An outing

[JulieC]

How humdrum of a thread title is that? :lol: Well, this was big for me.

So some months back I posted a long thread about my own struggles of self acceptance and trying to be in public. Short version; never a coward in every other aspect of my life, but coward like heck in being in public while crossdressed. Uhg.

As I anticipated, today I had an opportunity to take some photographs I've been meaning to take in a county ~40 miles away. I planned in advance to do this crossdressed. So, I left home and partially changed in a single-person bathroom on the way, putting on my bra with inserts and sweater that I'd brought along. I'd already put on new pantyhose this morning prior to leaving home. On the way back to the car, I got startled coming through a door that a couple opened just as I got to it. I don't know if they bothered to look at my (obviously not male) chest or not, but I didn't care. I just side stepped them and kept walking. After I got back to my car, I drove to the back of a large parking lot that had lots of cars in it, but most towards the front. I shifted to the backseat (more room to change, and more tinting), and changed out of my pants and into a white skirt my (awesome, accepting, supportive) wife and I share that I brought with me. I also put on a pair of red/patterned 3" Bandolino heels that my wife bought for me some years back (and wish she'd gotten a pair for herself!). I switched back to the driver's seat, cleaning off my backup camera in the process. So, from neck to toes I was 100% en femme. I don't have a wig, and I've virtually no clue with makeup, so I was essentially in MIAD mode. I'm never going to pass in a million years, so trying to look the part...not all that much of a goal for me. This was enough. Plus I was overdressed for taking photographs anyway; I was going to stand out like a sore thumb regardless.

From here, I took off on my travels, dealing with congested traffic trying to move along out of a bigger city to get to the county I was headed for. This was broad daylight of course, and everyone around me who bothered to look would have easily seen this guy with boobs in women's clothes. I just didn't care. This was a total mind shift for me. I'd never been solidly in this mode before while crossdressing. After a fair bit of drive, I got to the county and went to various locales I had wanted to go to. I got out at each stop (five, in total) and got in a bunch of photographs at each. One of them I had to walk a fair bit to get to the position where I wanted to be. I'm sure I was seen by some people here and there, but I never saw anyone all that close to me. I got my photographs in, and got most of the way home before taking advantage of another single-person restroom on the way home to change back.

A few other threads from this forum crossed my thoughts today; one, the thread about seatbelts and how they come between your breasts. I noticed it today :) Another; how you don't want to change back. I once again felt that, as I was crossdressed for hours and really didn't want to change back when I was done. Another was the often discussed issue of restrooms to use. I opted to hold it until I was on the way home and used the single-person restroom.

This was transformational for me; it wasn't all that big of a deal in the sense of the massive fear I would have in the past. In fact, I've been in the very same parking lot some years back I mentioned above, with heels on, and couldn't get myself out of the car. Today, it was no bother. I just did it.

Some shocking revelations; the world didn't end, I didn't die, I didn't get tracked down by the fashion police and get thrown in jail for crossdressing, and no nutjob in a rusty truck with a gun rack tried to run me off the road. All in all, I had a very nice day!

Major thanks to everyone on this forum; the network of people here gives untold support to all of us! Thank you!

[Sandi Beech]

Oh I get it how big of a deal it is in the early days of doing this. It?s interesting how every little detail gets amplified in our heads when others surrounding us hardly take notice. Eventually it gets easier, but for me, I only got relaxed when I began to socialize with others in bars and clubs. The social acceptance is what made me start to relax in my outings, and I never could get that when there were no interactions with others. I am glad you got out there to experience it. You would be surprised at how good it can be once you are able to relax.

Sandi

[Heather76]

That is a big deal. While I often times drive underdressed with a bra and forms on, if they will be obvious to others, I remove the forms before getting out of the car. About the only exception to that is when I'm filling the gas tank 15 - 20 miles from home. But, not to be as fully en femme as I can be and to get out of my car around people is something I can't do. Congratulations on a nice outing.

[Helen_Highwater]

You're right, in the grand scheme of things it's no big deal but for each of us that experiences those sorts of events they're huge. Game changers. Not a baby step, a giant stride.

This is something you can build on, the genie out of the bottle, there is only forward for you.

Get yourself some lower heels, a darker skirt, a wig and even if its only foundation and a bit of lippy, it'll have an effect. You'll be surprised how dressing modestly helps you become less noticeable. That makes it less stressful, you relax and your enjoyment increases as does your confidence.

There's a world to explore and you've just started. I suspect 2023 will be a good year for Julie.

[JulieC]

Thanks everyone :)

Part of what motivated me yesterday has been a years long struggle in crossdressing. So much sitting at home; I get dressed and then...nothing. Oh I might putter about the house, or sit at the computer like I am now or what not, but it got to the point where being at home felt like a cage. It used to feel like a closet; just not out to the public. But, it became a cage. I just don't want to live in a cage anymore. I got tired of having to hide all the time. I've been doing more and more things in public over the last year, with yesterday being a giant leap forward. All of it has been trying to get myself out of the cage. Lots of progress in the last year. I'm also keenly aware that this can cause pressure with my wife. She's very supportive, but I don't take it for granted. I've talked with her several times this year on the subject, and everything is fine. But, I don't want her to feel overwhelmed or worried about where this might be going. Communication is key.

Helen, I do have a pair of lower, black heels (https://bit.ly/3VwNckx, if you're curious :) ). In fact, I had them with me. I just wanted to wear the Bandolino's. I hadn't worn them in a while, and I love how they look. I bought the lower heels with the express purpose of being able to wear heels less noticeably. I just couldn't resist the red heels yesterday :)

Heather, now I get to be one of the people who say "yes you can do it!" :) Something that's been really spinning around in my head in the last year is the line between two things; (1) People seeing you obviously crossdressed but who have absolutely no control over your life in any respect and (2) People seeing you obviously crossdressed but your own reaction is embarrassment/anxiety/peril response. In my drive and stops yesterday, everybody I was going to bump into was going to be people I've never met and never will. They're effectively non-entities. The person I was really battling wasn't them; it was me. I told myself several times yesterday, "I'm done with being embarrassed." I likely still have some convincing of myself to do in that regard. I'm not going to say everyone can do this if I can. We are each a product of our own experiences. All of us are different, and what we tap into for strength is different. For me, for example, part of what fires me is military experience. I never shied from the hard in the military, and it inspires me in civilian life. It helped inspire me yesterday. You too have your strengths.

Sandi; thing was, I was relaxed. There were a couple of times when I started to feel a little doubt before I stepped out of the car, but it was brief and ignored. I can very much see how interacting with people will be validating and make me feel more comfortable. I've been asking my wife to go with me to an LGBTQ+ friendly restaurant/bar about an hour away from us. She's supportive, but we just haven't had the opportunity as yet.

[alwayshave]

Julie, nothing humdrum about it. I'm glad you got a chance to get out as your true self.

[Natalie5004]

Helen is correct. Try to doll up a little and you can calm down and walk around without worry.

Just say to your self that I am not the only Transvestite in the world. In this day and age, people are not shocked when they run into one in public.

I go out often and shop at Macy's and thrift shops. I try on dresses in the dressing room, walk around a outside shopping center, shop for groceries, go to the movies, buy lottery tickets and keep losing, pump gas, put a down payment on a house in a sales office (beautiful women in there). I have not been to a dentist or Dr's office, DMV office, out to dinner with my wife (she is not ready to go out with me).

Absolutely no problems. Have I been clocked? Absolutely. SO what. Everyone I interact with has been fine so far.

[Diane P]

JulieC, congratulations on your day out! It sounds like you had a wonderful time. Were the pictures you took jusdt for yourself or were they for something else? Just curious.

[Debbie Denier]

Congratulations Julie. The only way is forward now. Good luck.

[JulieC]

@Diane; it wasn't pictures of me. I thought about taking a selfie and posting it here, but didn't. Oh well :)

[JulieC]

I went out again yesterday. Different outfit this time; thin black turtleneck, bra, forms, grey and black skirt, pantyhose, and black 1.5" pumps. Yes, I took some selfies :) Not very impressive. I don't like how I look. But, I look better than I have in the past.

Ran into one bit of consternation; after driving for a while, I needed to relieve myself. Faced with the problem of which bathroom to use, I tried to find a single use bathroom somewhere, but came up empty. So, I found a city park that had public restrooms. But, I didn't want to go through the hassle of having to change into drab just to go and then change back to femme mode. There wasn't anyone too close by, so I figured whichever I used I would be alone. I decided on the male one, and I was alone while I used it. I told my wife about this (and all of the day), and she said if I'd used the women's restroom and a woman blew a gasket about it I'd be labeled a perv. I illustrated the problem by pointing out that in using the men's room if a guy had come in and blown a gasket I might have ended up beaten to a pulp. I'd rather be labeled a perv.

I'd intended to get some more photographs done, but the weather wasn't particularly cooperative; rainy once in a while, foggy at times, and the light was just not good. But, I went for a long drive anyway which was nice. Shortly after dusk (not late at night but approaching 6 p.m.), I found myself parked on the campus of a mid-sized university ~1 hour from me. It's holiday break, so nobody is there, and I parked near a campus police station. I took a walk around, going a fair distance. I kept my wits about me, and only encountered two other pedestrians. It was two young men walking together and they never got very close. I had a hat and face mask on, plus with post-dusk lighting I'm sure all they saw was an older woman leaving her office and headed for home.

It felt so nice to be out and about as Julie-me! I've been so sick of getting dressed up and having no place to go, feeling like I'm in a cage at home. The gnawing doubt monster only barely raised its ugly head this time.

- - - Updated - - -

This is the outfit I had on a couple of days ago. I've never been pleased with my overall appearance dressed as a woman. Sometimes I look like a clown! This time, I didn't look like a clown, but I am still definitely a work in progress. I need to lose a lot more weight. I've lost 15 over the last calendar year. Aiming for 24 (2 a month) this year. I think I'll be a lot happier with my appearance then. I'm NOT looking for applause here :) I really am not. I just wanted to share this, and also respond to a request for this. So, here it is.

333373

PS: Sorry about the setting; the mossy parking lot wasn't ideal, but it had the benefit of being private! :)

[Simple pleasures]

Congratulations, that sounds like an amazing trip out.

[NonbiNancy]

No applause here Julie.;-) I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience with us. I think we all feel happy for you and sharing your story supports us all. And you look great!

[JulieC]

Thank you SP & NN! :) It was an amazing trip, and as others have noted in similar experiences...it's addictive. Now I'm trying to find more opportunities. :)

[DianeT]

Congratulations for overcoming your doubts and fears Julie.

[Genifer Teal]

I've recently been following some video of this young girl
(Cd) who's afraid to go out in public. She looks awesome and she kind of knows it but she's super self-conscious about being in public. She says she doesn't want to she has no interest in that but I sense the underlying fear. I think you summed up the same fear very well saying the world didn't end etc etc. I'd love to give her some advice. I'm not the kind to tell someone what they should or shouldn't do. What I would say is that before she decides it's something she doesn't want or it couldn't work, she needs to do it 2 or 3 times to see what happens. After that she'll have the information she needs to make the decision if it's for her or not. Maybe it would change her mind maybe it wouldn't. At least then she'd be deciding from a point of knowledge that it's not something she likes. I wish the same could happen for many of us here. I realize there are many extra complications in this group. Wives family small communities, which make it difficult to try the experiment. That's unfortunate I'm glad for the few that do make it and see the other side. I hope more of us are able to give it a try and decide from a place of knowing not wondering.

[Geena75]

I can certainly relate to this. Getting dressed and hanging around the house eventually gets a little routine or even stale. Getting out is so exciting but becomes so relaxing when you travel off to somewhere you don't worry about running into friends or family. If you followed my posts at all, I started venturing out a couple years ago -- wigged, a little eye makeup, and a covid mask (which covered a beard). That first step out of the vehicle is so big. I still chickened out after a couple good outings. It took a lot of attempts, but now it feels natural to get out and go shopping or whatever, especially since I took off the facial hair and created a look that satisfies me.

Keep doing what you are doing and enjoy the ride!

[abby054]

Be careful about being alone en femme in places where a GG would not go alone. One of the great ironies of crossdressing is that we are safer in a crowd than alone.

[JulieC]

Quite true Abby, but given that it was very early evening, and given there was a police station not a block away, I thought it safe enough. If it had been a few hours later, I would not have dared to do so. I used to go out later at night, in places where no sane women would ever appear dressed in heels and skirt/dress. I never encountered anybody, but I think I was lucky. One of the places experienced an attack on a woman at night, just a few months after I'd been through there en femme. Never again.