Hello again. Returning in lesser capacity

[Mary Loo]

Hello all,

I have been away on a self enforced sabbatical from the site for about 4+ months. At the time, I felt it was important to my relationship with my wife, which was deteriorating, to tell her that I wasn?t going to read or post on the forum for a while and in the short term it did accomplish getting her back to a less stressed, less concerned about where I was taking things and generally happier person and hence happier marriage again.

However, About 2 months later, I ended up treating myself on my Birthday with a purchase or two and we spiraled back a bit again. Eventually after a lot of talking she decided she didn?t like the secrecy of DADT and worrying/fearing the worst in her mind of what I was buying or doing or how fast I was accelerating my cross dressing or where I was taking things.

We settled in recent weeks back to a sort of middle ground of her having seen my purchases up til now ( though not on me because she doesn?t want to see me dressed ) and not wanting a lot of details, but being a little more kept in the loop at least with purchases (ideally, consulting before buying). In the last couple of months I also opened a local banking account with a debit/credit card and created an Amazon account for Mary as well. Hence, the birthday presents to Mary. Also, though the separate account was originally her idea, she wasn?t thrilled when I setup a very small amount of my paycheck to be stuck in Mary?s account via direct deposit. In contrast, Mary and her Amazon account bought my wife a Christmas present from that account.

Anyway, we are working through things together and she decided maybe the forum in moderation was okay or at least better than some other alternative sites and that this community taken in moderation could potentially be helpful. Hence,
I will likely be reading and following this site again, but not as fervently as I did and likely with far less posts ( this main one being an exception).

I decided to update my Avatar from a FaceAp altered reality version to one that is still FaceAp, but much closer to reality.

It has been nice to read and see updates from various posters and to feel as a small part of this community again.

[bridget thronton]

Nice avatar picture - hope things continue to go well with your wife

[Debbie Denier]

I thought you had left Mary Loo.Good to know you are still around and active. You are taking a sensible approach with your wife. It is encouraging that she has not made ultimatums and wants things in the open and not DADT. A lot of us would be over the moon to have that level of support.

[Jolene Robertson]

Welcome Back Mary Loo,

Glad that you and your wife have reached some understanding. It is about making some compromises.

[alwayshave]

Mary Loo, welcome back. I'm glad you and your wife are finding some middle ground.

[Crissy 107]

Mary Loo, Good to have you back with us and also nice you have reached a point that you can both accept. That alone is a big step forward.

[kimdl93]

It is good to hear that you and your wife have been working together to reach some level of mutual accommodation. Moderation and patience may well help preserve and strengthen your relationship and give both of you you more opportunity to really enjoy this part of your life together.

[Jenn A116]

Welcome back.

The ability to talk to your wife and establish a mutual trust is so important to the relationship. Glad things are progressing for you.

[Aunt Kelly]

Welcome back, and kudos to you and your wife for putting in the work required to get to where you are now. It may not be perfect, for either of you, but it appears to be better than where you both were. Do something extremely nice for her. Tell her that we insisted. :)

[Stephanie47]

I echo the welcome back to the forum and favorable interaction with your wife. As it has been stated many times by many participants this is a sane and safe site; or at least I believe so. Unfortunately, many wives, just like the vast majority of people, are totally ignorant when it comes to cross dressing. A little education can go along way. Perhaps your wife will join the forum or just peruse the open to the public area to get some understanding of the community.

[docrobbysherry]

I hope it goes well for u both, Mary Loo.:thumbsup:

Meanwhile, your post reminded me of how much happier I am to be divorced!:heehee:

[Mary Loo]

Trust me, I have suggested or offered her reading/joining FAB and the Loved Ones forum several times, but she isn’t there yet. Someday, maybe.

I think the main issues she has with the forum is the publicness of it, regardless if it is a somewhat isolated community from the overall public. She also isn’t thrilled with the pouring fuel on the fire concept or in a sense how encouraging/empowering the site can be.

Though she has been aware of my essentially lifetime proclivity to crossdressing from very early on in our nearly 33 year relationship, it has only really been since this Spring that we have been dealing with it, because I really wasn’t doing it much before and not very well. Things are definitely different for both of us.

Thanks to all the support and feedback I have been provided by so many kind people on here.

[tifftg]

Mary Loo,

Welcome back and I appreciate the insight and perspective that you are sharing. It resonates with me and trying to find an acceptable level with my wife. The ebbs and flows of desire and satisfaction from dressing. Best wishes along the journey.

[Fiona_44]

Good to have you back and I wish you the best.

[Miel GG]

Good to hear that you are both working on a compromise. Don't let the communication fade away!

I hope your wife will join the FAB one of these days.

[Kitty Sue]

Hi Mary. Baby steps are often a good idea. Glad you are back.

[Simple pleasures]

I hope things continue to improve and work out for you both. Thanks for sharing.

[mbmeen12]

It's so critical to be honest to the one you swore and married.....Read my signature, I've debated many times to rework it but it so true...
Keep the faith and buy some flowers , dinner for a woman who's at least trying....

[Melinda Jean]

Glad to hear a compromise may be in the works. I wish I had that in my married life. I now have much freedom to dress when I want and to what degree (full makeup or not) now as a divorcee' and an empty-nester. I never had that as an option when I was married. My now ex-wife made it clear through multiple instances (conversational tidbits about TV shows and the like) that she found cross-dressing abhorrent (unmasculine) and would never be anything but accepting. My children don't even know. I prefer it that way. Secretive I suppose, but that aspect of my lifestyle has to remain in the closet.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Mary Loo :hugs:, It is Great to have open communicationand Honesty, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[Kris Burton]

It's certainly good to see you here again Mary Loo, and I think your openness and honesty has helped your relationship as well. Things are looking up!