Is the thrill gone?

[Tina Dixon]

Well girls is the thrill gone for me? Since my wife found out about my dressing I just don't have the urge to get dressed up, I like being dressed and even had the time to but I just don't want to yet.

She hasn't said don't ever do it again to me, so may be im in shock, did any of you go through this when you were found out or came out?

Tina

[Sherlyn]

I never went thru that when I was found out Tina ...I actually found the dressing urdge stronger at that point ...however I've gone thru several periods of not wanting ....we all do go thru this and perhaps its coinicidence that your phase hit or was trigged by that.
The thrill like you call it ...never goes ..just takes a rest sometimes ..I did 9 yrs of resting ..when i gigged in bands sooooooooo Im catching up now:) :hugs:

[SherriePall]

Yes, it took me a couple of days to get back to normal after I blurted out my confession and the dust settled.

[Jennaie]

Perhaps the "guilt factor" is in play again. The cure: Any lingerie dept.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Tina

The urge will return but it may feel slightly different. and it may change again if she is happy to see you dressed

[Janelle Young]

That happen to me as well. When past SO's found out, my need to dress went way down. I think part of it was I did not think that I looked that good so I was a bit embarrassed about dressing in front of them. The other part was the huge weight of not having to keep it secrete any more was gone. I am still not sure as to why this made me want to dress less but I think it had something to do with it.

All I can say is the thrill is back for me.

[Annaliese]

Well girls is the thrill gone for me? Since my wife found out about my dressing I just don't have the urge to get dressed up, I like being dressed and even had the time to but I just don't want to yet.

She hasn't said don't ever do it again to me, so may be im in shock, did any of you go through this when you were found out or came out?

Tina
It takes time to adjust, to know where the boundies are.

Anna

[Ms. Donna]

Hi Tina,

Sunspots... Phases of the moon... Bad planetary alignment... Bad Karma... Take your pick.

More than likely, it's the eggshells you're walking on. You don't really know where your wife is with all of this and you don't want to upset things. You're in a sort of 'CD survival mode' if you will.

Have you two spoken about it yet? Not in passing - but actually discussed it? Until you do and there is some understanding on the part you both, you'll both be dancing around the elephant.

Take her out to dinner and have a chat - you're both probably about due.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[size7satin]

When my wife found out she freaked as most do. She asked me to throw everything away. I did. Guilt took over .... Fear of losing what little I had in life at that time.

Why was I like this, it's over she found out I won't do it anymore. Well that lasted a few weeks untill I was out shopping not for me but couldnt resist. It was soon after the internet came into our lifes, what an eye opener for me, I wasn't the only one.

I didn't hide it after that. I keep it out of sight but she knew. 1000's of conversations about CD'ing, I know she knew...lol

She allowed or accepted panties then a year of so later some satin PJ's. That was about as far as we got. I never exposed the dresses, skirts,shoe ect. She was very adamate about how wrong even the lingerie was, even tho she was a tomboy that wore a dress only 2-3 times in her life.

I never could get the point with her that I had been a CD sence I was 8-9.
She didn't want any part of it, but did allow or accepted the few thing she saw me wear. Maybe if she would have lived long enough she would have accepted all of me.

I doubt I will ever be in another relationship but if I do It will be someone that accepts it from the get go. I have had my fill of sorrow, guilt, worrys, fear, sneaking ect. over being who I am.

Tina, I do hope she has an open heart for you, her mind will follow.Best hopes come from my heart to both of you.

[Joy Carter]

I'm going through it now Tina I'll give a body count later in this forum. :gn:

[steffie39]

I've gone through it several times since coming out in August. I remember near last Christmas, I was so looking foward to being Steffie when, poof, the urge disappeared and I didn't really dress.

Sometimes the urge will even come and go all in the same day. The urge had better not leave me now that I'm going to Vegas in a few days. :eek: I'll just die if it does!

Sometimes I'll come to the forum even if I don't have the urge and reading all the girls' posts will help me get back in the swing of things.

Steffie

[talkwithmelissa]

Funny you mentioned this. I just told my wife last week and noticed that the urge went down somewhat. This helps since I am trying to give her time to adjust.

[jackie]

Hey Tina , don't get discouraged babe , Time heals all wounds , or so they say! Sounds like the flood of emotions from all the goings on i your life right now has got u in a strangle hold ,let every thing settle down , clear your head so u can get your thoughts straight, and then hopefully thing will work them selfs out. good luck to u and yours ,Jackie

[Wendy me]

Tina it is just what it is... nouthing more nouthing less..ok so what dose that meen??? simple ok in a short time you have been through a lot with getting busted and all that goes through your mind and waiteing to see what happens .. things you should do are don't just dress to dress in time you will ....just now is not the time to forse or rush it...and most importin don't under any reason purge...that is never the answer....in time things will work out just hang in there....

[Karren H]

Well girls is the thrill gone for me? Since my wife found out about my dressing I just don't have the urge to get dressed up, I like being dressed and even had the time to but I just don't want to yet.

She hasn't said don't ever do it again to me, so may be im in shock, did any of you go through this when you were found out or came out?

Tina

Yes, went through the same thing when my wife found out but it will and did pass. Just hang in there!!!!

Love Karren

[Maureen Henley]

Regardless of the lack of urge, please don't leave the forum. You are one of the brightest lights here. and when you need a friend, remember how many you have here!

[Diannna]

Know just what you mean. After I told my g/f, she was dealing with it. But she said she needed some reading material and thar we had to go slow at it.
Well we went slow alright, She already knew about the panties and then I graduated to a night gown or slip. She was ok with that also. As a matter of fact she rather liked it. But then I was a bit shy or even scared to go farther, fearing what she may think and not saying whats really on her mind. So after about a year or so, I came out and asked her what she really thought. She told me she thinks it is all ok, and was wondering if I had a problem with it all. So here I am with a g/f that pretty much accepts me as and for what I am. See, it can happen. It just took a while, for me that is. now all is better.

[Tina Dixon]

We'll thanks sisters for all the wonderfull feed back, I see that it's just a faze we must go through, glad I didn't toss every thing out when I got found out.

It's just been a roller coaster ride the last four months or so since I started getting dressed in full so i'll hang in there but I will never leave this forum:D

[Jasmine Ellis]

Tina thats good for not leaving the forum, I wish you all the best dear, take care

[AnnaMaria]

Tina,

I would have to agree with the other girls on this one. I think it is a phase we all go through from time to time. I went through it last summer and most of the fall. The only thing that I wore that was girly besides my panties was a bathing suit and shorts. I didn't even put on makup or do my hair the whole time. I just didn't feel like it. Then just before christmas las year I decided to start wearing womens pants instead of mens all the time and the urge came back with a vengance. Now I have 6 pairs of girls pants that I wear all the time instead of the mens pants that are in the closet and I havn't even considered wearing them since that time.

Just take you time with it and don't be in too much of a hurry to get back into the swing. It will return when your inner self is ready for it. Though I am sure that like me a big part of the reason is due to the stress of being outed. In my case the stress came from loosing my grandmother on top of other stresses in my life all piled up at once.

Just remember the most important thing is to talk to her and try to help her understand as best she can what you are going through but don't forget to take into consideration what she is going through as well. It's not easy for her to realize that the person she thought she knew is only part of the whole package. Good luck and remember we are always here for you.

huggs
anna

[Sharon B.]

Tina,
I know the feeling you are going through as I haven't dressed since the first of the year.
I know from past experience, I will go back to dressing, something will set it off and I will be glad I will have my clothes to wear.
Hang in there, it will come back to you.
Sharon B.

[Julie Avery]

Tina, I mentioned in a past thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=392047&postcount=10) that one time after I was unexpectedly hospitalized I didn't crossdress for a long time. I associated it with the whole traumatic hospitalization experience. Maybe that's what you're experiencing right now, backing away from something that caused a traumatic experience. Betcha you'll be dressing up again long before the Lions win a Super Bowl :p

[Amanduhrob]

It took me a while before I dressed after I met Holly. She knew I dressed from our first real conversation, but it just didn't seem natural for me to dress in her presence.

Dressing was such a private, personal thing for me, and one I couldn't share with my ex, so I conditioned myself to only dress when I was alone.

I don't think of dressing as a thrill per say, but I do get a thrill out of buying a new pair of shoes, or a skirt, and sometimes have to wait to try them on.

I'm sure the thrill will return for you, once you and your wife come to an understanding about your dressing.

[Deanna2]

Hi Tina

It is an interesting emotion that you've experienced and I have felt it too just recently when I got more open with my dressing. However, the biggest thrill I get now is not just wearing skirts any time I want, but being able to leave them lay about in the open and not have to make sure everything is put away.

[carol ann]

I do have periods when I am 'switched off' but as I get older the periods become shorter and the times when i want just dress as a girl last much longer.

I now find that I dress in lingerie most days and all day. i may take off my bra an hour or so before bedtime so that the lines don't show but i believei would be happier if I could dress all the time

[Tina Dixon]

Girls it sure has been a up and down period for me thats for sure and so you know im trying get out of the funk, I shaved my legs this morning first time in two weeks and got dressed tonight for a bit and I even posted some new pictures at my post in the picture threads.

Love you all Tina

[Julie Avery]

I shaved my legs this morning first time in two weeks

About time! :cheeky: I was gonna propose that you be renamed "Harry Tina"

[Tina Dixon]

About time! :cheeky: I was gonna propose that you be renamed "Harry Tina"

I was thinking about growing it back truth be told here.