I now wear skirts & tights... In public... In guy-mode...

[ellbee]

Anyone else do this? :wave2:


It's pretty cool & even a bit weird, but not even exactly sure how I got to this point! :roflmao:



For the past 2 winters now I've increasingly stepped-up my "dressing game," so to speak, at least around my apartment complex. I don't know what it is, but suddenly outdoor cold-weather CD'ing became... Well, really *fun* for me! :GD:

I've been having a blast. Everyone tends to be more bundled-up. Can't tell who's who sometimes, anyway, right?


Like, a typical winter outfit for me (women's head to toe) on any given day after work might be something like a fuller flared skirt (never below the knee :p ), a nice pair of thicker tights, some sort of footwear (flats? low-heeled booties?), a fitted feminine winter coat, with my hoodie's hood up. Basic idea, anyway.

Seriously, depending on how your pieces may fit you & how you wear 'em? More people than you may think might initially mistaken you for a GG! :heehee:



Anyway, apparently all my GG-neighbors have been on-board with all this for a while now, from what I've gathered... I mean, positive on some level or another. With some even more than others! Kinda blown away by it all, really. :thumbsup:

And even a few male-neighbors? Ummm... :o :devil:


The weird part? Not even trying to pass/blend/present as a GG, per se. No make-up, no wig, no body-padding, etc. Just letting the clothes do much of the job. Can certainly be done, when done well. And yes, it's been confirmed multiple times, LOL!


So, yeah... Just a biological male, wearing all women's stuff -- yet not automatically looking/wanting/demanding to be viewed & treated as a GG or trans or whatever, you know?

Just a feminine person, is all. Make of me what you will? All I ask is that we at least temporarily reciprocate a bit of human courtesy & respect, before we continue our way.

Anything more than that is gravy... :D




So, anyone else wear skirts & tights in guy-mode -- in public? Like, interacting & conversing with other people face-to-face on a somewhat-regular basis? But again, otherwise as a (femmy) guy, mind you.

I've grown pretty comfortable & confident with it. People are generally cool with it, at least in my case. It is a definitely a trip! :laughing:


And on a more serious note, neighbor-GG's over the past year or so basically welcoming me further into their club as an honorary member/guest is legit something special, though. Thank you! :)

[Krisi]

Not me. It's all male or all female, never half and half. I would find it hard to explain to friends and acquaintances why I was wearing women's clothes.

[Sandi Beech]

I have only gone out a limited number of times in what I would call hybrid mode with short skirts. I did have my forms on as well, but neck up I was all male. I was well received by people I did interact with, but it is not my favorite thing to do.

Of course I have gone out wearing very short and tight women?s shorts plus pantyhose a number of times. I like showing off my legs you know. Also, I do not have the issue of having to bundle up though in winter as my temp today will be about 70 : )

Sandi

[Heisthebride]

I don’t do it often but it is in my repertoire. A couple of times last summer it was really hot and humid and wearing jeans to work was uncomfortable, at least until I got in the air conditioned building. I decided to check the dress code and they had made a point of not assigning gender to any clothing type, I work for a company who is building their inclusivity credibility.. So I wore a nice just below the knee length skirt with my regular mens polo shirt in a complimentary color. I walked past the guard desk in the morning, worked my 8 hours, over lunch I walked to the pizza place about a 3/4 mile away through residential streets. It was lovely with bare legs from the knee down and occasionally a light breeze would blow up under the skirt. It was so much more comfortable that sticky denim jeans. It was nice not having to fully present but still enjoy a bit of crossdressing. As I am getting older I find I don’t care as much about what other people might think and it’s an opportunity to try to normalize crossdressing too.

I also just ordered a pair of fleece lined pantyhose from those directed ads on Facebook. They really are quite warm and now I can wear a skirt in the winter too if I want.

[kimdl93]

Its great that you have been accorded the guest membership.

I personally would never venture out my front door without completing a full-femme presentation. That is just my thing. Glad that you can make skirts&tights in semi-guy mode work so well for you!

[RI Chrissy]

I started wearing skirts and casual cotton shirt with b forms around the house , my GF hasn't said anything about me wearing skirts, I've venture ouside in the front yard a few times not caring if a neighbor sees me.

[DrFishnets]

I don?t go out in public in full femme mode but I do wear a short pleated black skirt and thick black tights hidden under a long coat in guy mode. It is quite exciting but I?m really wanting to pluck the courage and wear full make up, wig, dress, sheer black pantyhose and high heel knee length boots.

[Fiona_44]

90% of my time out & about is spent completely dressed en femme with the other 10% being dressed all male.

[ellbee]

As I am getting older I find I don?t care as much about what other people might think and it?s an opportunity to try to normalize crossdressing too.

Yep, pretty much where I'm coming from, too. :thumbsup:


And as long as you're not being all weird about it, and you look pretty presentable, making it work for you? Then yeah, it can be a pretty cool thing.

It's crazy how some GG's initially react when they first see you. I mean, some of us have been living here for a number of years now, so obviously they're used to seeing me wearing like a hoodie & women's leggings all the time. But when you're wearing a carefully-chosen skirt & tights?? :confused2: :laughing:


One quick example, GG-neighbor & I have known each for at least several years now. She's always been very on-board with it all from the start, with an uncanny knack of seeing me in some very femmy outfits, ha! Anyway, one evening I'm taking out the trash, with an obvious female profile/silhouette as a result of my outfit, and she's a bit behind me, not yet knowing that it's me. All she sees in front of her is, well, what appears to be an unknown adult woman who's a bit dressed up, yet still keeping it a little casual, too.

Anyway, trash in the dumpster, turn around, start heading back. We're now face-to-face, heading towards each other. Her reaction was priceless! :roflmao:

She had no idea it was a dude, LOL. Biggest grins on both our faces. She was like, "Yo... *GUUUUUURRRRRLLLLL!!*" She was pleasantly surprised & genuinely impressed. :p


And now she (and quite a few others) has now already seen me like this. I know she's totally down with it, as I figured she would. So, going forward? I mean, I do enjoy wearing skirts/tights during colder months (within reason!). Not a big deal to her. Good to know!



A GG-neighbor of a younger generation moved in last year. Our assigned parking is right next to each other. We've become great friends pretty quickly & easily. And she only knows me as trans, I guess you could say? :strugglin Totally fine with it, doesn't phase her at all.

We even got all dolled-up for Halloween, partying a bit with her fiance (non-CD'ing male) in our costumes. It was crazy! :GD: Honestly, I thought those days were over, but it was really fun.


And none of that would have happened, if I just kept the CD'ing behind closed doors, ya know? Also got a lot of honest feedback from her... She has confirmed that yes, multiple times, she originally thought a male/female couple shared my car! :lol:

So, when you're open from the start? Kinda makes things a whole lot easier & simpler. ;)



Anyway, there are things you can do, that I do, anyway, when dressing like this in guy-mode. For example, I keep a clean-shaven face pretty much at all times. I just don't think any kind of facial hair or even 5-o'clock shadow goes well with a short kicky skirt, ha! I also think some kind of head-wear is important, whether it's some kind of hat or whatever... My hood gives the general idea or impression of longer fuller hair -- or at least the best it could, considering I'm not wearing a wig.

So, I do try to help steer others' views on me, with minor cosmetic cues/markers, anyway, to make it a bit easier for them to digest. If that means I have to shift a bit more to the feminine side to make it work, without going uncomfortably overboard (for both parties!), then so be it. Enjoy it! I'm not here to shock, or make some kind of statement. Just want to live a normal life, and have a good & natural interaction with people. :)

I kinda put the ball in their court, too... Again, view & treat me how you genuinely want to. The freedom & choice is theirs, whatever they're comfortable with. Don't want to associate with me like this? Fair enough, we'll keep our courteous distance. Want to really embrace it, on the other hand? No qualms there, either.


Another thing I should mention, is that I don't really alter my voice. I just use my normal voice. Granted, I try to keep my throat clear. And I simply just try to let myself relax & feel free to adjust to what I'm wearing & how it's making me feel. Weird, but I end up being more friendly, talkative, smiling, polite, etc. And at the same time, my voice just naturally follows a more feminine version without thinking or forcing. Again, something else minor to help others bridge this different kind of gender gap.

I think it would be weird in my case if I tried using an intentional female voice (regardless how convincing it may or may not be, LOL!). If I did, I feel I would be now pushing others to accept me, perhaps creating a bit of stress or throwing them off a little, as female/GG/transwoman/etc., ya know? And I don't want that. How they relate to me is on them.



Anyway, everyone just has to follow their own path. Skirt & tights in guy-mode not your thang? Not an issue. Not for everyone, understood. Heck, it obviously wasn't for me, either -- at least for the longest time. These days, sometimes I legit feel uncomfortable *not* wearing that! :heehee:

And BTW, having a supportive someone in your life, like my new neighbor-bestie? Invaluable. I've done pretty well on my own throughout the years, but really takes a weight off when you need it. I make it known to her from time to time that I do appreciate her in my life. Always great having a welcomed buddy in your corner! :hugs:

[kimdl93]

Totally agree on the value of having supportive people in ones life.

[Rhonda Jean]

I do a lot in male mode but not skirts or dresses. Never say never, I guess.

I always look at the fashion runway shows, not that I'd ever wear any of it. For all the years I've been paying any attention there have always been a few guys in skirts and dresses. Seems like every year there are a few more. Some of them make some ridiculous attempt at masculinizing them, which I hate. Some could come straight from womenswear. They never catch on, and I have no idea why they keep throwing them out there except I guess it's supposed to be shocking, or grab a headline. I guess some things, if they do it long enough, begins to get a toe hold. Seems like ever menswear show has every guy carrying a purse, which seems to be getting a little traction. Some have the guys wearing nail polish, also getting traction. Makeup, at least obvious "feminine" makeup seems to be less frequent. The Blonds are a fashion designing couple. I don't know if Phillipe Blond is trans, cd, or what, but "he" opens and closes every show in something from their womenswear with nails, hair, and makeup and he is HOT!

I don't know who wears this stuff. I don't even know where they sell this stuff, but certainly there's a movement toward genderless fashion. I'm not sure I like it. How am I supposed to dress like a woman if there's no such thing as dressing as... anything! There are certain things that I really like in male mode. I'm once again getting on with purses, and I'm back to wearing polish after my mani pedi for a few days (toes always polished). Dresses and skirts, not yet at least. I have enough trouble finding a dress that looks good in girl mode. I can't imagine that it'd be any easier in male mode.

[ellbee]

And now she (and quite a few others) has now already seen me like this. I know she's totally down with it, as I figured she would. So, going forward? I mean, I do enjoy wearing skirts/tights during colder months (within reason!). Not a big deal to her. Good to know!


I'll be replying to some of you at a later point, but before I forget...


Regarding the above, keep in mind that this is *not* a full license to now really go wild, dig? ;)


In fact, I kinda intentionally pull back a bit, once a GG-neighbor has seen me in a skirt & tights for the first time. Meaning, I might start to wear skirts less for a while, on the notion that I'd rather her see me after that wearing like regular black leggings one day, kinda casual athleisure or something, ya know?

Not that I would, but to then start dressing up in like a really short tight skirt & high heels all the time? Yeah, no. :lol:

I'd think even neighbor-GG's might start to question things, and not in a good way -- never mind a CD'er's SO or something! :eek:


Yeah, pull back at that point. Tone it down for a while afterwards. No need to ramp up & moon-shot it.


GG's will dress up sometimes to varying degrees around here, as I'm sure they do everywhere. But not every day. Follow their lead.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I would love to see men in skirts etc become normal and socially acceptable. Guys like you are helping this happen. I don't have quite the courage you do, but today, once again, I travelled in leggings and went into the truck stops like it was normal, and maybe it's becoming normal. I can hope.

[Maid_Marion]

I should do that when we move away from the coldest days of winter. I wear skirts outside in the yard and at work.
But, this year I didn't gain the usual five pounds during the winter, so I've been wearing insulated Eddie Bauer pants to stay warm.

I just got a Cotton Citizen crop top and Vineyard Vines scalloped skirt today!

Marion

[ellbee]

I would love to see men in skirts etc become normal and socially acceptable. Guys like you are helping this happen. I don't have quite the courage you do, but today, once again, I travelled in leggings and went into the truck stops like it was normal, and maybe it's becoming normal. I can hope.

Thanks! :wave2:


I don't normally think of it that way, but when someone such as yourself reminds me, then yeah, each little outing, each little positive interaction, "helps the cause" that much more.

Then again, we wouldn't have gotten to where we are today, without those who came before us. ;)


Bottom line is, I just really like the skirt-&-tights look & feel, ya know? What can I say? :strugglin



Although on warmer days I may wear what would be considered *pantyhose* that's more sheer and/or maybe more sheen to them? I prefer heavier denier tights during the cooler/colder months. :thumbsup:

Keeps my legs & feet warm, plus a great look with all kinds of colors, finishes, even textures & prints.

I tend to stay with solid black, grays & browns, however. :laughing: Though I have been known to dabble in reds & purples, too -- so far. :devil:



I also wear fuller, flared skirts. Gives shape & volume to my hips & butt. Do I necessarily *want* that? No, because it felt like I was getting too girly with that... Fine for en-femme. But as a *guy*?? :eek:

However, here's the thing... My neighbor-bestie has been tasked with being my mirror & my fashion critic. And she's been doing a bang-up job! She's kinda artsy/creative & can get pretty girly herself, to boot. I trust her judgement... And she does it in a tactful way.

I've learned a lot, and when she said I needed a fuller hip & butt somehow, even in guy-mode? She was right. With the right types of skirts, I am pretty much looking like a legit GG (at least from below the neck! :roflmao: ).


My neighbors have reacted positively, knock on wood. The GG's love it -- and apparently so do a few of the guys, albeit in a different way. :confused2:


Seriously, you have to make sure it works -- for your body, your personality, your environment. Yes, I look like a chick when I do it... But that's the only way it's really gonna work, from a fashion & aesthetic sense. Whatever. No getting around it, oh well! :battingeyelashes:

But you also have to have confidence & momentum. You have to own it. Otherwise, you may trip & fall on yer face. :sad:


It's funny, but I recently realized I've developed a natural strut, depending on how I'm dressed & type of footwear. For example, almost dancing in flats... With a subtle but definitive feminine strut when wearing my military booties. Or how about the way you move in a flouncy skirt versus fluttery wide-leg pants? :heehee:



Yes, I wear full-on obvious women's outfits, as a guy. Never been happier.


Again, I simply stopped caring (for the most part) what others may think of me & this.

Ironically, in doing so? My neighbors & I now care about one another & our neighborhood, more than ever! Crazy, yet true...

[Andie]

I go out as a male in a skirt, all the time. Mostly as I go hiking. I’ve also been out just running errands in skirt and nice tee shirt.
All my neighbors have seen me in a skirt.

[ellbee]

Ha, so get this...! :devil:


Moments ago I was out in my car, perhaps or perhaps not having what one may consider a sort of night-cap, or something? :strugglin


Regardless, I was just sitting there, about ready to head back inside as it's getting late, when I hear & see one of my neighbors pull up somewhat near me. Hey, I know who that is! :wave2:


Out the car I go, to head back inside to the warmth & good tunes! :GD:


Now, mind you, prior to heading out earlier, I had changed into a short flared charcoal skirt & sheer dark hose. Mild & dry, so black flats tonight.

Here's the other key component to pulling off the "guy-in-a-skirt" look: A stylish, proper-fitting feminine women's winter coat! :battingeyelashes:


The one I'm wearing now, in black, is the longest I own. It comes down so long on me, especially since I lost more weight since I bought it, *and* it's cut with such a femmy silhouette, from the shoulders to waist to hips, that it literally looks like I'm wearing a fit-&-flare dress, LOL!


So, I mean, if I'm already going that far, is a skirt & hose too much more to ask, honestly? :roflmao:



Anyway, back to my neighbor...

It's an older gentleman, who I believe might be getting home late from work... I think he has some shift that starts later in the day?

He's sweet enough with all this. Seems like he gets a good-natured kick out of it, that sort of level. That said, he's not *completely* on-board, either, from what I can tell.


But it's still fun to mess around with guys like him, yeah...? A girl's gotta do what she can get away with. :heehee:


So, I float along past his car, in my whispery ballet flats, knowing full well that I'm in his line of vision, with the outdoor lights as a spotlight on me -- as are his eyes. Oh, yeah... I'm feeling it, baby! :GD:

As my neighbor-bestie has confirmed, odds are (but not guaranteed) he thought he was looking at a GG just now! :battingeyelashes:

Really doesn't take much... Feminine shoulders, high-cut narrow waist, flared hips & butt? And how about those gams, hubba hubba! Minimize the masculine, accentuate the feminine, and you, too, can become a femmy-male who's mistaken for a real girl! :lol2:

(Just remember about other "silly" things like posture & movement & gait & what-not, ha!)



Yeah, sometimes with male-neighbors who I already know would be cool with a little eye-candy flirty type thingies going on? I may or may not indulge in a little fun with them! Harmless & innocent, of course. (And I'm a single lady, so...)

I also do it a bit with a couple of the property maintenance guys, along with another older male-neighbor (apparently single) who has really been coming along with all this... Though I should probably cool it, as I think he might actually kinda be into me now! :eek:



Seriously, girls... Wearing a shorter flared-type skirt, particularly in guy-mode, can be quite a surreal experience. Wield that power & responsibility wisely! :)

[Jamie390]

I have been in hotel pools while wearing a womans swim suit many times, hairy chest, beard, and all.I wait until later in the evening so there is less of a chance of being seen. I have however been "busted" a few times.⁸

[Krea]

Ellbee, i love that skirt, tights & boots winter look as well.
In the last month i have been out shopping several times in skirt & tights, ankle boots and girly hoodie. I identify as non-binary, but the wider world still see a person who is clearly a genetic male wearing these things.
Peoples' reactions have been fine, varying from indifferent to actually complimentary. My wife has shown a couple of piccys of me in these outfits to some of our colleagues and they were very complimentary and supportive. :thumbsup:

It's always enjoyable to read your posts as they offer a great example of confidence and positivity to others. Thank-you for sharing your experiences with us. :)

[April Rose]

The guy who cashed me out in the hardware store yesterday, had mid-back length hair and a perfect french tip manicure. Otherwise complete guy mode. I wear gold hoop earrings, 24/7. Neither of us commented on the others appearance. Little by little, the world is changing.

[ellbee]

Oh, Krea... You are one of those rare breeds who are so far & few between. :worship: :dom:


I remember years ago, kinda when I first became a member here. There was a natal male in the US, don't remember their user-name, who simply decided "screw it" one day, threw on a flared skirt with some black tights, flats maybe? Then just unisex jacket & out the door for an eat-in lunch somewhere by himself. Said it was crazy, but just didn't care anymore. They absolutely loved it. Started doing it a whole lot more after that. I remember them posting a few pics, too... I personally thought he looked perfectly fine, the way he did it! Like, if I saw that "out in the wild"? I may be a bit biased, but I think it would kinda initially catch my eye, only to see nothing really out of the ordinary (because he's making it work for him, that's it's natural/"normal"), think to myself "cool, good for him, takes guts" and simply continue on doing whatever I was doing.


Hey, seriously... If you can do that? Out in the *public* public? Major props. I know there may be a few of you still here. Being "confined" to my large, multi-building apartment complex where I've lived for years, is plenty good for me, thanks! :laughing:

Doing what you do takes major ones, my friend. I used to do that a lot with leggings as stand-alone pants, but skirts & tights are a whole new can of worms. My neighbor-bestie said she could see a guy wearing pink floral leggings, but it wouldn't be CD'ing to her... But a guy in a skirt or dress? That just crossed into a whole other realm for her. She has no problem with it whatsoever, for real... But I guess in her mind there's a bit of a shift when that happens. Maybe true for many GG's, who knows.


And that's what I wanted to discuss. :wave2:



Its great that you have been accorded the guest membership.


Totally agree on the value of having supportive people in ones life.

What, did you actually think I *wouldn't* eventually reply to this?? It's the absolute best part of all this! :GD:


I want to share a little story. Happened this past Halloween, when my new neighbor-bestie & I got together. We got all dolled-up & wore our DIY costumes... Yes, basically I dressed as a GG who dressed up in a Halloween costume. We looked fantastic! It was the first time I went totally en femme, even wearing a skirt & hose, in front of her... Well, while her understanding I *wasn't* actually my non-existent GF/wife! :roflmao:

We had an absolute blast. Very surreal. If I had more time to get ready I would have done more make-up, but she was still legit impressed by the end-result. I hadn't done that in a while, get all dolled-up & hang out with peeps I know. Her non-CD'ing fiance was very cool with it, too.

Anyway, at one point during the evening, she & I were leaving my apartment, to go upstairs to hers. She stepped out to the hallway first, then suddenly politely started blocking me a little. Didn't know what was going on, then heard a rattling of keys or something from an unknown 3rd person. Ahhh, got it... She was trying to shield me so I wouldn't freak out or get embarrassed by another person! I'm like, "Oh, I don't care... Thanks, though!" and gently pushed her aside, LOL.

Looking out for me like that, really sweet of her. We actually discussed it like a week later. I guess she didn't believe me that I've been around the block a few times, in more ways than one? :p


So, when this other person saw the two of us? Two feminine-looking people, all tarted-up a bit in cute, eye-appealing Halloween costumes? Yeah, that's gonna put a big smile on pretty much anyone's face, no matter what kind of day they might be having! Seriously, I've studied this out in the wild. Everyone loves feminine Halloween costumes & accessories out in public -- even if it's in the middle of the day at the grocery store or something! :yippee:

Crazy, but true. Some kind of universal sociological thing. And yes, there were 3 big smiles in that hallway, as we said our hello's & Happy Halloween's & what-not. I even held the door open for this woman at one point.


I didn't really know who she was. Older than me, have seen her around before, but always going upstairs somewhere. Turns out, according my neighbor-bestie? She's the daughter of an elderly resident (her mom) who apparently has been having some health issues. Serious enough, that she had to move in so she could take care of her mother a lot better. I remember her, makes sense that I haven't seen her in a while. So sad... :sad:


Again, a GG stepping up & looking out for another GG. :thumbsup:


If anyone deserved to smile so much, even if only for a moment? It was her, no doubt.


So glad the two of us could bring her such an unexpected & priceless gift... :)

[happybra]

After years of wanting to wear a skirt a just went for it with some gender neutral looking skirts. My wife said I look really good in them and went with it and wearing in public, no one even seemed to notice. I say go for it, live your life!

[ellbee]

Having a GG as a fashion sounding board is essential, IMO. Absolutely! If she's willing, of course.


Seriously... Wife/GF, sister, sister-in-law, friend, co-worker, neighbor, cousin, whoever!


I've employed many of my new neighbor-friend's recommendations of do's & dont's. I gotta say, she's been pretty spot-on! :thumbsup:


At least in my case, she made a lot of sense -- but that still didn't mean I was initially thrilled with it all. I mean, she was nudging me to present girlier & girlier in various ways -- while still in guy-mode! :eek:

I hated doing it. Yet I still did it anyway. Weird part, she was absolutely right. I really improved my presentation, in a way that I wouldn't have done completely on my own. And my confidence & enjoyment just grew from there. Others have approved, as well.

The other weird part? I now love doing it! :GD:



P.S. Almost forgot: My GG-neighbor-friend? Prior to Halloween, I had asked her if she'd be okay with us sitting here talking like we are right now, but with me wearing a skirt & hose/tights (instead of the usual leggings or shorts). Just didn't want to accidentally drop some kinda drama-bomb out of the blue on her, resulting in a little freak-out or whatever, ya know? :laughing:

Maybe just her, but she said (and has followed-through multiple times!) it's totally no big deal to her, which is cool & good to know. I suppose it helped that she already knew me pretty well by then, so she knew I didn't have some kind of weird/creepy motive or something, either. :confused2:

And when she saw me on Halloween? Just out of courtesy, I asked her, having now seen me like this, would her *fiance* have any issue hanging out with me like this? Nope! It was so bizarre, but later in the evening, I think she was messing with him a little... Because she somehow had me modeling for him as some sort of "inadvertent" tease! :roflmao:

Of course, I knew what was going on, and knew that he'd like it. So I happily obliged, which I believe pleased her, as well. But now we're starting to dig a little too deep into this interesting relationship of ours... :devil:

[Patience]

There used to be a regular on the forum; I think his name is MarkB or something like that and he pretty much crossdressed everywhere, but only from the neck down. No makeup and no wig, just a bald head.

Mark would wear these lovely professional looking fem outfits during his commute by train and presumably at work as well. He was literally a MIAD. I even saw a link to an article about him on Facebook once. I think he's from Germany.

Nice to see you're making progress (and friends) closer to home.

[Jillian Faith]

Not me. It's all male or all female, never half and half. I would find it hard to explain to friends and acquaintances why I was wearing women's clothes.

Like Kris I either present 100% male or 100% female. As for my friends they just wouldn't understand why any male would dress enfemme.

[ellbee]

Nice to see you're making progress (and friends) closer to home.

Yeah, it's weird. One could argue that I've kinda been transitioning *socially*, anyway. Been here a couple times earlier in my life... Though each era is a bit different (older more-experienced self, new environment with new people, cultural/social shifts re: LGBT, etc.).

Definitely a much-needed & even long-overdue inclusion into a part of society that previously was a bit more off-limits to me, rightfully so. The GG's in my neighborhood have been absolutely wonderful... And I'm even starting to feel more comfortable around certain men.


Anyway, yes, I remember MarkB. I can see why he would do what he does, but just not for me personally. I will say that what he does? Takes steel ones, I assure you. :eek:

However, he's not the chap I was originally thinking of, who pre-dated Mark here by years.



Now, where were we? Ah, yes... Skirts & tights, in guy-mode! :GD:


My first & only outfit of the day, since early this morning, is the skirt/tights/flats thing. Hoodie, winter hat, long femmy winter coat, etc.

I've gone out to my car multiple times to enjoy my, ummm... Morning/afternoon "cups of tea." Hey, legal in my state, anyway? :heehee:


At some point, I was like, I can't do this. Skirt & tights in guy-mode in broad daylight is too tough. And more & more people are starting to mill about. :sad:


Then I told myself: Tough noogies, girl! You intentionally & voluntarily chose your outfit this morning. You didn't have to go this route. Yet, you couldn't resist. You thought you could just back out anytime. Nope! Not in my house, young lady! :roflmao:

And then she made me keep the skirt & tights & flats on, indefinitely. What a total bitch! :lol:


Well, what has helped me keep going, was seeing two GG's wearing skirts, as well, throughout the day so far. Guess I'm in good company! :thumbsup:


BTW, that's something else to consider: Do the GG's in your neck of the woods tend to wear skirts/dresses more often during certain days of the week, time of year, maybe changes in weather?

Others seeing yet another someone else (you!) wearing a skirt on any given day, the same day that GG's may be more likely to wear one? That would help you blend that much better, otherwise. Yeah? Definitely makes things easier, doing things together with others. ;)


Easier said than done, but have confidence, ladies. Stop caring. Do it well & just own it! :battingeyelashes:

[Jamie001]

Like Kris I either present 100% male or 100% female. As for my friends they just wouldn't understand why any male would dress enfemme.

Jillian,

This is one of the problems that we face. It is our duty to educate them as to why men would wear feminine items. You can do this by wearing feminine items while otherwise presenting as a male or non-binary. It is how women won their fashion freedom to wear anything! They simply wore whatever they wanted to wear without attempting to emulate a man. So why not put on a skirt and and some girl shoes and just be yourself? There is no reason why not. I have found that the fear really exists in our own minds. Airlines are even allowing flight attendants and pilot choice and the ability to mix up items from the female and male uniforms. In other words, a flight attendant or pilot could wear a male suit with women's shoes or a women's suit with male shoes. That is just one example. Let's make strides together and have the courage that women had years ago that allowed them to earn their fashion freedom. Are we as courageous at those women? I think it's time to put on your Big Girl Panties and other clothing and get out there and show that world that we are fine with appearing as a feminine male.

[ellbee]

Oh, GG's & transwomen (and people like us! :wave2: ) I feel *continue* to earn, every day, our fashion freedom.


I mean, is there really any other way? :strugglin Nature of the beast, I suppose. And that's fine.


Also, our duty to educate? Suppose someone doesn't want any education, for whatever reason(s), valid or otherwise? I mean, we should always be open to offer it. But personally, anyway? I don't feel like I'm on any crusade or anything, ya know?

Just doing me, going about my life. Make of it what you will. :)



BTW, never be afraid to push yourself every now & then. Silly little case-in-point....?


I had just finished up in my car, gearing up to head back inside my apartment. Know what happens sometimes? I wear only "women's things" as much as possible outside of work. It's my default these days. I can handle presenting 100%-guy for work, at least... But anything more than that just ain't happening! :laughing:


So, sometimes I "forget" how I'm dressed... You know, because I've been doing it for so long now on basically a daily basis, that it just feels normal & natural, that I'm just wearing "my clothes."

Then I'm like: Oh, yeah... I may feel comfortable, but how might *others* feel? Good, bad, indifferent? Will they hate it & want to avoid me? Will a GG absolutely gush over me, LOL? (Yes, it happens from time to time. :battingeyelashes: ) Will a "straight" guy start checking me out, being extra nice to me? OMG, this is kinda crazy, if you stop & think about it!! :roflmao:

Obviously I need a moment to compose myself, ha!


And that's when it happens, totally out of the blue: Random Amazon delivery driver pulls up to my building. That's my cue to head inside. Immediately. :devil:

Yeah, I could feel his eyes on me. Sitting in his van, inbetween deliveries, watching what apparently is a GG ( :heehee: ) walking directly past him. Oh, what a little treat during this otherwise God-awful job! he thinks to himself.

Just when I'm about out of range, I turn around... Yep, he's looking at me, confirmed! :confused2:

(Think it was the skirt & tights, perhaps?)


But, I did it. You gotta face your fears sometimes. Just some Amazon delivery guy that I may see once or twice more, if we're lucky, before he quits & we never see each other ever again! :p

So, who cares, really? It's good practice, is all. Anyone can do it.

And this just doesn't apply to only "guy-moding" it... If someone feels the need to go out in public en femme? Then just do it. If you get "read," but nothing comes of it, then does it really matter? They shrugged, you shrugged, life went on. Maybe made their day a little more interesting?


Finally, does Mr. Amazon realize what he was actually looking at a few moments ago? Suppose he did? Suppose he didn't? No harm, no foul.


This is one way to build some confidence, yeah? :)

[ellbee]

Making a conscious effort to challenge yourself is how you grow & develop into a better person.


Today has so far been the perfect example...

Outfit for the day? The skirt/tights/flats thing again, in guy-mode. A couple days ago I went the whole day in a similar outfit. Wasn't always easy, but by the end, it had been a total nothing-burger.

Will today be a repeat? No, because I do need to run some errands later... And no way am I *not* gonna change first! :roflmao:


Yeah, I'm a chicken. Admitted. :sad:


In the meantime? Up before sunrise. Dressed & then out to my car for some "morning joe." ;)

Just chilling, pretty scenic view of the sunrise. About half an hour later, time to go back inside.

Huh, interesting... Came out in the dark, yet now is waaaay sunnier & more people are out & about. And I'm wearing what again?!? Eek! :confused2:

Not much you can do at that point, except put on your big-girl panties, a happy smile, and go about your way. Oh, well! Challenge accepted. :p


Well, if you've done your job right? People won't bat an eye. Why? Because decent chance they see Skirt/Tights/LongWinterCoat... Oh, just some woman walking across the parking lot on a weekday morning.

In which case, it's no big deal. Even if they see you. You might just be some sort of random "extra" on the set of their life movie, pretty unimportant in the star's eyes (yet still a role, nonetheless!).


There was a time where I would shy away from people, when dressed like this. If I was too nervous or whatever at the time, I used to maybe wait an extra 5-10 seconds so they could leave the vicinity first. Or, maybe use the side entrance instead of the main one, where I would have otherwise had to interact with them.

But by challenging myself sometimes? After a while, you can turn the dreaded "Uh oh, here comes someone, this is gonna suck... :sad: " thingie into a much better, "Ooh, someone's coming my way... Cool, wonder who it is! :yippee: "


Part of what helped get me there? Sometimes that "someone" is not the bogeyman -- but perhaps actually one of your friendliest & most supportive girly-girl GG-neighbors! Thank God it's her! :thumbsup: Umm, what was I so worried about?? :strugglin

And if on the rare occasion it *is* the bogeyman? Well, face your fears. Only thing you can do. Don't instinctively run away in the other direction -- run *towards* it, instead.

I do this now in certain situations when presenting like this around my neighborhood. For example, sometimes I will try to time it by waiting a extra few seconds, so I *do* end up with an opportunity to interact with them! :devil:


And one of the reasons I do? The lure of the rewards. If I hadn't challenged myself with all this, I never would have met my new neighbor-bestie! Seriously, she's really cool with the whole trans thing, even embracing it. Great to have someone like her in my life. Everyone should have that. :)

[Bea_]

i don't think strangers would phase me too terribly much were it to decide to just go out in hybrid mode. I've only gone from my car to my therapist's office a few times dressed in hybrid mode including a beard. I encountered a few people in the process and actually felt good about those encounters. But, my wife's acceptance is limited to my being private. So, I keep my therapy outfits between myself and my therapist with my wife knowing that I might dress for the sessions, but not what I wear.

[RoxieGrl]

Not to change the subject, but I find it interesting that it is quite universally acceptable for women to go out in men's clothing, so why should it not be universally acceptable for men to go out in women's clothing? Just a thought I have had for quite some time.

[char GG]

Not sure what your definition of Men’s clothes is. Jeans? Pants? Men’s underwear?

Most women buy their clothes in he women’s department and are not trying to emulate a man. Therefore, they are not men’s clothes.

In most places, men are wearing “women’ clothes”. Just look at all of posts here. Nothing to stop you but yourself.

[Bea_]

Not sure what your definition of Men?s clothes is. Jeans? Pants? Men?s underwear?

Most women buy their clothes in he women?s department and are not trying to emulate a man. Therefore, they are not men?s clothes.

In most places, men are wearing ?women? clothes?. Just look at all of posts here. Nothing to stop you but yourself.

I don't emulate a woman. I love being a man and, no matter what I'm wearing, I am wearing with a full beard and prefer it that way.

But, anyone like me is still GOING to face a backlash if he goes out in public. I might be willing to accept that backlash and just consider the source. My wife is definitely not willing to face the external backlash and would definitely give me some extreme backlash of her own.

Men like me are at a stage where women were a hundred years ago when it was still illegal for women to wear pants in public in certain locals. We could storm the walls and face the carnage, but forcing our loved ones to deal with that carnage makes the prospect unappealing.

You are accepting of men like us and we all appreciate you for it. But, there are definitely things external to many/most of us here on the forums that stop us.

[Cheryl T]

Not something I would want to do.
It's one or the other. Most of the time I'm Cheryl these days. Personally I just don't get the MIAD thing.

[ellbee]

I'd say in quite a few cases, when GG's are wearing stuff from the men's department? Only 1 or 2 pieces per outfit, mixed in with their GG-clothing. And if they do it right, most people wouldn't even be able to tell/notice.

And it's not exactly like most of them are wearing like a nice suit & dress shoes, ya know? Think of what the equivalent is for a M2F CD'er. ;)


All too easy for a CD'er to push the extremes & dress to the nines. Of course, gotta also have the accompanying wig & make-up & jewelry & nails & perfume and...

One could argue that it's too much. And too much of "the wrong thing" that sends some people perhaps the wrong message, giving them a sour look on M2F CD'ing.


We are natal/biological males. You really have to make it work for you, as best you can, with this undeniable fact. Only way you're gonna be able to do it.

I do it with skirts & tights in guy-mode, of course. Have to be selective of which ones (styles, fabrics, colors, lengths, sheen, denier, etc.) -- and then just as selective with the rest of the outfit.

I suppose I also recognize my strengths & weaknesses, and play off that. For example, I'm 5'9"... Perhaps a bit on the taller side for GG's, but not unreasonable. Put it this way: I have guy-shoes that have higher "heels" than most of what I wear in *women's*! IOW, my height is staying more or less the same, which helps give me that much more of an edge. Another example, my hips are too narrow for my shoulders... Luckily, there are certain things to wear (and to stay away from!) that help give the appearance of balancing that out for a more feminine shape -- without the use of padding/shapewear, mind you.

So, a fit 5'9" in flats, clean-shaven baby-face, hat/hood for "hair," full women's outfit including a *skirt* of all things, with kinda-sorta a profile/silhouette of an adult female? Even if they realize I'm a guy right off the bat, or takes them a bit? I think they're more likely to be like "whatever" about it, because it doesn't look *too* out of whack from the "normalcy" one would expect... That it probably looks more GG than otherwise. So, while they might not be crazy about the general idea of gender-bending, maybe they'll give me a pass.


I suppose it may appear a bit out of sorts to some, as some sort of "contradiction," like if I had a full beard like Bea. In which case, I believe more people may be a bit less forgiving, given everything else with my overall presentation.

*However*... :D

As mentioned earlier, you really have to make it work, tailoring it to your own uniqueness. What kind of things from the women's department would look good with a full beard? Beats me, because I've never had to look into that before as it's never applied to me. But if I had to guess? Gotta be *some* stuff! Solid masculine/neutral colors? Traditional/conservative prints & plaids? Femmy combat boots with thick (women's) socks? I dunno. :strugglin



It's "funny," but I recall a conversation I had with my neighbor-bestie a while back -- who was born & raised in a part of the country where none of this stuff flies particularly well, ya know...?

"So, like, I'd probably get my butt kicked dressed like this there, yeah?"

"Yep."

"Well, I can handle myself pretty well, so there better be more than one."

Her, in 100% seriousness: "Oh, there would be like twenty guys, don't worry."

:confused2:


Places like this still exist. I don't live there, and nor would I want to. (She & her lesbian sister escaped as soon as they could.)

So, try to keep that in mind. It's "easy" for me to do this because of where I am. Good place, good time.

Otherwise, kinda beats the alternative of a couple weeks in the ICU, yeah? ;)

[Britney Summers]

This is an interesting topic as I had the similar thoughts. I had recently got a plain shirtdress and was going to wear it outside in the yard when it gets warmer out with a black miniskirt under it so it might look like shorts from a distance if it comes up a little bit.

I have zero privacy as I can be seen in almost all of the yard by neighbors. They ain't the right kind if you know what I mean.

[nancy58]

That is confidence, indeed. I am getting to be very comfortable with going out in public fully dressed en femme, but the idea of going out wearing unambiguously feminine clothing terrifies me.

[NonbiNancy]

Interesting thread Ellbee. I very seldom wear men's clothes, BUT I keep it nonbinary (no skirts) in public. Tight women's jeans, leggings, long sweaters, long hoodies and t-shirts (always in "women's colors"). I have alopecia so I have no facial or body hair (yay!) so looking nonbinary is really easy. I also wear scarves on my head sometimes so I think (depending on what I'm wearing) people may be curious about my gender when they see me (not obvious).

[Bea_]

I suppose it may appear a bit out of sorts to some, as some sort of "contradiction," like if I had a full beard like Bea. In which case, I believe more people may be a bit less forgiving, given everything else with my overall presentation.

*However*... :D

As mentioned earlier, you really have to make it work, tailoring it to your own uniqueness. What kind of things from the women's department would look good with a full beard? Beats me, because I've never had to look into that before as it's never applied to me. But if I had to guess? Gotta be *some* stuff! Solid masculine/neutral colors? Traditional/conservative prints & plaids? Femmy combat boots with thick (women's) socks? I dunno. :strugglin




Your original post is about being dressed in femme clothes while in guy mode. I'm finding that the beard is not much more of a giveaway than a lot of other tells. I've got a hard brow line, broad shoulders and there is nothing feminine about my physique. My beard covers up a misshaped jawline that I hate so the tradeoff is worth it to me. I'd make an ugly woman and, with the beard, my 'man' persona is much better looking.

"Making it work" for me would not be neutral or conservative. I prefer to look like a man who chooses a "pretty" look rather than as a woman. For that reason, I'll probably just stay home...

[Krisi]

Not to change the subject, but I find it interesting that it is quite universally acceptable for women to go out in men's clothing, so why should it not be universally acceptable for men to go out in women's clothing? Just a thought I have had for quite some time.

The only women I see out in men's clothing are lesbians.

[Gillian Gigs]

My hat is tipped to you, ellbee, You are boldly going in your own chosen direction. In a kind loving world that I see in my mind, people would wear what they choose and live at peace with their neighbours. Alas that just isn't so, in my neck of the world. I would definitely wear skirts and hosiery all the time as weather permits. Most of your sentiments, I think the same, post # 15 is spot on.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

Regarding women who wear "men's" clothing: I think the point is something that I've told many friends about who don't know about my weird hobby. Basically, there is nothing in the man's side of the closet (pretending that there are no size issues) that a woman couldn't put on and wear to Walmart without turning heads. The same is not true for her side of the closet and what he could wear. She can wear pants, men's shirts, even neckties. He can't even wear her t-shirts, forget about her Daisy Dukes or sundress. At least he can't while conforming to social norms, which is what I, for one, wish we could change.

[Georgina]

Don't forget that if you are wearing a skirt and are a crossdresser you are a man.

[Ann Simpson]

Like a long ago member here, I go for the Iowa farm wife look.

[CDMargret]

I have got to get my shape back. Had a cold that would not let go this winter and my belly looks full of jelly. I love getting out dressed up and want to try a few stores yet I have a few months of hard working out ahead. In December I was out in heavy black leggings in some what guy mode and no one even noticed.