All my bags are packed...

[Rhonda Jean]

Tired of screwing around with this inch-by-inch progress in getting back to my full-fledged cding self. I have a free weekend plus a day, and I'm going to use it to get out of town, back to the old familiar places where I used to go to "get my girl on" back when this was a once a month thing. I'm leaving in boy clothes and checking into the hotel in boy clothes but that's it. I don't really think one weekend will tell the tale on whether or not I hang up my high heels, but it's got to do something. I'm not as excited about it as I should be. Feels more like something I just need to do. S or get off the pot, ya' know?

I've had a couple of other false starts. That's why I didn't post this until I'm literally ready to head out the door. I'm wearing my big girl panties and doing it this time.

[Helen_Highwater]

I wish you well. Enjoy your femme time.

[Emily in the south]

Enjoy. let us know how it all turns out...

[Taylor Dame]

Enjoy your time, and have fun!

[Heather76]

Please tell us all about it when you return. Many of us enjoy living vicariously thru the adventures of those who get to do what we don't get to do.

[secretpanties]

Enjoy your time!

[Suzie Petersen]

Go look .. who knows what you might find!
I hope you have an enjoyable time, one way or another.
See you on the other side.

- Suz

[docrobbysherry]

Packing for a weekend is a good start, RJ!:thumbsup:

Then, you'll be better prepared to pack for a week of T girl activities! Like at DLV or WildSide in Vegas!:heehee:

[Jane G]

Hope it goes well.

[Kitty Sue]

Sounds like a good time ahead.

[Fiona_44]

Have a good time Rhonda Jean.

[Crissy 107]

Rhonda Jean, I hope you have a great weekend and we will be looking forward to hearing how you do. Good luck!

[kimdl93]

I hope you have a great weekend!

[JulieC]

Rhonda Jean, have a great weekend!

I know I'm not hanging up my heels. That will have to be someone else's job after I'm done with this corporeal form. :)

[Diane P]

Rhonda Jean I hope you have a good weekend and come back with your batteries recharged and feeling ready to continue to crossdress.

[Fortuneta]

Be safe but have fun.

[alwayshave]

Rhonda, I thought for sure you were going to break into a Peter, Paul and Mary song. Enjoy your weekend.

[sometimes_miss]

Have a nice trip!
Many of us will be living vicariously, imagining ourselves taking a holiday as the girls we'd like to be.

[Heisthebride]

I hope your trip is amazing. Don?t miss the opportunity to expand the envelope. Consider dressing up while you drive or fly to your destination, you could check in to the hotel en femme too. Then there is no awkward sneaking out of the hotel after you?re dressed. Just own it be free. There should be no difference in going to a bar or restaurant than walking into the lobby of a hotel. Of course be careful and don?t do anything too crazy but this is an opportunity for growth as well as fun.

Have fun!

[CarlaWestin]

That false start nonsense is just residual guilt trip from bad social code during upbringing.
Don't worry, it just turns into laziness when you get older.

[NancySue]

Right! Go for it. Have a great time. I?m sure we?d like to hear of your adventures when you return.

[Rhonda Jean]

Thank you all so much for the well wishes!!!

I got well into a long detailed account, then got bored with it as I'm sure y'all would have been. The capsulized version...

I had my brows threaded and tinted the day before I left. I thought they got them a little thin for male mode, and the tinting always makes them a little much until the color fades a little. I get them done frequently, but they don't always look this DONE, if you know what I mean. I checked in Thursday night. Got a mani pedi Friday morning. I was easing into this, so I was wearing my usual long sweater and leggings, light makeup and earrings, no wig. Lots of mirrors in the nail salon, and I was not hating my reflection. Good start. Back to the hotel to put on my wig and bra and headed to DSW and the mall. I actually need clothes and shoes, so this shopping had purpose, instead of just killing time. A pair of modest open toe heels at DSW and a simple black mid-thigh skirt at Macy's at the mall, a bite to eat at the food court and back to the hotel before 7:30, where I stayed. I felt like the day went a little better than expected. It struck me how very nervous I was at the mall, and at the same time amazed that not that long ago I would have done it with ease as if I did it all the time. Success though, overall.

Saturday went much the same. The scariest part was the elevator at the hotel. Strangest part was paying full price for a bra and two pair of panties at Nordstrom! I wore my new skirt and heels and felt, ummm, good not great about how I looked. The only downer was I just couldn't find the courage to go into a sit-down restaurant for dinner. As usual when I'm out, I don't eat during the day and by evening I'm feeling it. This time I just drove through McDonalds. Everyplace was just so busy, I couldn't do it this time. I stopped at a liquor store and bought a bottle of cheap champagne for the room, drove around a bit and bought gas and was back at the room at about 8:15.

I drove back today In pretty much what I wear at home. Leggings, long top, mules, but added a little makeup and still had my nails done. Stopped at a couple of Goodwill stores on the way and bought a few things. Uneventful.

So, did I accomplish anything? As I write this tonight, I think I came back with more desire to do it again than I had prior. I gained some confidence, but it's starkly less confidence than I've ever had before. That's not all bad, though. I had gotten to where this was feeling too ordinary. The rush was pretty much gone. Certainly the fear and trepidation I felt this past weekend was also a rush when I over came it! It won't be long before I want to feel that again! I also am determined to improve. I've got to lose the rest of my covid weight, and this is strong motivation. Am I back in the game? Today I feel like it, but if I get too busy I know I could put it on the back burner.

To be brutally honest (with myself, too), I've wanted to be a woman for as long as I can remember. I never imagined myself as an old woman. Weirdly, until sometime in my 50's I looked remarkably like my mother. Over the past several years I've begun to looked more and more like my father. To be totally forthcoming, there have been times that I've done the makeup and earrings, with and without wig, and I look in the mirror and see my father in makeup and earrings. Not kidding around here. It's a little startling, and it's not easy to shake that off. It's a while before I see ME, if that makes any sense. When I can shake that image of my father and just see myself, I'm pretty at ease with how I look. One of those mind tricks I haven't mastered, though.

It won't be long before I have another try at this and maybe I'll have a more interesting report.

Thanks all!

Rhonda

[Emily in the south]

Looks like you had a nice weekend trip away & some good shopping. Did you also get to interact with anyone besides the sales people?

Good for you doing it, I am sure your future outings will just keep getting better.

Emily

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rhonda Jean, Just go for it, and don't look back,