if she cannot go along with it. The only issue I see is if dressing in front of her is so important to you that you cannot honor her objections. In that case, it's time to realize the relationship is probably doomed and you both should move on in different directions before either of you has too much time and emotions invested.

[Shiny]

The main problem I see with being in a CD type of relationship with a woman, and even if they approve or get along with it or are DADT or whatever is scope and occurrence. That is, how much and how often. If you are like I was by the time you spring for those "real" silicone forms you are pretty much a long way down the rabbit hole with no prospect of ever coming back. I live alone and finally got tired of denying this part of myself so I just gave in. I don't venture out so pretty much do what I want and dress at home as I see fit. After all its nobody else's business-I don't intrude on others and expect the same in return.

If you are at the "forms" level you are most likely pretty good at your look with makeup and hair and are used to fully dressing and can handle most any heels and know how to move in dresses. As your proficiency improves you start to become a threat because you aren't dressing to just dress, you are morphing into the female personae by your improved looks. Next is how often you dress. If you fixate on it and are good at it it will probably put even the most understanding woman off.

I showed my ex-girlfriend a picture of my legs (my avatar picture) just for fun saying it was a Halloween picture once and she flipped out! I told her I had prettier legs than her anyway but said that as she was half way out the door for the last time.

Hard to say how you will turn out, I wish you luck. But this is just another facet of our "condition" or "hobby" that we must all learn to deal with.

[kimdl93]

You did the right thing by talking things through with her.

[Pumped]

Better to introduce your indulgences now, then after the wedding! If you have a strong desire to dress she needs to be on board or at least understanding.

Rhonda, how may of us here would quit dressing with our SO said "no way!"

[Dutchess]

Rhonda is actually correct.. Cece has zero regard for this woman and she is a prop only ..
The sentence " well its going to happen sooner rather than later " is forcing something on someone.
Let her go be with someone who actually LIKES her..
Not going to argue about it.
Peace.

[Pumped]

I don't know if I agree with her having no regard for her girlfriend. We tell CD'ers to be themselves and now we are supposed to hold back and be concerned of a two month girlfriend? Best to get it out in the open now than after the wedding.

The sentence " well its going to happen sooner rather than later " is forcing something on someone.

Don't most of us "force" ourselves onto our unsuspecting SO? We hear it time and time again that once you start dressing there is no stopping, so we force it onto our SO's to deal with and see how they react.

I take CeCe's comment as simply being straight forward, and that her SO was going to have to deal with it sooner or later.

[mbmeen12]

Good luck and respectfully, that' her red line.

[Shelly Preston]

CeCe

Playing down the extent of your crossdressing was seen by her, as you telling her lies.

I know you talked, but you have to remember to listen as well.

Everyone has limits and you have to respect hers.

[NancyJ]

I have been with my wife nearly 50 years. She has known about my dressing for at least 40. In the beginning she told me that she did not want to see me in a bra, and she still hasn?t. My bras are in my underwear drawe, so she knows that I have them. I respect her limits. She has never seen me in more than panties and stockings. I respect her limits. She tolerates my dressing, will never love it. Nancy

[Genifer Teal]

I don't feel there's any forcing here. The Bold statement she's going to see it sooner or later is just the truth. We all present ourselves gradually to our potential mate. If you're trying to sell a car you point out the good features first and then you mention it needs brakes, the transmission slips occasionally and so on. You want them to see your true value first before they learn about your quirks.
The difference in filling out your bra is in her mind switching from a guy dressed in women's underwear to a guy who might want to be a woman. And whether or not transitioning enters the equation it certainly appears that way. It's like when women wear men's clothes imagine if they also put something in their pants between their legs. That's the point when it crosses a line.
What you're really saying is you need to be yourself and if the relationship is going to work you need to be yourself around her. I don't think there's any easy way to present yourself and I applaud your efforts. You want her to get to know you a bit to see your value and now you're seeking acceptance for who you are. I don't know if there's an official time frame how and when to do this. It's up to you to decide how much to invest before you may lose it all.
As a consolation we all know this ain't going away and at some point we'll have to be dealt with. Best to know up front.

[Jazzmin]

Wow! Just wow.

Maybe I should keep quiet, not my circus, not my monkeys, but...

It sounds to me like the OP is trying to force his girlfriend to accept his crossdressing. Yes, I said 'he', because in most cases, crossdressers are men with a fetish/kink, they are not Trans. And yes, I said forced, because, despite his GF's hesitancy, the OP insists that "she is adapting..." Adapting to what? His controlling self-centered desires?

The OP states that " She told me a while ago that she did not know how she would react if she saw me in a bra. Well, it is going to happen sooner than later.", so regardless of her feelings on the matter, he is going to do what he wants. That is akin to one's partner saying, "I don't like rollercoasters", and their S/O dragging them onto one anyway.

The OP goes on to say that they "talked it out, and I'm getting the forms." Did the OP convince her, or just browbeat her into agreeing?

And to those that claim that she has no right to dictate what the OP does, you are right. But by the same token, she doesn't have to put up with behavior that makes her uncomfortable! I'm not positive, but I think it was Dear Abby who first said that: "Your right to swing your arm ends at the other person's nose." So, if your partner, BF/GF/Wife/Husband cannot stand or abide "X", do you have the right to force them to indulge or partake in what they cannot stand? What if the OP's GF said "Fine, you want boobs and a bra, go for it. But I enjoy pegging guys with my 10" toy.". and HE said I'm not sure I would enjoy that. And she responded with "It's going to happen, sooner or later", y'all would be up in arms!

A relationship is NOT all about what YOU want, but what each partner brings to the relationship. If people want to crossdress, fine. But if their partner wants nothing to do with it, then why coerce them into accepting it? When I was married, I had my hobbies, she had hers, some overlapped, but if one of us was really into something that the other couldn't care less about, we didn't force each other to participate in that activity. We respected each other's limits and individuality.

I've been reading a lot of threads on this board, and I see a LOT of entitlement here in. People who seem to think that because they want to do what they want to do, everyone, including their partners, not only have to accept it, but embrace it.

[Stephanie47]

Jazzmin, I agree with you with the usage of the male pronoun as it relates to me. I don't know about the "fetish and kink" description as I have repeatedly suggested the usage of sentences and paragraphs to describe a complicated subject. Decades ago, long before the internet and this forum, I used the phrase "Getting in touch with my feminine side." That went over like a lead balloon with my wife; "When you can have a baby, tell me about your feminine side." Over the years I suspect she has mellowed on the subject since she has not said "boo" about my cross dressing. After one particular incidence of me trying to convince her to accept my cross dressing I came to the realization I was engaging in acts of spousal mental abuse. That was somewhere in the mid 1980's. I went cold turkey with the "pushing." It has worked out well. She is supportive of the gays/lesbian and trans community; even having a second cousin transman. I offered up that "I do not know why I do, what I do." No bull about "feminine side." My heart goes out to those who are truly trapped in the wrong body. If that were the case for me, my wife said, and would set me free to be on that journey. Other than that, keep my self interests to self.

How does this relate to the OP? Don't force your desires or needs on a woman who does not want to accept cross dressing. This concept of "Take it or Leave" or "My way or the highway" is too much of male domination coming through towards women.

[Rhonda Jean]

Maybe I'm reading this all wrong, but it sounds like you may view her more as an accessory than a partner. Great that you're upfront about it. Not great if you prioritize crossdressing above her.

In my previous post and actually in a lot of posts I've made on this forum I think I come across as holier-than-thou. It bears pointing out that I've got an ex wife, almost none of the friends I used to have, a broken family, and half the shit I used to have to prove otherwise.

[Jazzmin]

@Stephanie47

That is my point. The OP is 'pushing' their desires on their partner, IMO. And again, I agree that the OP is, consciously or otherwise, attempting to assert male domination and privilege by ignoring their partners wishes and limits. From the words written by the OP, yeah, it's "My way, or no way". He wants what he wants, and she will just have to adapt.

I'm not super smart, and the best way for me to explain my position is by analogy.

Recently, I read a post on Reddit in the "AITA" forum, where a man stated that his teen daughter suddenly decided to become vegan. Mom & Dad accepted this, and even went so far as to change their grocery budget & buying new cookware to accommodate the daughter's new diet. But that wasn't enough for the daughter, who claimed that the dishwasher was 'contaminated' by cleaning plates, pots, and pans that held non-vegan products, and demanded that no one in the house should eat meat. The Dad said enough, and told her that HER food choices were hers, and HIS food choices were his.

IMO, the daughter's sense of self-entitlement, allowed her to dictate what others could or could not do, while disregarding how others felt.

In that sense, to me, the OP is engaged in the same sense of self-entitlement, i.e., "Imma gonna do what Imma gonna do! Deal with it!".

[Di]

Playing down the extent of crossdressing is a mistake and the GG starts to not trust you. First it is this then it’s that, drip drip drip. Be real, be honest
Maybe when you find the one to have a serious relationship with you will start out not playing games so you can have a real relationship where she can learn and understand.& grow together.
The way you speak of her I agree with the Rhonda and Dutchess just a prob, no respect.
I feel bad for her.

[JackieD]

She is only a GF. You should have a talk with her. Tell her you crossdress. She either is good with it or time to find someone who will be ok with you. You don?t want to spend your life playing games with your SO. Sneaky around all the time, being dishonest with your SO. It?s gets old fast

[DianeT]

[...] Well, it is going to happen sooner than later. [...] We talked it out into the wee hours, and in the end, it is working out. I am getting the forms.
Course you are. By your own account she didn't have a say in it anyway.
And the usual "drip, drip, drip" method, for the good of the GF of course. Poor thing, she wouldn't take it (but she can take the forms, oh yeah).
Really disappointed to see you wanting to train rather than love your GF.

[SaraLin]

Cece,

I don't want to join the "pile-on" of attacking you, but you do come across as pretty insensitive to your girlfriend's feelings.

I know it's really impossible to tell from such a short message, but it sounds like the two of you are not compatible and should part ways in peace now - before any real (further?) damage is done.

She isn't on board with your needs when it comes to your dressing. It sounds like she has tried and apparently still is, but I doubt that it will EVER be something that she's happy with.

You don't want to give up your self-expression to fit her needs and there's no reason you should. But it really seems like the wrong thing to do, trying to "force fit" her into your world.

Maybe the two of you should end up in the dreaded "friend zone?" She might be OK with a girly friend - just not a girlfriend.
There is a big difference between the two.

[CeCe]

Thank you all for your comments. They are very enlightening. Thanks to this thread, I see that I need to rethink my approach.
Many of you pointed out how I am not yet very invested in this relationship, which is true. Although we have known each other many years, we have been dating only a couple of months. I broke up with a boyfriend in order to partner with her. I am still feeling like my bisexuality has swung in that direction, and I did what I had to do. She and I are feeling very good together.
I not only told her that I had a boyfriend, I also revealed my crossdressing desires to her early on, so she could decide if she wanted to pursue a relationship that would have no secrets or surprises. In the same way, I am looking for a relationship where I am free to dress how I feel. She knows I own bras. Ideally, I would like to feel free to wear one under my male drab, for instance, when we go out. It is not a must, but if she is not going along with it, I have to decide how important that is or she is to me. Right now, since the relationship is new, I am really hoping she will accept my crossdressing to the point where I can at least underdress in her presence, and not live a life where I can only dress when we are apart. It is not so much that I need for the relationship to be on my terms, I just need to discover what are her terms and limits.
So I am at the point in my crossdressing experience where I would like to try boobs for the first time. Someone is offering me a pair of $220 forms for free. I wanted to tell her they were on the way. No deception by omission.
It took too many years for me to take ownership of my crossdressing. Can I stop dressing for her sake? Perhaps, but I would rather not say yes now and find later that the answer was actually no.I am testing the waters to see if she will join me on this journey. If she is going to bail because of it, we both need to experience that split now rather than continuing to nurture this budding relationship.
Thanks to many of your insights, I will try to lessen the impact. No male domination, forcing her to accept me, using her as a prop, and all the other negatives that were pointed out. I am still trying to sort out how to handle my personal and communal experiences with crossdressing, and wouldn't it be awesome if I could be open and honest with her about my journey in real time?
We shall see if our two-month relationship will last. I am almost 70 years old, so finding another mature woman to date would be challenging. She and I are trying to make it work, but as she says, "we both carry a lot of baggage."

[Di]

Thank you for explaining more and glad you saw it how your girlfriend probably felt it.
Just wanted to say do Not NOT say you are stopping dressing. That also never works/ maybe for a short term but all these years here never long term. Even if you mean it at the time still will not be long term. Best to work it out with your partner, there are ways to compromise many here on the forum can help you with that .
Again I am glad you took the criticism as we meant well and only to help you see other’s feelings.
Best Wishes

[JackieD]

I have to agree. If you are really into crossdressing, It?s a big part of your life. You must clear the air with GF. She can not feel that a bate and switch took place. She feeling its only Pantie. But now it?s dressed 1/2 the time If she can’t accept this part of the relationship, You must end it. You both will be happy in the long run
Nothing is as bad as mistrusting someone, that will stop all respect of each other that will end the relationships in the end

[ChrisP]

You've done the right thing by telling your GF about CeCe. And I think you've done the best thing by not dropping it all on her at a single time.
You also are doing the right thing by acknowledging what's important to you; you make use of breastforms (not a crime) and if the relationship is to continue your GF will see
CeCe wearing them eventually.

It's a mistake to fundamentally change who you are and suppress your desires IF it's simply to please a what a significant other wants. If you love a woman who's vegan, and she tells you
that she can't be with an omnivore, that's a simple enough choice to decide that it's worth giving up meat because of your desire to continue the relationship. But that's not the choice here.
Your enjoyment of femininity involves more than just clothes and that's who you are. You will not be able to keep a lid on this if you're being honest.

Your GF probably thought this was a minor kink, not intrusive into the relationship, and easy to manage. She needs to read more, and maybe find a support group (assuming she wants the relationship to continue).
I think you handled this well, and never criticize the good by comparing it to the perfect.
Much better to cross this bridge now that further down the line.

Make sure you have positive support too.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

It seems obvious to me that the OP is absolutly going to be dressing to the 9s quite soon, and the OP's girlfriend is not ok with that and may never be. The next step, IMO, is to decide how important it will be to dress to the 9s in front of her or if rules could be set up and obeyed if she's not going to be cool with it. We all know you're not going to be able to squash the desire to dress, and we all know you'll never force her to accept what she can't accept. More honest talking should be in your immediate future.

My wife set a few lines a few times and I obeyed them until SHE removed them, but that's me, and I don't have the same desires/needs as you. (And she was already my wife, not a 2-month girlfriend) (sorry if I sound like I'm belittling your relationship, that's not my intent.)

ChrisP ^ There is NO WAY I could give up meat for any woman, even my wonderful wife, and I've told her as much as the topic has come up a few times. Giving up crossdressing would be quite a bit easier. :)

[DianeT]

Your GF probably thought this was a minor kink, not intrusive into the relationship, and easy to manage.
She didn't think so. She was told so. That's the problem with the drip, drip method that you encourage ("you've done the best thing...").

- - - Updated - - -

Cece,

I have played down the extent of my crossdressing with her because I know my interest and activity in crossdressing is hard for her to take.
and

[...]so she could decide if she wanted to pursue a relationship that would have no secrets or surprises.
do not add up.

As for this


I am still trying to sort out how to handle my personal and communal experiences with crossdressing, and wouldn't it be awesome if I could be open and honest with her about my journey in real time?
it's only up to you to decide if you want to be fully honest or keep things from her. If you keep doing the drip, drip method, your girlfriend will keep making uninformed decisions she may regret later.
Also, if you don't know where your journey is taking you, that is an information you must share with her as well.

The problem with not telling a SO everything at once is that you are preventing said SO from making educated decisions. You are controlling the facts s.he bases her decisions on. In effect, you are manipulating he.r using deception, putting this person in the role of the child and yourself in the role of the adult, effectively depriving he.r from her/his free will. This is absolute power over somebody. And in spite of that, taken very lightly by some CDers in forum discussions. Maybe if their SO returned the favor we would hear a different tone.

[Valerie Louise]

The only thing not being mentioned here is that CDs often are convinced themselves that they can stop, or only take it part way. I didn?t give up resistance to the obsession until I was in my late 40?s.
So I guess all CD?s could stay alone until they come to terms with who they are, but I think that?s not going to happen.
I agree the drip drip approach is bad. I told my wife after 30 years of marriage and was able to unload the whole thing because I knew there was no hope of moderating it somehow. Huge risk.
But when I married, I was sure I could walk away from it. As a young person, I was sure of myself, but of course I was wrong. I didn?t tell her then, and it was a lie, a sin of omission. From there, the usual hiding/purging things went on until I accepted that I couldn?t stop. But that was many years later, with no forums like this to help.
I guess the point is, if those of us CDs that lied initially, knew then what we know now, well I think the outcomes would be different. We weren?t inherently liars. We believed we could stop.

[CeCe]

A million thanks to this community for your valuable feedback. I respect that you have more experience. I have not had a girlfriend in many years, so this is the first time I am disclosing my crossdressing to a female partner. Your insights have been revelatory for me, and have refocused and reshaped my mindset and approach to the matter in ways I could not have imagined.
The forms will arrive in just a few days, and this arrival seems like it will be the right time to re-introduce the topic with her. This will give me a few days to crystallize my full disclosure. I am making a list of bullet points so I do not forget or downplay any part of this. If she does not want to hear this, I will honor her choice. At least I will be ready to provide her with the truth.
I already shared with her my history, and the future remains totally unknown, so perhaps I may need to clarify only the present.
*When I am home alone, never in public, I sometimes wear a bra and a dress, and now I will have forms.
*I remain in masculine mode while dressed, and feel no inclination towards feminization or transitioning.
*I am basically a man in a dress. I have no interest in wigs, makeup, jewelry, perfumes, heels, etc.
*She does not have to experience my crossdressing in any way. She does not have to ever see it or hear about it if that is her preference.
Is there anything I should add to the list?
CeCe

[Lacey New]

Just think of things in terms of balance. It?s good that she knows about your cross dressing and that so far, she seems to accept it at some level, albeit small. But quite honestly, if you push too hard, you might lose her. So go slow but also make sure she knows and understands your desire to dress from time to time as well. Hopefully the two of you will reach a point where you ar both comfortable.

[Paulie Birmingham]

i too am a miad. heels are kind of fun. lol. maybe dont rule them out.

[Krisi]

I don't think this relationship is going to last. If you want to take crossdressing further and she doesn't like it, the relationship is doomed.

Think about ending it before it goes any further.

[Pumped]

Krisi, that is certainly a fatalist point of view!

It seems to me that conversation is still open and perhaps some sort of acceptance from the SO might happen.

As long as everyone is still communicating, who knows. CeCe and her SO may come to an agreement and at least accept the CD'ing to some degree. After all, my wife was in the "Hell no!" crowd for a while and did a complete 180 degree turn on her acceptance level, so it does happen.

CeCe, keep talking, keep an open mind. Both of you may have to weigh out the importance of the relationship.

[Valerie Louise]

My only concern about your list is that it is limiting.
When you put the forms in, are you sure the new look won?t motivate you for more? Try to make the upper half more feminine with a wig?
I think it?s better to say you are at THIS point now, but that you MAY explore wearing more items to make your presentation more complete.
I also worry about saying you?ll never go out. At your age, maybe that won?t happen. But to the points made by the cis women in this thread, it?s better to communicate the whole thing, than drip it out. Today it might be no wigs ever. But yesterday it was no forms ever.
I?d make your list indicate that in private for now, you may attempt to present fully as a woman, and while you are closeted now, you might want to go out someday.
Just my opinion, from my own experience. You get one shot at this.

[Di]

I agree with Valerie and would say this is what I do now.
Ask if she wants to be part of it , if not explain there are ways to compromise and get her input.
Explain it is a part of you, and common
Sometimes hard to talk about/ you can remind her what you told her before.
Please really does not have to be a big deal.
Talk when you have time alone , remind her you are still the same person:)
I do not agree it is hopeless, sometimes the initial reaction, but key is being open, give her time to think and ask questions.
And work out something you both can live with.
All of us GG mods and administration here figured things out , several have transitioned partners.
Plus all of the GGs here on the forum are here to make their relationship work , learning and understanding.
Many members here have found what works for their relationships be positive, you are not doing anything wrong.
Best Wishes

[docrobbysherry]

CeCe, u asked if there's anything u should add to your list? I think, yes, absolutely!:thumbsup:

But, nothing from any of us here. We can only speculate! The only important comments will be come from her! :heehee:

[Jazzmin]

Krisi, that is certainly a fatalist point of view!

It seems to me that conversation is still open and perhaps some sort of acceptance from the SO might happen.

As long as everyone is still communicating, who knows. CeCe and her SO may come to an agreement and at least accept the CD'ing to some degree. After all, my wife was in the "Hell no!" crowd for a while and did a complete 180 degree turn on her acceptance level, so it does happen.

CeCe, keep talking, keep an open mind. Both of you may have to weigh out the importance of the relationship.

I have to disagree with you, Pumped. based on the original post, the communications stopped being two-way, when she said that she didn't know how she would feel, seeing him in a bra & forms and his response was to say, "it's going to happen". I can only picture the following late-night talk to consist of him telling her what he wants to do, over her objections.

And while the OP states that they have reconsidered their approach and honor HER wishes if she wants to drop the subject, which I find admirable, I cannot help but think that the OP will continue to push the issue. Regardless of the crossdressing issue, the OP states that they are 70, and yet they still haven't learned to respect others limits and boundaries????

I agree with Krisi, this relationship won't last. And I sincerely hope that the OP proves me wrong, by changing their self-centered attitude.

[SaraLin]

*She does not have to experience my crossdressing in any way. She does not have to ever see it or hear about it if that is her preference.
Is there anything I should add to the list?
CeCe

I don't know about adding to the list, but I think that this part needs to be reconsidered.


In a way, she already has experienced your crossdressing - and no doubt will again.
She has been told about it. It'll always be a part of her awareness about who you are - whether she ever SEES anything or not.

Think about how you'll have to manage your dressing with her in your life, especially if you someday decide to move in together.
Will you have to hide your prettier things, or will it be OK to have them hanging in the closet?
When you want to dress, will you have to sneak in some time do to it, or will you be leaving the house to dress?
How much time will your dressing take away from being with her - or will being with her take away your dressing time?
Whenever you're apart, will she be wondering if you're putting something on?
When you're together, will she be on the lookout for something "extra" under your boy clothes?

Her finding out about your dressing has already changed the whole nature of your relationship. Now, it's time to figure out how -or if- the two of you can find enough common ground to actually build a long-term relationship upon. I see a LOT of long, serious talks ahead. While I remain doubtful, I wish you the best of luck and hope that the two of you can find happiness together.

All my best wishes,
Sara

[char GG]

Lots of good advice here.

It sounds to me like you are "playing it down" too much. Panties are usually hidden; breast forms are obvious.

You may be trying to do the drip drip drip method of attempting acceptance from her. Meaning that you may think that adding a little bit more at a time will get her "used to your crossdressing". My opinion but I believe that method usually backfires. "Slowly adapting" is not acceptance, it's more "putting up with" until she possibly can't deal with it any longer.

Your relationship is fairly new. If you want to continue the relationship, maybe it's time to tell her the extent of your interest in HER and in CROSSDRESSING so you don't waste your time with her, and she doesn't waste her time with you if your needs are not acceptable in her eyes. Please don't play games.

[KristyPa]

Like some mentioned, the desire to dress as a women more than likely will not go away. Us girls have to deal with that if it is a issue for you.
I would never expect any female to except I dress as a female. Each of us has to except that.

[Diane P]

I have to agree with what has been said here by just about everyone. My wife of 28 years just passed away in July. I never had the desire, or thought, to cross dress during the years we were married. I have worn thong underwear off and on over ther last wenty years, whch my wife never knew about. My full cross dressing has only started in the last two months when I suddenly wondered what I might look like in a dress. I feel that if I get into another relationship with a woman, some time down the road, one of the first things that will need to be discussed is my cross dressing. Right now I don't know how I'd do that, maybe trying to talk about women's fashions. The point is that it will need to be discussed and if the other person doesn't accept it then ending the relationship will be the healthy and wise thing to do.

[Genifer Teal]

Dressing in women's clothes is one thing and can relatively easily be brushed off as no big deal by the girlfriend or wife. This can Loosely be compared to women dressing in men's clothes. When you want to have boobs real or otherwise you're crossing a line into wanting to be a woman. This is the big difference to them. Know what you're getting into do what you need to do for yourself it may not be right for her.

[CeCe]

Thanks to all of your insights and comments, I am learning a lot that is helping me navigate this new episode in my life. This is my first girlfriend since I began identifying as a crossdresser.
So far, she says she is okay with my crossdressing because I do it home alone. We are a long way from talking about living together, so me crossdressing under those circumstances may be a discussion for later. Right now, the relationship is too new for us to foresee us living together.
I wear lace underwear when I am with her, several of which she has bought for me. She seemed to approve the two times so far that I have worn a bra under my shirt while out with her. She was the one who suggested I wear a bra when I am with her.
We both seem to be okay now. She asked me once, early on, about the breast forms, and I described my first experience. Neither of us have brought up the topic again. I wear them when I am dressed alone at home, and am happy that this not a secret.
She seems to draw the line at me presenting as a woman in public, but I have no desire to do that.
I think the only thing left unsaid by me so far to her is the quantity of femmewear I own. I will approach the subject soon. She also has not seen me yet in full femmewear, so I guess I need to ask her again how she would feel about the possibility of seeing me with boobs wearing a dress. When I first revealed my crossdressing to her, she simply said she did not know how she would react.
The important positive update is that we are communicating about my crossdressing and we are still together. There is no easy way for a crossdresser to begin a new relationship with a woman, and I am encouraged that so far we have been successful. I feel blessed.