Crossing a milestone

[MsEva]

Hi friends,
So I am feeling a bit unsettled. Today is the eve of my last working day before I retire. I have mixed emotions to be sure. . It has been an awesome experience. I have been in that position since 2002. I have worked there longer than any school assignment in my career. I have been blessed with fantastic coworkers over the years. The job i a dream. I got to program show for schools and the public these past 20 years and found it fulfilling and gave me a chance to program shows that were amazing for my guests. I sort of looked at it as people coming in to have a great experience under the stars.

Last night I woke up at 1 and had a hard time getting back to sleep. I had a inking that tomorrow there will be some special commemoration for in my honor and I am freaking out a bit. I was hoping that the day would be just a normal Wed. but some pieces have come into place. First I happen to see a message from our dearest friends about parking an weather. That was to my wife but it popped up on the computer. Secondly, my dear wife said do not try packing your stuff on Wed bring it home today. I hope I am wrong but feel tomorrow I will be sort of the spotlight on a ceremony. I am pretty private and this makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I will get through it ok but it makes me feel anxious. I guess it is not about me but for others sounds a bit weird.

Today I got the opportunity to dress (jeans, black tunic top and my gray hair sheesh) and all I can think about it tomorrow. My lovely, accepting wife, knows of my dressing and allows me girl time. She has been retired these past five years. I am worried that I will loose my identity. After all that is who I am well at least a part of me. Will I be okay? Maybe I am making too much of this. I guess my dressing time will increase, that is sort of a positive.

So for my retirees, has it been okay? Are you holiding up ok? I know first world problems right? Anyway had to vent
Luv
Eva

[CrossKimmy]

As a girl in her mid 30s looking at another 20 years of working I would say count your blessings and enjoy your new time. But don?t waste it all.

[Turquoise]

Been in blue collar trade 17 years. I think about this often. Took me a while but my wife finally convinced me I'm more than a paycheck. Place that energy into something you value.

[NancySue]

Eva, big congratulations on your retirement. A fascinating career. I?ve been to the Adler Planetarium in Chicago many times. I can almost guarantee you?ll dress more. I retired several years ago and I?m so blessed with a beautiful, supportive, helpful wife. I fondly recall, I began dressing the next day?and have continued, no looking back. It also keeps the pink fog in check, too. We live in a small conservative town so going out is limited, however, I am almost always underdressed..a nice way to start each day.

[NancyJ]

Eva, It may take a while, but you will find that there is more to life than work. I particularly enjoy the freedom that retirement provides, not having scheduled days. But the downside is that in my job I interacted with people every day. Now there are more days that I am alone. Enjoy retirement! Sounds like you have earned it! Nancy

[kimdl93]

It?s a change for sure. I ended up getting back to work in a related field but on a part time/ consulting basis. I enjoy having some continued connections with clients and colleagues but also having a less demanding set of responsibilities.

[Sandi Beech]

I suppose the lifestyle change is a big factor. Add to that it is a job you obviously enjoyed so I can see that being difficult. Perhaps you can stay engaged with some of the same people at an advisory level so you do not have to completely give it up.

I am a few years away from retirement myself. I would love to retire, but it is a mixed bag for me because crossdressing would be near zero once I retire.

Try to look at the positives and the fact you will have the freedom to do a little work if you want to, but now you will not have to.

Sandi

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

My retirement plan involves death, so I can't help from personal experience. What I've seen and heard is that you need to continue to have a reason to live. If you sit down in front of the TV and rot, you'll die soon even if you're in a dress. So go do stuff, and enjoy the retirement that you've rightly earned!

And wear a dress as often as possible. :)

[Geena75]

I envy your dilemma -- leaving a fulfilling job that you love. I very much look forward to that day for me -- I might call off sick, just for fun (I have over 2 months sick time built up).

I would recommend finding some part time, regular activity to help fill your day, whether it be paying or volunteering. I'll be looking into a part time job if/when that day comes. Anything to keep and maintain a structure in your life.

[Sallee]

It was the best decision I ever made. I liked my job well enough and miss it occasionally but not enough to want to go back or even get another job in the field. I was a City engineer, Civil and I did mostly heavy construction. for about 40 years from surveying and drafting in the beginning to design and project engineering and planning.
I thought I would dress more after retiring but that is not the case its about the same amount of time a few times a month.
Good Luck on your retirement get out and enjoy Sleep late and do nothing if that is what you want to do.

[Cheryl T]

Congratulations Eva. Welcome to the club.

When I retired some 4 years ago I made plans for various part time jobs I could do, all the projects around the house and plans to travel and see the country. Well, as always, things changed. Covid was a big part of that affecting the travel plans. The tasks around the house are getting done and ever changing.
As for the part time jobs. Forget that!
I've decided I did enough work for others in my lifetime. We aren't rich, but we are comfortable and unless that changes dramatically I will never go back to work for the almighty dollar. The freedom in time is so much more important. I've been able to spend more time with friends and relatives and watch the young ones grow. Much more rewarding.

I had the idea I would be bored but I go over that quickly.
Do I dress more? You bet I do. Do I go out more? You bet I do. Am I enjoying EVERYTHING more? You bet I am.

If you have a hobby you love (other than the obvious here) and you have family and friends you love to spend time with then you will not be bored and you will have a full life outside of work.

Go enjoy life.

[Emily in the south]

Congrats Eva on a interesting and unusual career.
It's been a few years for me, but the secret is to stay busy and active with a hobby or something you enjoy doing. I stay very busy with my hobby, more a labor of love. I restore fifty year old sports cars. I like working on my own, but sometime do others, which provides me with some nice extra income which allows me to expand my wardrobe and have some fun out of town trips.
I like the flexibility of working when I want to, some days other things catch my interest.

Enjoy your well earned retirement.

Emily

[Pumped]

So for my retirees, has it been okay? Are you holiding up ok? I know first world problems right? Anyway had to vent
Luv
Eva

At least you got to plan for it. My last day at work the owners walked in and said it was time for us to part ways. I just about quit a month earlier, but my wife begged me to just retire, yes, she begged me! I worked for that company for ten years with no issues, then they hired a manager in between me and the owners and we didn't see eye to eye.

As for going back to the 9 to 5? No way! I can not imagine it! I have plenty to do around here, house projects, projects in the shop tearing apart stuff and rebuilding. No plans to go back. Best part is I can dress 24 hours a day if I want.

My wife is jealous and is planning to retire soon.

you might fine the desire to volunteer somewhere for a few hours a week, but be careful, some of those volunteer deals are lie work!

[Heather76]

Retirement is the best job/career I've ever had. I've had 2 significant, but different careers in my life. I honestly believe I always had an excellent work ethic. When I was an employee, I always thought I gave my employers more than they gave me. I was also self-employed for about 25 years and promise you that means a lot of hard/smart work to make the rent and put food on the table. All that said, when I retired I believe that good work ethic was left on the job. I had no trouble whatsoever transitioning from work to retirement. In my case, I played a LOT of golf - as in 5 - 7 days/week. I enjoy the game and played a lot for quite a number of years. I've been retired for 15 years. My golfing has declined; but, I'm fine with that. At 77 I'm simply slowing down a bit. Assuming you have 1 or 2 interests you're passionate about, you will be fine.

[nancy58]

My conversations with my therapist have touched on retirement a good bit lately. She says that counseling on retirement is a pretty common thing. It may be worth your while to spend a few hours on the couch exploring the new stage of life you've entered. I wish you all the best, and I'm looking forward to entering that phase myself in a couple of years.

[docrobbysherry]

How nice, Eva!:)

When u work for yourself like I do u can never retire!:sad:

[Fiona_44]

It's hard leaving a job you enjoy so much but look at the positives - you can start planning which things you can check off your bucket list and you can dress more!

[char GG]

Mod note:

Please keep in mind the CDing aspect of the thread.

If you want to talk about retirement, please start a thread in the Lounge.

[Claire M]

Eva, enjoy the moment. Take a trip or take on a home project right away and you will quickly realize how much more there is to life. I retired 2 years ago and am at the point where I wonder when I had time to go to work!

As for your last day, expect to do nothing but good byes. I retired at the height of COVID. The only contact I had with my staff and coworkers for the final 5 months was zoom meetings. No cake, no cards or hand shakes .. just a good bye email then i faded away. If you can, take a few minutes to personally express your appreciation to each person who made your job so rewarding.

Enjoy this new chapter of your life!

[TheHiddenMe]

Retired ten years ago at 55. I have the financial and time freedom to dress occasionally, to travel (two months a year in Australia, where I also dress), just spent a couple of weeks in Hawaii (got to wear my bikini at the beach). I also volunteer as a tennis coach about half the year at the local high school, play golf twice a week with a group, play lots of tennis, and train for triathlons (which gives me great legs in heels).

You can also go volunteer at your former employer to scratch the itch now and then. Or go the Kandi route and volunteer everywhere en femme.

I like the saying attributed to Mark Twain: "No one on their death bed ever said I wish I would have spent more time at the office."

Good luck. You'll be fine.

[VtVicky]

Good Luck.

I have flunked retirement 3 times. This last one I am determined to make stick.


With each subsequent retirement my dressing stepped up a notch, to the point that now I am dressing at home almost everyday. When I go out, I have moved from underdressing without enhancers to being very comfortable with a solid "B" level projection. And, my female clothes have taken over my closet.

Every once in a while, I think about getting a volunteer gig. But, then I realize that I would have to go back to being very careful about what I was wearing.

And, I would have to go back to setting an alarm.

My advice: Don't over think this. Allow your next chapter to evolve gradually.

[bridget thronton]

Sounds like a great career - enjoy retirement. Hope you dress as often as you want to.

[Helen_Highwater]

I did over 40 years working for the ame company. Had an enjoyable and rewarding career.

I thought that when I retired (at 59) I'd miss work but no, I didn't. I quickly found a new rhythm to life and the old adage that you start to wonder how you found time to go to work with all the things you find to do in retirement rang true for me.

Don't fear retirement, embrace it. I'm sure there's lots you and your wife can find to do both together and as individuals. Since retiring my SO and I have seen more of the UK than we ever did while working. Every day is a holiday and remind me again, what day is it today.

Oh, must be Wednesday, 1st Thursday of the month tomorrow so off out for a beer or two and a catch up with ex work colleagues. Hard life ain't it!

[JulieC]

MsEva, congratulations on your new phase in life :) It will be an adjustment, to be sure. But, while certainly some of your identity is your job, some (most?) of it is elsewhere. For apropos example; your crossdressing. That's not your job.

I think your dressing time will increase indeed. My wife and I have talked about this, as time inexorably draws near when I'll be facing the same day you're facing today. I'm expecting that at least for a while after I retire that I will be dressing a lot more frequently. This may pass, but it's possible for a while that I might be dressing on most days. Your wife sounds wonderful, but be sure she's onboard with increased dressing time. That can be just as much of a shock to her as your last day today is.

I've also considered that for my last day or last week of my job that I might go in crossdressed. My workplace, which employs well over a thousand people, has a liberal policy with regards to gender presentation. They occasionally make a big deal of it. The reality; nobody does. Everybody fits the assigned gender roles. My own boss occasionally makes semi-derogatory jokes, for example about guys wearing kilts. I think the actual culture is non-acceptance, and those of us at this employer who would like to be able to come to work gender fluid in some form are too scared to do so. Crossdressing on the last week or day would be a way of maybe helping break the barrier. I.e., they worked for decades around me and liked me well enough to be there for decades, and what do you know, I'm a crossdresser and still did my job well. We'll see.

[Crissy 107]

Eva, Good luck in retirement, sounds like you had a great job. You will find that your days will fill up quickly and I have commented to my wife that it is a good thing we do not have to jam a job in there.
We both belong to the local YMCA and go most days, exercise is great and so is the social aspect.
You will definitely have more time for dressing so there goes another part of the day, not to mention being able to be on here more.
Congratulations!

[Di]

Hope the event at work goes smashingly.
As far as being home, it is a huge bonus your wife understands and gives you your dressing time. A lot of time we read those here retiring who are closeted and now both will be home now and the worry .
You will sort it out and have a new normal.
I am excited for you .

[GretchenM]

Congratulations, Eva. I retired back in 2009. It has been a bit of a mixed bag, but on the whole it is good. I relaxed quite a bit the first year but then found relaxation began to bug me. So I went back into the field (ecological consultant) on a very part time basis. I worked with one client I had before that I really liked and we got along well together. They wanted to hire me full time but I was not interested in full time again. So the consultant role has continued. It left me with plenty of time to take some "vacations" to places I wanted to get to know better.

I think it is important to expand your horizons a bit, but do not abandon your former role which apparently was as a teacher. You should consider staying active in that as apparently you have a talent in that area. But no immediate decisions are needed. Enjoy your freedom now - remember, every day is now Saturday. Most important keep your brain active. I found this forum and related reading a bit of an avocation and it has helped me a great deal with understanding myself and others better. But I have a lot of other things to keep my brain working while it still can.

[SaraLin]

MsEva,
While it sounds like you had a wonderful job, you'll probably miss the people you worked with more than the job itself.
When I retired, my wife was worried that I'd be bored and "get in the way" but it didn't happen. It's funny - I can't say just where the time goes, but I usually find my day so filled with things to do that I have caught myself using the cliche "Where did I find time to do all this stuff before I retired?"

You're lucky that your wife is supportive of your dressing, and I'm sure you'll find more time to indulge - just don't go overboard.
I'm sure the two of you can find lots of things to do together. While most of them will be as a him & her couple, maybe some of those things can be girls' nights?

Enjoy our retirement. You've earned it.

[Jillcder]

Congratulations on your retirement I retired 6 months ago and had the same anxiety over being the center of attention on my last day my advise just relax and enjoy the day. You are lucky to have an accepting wife hopefully you will enjoy more dressing time. Unfortunately I have not yet told my wife about my Crossdressing but this needs to happen soon since my retirement my dressing needs and thoughts have definitely increased.

[alwayshave]

Eva, Not retired yet, so no perspective on that. However, congratulations and enjoy your retirement.

[VickieBonne]

Your career is not who you are. Unless you are self employed, work will survive without you.

Retired two years ago. Held a significant position in the community and have never looked back. The one thing I have maintained is volunteer positions on boards. It allows me regular contact with working people and eased the transition out of public view. I love to be on the highway, camping mostly. Like others have said, not rich but comfortable. My wife and I are opposite. I retired first. In a few years I hope to be a fulltime nomad for a while before finding our forever home.

Congrats.

[Shiny]

Welcome to your retirement! There is one trick I learned that may help you. Once you sign off on a lifetime of work and head for the sidelines you don't realize it's different, not at first at least. Then the weight of your new situation starts to come home and it can be scary! Here is how you deal with that:

Now you are retired, but don't think of it as retirement. You are just on a "weekend" off, then it's just a "long weekend" and you deal with that. Then more time goes by and you think, heck it's nice to have this "sick leave" or "vacation time" coming up. And then as more time rolls by you may think of college days and think you are on a "sabbatical" or maybe an extended one. That should get you past your first year.

If you maintain a storage unit you never visit it is often said that if you don't go there for a calendar year there is nothing there you really need so get rid of it. You will look at all the months and years and maybe even decades ahead with an empty forbidding but it does not have to be that way. Once you finally get your mind right that you no longer have to work you will relish NOT setting your alarm clock. Isn't that great!? You will notice the seasons passing and note that you don't have to go out and scrape ice off your car windows anymore. And remember all the days since you were a little kid when you'd wake up on a cold winter morning and have to go to school? You hated the thought of climbing out of your nice warm bed with the blankets and pillows just right after a night of sleep? Well, now you don't have to get up anymore and you can look at that silent alarm clock on your night stand and smile and pull the covers back up and take that extra early nap to start your day knowing you can have that first cup of coffee later, when ever you decide.

Happy retirement!!

[char GG]

I'm sorry but this has turned into a retirement thread rather than MtF crossdressing topic. I tried to get it back on track but it didn't happen. If you would like to talk more about retirement but no CDing, please start a thread in the Lounge.

Happy retirement.