Dark parking lots

[Jenn A116]

Our last FEM meeting was held in a restaurant at a local mall. On arrival I was running late and just grabbed the first parking spot I saw. At the end of the evening, which coincided with the time the mall closed, when I exited the restaurant I noticed that the parking lot was mostly empty and by chance I was parked in a dimly lit area. It occurred to me that a woman would be concerned as she walked to her vehicle under these circumstances.

How many of us have experienced this when we have been out?

[alwayshave]

Jenn, I have done this a few times when leaving a dinner. At 6'4" with heels I don't worry about people other than those who are offended by crossdressers.

[Cheryl T]

I'm always aware of my surroundings and try always to park in areas that are not too far from the venue and preferably well lit.
Sometimes it's not possible but at those times I try to time my departure with a small group of people so it appears we are all together.

[LydiaL]

If possible, leave as a group. And then be sure the one walking the farthest is in their vehicle before driving off.

[Shiny]

Passed through an enclosed parking lot one night in Minneapolis back in the '80's after a Halloween party and they say those are the worst places just after the dark, dimly lit parking lots. I was on the tall side as well but all dolled up in heels and such wasn't worried about being a "woman" was more worried about the haters! Never took a shortcut like that again!

[Stephanie47]

Whether in male or female mode a person can become a target. In my county there a reports daily of car hijackings in parking lots, arriving home, gassing up at the pump. I think it's a wise thing to check the closing time of any mall that is attached to a restaurant or movie theater. If a mall closes at 9 PM and your venue/function closes at 10 PM there is a good chance the parking lot is going to be empty. A person should approach the car with entry key/fob in hand and check the back seat before getting in. If a woman senses she is being followed she should never go straight home. She should go to a well lighted store or the local police department for safety. If you're tapped on the bumper at a light, do not get out of the car. Drive to a well lighted store. Bumper tapping is a ploy to rob or hijack or worse. A women loading groceries into a car is another easy mark. Whether male or female, you have to be aware of your surroundings.

[Helen_Highwater]

Some years ago I parked in a city centre multi-story car park before heading off for the evening. Well lit and semi secure in that you needed to swipe your ticket at the pedestrian entrance to gain access on your return. Firstly, I couldn't get it to work so left standing on the street but thankfully there was an intercom to an operator who could see me on the security camera and detect that the card wasn't functioning as it should and let me in.

Once in there was the choice of get the lift and risk someone being in there when it arrived or walk up the stairs. Stairs it was but if you think the sound of heels on the pavement is loud try a barren concrete staircase. It reverberates all the way to the top of the stair well. I get to my floor; I'm now wondering, is there going to be someone sat in their car as I walk to mine. Thankfully deserted but again a concrete floor my heels echoing with each step as if to draw attention to my presence.

So yes, we get to experience those thing so many women experience and the feelings of vulnerability.

This is also a reminder for those just starting to venture out that while being counter intuitive, going out in daylight where there's lots of people, i.e. the shops, is far safer that a walk around quiet streets late at night.

[Fiona_44]

That has happened to me twice so far. It really makes you understand what GG women experience so often.

[Joanne108]

I never go out by myself at night there are too many idiots in the world. I don?t want to have knock out some jerk and then give my statement as Joanne. By careful!

[Sandi Beech]

I go out to bars and clubs by myself until 2 or 3 AM. I avoid dark parking lots by getting dropped off and picked up right at the door of the clubs using Uber or Lyft. It has worked quite well for me and I have never had a problem withe the drivers. In fact one was a crossdresser and showed me pictures. If I do drive myself, I scope out whether there is close parking, but I prefer ride sharing so I can have a few drinks if I want to. It?s the safe thing to do.

Sandi

[CharlotteCD]

On my first times out I did it under cover of darkness, sneaking out the back and through the trees to the fields behind my house, and then out onto the lit streets.

It didn't occur until much later just how often there are teens in that field hanging around the sports pavillion drinking, and I would have been a prime target for abuse.

I also felt extremely vulnerable walking around the streets, and thought how stupid I was to be out when no woman would be.

[GretchenM]

I agree totally with Stephanie47. These days the only place you are safe from the abundance of evil people is in the depths of a wilderness. Male or female. Be careful out there.

[Ursula Harrison]

My worst experience as Ursula.
I left a club at 2am just as the doors closed. There was a mix up over taxis and I ended up having to walk alone across Manchester city centre to my hotel. This was in the days before cell phones so I couldn't call another taxi. About halfway to the hotel I became aware of a van with two guys in it slowly following me along the street. They shouted a few lewd comments at me before passing me and stopping at a red light. But when the light turned green, instead of driving off, they got out of the van and started walking towards me. One of them was really huge.
I made for the station a short distance away with them following me. When I reached the station it was deserted and I was really starting to panic. Miracle of miracles - a taxi appeared and dropped a guy off, presumably a railway worker on night shift. I jumped in the taxi as soon as his feet hit the ground and asked to go to my hotel. This was in sight a very short distance away. It took less than 30 seconds to get there and the fare only jumped from the basic ?3.00 to ?3.20.
God bless that taxi driver, he realised straight away what was going on and didn't ask any questions. At the hotel he drove up onto the pavement so that I literally stepped out of the vehicle onto the doorstep. I was more than happy to give him a ?20 note and tell him to keep the change.
After a while my terror subsided to be replaced by rage. I honestly don't think I was read, not because I'm so passable, but because it was dark and they didn't get that close to me. It seemed that they though that here was a woman on her own that they could have some fun with.
I'd never tell a lady that I know what it's like to be a woman, but as has been mentioned by others, this lifestyle sometimes gives you insights into the sort of crap they have to put up with. A lot of it is unpleasant and some of it is downright terrifying.

[kimdl93]

I think any dark urban parking lot would call for more caution. When I go out I favor daylight and busy venues. When I go out at night, I try to park close to the entrance.

[Krisi]

Unfortunately, in many countries, our governments have let us down as far as protecting us from the criminal element in our societies. This has emboldened criminals and would be criminals because they have little fear of consequences for their criminal actions.

When I was young, many years ago, I played music in a bar until 2:00 Am six nights a week, walked to my car and drove home, all in a large city. I had no fear of being robbed or attacked and it never happened over a period of several years. I don't think I would do this today.

[Jillian Faith]

I've not been out at night in years, but can say with certainty I don't like to walk any distance alone enfemme in a parking lot even in daylight. Even in the suburbs you hear about purse snatching or carjackings in mall parking lots in broad daylight. I truly sympathize with GGs because I have walked a mile in their pumps and it can be scary.

[Maria 60]

My first sign of I came to the right place here was when I wrote that I walk in industrial areas at night. I couldn't believe how many responses I got from everyone here telling me not to do that.
My job at times does require to work in underground parkings and always wonder how women who have to walk to there cars how much courage they would need. The newer parking garages all seem to have a electricity saving censors that the lights go out until you walk by the censor. I must admit even for me walking in that new system is a little creepy, every time a new light section opens you don't know what to expect.
One of my only times out are to a crossdressing store in downtown area, I park on the street, but the last few times I didn't find a close parking. Even parking on the street and while I was walking I keep a close eye on my surroundings, you just don't know.

[Krisi]

I've not been out at night in years, but can say with certainty I don't like to walk any distance alone enfemme in a parking lot even in daylight. Even in the suburbs you hear about purse snatching or carjackings in mall parking lots in broad daylight. I truly sympathize with GGs because I have walked a mile in their pumps and it can be scary.

You hear about those things because the media sensationalizes them in an effort to improve ratings. Yes, they do happen, but in most areas, these crimes are pretty rare. It is important to be aware of where you are and people around you, but your chance of being attacked in a mall parking lot at any given time is one in thousands.

I'm not going to repeat my previous post, but I will say again that there is a solution to this problem.

[Natalie5004]

I go out to bars and clubs by myself until 2 or 3 AM. I avoid dark parking lots by getting dropped off and picked up right at the door of the clubs using Uber or Lyft. It has worked quite well for me and I have never had a problem withe the drivers. In fact one was a crossdresser and showed me pictures. If I do drive myself, I scope out whether there is close parking, but I prefer ride sharing so I can have a few drinks if I want to. It?s the safe thing to do.

Sandi

Speaking of ride sharing, you must have 2 profiles for Uber and Lyft? Male and Female presentation?

[Sandi Beech]

Nope , it is not necessary to have multiple profiles for Uber or Lyft. It has confused a couple of drivers, but not usually as you just have to wave your phone as they approach. I have sent messages a couple of times in advance that I am dressed as a woman, but it has never caused a problem in quite a few rides. I highly recommend using them if the alternative is having to park in a risky area. I usually wait inside a club until the driver arrives.

Sandi

[nancy58]

I ran into that with the new subway station that opened last fall. I used it for the first time when I went to my play series en femme. When I parked, there was plenty of light, and I picked a parking spot maybe 50 yards from the walkway entrance. When I emerged from the walkway again close to midnight, there was a pool of light that went perhaps 20 feet, and the rest of the garage was dark. As I walked toward my car, motion detectors turned on additional lights, and eventually it appeared out of the darkness, but I gained yet another insight into how GG's must feel. The reassuring thing to me was that since it was dark all the way to my car, no one was likely to have passed by anytime in the last few minutes. But since then, I always take a little trouble to look for a spot that's close to the walkway entrance. These are easy to have, since I'm going to the subway after the workday.

[JulieC]

Yeah motion detecting lights are useful to let you know no one is out there if you're aware they're motion detected. That's the problem though; knowing if all the lights are, or only some, or what.

A problem in walking while dressed is most of the time us crossdressers will be wearing heels...that make noise. Distinct noise. That can draw attention which is sometimes very much unwanted.

[Jocee]

I am always much more attuned to what's going on around me when I'm out enfemme and walking alone. If I'm in a parking lot, I make sure my keys are ready, and scan the environment before moving to my car. If I'm walking a longer distance, I've been known to cross the street it there are people whom feel sketchy to me, and I am always glance around when I am walking. My wife told me "Welcome to womanhood" as she is hypervigilant when she is alone, on the street, at night.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

No matter how you're dressed, situational awareness and preparedness are crucial. Be safe, don't be a victim.

[Ursula Harrison]

Yes, at times it's very important to think like a woman, not just dress like one.

[Jane G]

It is a long time since I waked across a dimly lit car park dressed. But when I used to occasionally I was never once concerned. As a male though I can recall an instance were I was furtunately sober and certain that I was walking into an ambush, just outside Naples dock yard at 3am. I turned a pegged it. Then found another route back to our ship. It is not just young women that cowardly thugs set their sights on. Fortunately such instances are the exception and not the rule. But I can appreciate, from what our daughter infers, that it is different for women. At 6ft 4" and a half decent boxer when young I still felt compelled to run. So I get it to a degree. But happily that was the only time for me, so I have never dwelled on it.

[abby054]

The last few times that I have been out in the evening en femme, I took public transit to my venue. Then I took an Uber home.

The National Shakespeare Theatre is just two blocks east of the Capitol. I went there twice on consecutive evenings. It was still daylight when I took a direct bus from where I was staying near DuPont Circle. No way was I walking back to the bus stop a few blocks further east of the Capitol at 11pm en femme. Uber drivers knew when theatre performances ended, so getting an Uber was quick and easy and direct to my door. I did the same in Baltimore a few months later.

The Uber driver each time had an obviously male name on the account but someone in a dress and heels waved a cell phone, walked right up to the Uber, and quickly opened the door and sat down like she owned the car. We then drove away without hesitation, returning me safely home.

As for dark parking lots, my employer, a public university, offers escort from office or lab to vehicle service on request. I use it when working late even though I am in guy mode at work. It is a great service.