One of those ?This is natural? moments

[Misty_cder]

This morning, as I gathered my briefcase, files and coffee from the car when I got to work, the shoulder strap broke. Not wanting to make multiple trips, I slipped the briefcase handles over my left forearm, grabbed the rest of my stuff and headed to the elevator bank. The handles are not big enough to push them up to my shoulder. As I stood there waiting for the doors to open, it hit me that carrying my briefcase this way just felt very natural. It is bigger and heavier than the purses my wife lets me practice with but still had a comfortable feeling to it. Maybe I should take this as a sign it is time to get a new briefcase that is more unisex or feminine looking.

[Rhonda Jean]

I don't think it's natural. I think it's more that your no longer embarrassed to carry your briefcase as you would your purse. I think, for instance, when you see a guy holding his wife's purse, he tries to hold it in a awkward way so as to show it's not his and that it's very foreign to him. I bet that none of us carry our wife's or girlfriend's purse like a football or a gallon of milk. My little baby step toward carrying a purse in male mode was carrying my GF's purse. I'd put the strap over my shoulder or my arm through the handles as if it was mine. That kind of broke the ice for carrying my own.

[Linda Stockings]

I can't say what is or is not natural for you specifically, but it would be for me. Many years ago, when I was dating women just entering the professional work scene, they told me they'd been told to decide whether they wanted to carry a purse or briefcase, but the workplace "code" was not to carry both. Each time I've been out dressed I carried a purse or a briefcase. My briefcase has both handles and an adjustable shoulder strap. I've noticed it feels very natural to carry over my shoulder....like the purses I've carried. Somehow the purses felt natural also. Just part of my presentation, I guess. So, IMHO, if it feels natural FOR YOU, I would just go with it.

Hugs,

Linda

[kimdl93]

I think a new shoulder bag would be a great idea!

[DianeT]

When my wife is shopping for clothes, I usually have a pile of garments in my arms waiting for her to try in the fitting rooms. Sometimes she's embarrassed by her handbag and I grab it too, if I have too much clothes on my hands I can occasionally put it on my shoulder. This has nothing to do with my crossdressing or trying to experiment something, I just do it like I would a bag of my own. Even before I came out to her, my wife wasn't comfortable with this and took it back as soon as she could. It seems I could disappear under a pile of female clothing, but not shoulder her handbag. Does she think it is awkward for a man to carry a lady's handbag? Is she uncomfortable to not have her handbag close to herself? Maybe she'll tell me one day :)

[Helen_Highwater]

Diane,

Until I started going out and carrying a handbag I didn't understand why women were so protective of them.

It's logical really, if you think about it. Money, cards, keys, so much is held within that to lose it creates a world of huge inconvenience to put it mildly.

If out clothes shopping and I want to try on say a jacket, while looking in a mirror I'll always have one eye on my handbag, never out of sight for fear of someone stealing it.

In your case I also suspect there's an element of feeling uncomfortable that you seem so comfortable with "Her" handbag. You're that thief especially as you are so visibly comfortable with it.

[Simple pleasures]

I?m trying to just go with the flow nowadays and do what I feel comfortable with. In male mode I usually have a man bag which I treat just like a handbag so a handbag feels quite comfortable when presenting en-femme. In saying that I?ve only ventured out a few times at this stage of my development.

[Claire M]

For the last 25 years of my working career, I always carried my laptop in a shoulder bag along with a few personal items. I always carried it over my shoulder ... like a purse .. and never thought anything of it genderwise until I read this post. It was just natural.

[GretchenM]

I find it a puzzling behavior for men to be averse to shoulder bags and to get squirmy when they have to hold a purse. To me, it just goes to show how deep the gender binary goes in our society.

I carry a small unisex shoulder bag (Swiss Army product) where I keep all my stuff that includes a lot of things most people would not carry. But I like to have what I call "essentials" handy all the time and stuffing my pockets simply doesn't work. I think most people view it as a purse and I suppose I do as well, but more importantly it is a convenience to have a big Swiss Army knife and few compact tools that includes pliers and screwdrivers as well as unusual things like an 8x30 monocular to look at distant object or a 10 power hand lens and tweezers to pull out a splinter quickly or to look at something tiny. Not to mention wallet, pens, pencils and a small notebook. So, yes it is a part of my very mild feminine expression in that it is a purse, but it contains things that come in handy when you need them. And it all fits a "Unisex" image which is how I identify - not male, not female, but a blend.

[bridget thronton]

I carry lots of my daily essentials and emergency items in my purse (a medium size leather shoulder bag). I would not have any where to carry my small collection of tools without it.

[Aunt Kelly]

That's an accurate observation. For many of us, it was an accumulation of those "this is just... right" moments that led us to understand who we are.
Oh, and girlfriend... Any excuse for buying a new purse is a good excuse. :)

[Bobbi46]

It's all about being both normal and feeling that something feels right and usual. I have seen men with "man bags" carried over one shoulder, why this should be any different to a womans shoulder bag makes no difference to me . I find a womans bag so much more convenient in any case.
And by the way the more the merrier!! mix and match to go with your colour moods!!

[docrobbysherry]

I keep rereading your post, Misty. Because I'm sure I'm missing something? It sounds like you're saying it's more "natural" to carry a briefcase/work bag with your arm thru the handles rather than with a strap over your shoulder?

That sounds as if you're saying the masculne way is more natural, correct? Because that's how I carry my briefcase home every day from my car. My forearm thru the straps holds my cup of tea. While I fish out my door keys with my other hand.

A fem style briefcase would have a strap, rite?

[bre]

Man bags, shoulder bags, purse... A bag by any other name carries just the same.

Back a couple of decades ago, one of my pastimes was being a historical reenactor (look it up) from the fur trade era (circa 1830s). As part of my gear, I crafted a leather shoulder bag known as a "possible bag," which held things making daily life possible. (Fun fact: trousers in those days did not have pockets. Neither did womens' skirts, so GGs wore a sort of bag on a strap arrangement around their waist called "pockets."). My bag carried things such as muzzle loading rifle supplies, small tools, flint 'n steel fire making supplies, tobacco, herbal remedies, non-perishable snacks, etc. It also served as a lumpy pillow. The bag was decorated with leather fringe and glass trade beads and was quite fashionable in that setting. I wore it with my regalia over my shoulder and was also very keen to keep a sharp eye on the bag at all times since it held my important stuff. I also received "purse" comments from the uninformed. And, like that half stick of gum from your mother's purse, beef jerky from the possible bag had a distinct "bottom of the purse" flavor.

All said, to me a shoulder bag is simply a place to put your stuff, whether you call it a purse or something else.

"That's MY purse! I don't know you!"
- Bobby Hill