Safety, Roofies

[Rhonda Jean]

After reading Helen's thread in the media section about Fentanyl, I thought it might be appropriate to talk about this. Most of us are probably not used to taking the same precautions that we should when out as female.

I used to have a routine when out alone (en femme) at a restaurant. After I ordered my drink I'd go to the restroom. My drink was usually served while I was away from the table, leaving it unattended. The restaurant wasn't particularly crowded. There were two men sitting at a table near mine. I'm sipping on my drink while I look at the menu and before I even ordered I was feeling drunk. I almost didn't order, but it would have been awkward to leave, and since I hadn't eaten all day I though that eating something might make me feel better. By the time my food came I was seriously drunk and felt like I was going to be sick. I took a few bites, which didn't help. I paid and left. The room was spinning, and especially in stilettos I had a lot of trouble walking. I remember people turning to look at me. I seem to remember getting sick in the ladies room before I left, but at this point I'm not sure. I made it to my car and sat there for a while trying to sober up. Maybe I did, a little. I shouldn't have driven, but I did drive back to the hotel and fell into the bed.

I thought I had just had a heightened response to the alcohol because I hadn't eaten, even though I had only drunk about 1/3 or 1/4 of my drink. I later told a female friend about it and she said I'd been "roofied". I had heard of the "date rape drug", but never thought about being a victim of it. I suspect it was the two guys who were sitting near me. Who knows why they did it. Maybe they thought it was funny, or maybe they planned to "help me get home." I'm glad I didn't drink any more.

Moral of the story, don't leave your drink unattended.

[Emily in the south]

Excellent advice for sure, especially when you are by yourself.
I try to time any trips to the ladies room, when alone, to when my drink is finished or close to that.

[Cheryl T]

Never leave your drink unattended.
The other option is perhaps bottled beer and have it opened in front of you.

[Ursula Harrison]

Excellent advice Rhonda Jean. I'm glad nothing worse happened to you.

I wouldn't presume to offer guidance to anyone who is gay or bi on how to interact with men. But for anyone not interested in "that sort of thing" I would strongly advise you never to let a guy buy you a drink. You'd probably wouldn't do that anyway if talking to a guy one to one. But if he offers to buy drinks for a group which you are part of, or even for the whole bar "because it's his birthday" or some other reason, you'll avoid potential trouble by declining.

There are a lot of guys who buy drinks in the expectation of something in return. If you'll pardon me repeating myself, it is sometimes important to think like a woman, not just dress like one.

[Kris Burton]

Excellent advice and PSA - I'd never even thought of this! Just another thing that we, as women, need to be aware of when out alone!

[kimdl93]

What a harrowing experience and very good advice.

[docrobbysherry]

Ursula, good point! That's why I never let guys buy me drinks. They'll want payback!:thumbsdn:

But, my T friend accepts drinks often. Then, shoos them away when they get too frisky. I don't have the heart to do that!:sad:

[Fiona_44]

You are a very lucky lady Rhonda. If they did "help you home" just being robbed of all your stuff would be preferable to all the other gruesome possibilities.

[Heather76]

I'm so glad you made your way out of that situation safely. Was there a true threat or was it drinking on an empty stomach? You may never know; but, a valuable lesson was learned. Thanks for sharing your experience.

[Rhonda Jean]

It probably bears emphasizing that in order to not be more conspicuous I stayed a little longer than I really felt I should have. None of us want to stand out in a bad way. When it first hit me was right before I ordered my meal. I thought about asking for the check then, but didn't want to draw attention to myself as if I was running out out of fear. It quickly got bad enough that embarrassment wasn't part of the equation. I'm sure whoever did it got a good laugh, which was probably their intent. The hotel was only a few miles from the restaurant, but I still shouldn't have been driving.

[alwayshave]

Rhonda Jean, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Operational security around drink is always necessary. Unless I'm with someone I know, I will not leave a drink unattended.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Honestly, this is something every man should know. If not for self protection, at least to teach your daughters.

[Jazzmin]

I've said this before, but it bears repeating:

IF YOU ARE OUT & ABOUT, PRESENTING AS A WOMAN, YOU NEED TO THINK & BEHAVE AS A WOMAN!

I don't care if you are 6' 11' and the grandmaster of ninjas, unless you have practiced defensively in a skirt & heels, or become immune to iocaine powder, when you present as a female, you become vulnerable to a host of issues that you aren't even aware of as a male.

Here are some tips if you venture out alone, en femme:

- NEVER leave your bag, your drink, or your food unattended! If out as a dude, you wouldn't leave your wallet on the bar while you went to the loo, or leave your drink unfinished, would you?

- Be aware of your surroundings! That stretches from cracks and potholes in the sidewalk, to the sketchy guy hanging out on the corner.

- DO NOT walk down dark alleys or saunter through lonely, isolated areas at night! You want pics or a video of yourself rocking that leather miniskirt and 4" heels? Do it in a populated area during the day. Trust me, the worst that will happen is some strange looks from the masses. Conversely, strutting through an empty parking lot at 3 in the morning is liable to attract the attention of bad actors, or the police. Worse still, the attentions of both, in that order, with the possible addition of an ambulance!

Best bet is to go out with a friend, or friends. There is safety in numbers. And remember that whether you are en femme, or in drab, there are bad actors out there, as well as folk with an evil agenda against the LGBTQ community. And those people don't care if you are 'only' a CD or Trans. That isn't meant to disparage CD's, but to illustrate that the hateful don't differentiate!

So, go out, have fun, let loose your feminine self, but for the Love of the Goddess, be careful!