Is crossdressing the only thing you keep secret?

[CharlotteCD]

Or are you a secretive person in other aspects of your life?

I'm not talking private, because that's a different character trait

It's more about hiding expensive purchases from your partner, out of fear of judgement, or hiding your eating and drinking habits - a sneaky cake at work for instance?

Just wondering if being secretive is a character trait for closeted dressers?

[Suzie Petersen]

No other secrets, with the exception of certain parts of my work because I have to.
Oh .. and then that great fishing hole. Not telling anyone about that!
- Suz

[Stephanie47]

The short answer is, No! To the contrary concerning cross-dressing. It is my wife insistence/choice to totally ignore my desire to wear women's attire. Consequently, she has no idea of the extent of my feminine wardrobe. She sews and has tons of fabric stacked in crates that are clearly visible to anyone coming to our home. My wardrobe is stored in plain sight in Xerox boxes stacked up in our converted garage to living space.

Concealing other things? Again, to the contrary I have to beg my wife to take some interest in our family finances. If I were to drop dead today, she is totally unprepared to handle our finances which are really rather simple. No hidden credit cards or accounts. It's all there for her to see.

We've been married for fifty plus years, and, she has yet to open up on her secrets from before our relationship which has affected our marriage.

[countrygirl]

I have some other adult interest that I have shared with some but only those that I truly trust.

[April Rose]

No, It used to be a habit of mine, but I became aware of it, and overcame it. I am an introvert by nature, but hard experience in the world has taught me how to deal with people, and I am grateful for that, however difficult the learning process has been. My gender identity issues are the one stumbling block in that regard.

[Patience]

:devil:


........

[kimdl93]

Rather than a character trait, I see the secretiveness as a necessity measure for self-preservation in many circumstances.

[BrendaPDX]

Yes, cross dressing is the only part of my life I am not open about. Well the rather large stash of cloths,but I am putting that under cross dressing.

[Ilsa]

For the most part I've remained in the closet, other than my sister catching me in her dress when I was thirteen and the occasional journey at night I stay away from public displays. Other than that Halloween always seems like a good excuse. One Halloween party was quite the experience when my male friends said I looked a lot like Gloria Stienem. My girl friends asked me where I got my outfits. This was always before internet shopping, so I dared go to the store to buy my clothes, saying of course that it was for my wife, though I've never married. After 54 years of dressing it has become more of an addictive solitude.

[Debbie Denier]

I think a lot of us have that secret cake or drink from time to time. I am and always have been quite open and honest about most things except CD. However when my stash was found that was no longer a secret

[Sometimes Steffi]

Charlotte

I don't think I have that many other things to be secret about, minimal drinking, no illicit drugs. I'm a eat-to-live kind of gurl, so no food hiding.

But the are a lot of CD-related secrets that are required to compartmentalize boy vs girl me.

[Taylor Dame]

Only my crossdressing is kept secret - I'm in a DADT relationship. I am open on everything else, and don't think being secretive is a character trait. I think societal beliefs and pressures cause us to keep that secret.

[Robin777]

Crossdressing is about the only thing I keep secret. My late wife was the only other person that knew about it and enjoyed it. I don't really keep anything else secret. If something happens to me ,my niece will find out.

[Linda Stockings]

I can definitely relate to everything said thus far. I don't have a lot of secrets but I have many things I don't choose to share. And lots of things influence that. I know quite a few people, and there a different groups with many differences and similarities. I consider myself a very heterosexual person who likes crossdressing. I share that with some groups such as this one. Some cis women know that, some cis men know that, some bisexual men know that, some bisexual women know that, some gay men, some lesbian women, and I could go on. Many of the people in each of those groups do not know that I dress. At least not to my knowledge.

Sneaky, well, I definitely tried to be in my past. I used to be very meticulous in lots of things, especially in being careful with clothes I've tried on that I was borrowing. I used to be meticulous with all of my own feminine attire. Clothing that appears untouched also appears to not be used very frequently. And if it appears undisturbed, how often is it being used or worn? I admit, that could appear to be a deceitful thing, even a case of lying by omission. But many things don't really require much information from the owner. If someone looks at my heels, a casual glance at the soles would scream "I get worn a lot!". And a heel tip definitely shows how much it's been worn. Didn't this skirt still have the tags on it? I just saw it 2 weeks ago...and this stack of tops was shorter last time I saw it. Anyone can figure things out like that. By not drawing someone's attention to such things, am I lying? I'll accept sneaking, which has some implications of guilt...lying? I don't think so, not when the observer knows what's going on, and not if it's within within any agreed upon boundaries. And some arrangements evolve. I don't advise assuming that if nothing is asked about it that it must be okay. Bad assumption...it could adversely affect levels of trust. And trust is a critical thing. And it's very easy to lose but difficult to regain. And sometimes a loss of trust is gone forever.

Definitely an interesting thread...and set of responses. I look forward to reading more.

Linda

[Sometimes Steffi]

When I was a young teen (or maybe a preteen) I used to try on my mom's lingerie when I was left home alone. My mom had a very neat and well organized drawer. I would draw a very detailed map of everything that I took from her drawer so I could put it back exactly the way I found it. After I put everything away in its proper place I would tear up the map into small pieces and flush it.

One time I opened here panty drawer and it was uncharastically messy. I knew that I wouldn't be able to put it back together again. I also thought it might be a test to see if anything was moved while they were gone. I closed the lingerie draw and found some other clothes in the basement to try on.

[Claire M]

While I am a pretty private person, I would have to say that crossdressing and things related to crossdressing are my only secrets. (..... anything else, if I told ya I'd have to kill ya!!)

[Aunt Kelly]

I have some passwords and secret handshakes that I will take to my grave. :)

[Tanya J]

Honestly I am the opposite. I am to busy to keep up with all the things a person has to to be secretive. I like the feeling of knowing that there is very little that I need to be secretive about

[Brianne_bc]

My wife doesnt know how much I spend on motorcycle parts.

[Geena75]

I am supposing the main thrust of the question is regarding the spouse. The cross-dressing is the only major thing I keep secret from her. Oh, I have some minor issues that I keep to myself rather than give her concern (a temporary rash or odd pain). I have never divulged to her some details from previous relationships -- don't see any need for that, any more than I want that sort of disclosure from her. There are a couple of things that happened to me in my youth that I will most likely take to my grave.

Beyond the wife, though, I have any number of things I keep to myself. I had a couple of indiscretions in my younger days that I regard as a "need to know" issue, which very, very few know about.

So, all in all, I guess I do keep some other things secret and hidden. I haven't had any good reason to be open about them, but I most likely would tell if it were warranted.

[Ann Simpson]

In my case it is rather the opposite. My wife kept the secret from me. I thought they were just good friends. We even went on trips together in our RV. The secret got let out of the bag when those two went and did laundry and the friend noticed these were not men's briefs -- these are panties! Does "Ann" wear panties? And MY secret was out of the bag,,; Those two girls bought me a pair in every style and color I didn't have! And I still was dumb to their secret! It wasn't until it was over... I just thought they were really good friends.

[HelpMe,Rhonda]

When I came out to my wife she did ask 'what else are you keeping secret?' and I said that just the one big secret was plenty to deal with.

[SaraLin]

My immediate response to the question was: "That would be telling" :devil:

I'm a pretty quiet (shy) person, especially around strangers or among crowds. Because of that, most people don't know much about me. It's not that I keep secrets. It's just that I don't talk that much - especially about myself. (present company excepted, of course :battingeyelashes:)











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[MargaretJ]

Can you keep a secret?

So can I.

[sara66]

If my wife only knew how much I spend on clothes & tools. I think she might kill me.:heehee:
I try not to have any secrets from my wife. I think we all have some secrets that we will take our graves, sometimes that's best.
Sara

[NancyJ]

Perhaps there is a fine line between privacy and secrecy. In an intimate relationship, a marriage, secrecy can hurt. I have told my wife my secrets (which includes my sexual fantasies). These were often difficult, but honest, conversations. No one else needs to know. To me, that is privacy. No one else in my life would want to know that I wear panties, love feminine things, and that I am in a Wife Led Marriage. The most important person in my life knows more about me than anybody. I do not keep secrets from her even though I do not get a lot of what I want. In our home, she comes first. That is how I want it to be, Nancy

[kayegirl]

I believe that I might share the same secret handshakes and passwords as Aunt Kelly. Otherwise I have no secrets, my crossdressing is known to everybody that matters to me.

[Mary Loo]

Only my crossdressing is kept secret - I'm in a DADT relationship. I am open on everything else, and don't think being secretive is a character trait. I think societal beliefs and pressures cause us to keep that secret.

This sums it up well for me. We aren?t quite in a strict DADT, but I still try to shield her from as much as I can just so as not to upset her. If she asks, I generally tell, but otherwise no other secrets or secretive characteristics. I think she would even be more okay with it, but for societal opinions on cross dressing and how it reflects on her, not just me.

[April Rose]

I have a number of personal issues, but my gender issue is the only one I don't share readily with most people. That seems to be loosening up a bit lately, a little bit at a time.

[Heather76]

I have no secrets whatsoever from my wife and I sincerely believe she has none that she keeps from me. With regard to spending, I keep track of our bank accounts and keep income/expense spreadsheets on my computer. Once a month I email them to her so she is always well aware of money we've spent. I don't specifically share what I spend on crossdressing as she's not interested in an itemized list. But, she can readily see what my credit card payments are. If she were to ever ask what I spent on a particular item, I wouldn't hesitate at all to tell her. I'd also tell her specifically how much of my credit card bill was related tom crossdressing if she ever asked. Anything either of us would think to spend over $100.00 for (other than normal household bills/groceries/) would be discussed with the other one beforehand because that's just how we've always been. I suspect that goes back to the early days of our marriage when our budget was tighter than a 32" belt on a 38" waist.

Privacy and secrets we keep from other people are just that. She and I really need to know everything about one another. Family and friends don't have that need. In fact, something that has surprised over my lifetime is when I learn that others discuss their private sex life within their marriage with friends and/or family. HUH? I honestly have always believed that the intimacy my wife and I share is nobody else's business and not appropriate for the public domain. I also feel that way about our family finances. Fortunately, my wife feels the same way on these topics.

[ConflictedWife]

Heather,
I really respect your response. I am sure your wife appreciates the honesty in your relationship. :)

[alwayshave]

Charlotte, I'm not sure that my dressing is much of a secret if google and my wife know. No, I really don't hide anything from my wife.

[KymG]

Yes pretty much just that, and thats been hard enough over the years.

[Kitty Sue]

Crossdressing not kept secret. However, the other day my wife asked me how many model train engines I had. Thankfully she was accepting of the number (99) at the time now 102.

[darla_g]

As i have shared in the past i am one of the lucky ones and my wife is supportive of my crossdressing, frequently playing photographer , buying stuff for me and giving fashion advice. I do not however share details with my family, friends or neighbors. None of these people need to know so its not as much a matter of being secretive rather its none of their business. This would be the case with pretty much all the aspects of my life, my hobbies etc. I don't know if any of this is being secretive, just keeping to myself.

[Jane G]

That would be telling.

[abby054]

Oh no, I keep many secrets and quite well. In the Army long ago as a supervisor of the storage and use of classified documents, I even got paid to keep secrets well. I even have secrets upon secrets like what I did while out and about en femme a few weeks ago. None of the things that I keep secret are illegal, immoral, or dangerous, or involve women not my wife, hot cars, alcohol, smoke, or chocolate.

[Charly52]

Luckily I?m quite good at keeping secrets probably a good job I am !!!

[jennifergreencd]

Tough one, wife is aware of my underdressing and is okay with it, doesn't want to partake in it but doesn't care. This is the most important part to me. The only thing else that I keep secret from her is that I love chastity, and when I can dressing up a bit. Not sure how much she would really care, but I have learned to never poke a bear or ask for more than you can stand

[jacques]

hello Charlotte,
no secrets, just privacy.
luv J

[mbmeen12]

Rather than a character trait, I see the secretiveness as a necessity measure for self-preservation in many circumstances






Well said!

[Joanne108]

No If there are things that I know that are confidential I maintain that. In my relationship with my wife I tell her when she asks.

[MonicaPVD]

The great irony in my relationship is that there are absolutely no secrets between us with this one tiny exception. 😂

[il.dso]

Great and thought provoking question.
Yes, I would say that the extent of my crossdressing is the only thing I don't tell my wife.
Honesty is the best policy, in theory, just a struggle to live by that maxim...

[Kasey101]

I keep it under wraps for the simple reason I am new to this within myself. So before I decide if I ever want anyone to know and come out of the closet, I just want to be in a place which I have more empowerment. So until that day I am having fun with it behind my closed doors or when I am home alone. No I am not married live with family at the moment. :battingeyelashes:

[Majella St Gerard]

I'm Batman. lol

[JulieC]

Welcome Kasey101!

[Natalie5004]

What I pay for HiFi equipment. As the saying goes, "I hope my wife does not sell my system for what I told her I paid for it."

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This sums it up well for me. We aren?t quite in a strict DADT, but I still try to shield her from as much as I can just so as not to upset her. If she asks, I generally tell, but otherwise no other secrets or secretive characteristics. I think she would even be more okay with it, but for societal opinions on cross dressing and how it reflects on her, not just me.

You can show your wife the Hollywood celebrity types wearing skirts and dresses. Even Brad Pitt wore a skirt out. Face it, we are trend setters here.

[abby054]

One for sorrow, two for joy,
Three for a girl, four for a boy,
Five for silver, six for gold,
Seven for a secret, never to be told.
-British nursery rhyme

[Rachelakld]

I would have joined the secret service, I'm good at keeping secrets until someone asks me, then my face gives it away the answer every time. That's also why I don't play poker

[dawg612]

My wife, like yours, knows but chooses to ignore. I wish that wasn't the way it was. I wish she would take an interest in my crossdressing, I think it would enhance our relationship. Not my choice though so for now I wear what I want, out of sight, and we live our life.