Partners attitudes towards clothing

[CharlotteCD]

I have an attraction to lingerie and stockings, and that comes in the form of both wanting to wear it myself, and of wanting to see my wife in it.

She has zero interest in owning nice lingerie, and apparently doesn't feel sexy in it, doesn't see why anybody finds it sexy etc.

We do however share a love of jeggings, dresses and jumpsuits.

I often wonder if she doesn't care for clothing so much because it's always been there, she's always been able to wear it, so it's not even on her radar. Conversely, maybe I DO care because I haven't ever been able to wear it as normal attire.

Anybody else have similar or opposite situations?

[VS Fan]

Exactly the same here with regards to pantyhose, thongs, skirts, and other items. I also agree that I tend to wear things that I wish she would wear.

[kimdl93]

Interesting question. My first wife enjoyed wearing lingerie. My second did not. I think its a matter of personal preference.

[alwayshave]

My ex-wife once told me she doesn't look good in lingerie and therefore didn't want to wear it. I believe this is because lingerie is modeled by lingerie models, and a lot of women feel if they are not built like the model, there is no reason to wear the lingerie. I don't hold that opinion. I like lingerie on my wife who does not have a model's figure and on my chubby self.

[Crissy 107]

I think it goes back to how the SO’s were brought up. If their Mother embraced and enjoyed something then that, whatever it is, would be something they would also enjoy. I particularly observe that with makeup and nail polish.
There are always exceptions but generally I think it is true.

[JulieC]

I've noted before that to women, pantyhose are just another form of socks. To me, they are something entirely else. I don't think boudoir lingerie quit fits the same description, but I do think most lingerie is less about the person wearing it and more about the person who sees it. I once bought a sexy two piece lingerie set for my then girlfriend. She was very receptive and wore it for me once. But, I've never made that mistake again. Such gifts are really for me in that I would want her to wear it for me, and not for her.

I agree with alwaysshave. So much marketing is geared towards size 0 models with DD breasts. It's completely unrealistic. Victoria's Secret finally gave up their approach in this. They're now actually marketing to real people. Women have enough pressure in their lives to look a certain way (that is never achievable). Adding on lingerie is like the perfect insult added on to that.

[Gillian Gigs]

My wife can't stand to have to wear pantyhose. I have never seen her in a skirt either. Well she does wear dresses on occasions, but if she can get by without pantyhose she will. She totally thinks that I am nuts for liking to wear pantyhose, and personally, I love wearing skirts. She has never worn stay up stockings either. I think it all boils down to personal choice.

[Cheryl T]

I love stockings as well, but actually find that I rarely wear them anymore.
Since we retired I could be wearing them nearly every day but I just don't. I've become more casual in my style, which fits the area we are in. Now and then I just feel like being "dressy" and go all out, but it's rare anymore and truthfully I don't mind. I'm good with being just an average gal.
When we met she wore skirts and stockings all the time, but as time has passed that's been reserved for special occasions like weddings and such or for special nights. That's fine too. Times have changed, we have changed.
But since you've planted the bug today will be a stocking day for this lady.

[Natalie5004]

My wife loves to get dressed to the max for any event. As a matter of fact, she invents events to dress for.

I am expected to dress like Johnny Rose from Shitt's Creek. I would much rather dress like Moira.

[Jen.nd]

My wife doesnt like they way she looks in lingerie either even tho i tell her she is beautiful and i like they way she looks. I think its alot to do with how confindent your SO is. But i get where you are coming from because I wish i could wear lingerie and the sort for sexy time like allll the time hahaha.

[Joanne108]

I have to admit that the thought that was putting on forbidden clothing appealed to me when I started dressing! Now It?s about wow I think I might just look passable if I squint.

[docrobbysherry]

My ex and I had similar tastes in clothing up until she put on so much weight that she doesn't look good in anything.:sad:

When we divorced 25 years ago she left a lot of her sexy dresses in her closet. Which I still wear from time to time!:battingeyelashes:

Even at 80 I hate "dressing to blend"! :doh:
But, that's all she's been doing for the last 35 years. So, I guess she has a lot more in common with many of u than Sherry and I!:heehee:

[CharlotteCD]

I don't know if the forbidden thing was ever at the forefront of my mind. I think my focus was more on the shape, the textures and feel against my skin. Those elements really drew me in as my sister grew into her teens.

Bras have held a fascination for me ever since I first discovered hers, and I can remember every one I wore.

[Maria 60]

My wife on many occasions when she seen me sleeping wearing a bra or pantyhose she will ask me why do I enjoy punishing myself. She used to wear lingerie early in our marriage and then she said she wanted to be comfortable and warm instead. On one occasion I was wearing shiny and silky feeling pantyhose and I told my wife how amazing they felt. She told me she's never felt that great feeling wearing pantyhose. Then again most women have been wearing tights and pantyhose all there lives. I could already speak for my 2 year old granddaughter who begs us to remove her tights and seeing her happy reaction when she finally gets them off. My wife always tells me the biggest advantage of having a crossdress husband is that I understand how important it is to find a comfortable bra or any underclothes at any price.

[GaleWarning]

I have a different take on this thread.
My ex- had zero interest in being intimate.
So, zero interest in looking sexy.
She wore hosiery when she was working in an office, but stopped as soon as she stopped working.
So, I started.

[sara66]

I bought my wife some lingerie when we were first married. She promptly returned it. She doesn't like the way she looks in lingerie, I told her I did like it. No joy.
She is not a fan of pantyhose, but doesn't mind heavier tights in the winter. She does like wearing skirts and dresses. She will even wear heels.
Sara

[TheHiddenMe]

We can't explain to anyone WHY we like dressing in lingerie or dresses, but our female significant others are supposed to explain WHY they don't like wearing them?

Your wife just doesn't like them. She doesn't need a reason.

[Debbie Denier]

When 1st dating then married. Wife used to wear sexy lingerie stockings etc. After being married about 10 yrs . Fashions changed to practical and comfort. The1st items to go were stockings . Then panties changed to cotton. Special occasions such as weddings then special outfits and pantyhose are purchased. But thats it. I own more lingerie and nylons than my wife.

[Jillcder]

Same here Charlotte my wife has zero interest in nice lingerie.

[chrissy111]

My wife has always loved getting dressed up special as I call it. She has many events for her job which she needs to be dressed up for. She despises pantyhose, so she will always wear stockings

[CDMargret]

My wife used to wear nylons at the bank. Just hated them and still does. She will dress up in lingerie and wear nylons for me if I ask. Soon after play she is stripping them off like the are on fire. lol Now dresses, skirts and such she wears often and I buy her all the cute outfits I can find. Luckily we are the same size so I wear them too. Bonus! Bras have never rocked my boat much. I do have a few to hold the girls but usually I never wear them. Leggins have become a daily staple in my dressing. Shapermint brand are great with the silicone waist band to hold them in place. LOVE THAT.

[Deborah G]

My SO either critiques herself in lingerie, or doesn't see the need at the moment. Go figure... Me, I just ENJOY the experience of wearing all lingerie and hose! This has not changed for me since I can remember. I feel that alot of GG's are missing the boat on this one; what is more fem than lingerie and hose?

[Di]

MOD HAT

Just talking in general what attitudes toward clothing like the OP is talking about - fine
Some of the answers are just rude and against this RULE



Ridiculing members/non-members, or the manner in which they express themselves. This includes any complaint about the way females, males, transgendered, or any other cross-section of the membership dress, the way they express themselves (such as spelling and language skills, and any mention of religious beliefs, political preferences and affiliations, sexual preference, etc.)

Anymore put downs on women and how they dress.
How how sexy you are compared to your wife :(
Anymore moderation on this thread it is done.
Again

Many here want to be accepted for being themselves, wearing what they want freely .
You would think you would have the same compassion for your loved ones .

Again anymore moderation this thread is done.

[Stephanie47]

Boy, I do not want this thread to be axed, so I'll try to be careful and report "Just the Facts" as Detective Friday would say.

BK= Before Kids, my wife and I would spend many Saturdays in mid-town Manhattan sightseeing and perusing stores, including just about every lingerie section. We'd start at Bloomingdale's and work ourselves down to Macy's, Gimbel's, Saks, et al. Or we would work in the reverse direction. She was a girl from the west coast and I became her tour guide. In the early 1970's lingerie was popular, including bras, panties and slips. I think, my thoughts, there was more modesty and bedroom attire and undergarments were a way for women to express themselves in private. That was certainly the case of my wife. She had to wear dresses or skirts and blouses wherever she worked.

After kids? At home mom? Yes, there were still occasions when the lingerie came out and we played, but there were other priorities of life. Comfort ruled over playtime. Me? I've mentioned before on this forum that I do not own a single pair of women's pants/jeans. Why not? To me those are garments co-opted from a man's world. I understand why my wife, daughter and granddaughter wear such attire, and, in fact all of them have gone to thrift stores and purchased men's attire because men's attire either fit better; are less expensive; or are more functional. I have always tended to dress as a male peacock when working, and, still dress nicely as a retiree. I only look like a slob when working in the dirt.

I love colors and patterns; women's wear and men's wear. While my wife only wears pants, she is still expressive in the tops she wears. As I told my wife, "I do not know, why I do what I do." I think my mind is set to emulate a women on the extreme expression of femininity as men see women. A woman, being a woman, does not need to prove herself to any man.

My wife and I have grown old together; fifty years plus. She still makes my heart sing and I still get the twinkle of her eye. It isn't the clothes.

[CharlotteCD]

We can't explain to anyone WHY we like dressing in lingerie or dresses, but our female significant others are supposed to explain WHY they don't like wearing them?

Your wife just doesn't like them. She doesn't need a reason.


I'll respect Di's moderator comments and not give this post my full thoughts, but let's just say that you couldn't be further from the point if you tried.

Di, thanks for your post - I haven't intended this thread to be any of the things you have mentioned, and more just a conversation about how we are alike or differ from our partners.

It is, IMO, a really interesting thing considering the psychology of a human relationship. As an example:

I love stockings, tights, lingerie. I love to see my wife in it. She's not fussed, as is more "clothes off" in the bedroom. To be opposing here isn't a surprise.

I love dresses, skirts and jeggings. She also likes all of these things. This isn't a surprise.

I fancy a woman who wears all of the clothes I feel sexy in - of course I am going to find her sexy in them as well. MAYBE that is part of what attracted me to her in the first place (visually, not emotionally)??

Does anybody here have a totally different style that they like to wear, and is opposite to how their wife would dress? And is it how you'd prefer to see her dress?

[audreyinalbany]

Thought the title of this thread was "...attitude toward clothing" not 'attitude towards lingerie." My wife's attitude toward clothing is pretty much the same as my attitude toward men's clothing...if it's comfortable and it works and it fits the social situation; then you wear it.

[CharlotteCD]

Yes, I started this as clothing, but I think many people saw the word lingerie and couldn't get their minds past it :)

[GaleWarning]

Yes, I started this as clothing, but I think many people saw the word lingerie and couldn't get their minds past it :)

When your partner's attitude towards lingerie is somewhat disappointing, there is no need to talk about their attitude towards the outer wear.

[CharlotteCD]

You're going to need to explain that to me. What bearing does a relationship with lingerie have with a relationship with outerwear?

[Aka_Donna]

No, you were slightly miffed that she didn't like the lingerie you like. You did mention clothing you shared an interest in.

Except for holiday mug shots of people dressed the same, most do not like to wear the same, or too similar, outfits. What's wrong with just enjoying people wearing what they want to without pushing them to wear something they don't want to? As others said, there is no reason to explain why. There could be hundreds of reasons why, and the reason why can change from day to day.

[Gillian Gigs]

Clothing gets mixed up with sex, sexuality, so we tend to think within our own mental box. I would say that most people wear what makes them feel comfortable, and good about themselves. It is just too bad that some of the clothes a CD'er likes just happens to fit into a category that is in the sexual category, and some that are seen as being for only one of the sexes. Social taboos, or cultural bias hurts everybody who wishes to use clothing to express themselves. This can also be cultural suppression too.

[Patience]

You're going to need to explain that to me. What bearing does a relationship with lingerie have with a relationship with outerwear?
I expect it's a layered relationship.

[abby054]

My wife and I are a pair of opposites. For her, the more baggy the Mom jeans and the more loose the tunic, the better. She has not worn a skirt or hosiery in more than 35 years. One of my employees commented that he has never seen me without dress slacks and a necktie. That carries over to my femme dressing. I tend to dress up more than GGs do in any given situation. In my house, I now own all the hosiery and all the dresses and gowns that are less than 35 years old.

[Shiny]

Well Charlotte I totally get your point. I remember reading an article written by Data VonTease. When it was "training bra" time her mother took her to the lingerie shop. But soon after the fight began because Dita didn't want the plain cotton ugly bras, she pointed to the ones across the aisle with the lace trim and the ruffled nylon panties and she also mentioned the garter belts and that she wanted to try nylon stockings! Her mother insisted she was too young and bought the plain bra and told her she would be in cotton ankle socks for a few more years. Dita was "pissed" to say the least. When it became her time she went on a lingerie overdose she still follows to this day!

My former GF was just as good looking but went the way of Dita's mother. My GF was gorgeous, top cheerleader, bell of the ball. She could have dressed to the nines at all times but sadly went the sweat socks and cotton panties route with blue jeans and plain shirts. What a waste! And then there's me, the male version of Dita VonTease who isn't allowed to wear anything feminine or ladylike--ever! In my thoughts, what is wrong with the real vintage women's clothes or even todays feminine clothes? Sad that more and more women are going the same route as my former GF. No hair sets, no makeup, no heels or nylons, only the standard cotton panties and stretch-sweat pants and sweaters. Just terrible!! A lot of wires in the universe have seemed to cross the wrong way here.

[NancySue]

I took the proverbial leap of faith and told my wife about my dressing, especially lingerie, before the I do?s. Thankfully, after long talks, reading, she had no problem with my dressing. She?s very fashion conscious and has been a great help, but, to her, whether on her or on me, they?re just clothes. We?re now empty nesters. I continue to underdress/dress daily. She?s pretty much ditched heels, hose, hates underwire, etc. It?s all about comfort. She has her definition of comfort and I have mine.

[BLUE ORCHID]

See Line #2 in my Snigature , About Lingeree

[Simple pleasures]

My wife doesn?t wear lovely lingerie at all nowadays and certainly isn?t a fan of any hosiery or skirts for that matter. I on the other hand love all of the above. My clothes choice generally is different to hers though.

[jacques]

hello Charlotte,
My way of looking at it is that we both crossdress - my wife likes to wear trousers and thick socks, and I like to wear skirts and fishnets!
luv J

[DianeT]

We all have different tastes. For example as a CDer I don't understand the obsession of other CDers for panties and bras. I like them, but not to the point of underdressing, sleeping in them, or buying a collection. I don't like lacy, and downright hate frilly stuff. On the other hand I am a total fan of pantyhose.
My wife buys lingerie, she hates frilly stuff as much as I do, but likes a bit of lace while I'm not a fan of it, so she's definitely also buying for her, not just for pleasing me, which I think is a good balance.

[confused_cathreen]

Here's the difference from a non-crossdresser: i love three piece suits. But I only love them on a male body. Not on me, or a hanger. That's what it means to love the clothes. Of course I don't understand why don't all men out there wear them all the time as it elevates the male body a hundred fold. But I also have the maturity to understand that it's certainly not as physically comfortable as sweatpants and tshirts, or jeans and tshirt. So I am daily disappointed by looking around me in the real world.
I would never in a million years be disappointed in my partner for not wearing something just for my visual pleasure because I am not a rubbish partner to him. It keeps it a treat when he does though, and that's what keeps it interesting!

[DianeT]

Men do not dress like real men anymore.

[Maid_Marion]

I looked for years for a proper suit but concluded I'm just too small for men's clothes.
But I can find anything I want in women's clothes being a size 2 tops and bottoms.

When I was first married my wife bought some Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie but I suspect the hope and reality of how she looked didn't match up closely enough.
It may not have helped that my figure is spot on for wearing lingerie.

Marion

[Dutchess]

About Lingerie .. lingerie has been my work clothing for work 40 years so its not my favorite to wear in my personal life .. however a big thing with ladies who know about you or know enough ( I am not sure exactly how much your wife knows Charlotte , I know she knows some but I dont know how much so some of this may/may not apply ) is that we know most of you are not looking at us no matter how you protest to the contrary . You are looking at the clothes and thinking about what YOU would look like in them or how YOU wish you had it on instead .. I see that here everyday .. and that , for your SO, is a major turn off. We want you to see us .. adore us .. not the clothes .. not what you wish you had on.....
..... and the worst when some here try to say they look better than the SO ( sz 0 here for some of these comments above me ) .. that takes every single bit of fun out of it for us . It took years after the break from the agp'er before I wore anything attractive at home or in public outside of my work . I would practically wear rags or baggy sweatsuits .. nothing that would get him started . Or any other man outside my work . Its still in my head that all men do this and they are hiding it , so I am cautious with men even now..


Regular clothes , the AGP'er would wear what Krisi summed up in another thread .. tutus and heels .. pretty much .. clothing no one in their right mind would wear or should wear .. it was bad and my style is 60s-70s glitter rock mod with lots of velvet , fringe and colors ..
My fiance who passed away , dressed like a NYC society matron .. I used to tease him about it but we both enjoyed each others style . He loved to buy for me and dress me in my mod clothes too .. but our styles were different .

[mbmeen12]

Clothing apparel is generational...it's that simple. In today's younger generation it's comfort wearing jeans, yoga pants, sports bra etc. With dressing in a skirt leggings/ hose etc and a lace bra and or pants suit ...The day of garters etc well passey.....Unless it's job specific ie Hooters etc....

[BTWimRobin]

My wife doesn't know why women want to wear women's clothes, let alone her husband. She views clothing as functional.... to keep warm or to hide your privates. She can't stand anything which has to do with fashion and glamour. In a nutshell she could care less about what she wears.

[JocelynJames]

My wife and I are exactly the same as you and your wife, Charlotte, when it comes to lingerie. She is very much about comfort though and mostly wears yoga pants or leggings. She?s very much a girly girl though and enjoys her dresses and skirts and lovely tops so we?re on the same page there.

[Allison2018]

So far my girlfriend his ben receptive to me wearing lingerie under my clothes or to bed. She has said it's not a turn on seeing me wear it, but she likes seeing me be myself. She likes to wear it from time to time and at times is jealous of what I'm wearing. All I tell her is it's time to step up your game. Joking of course.

[DrFishnets]

My partner doesn’t wear stockings, tights or pantyhose or any sexy underwear either. She doesn’t like wearing skirts and nylons and prefers wearing trousers or jeans. She is a tomboy. However, I have an obsession with nylons, tights and stockings and sexy garter belts and my partner supports my fetish and when we are in town she treats me to some nylons or women’s skirts and tops for me to wear at home.

[secretpanties]

Before my wife and I were married, she knew that I had an attraction to lingerie and my urges to want to wear it. Although for much of my marriage I have tried to suppress those urges, I always would ask her to wear fancy silky sheer corsets, babydolls, bodysuits, thongs etc. She was always happy to oblige early on in our marriage and presently on special occasions (anniversaries, my bday etc.) These days she complains that they don't fit her anymore now that she is 10 pounds heavier. She thinks she doesn't look good. I agree with you Charlotte, that since women CAN wear those things more acceptably, they aren't as excited to wear them. I would love the opportunity to wear some of that stuff around her if she could be accepting and learn to take me seriously in them.

[Betty70]

Charlotte,
My wife takes care of herself, but she's not into sexy lingerie either.
If I even bought her something as a gift, it landed at the bottom of a drawer.
In more than 30 years of marriage, I think I could count on the fingers of one hand the instances when she put on something extra.
It's hard for me to resent her for this, such is her nature.
I'm not perfect either, unfortunately, because I secretly put on her clothes.

[JustineFallow]

My wife loves to get dressed to the max for any event. As a matter of fact, she invents events to dress for.

I am expected to dress like Johnny Rose from Shitt's Creek. I would much rather dress like Moira.

Including a brooch on your pyjamas? :lol: My wife and I just finished the series, and whenever I saw that, we'd howl!

[Nicole_in_Texas]

My gf doesn?t even like to be naked when we aren?t intimate. She?s not fat, she is beautiful, just self conscious

[Gi Gondin]

Somehow in our case we landed in a spot where she enjoys and demands me to be dressed in a sexy way (heels, skirts, lingerie,…) to her pleasure. I know that sounds almost fictional to most of us. After reading so many stories, after two long term relationships, I have to pinch myself daily to believe in what I am living. Have also to confess that I am somewhat afraid that this will change in the future. We are together for 5 years and I have always being truthful and honest to her about every aspect of me.

I love her clothing style, under and outerwear and throughout the years we got to understand each other better and better regarding our dressing. Last night was funny when we were going to bed and she said she had something important to talk to me - she said - honey, I don’t enjoy wearing high heels indoors as much as you do. Please keep wearing them, the higher the better, but don’t be mad at me. I replied that of course I wouldn’t be mad, I would wear heels for both of us forever… she is such a treasure!

[Debs]

When I leave the house dressed to go out for the weekend or shopping, she always checks my makeup and dress sense is to her approval, sometime she comments on my dress being to short or my lippy is to red.

[AmyJordan]

My life is very much as Gi my wife loves me to dress 24/7 in all manner of outfits but nylons are compulsory ironically as she doesn't like to wear them all the time herself, she feels its time for me to experience the effort it takes to present made up and sexy all the time which is what I expected of her when we met. Also heels must be worn to show off my legs Its funny how life can be completely turned upside down if you meet the right person

[JackieD]

With out implying anything about anyone?s wife. But when woman have an affair, They wear thongs, pantyhose, ect. What in my book, means they,,, woman knows what sexy, knows what turns a man on. They do it for their affair partners. They just don?t want to do it for their husbands . Think about that