Well this was awkward

[Sandi Beech]

Talk about awkward. This never happened to me before.

So?

Last night I crossdressed and went to a local pub. There was some karaoke going on , but otherwise it was a slow night. I had a few beers and had not talked to anyone other than my female bartender, and not long before I was going to leave, she says the gentleman at the end of the bar wants to buy you a drink. I turned and he waved. At that point I had switched to water since I was driving. So I walked over and thanked him , but I needed to just drink water for a while. We chatted a good long while, and he very much liked how I looked and wanted me to come back.

I ended up going back to the same bar tonight and he was there. The only thing is that when I approached , he avoided looking at me, and I figured out why. Looks like his wife was there tonight, and I do not think she would appreciate him trying to but me drinks, ha.

She had turned and gave me a funny look when I walked over and waved at the guy. I was really just trying to be nice. He is an older overweight guy. I am curious if she asked why the crossdresser approached him as if we knew each other.

I was just being friendly as I had zero interest in the guy other than conversation. I will talk to anyone who is friendly. His actions on the second night seemed weird but it is not surprising.

Sandi

[Helen_Highwater]

Sandi,

Other women can always be seen as a threat by SO's, a husband taking an interest in a CD'er, which as everyone outside our community knows, are all gay, shifts thigs to a whole new level.

[Debbie Denier]

Think you dodged a potential bullet there Sandi. Metaphorically speaking.

[char GG]

My guess is that she is aware of his activity patterns. It's probably not the first time someone approached him in her presence.

[Crissy 107]

Sandi, He put himself in this position which could have led to an interesting conversation with his wife.

[Karren H]

His wife probably saw you at the Castle and did not recognize you with all your clothes on! lol.

[Princess Chantal]

I would bet on that he is a fellow crossdresser!

[Sandi Beech]

It was just kind of weird because because the night before he and another bar patron were telling me how accepting the place is, and he was very chatty. I am one of those types who will chat with anyone who is friendly. I am guessing he did not think about the appearance in front of his wIfe. I meet couples all the time. In fact I met an older couple at the bar last night. Both were very friendly and complimentary. The difference is they met me at the same time. I imagine with some of my attire a spouse would probably be asking how do you know this crossdresser. Hmmmm.

FYI, this bar is a regular bar, not LGBT. Sadly no dancing, just karaoke. It was still nice to get out.

Sandi

[Stephanie47]

The next time you see the guy in the bar you can ask him why his wife acted in that manner. There all sorts of possibilities.A few drinks can lower a person's inhibitions. Some wives are so insecure any interaction by their husband with another woman will set them off. He may have made a full disclosure when he got home as to the encounter with you and she took it as something other than it was.

[Patience]

Think you dodged a potential bullet there Sandi. Metaphorically speaking.Considering the location, it could be literally as well. Nudge nudge, say no more.

You say he was with his wife, but how can you be sure? He might have been on a date, or it might have been a relative.

In either case, as painful as it might be, we have to accept that people who make our acquaintance might feel awkward, rightly or wrongly, if certain people are made aware of that acquaintance.

Since your friend (?)'s demeanor was uncharacteristically standoffish, it might have been wiser to let them initiate the contact (like he did the first time), as now this third person is aware of you and that might determine whether your friend(?) will be able to return there or not.

Never underestimate your own feminine ability to create chaos spontaneously.

[JulieC]

I would bet on that he is a fellow crossdresser!

^^^ What she said.

[docrobbysherry]

Unless she's transphobic? My guess is he felt guilty because he'd been coming on to u.

Otherwise he could easily have introduced u as the trans he'd met last nite!:devil:

[Philipa Jane]

I guess in your place I might have read the signs better.
If he was with his wife and did not acknowledge you surely that should have given you some clue.
Friendly or not some time it is better to stay aloof.

[TheHiddenMe]

No harm, no foul.

You like interacting with others. If women come talk to you (which they do), should you assume they are looking for something more than a chat? Or that they are just being friendly?

So if it?s a man, why should we assume that it's anything more than someone being friendly? If it's an overweight elderly man, does anyone think he actually believes he's got a shot?

The guy may be embarrassed he was talking to you, nothing more, nothing less. A lot of us (guys, in our normal mode) don't tell our wives everything. He probably is a regular and chats up lots of people. As Billy Joel sings, it's better than drinking alone.

As to the wife asking how he knew you, the (honest) answer is "she was here last night."

As it's Saturday, did you go someplace else tonight, or back to the same place?

[Sandi Beech]

It is not a big deal for me at all. No worries.
Besides, he was the one offering me a drink, and his reaction on the second night when his wife was there is no different than if I were a woman. I just did not spot her as being with him since I had just stepped into the bar.

And Dee, I actually had a great day yesterday outing wise. I got dressed up early and went to a Cracker Barrel wearing this :

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=327185&d=1646613959

Funny because that cute top came from there. My waitress told me I looked beautiful so I guess she wanted a big tip, haha. I fall for that so easily. Then I headed down to a mall 30 min away, and I went to their makeup section and blew $188 on makeup. A very nice woman from Ukraine helped me and wanted to put some highlighting powder on. She sat me down and applied it how she would want to use it. It was really nice. Then I went bra shopping, but I did not buy anything. Just browsed. On the way back, I needed to go to a restroom and I thought I would just stop at the bar because it was half way back to my hotel. I grabbed one beer, and an older woman dressed in goth like attire immediately came over to chat with me. She had orangish crew cut hair and was wearing one of those collars with spikes all over it. She has a disabled hubby who has to take a nap in the daytime so she goes out for a while and keeps an eye on him using a remote cam. We chatted for a good while. It is kind of cool really that we both felt at ease to express our style of dressing without worrying what others think. I think that is so cool. No judgement from me at all.

I was too tired to go back out last night since I was up till 3 AM for the previous 2 nights. We will see about tonight. Maybe.

Sandi

[nancy58]

Sandi, you may look less like a transvestite than you think. A month ago I was in a local gay bar and thought I was pretty obvious -- while the place is "straight-friendly", there are so many people like us there that I don't assume any woman is cisgender until I've seen her neck -- but after I changed out of my wig and femme clothes in the restroom (prior to leaving), the bartender thought I was a different person.

[alwayshave]

Sandi, I agree with Chantal, he's a crossdresser.

[Sandi Beech]

Jaimie, no I have run into his type a number of times, but usually in gay bars. To date, all of the men who have tried to buy me drinks leaned on the bi side but are attracted to the female form. They don?t bother me at all as long as they behave. I almost never dance with them as I am there to dance with women who are just out to have some fun. We are often seen as safe and treated quite well, even if they fall into the nimby category - accepting but not for their mate.

And for Nancy, in this case he was fully aware I was crossdressed, but he liked how I looked. So despite not being able to pass, you can still look attractive enough to draw the attention of others, and I do like the attention. It is kind of intoxicating.

Sandi

[TheHiddenMe]

Cute outfit. I love the shoes. You seem to do a lot better than me about getting an even color on your legs.

Obviously, you send out an aura that you are approachable. Men, women, in between. You obviously have found your comfort zone. I am 99.9% sure there are lots of readers who would love to be in your cute shoes.

[Sandi Beech]

Thanks Dee, much appreciated having positive feedback. So here it is 3:08 AM and unfortunately I have to get up at 6 for work which really stinks but I had a great time at the local bar tonight. I put together a very sexy outfit and ended up hanging out with two women and two men. We all talked a lot , but I spent a lot of time talking to one of the women, and we had a lot of laughs. It was great,

Sandi

P.S. oh and Dee, FYI I cheat and use Sally Hansen leg makeup for a perfectly even tan on the legs ; )

[TheHiddenMe]

I'm shocked.

You "put together a sexy outfit?"

Do you have any other kind?????:)


And for Nancy, in this case he was fully aware I was crossdressed, but he liked how I looked. So despite not being able to pass, you can still look attractive enough to draw the attention of others, and I do like the attention. It is kind of intoxicating.

I was out with my GG friend Michelle, and she was getting hit on. I asked her if it ever bothered her, and like you, she said no she liked the attention and it made her feel good. So you are not the only one.

You're not dodging bullets, you are running into the line of fire.

Good for you. Again, you do things others only wish they could.

[Genifer Teal]

There are many strange ways guys act towards us and around us. This could be reason #23. I don't want my friends to see me (talking to "her") and think I'm gay. Not sure about the woman in your situation. That could be a host of other issues.