The brain doesn't stop

[Maria 60]

The last few weeks we have been dealing with a family members medical problem. Because of our close location we suggested they move in with us during the procedure. Subconsciously I was asking questions, what time and day is this going to happen? when is it all done? All the questions had to do with when was there going to be possibility for me to dress. My wife told me she got a little blast from the past seeing at about the third day in I was getting nervous and fatigued and out of focus. Reminding her of the part of the past she hated when I wasn't able to dress. Thank goodness everything worked out ok and they went home late last week. My wife did give me credit that I do have my priorities in the right place sparing my time and privacy to help the family but even she admitted about me asking questions that did relate to dressing time. In that two week period I didn't get not even one opportunity to dress and it was amazing how my mind keeped working overtime thinking and thinking how I could get a few minutes. Our brain is a strange animal and we are, are own enemy. I believe I'm exhausted today because of all the mind work I was doing.

[CharlotteCD]

Interestingly, what you describe is akin to addiction, and specifically is identical to my eating disorder, where I am constantly trying to find my next binge eating session.

[alwayshave]

Maria, we all give up something or compromise for family. While my wife's daughters have been living with us I haven't been able to dress at home. It is an issue. I'll be relieved when they leave.

[Crissy 107]

Maria, I think we all would be wondering when the next opportunity would come but what you are your wife did was exactly what we should do for family. I am sure your wonderful wife will let you make up for lost time :)

[Stephanie47]

So many times on this site I read posts of members grabbing at "crumbs of time." It seems, if there is no regularity the mind does go to overthinking "The When." "When will I get a chance to dress?" Four decades ago I was grabbing at the two hours I would get on a Sunday morning when my wife was the nursery attendant at a church. In the end it was not satisfying; quickly dressing and undressing, even with a dab of makeup. In hindsight it was nuts. When my wife returned to the work force and was working for an entire school day I scheduled a "mental health" day and took off from work. It was a little more leisurely; six hours to be a "June Cleaver" in the 2000's. No more angst and frustrations because I knew I had that crutch, a day off. Fast forward to Covid-19 lock downs and my wife deciding to fully retire the angst is once there. Totally zero time to plan for some quality time; no more "June Cleaver" days. "Fortunately," my wife has a bad back and other infirmities that make it more comfortable to sleep apart. It took a while, but my angst is now soothed with sleeping in bra, panty and nightie. Like today, every morning as I sip my coffee, I am banging away on this keyboard. If I analyze it, my situation is a lot better than many, worse than others. I'm wearing a white bra and panty set under a white slip, under a pink Shadowline ankle length nightie under a fluffy ankle length bathrobe. I would still like to have an accepting wife, like Maria, but I know that isn't going to happen.

[Cheryl T]

Strangely I've never felt that way unless I was interrupted. That happened a few times when I was dressing for us to leave to our support group meeting. A relative suddenly pops over and I'm not sure if I should change or just wait. Once it became so bad I was ready to just walk out and say "This is me".
Thankfully those days are gone. The tables have turned and it's not the sometimes that I dress, it's the sometimes I don't. If I'm interrupted now, or something requires the male side I just go with the flow as I know it won't last forever and soon I'll be back to who I really am.
Patience. Even if it's a week of no dressing it's really only 0.00002 of your life based on average lifespan. It's the blink of an eye and it will pass.

[bridget thronton]

Glad everything turned out well - when my daughter and granddaughter moved in with us thought it would mean less dressing, but it turned neither of them are upset seeing me wear a dress (as I often do)

[kimdl93]

To paraphrase, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder?.or at least more anxious. I just spent several days with family for Christmas. While with them, my thoughts with laws with them. However, when alone before falling to sleep, I have to admit, I was thinking about how much I would enjoy getting back to my preferred gender presentation.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I understand completely. We just nearly had a female friend who's getting out of an abusive relationship stay with us for a while (she found an apartment last minute) and my first thought, which is why I'm going to hell, was "I'm not going to be able to dress like I like." I quickly reminded myself that her problems are way worse than mine and anything we can do to help her is more important than whether or not I can lounge around in a cami. But that's how my brain works.

[Judy-Somthing]

I also spend a lot of time thinking "Will I ever get another time to dress up fully".
It's been close to a year since I've last dressed.

I'm in the closet and there's always someone around.
Family members don't know why sometimes I'm not, lets say "a happy person to be around".

[Diane P]

Maria, I understand your frustration at not being able to dress while the family member was staying with you for treament. I also salute you for being able to put family first when it came to their medical procedure. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who would not have put themselves out, even for family, in that situation. To me this shows how much of a kind hearted and loving person you are.

[Mermaiden]

Kudos to you for helping someone out at your expense.
Is there a workaround like getting panties/ bra to underdress, or a cute night gown?

[Krisi]

I dress nearly every day during the week, yet I can go away for a week or more at a time and not dress. I may think about it, but it doesn't cause me any stress or anxiety.