Thinking about crossdressing a lot

[Sandi Beech]

I get to go out dressed up occasionally, and I usually have a really good time when I do. Even so, it is a small percentage of time overall, so I think about crossdressing a LOT. There are periods when I am so preoccupied by other activities that the thoughts take a back seat for a while;however, any idle time invites those thoughts to come back. Since I have been doing this for the last six years, I suppose I have some degree of balance. Even so, I wonder if the amount of time I spend dwelling on crossdressing could be unhealthy to a degree.

It is probably just as well I keep things to myself as the crossdressing is all about me. I suspect that has been an issue in some marriages. I can see how even an accepting spouse might be turned off by a mate if it is an obsession.

Finding that balance is delicate and tricky for some of us. It is still a work in progress for me.

Do you think about it a lot as well?

Sandi

[Patience]

Water finds its own level, for better or for worse.

There are lots of things folks would like to do more of but can't because life gets in the way. Sure, one can make time for it if one's really committed, but things are less enjoyable when they have to be rushed.

I feel crossdressing is a bit like that. If you can't savor every moment, it feels a bit like a waste of time; sort of like a bad pizza.

[TheHiddenMe]

Yes. All the time.

Not too obsessively, but I think about it probably at LEAST once a day, and generally check this site of the blogs I follow at least once a day.

[Sandi Beech]

Patience,

Yes I think it is very true for me, that if I could dress all the time, I would not get the enjoyment and thrill that I get when able to do so. So I guess I should be happy with what I have now.

Sandi

[Crissy 107]

Interesting point by Patience about water finding its own level. Yes I think about CDing every day, just like I wonder where we would all be without this site.

[kimdl93]

More than I should, perhaps. I sometimes view my desire to cross dress as an addictive behavior or perhaps an expression of OCD. When viewed as a pathology, I renew the feelings of embarrassment, shame and guilt. But I have been through therapy and the key takeaway was cross dressing is not a pathology. The way one responds to the desire to cross dress can become a problem, such as when one experiences relationships, employment or financial as a result.

I have tried to answer this for myself many times and I come up with conflicting responses. Overall, I do not believe that my gender identity or cross dressing behavior are hurtful. Yes, a marriage ended, but at the time I had taken an 18 month hiatus from dressing. My ex just couldn’t get it out of her mind. Other than that, I have not suffered financially, have kept as gainfully employed as I want, and I have good family relationships.

I have noticed a tendency procrastinate, and thoughts of cross dressing are among the various ways I sometimes distract myself from tasks I find less enjoyable.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm not trans but crossdressing has become my life!:tongueout

[NancySue]

When I was working. Absolutely. I know what you mean. The PF is relentless. However, since retirement, I dress almost every day, definitely panties, bra and hose. A supportive wife is a blessing.

[Debbie Denier]

I think about it more than I should do. Sometimes obsessively. Agree with Patience. Need to have the time to not be rushed and when I do I savour the moments.

[Rhonda Jean]

Less so now, but for DECADES I was obsessed. I have the ex wife to prove it!

[Geena75]

I do think about it quite a bit. For the last few months, it was close to obsession, but I was finally dressing fully and getting out regularly. Now I'm getting back into my usual male mode (haven't shaved in almost a month), but still dwell on it some. My best time is my nearly hour commute to and from work.

As warm weather sets in and outdoor work multiplies I will have less down time and far less Geena time. Still, I keep up with a number of ladies on line. Between that and my continuing story writing, I don't go long without thinking about it. Sort of like going on a terrific vacation -- it stays with you for a while.

I think I have achieved a reasonable balance since my mind can veer into another of my varied interests for hours or days at a time.

[alwayshave]

Sandi, I do net get to dress often enough, so I think about dressing all the time.

[BTWimRobin]

Hi Sandi,

It's constantly at the forefront of my mind and I think about it with each breath I take.

[Jillcder]

I think about it too much and take advantage of my girl time every opportunity I get. I wonder if I was out to my wife and allowed to dress full time if the desire would decrease or would I be a full time dresser. I need to find a comfortable balance great question Sandi.

[GretchenM]

I accepted my gender variance between 10 and 11 years ago. I am now quite stable in that acceptance, but in the past when I was not I often thought about it and its expression a great deal. Even to the extent that it was a huge distraction in my life. I still have brief periods of that, but they are getting more and more rare - either more total acceptance of who I am or I am just getting too old. I suspect the latter is really a minor factor and the former much more likely. I am just happier with who I am and rarely experience any dysphoria which, in some of its many forms, is known to be a trigger for preoccupation with that aspect of ourselves.

[CynthiaD]

One way to keep it under control is to crossdress a lot. I crossdress every day, even if only for a short time. I sleep in a nightie and a wig, and usually some jewelry. In the morning I switch from a nightie to a dress. If I have "boy" things to do, I switch to male mode for a while, but switch back to female mode as soon as I can. I usually spend an hour or two every day shopping for female stuff, but I don’t obsess about it all the time, like I used to.

I consider my male clothing to be some kind of costume or uniform that I'm forced to wear occasionally. My female clothing is my normal clothing. Being normal as much as possible really helps.

[Sandi Beech]

A huge distraction is actually a good way of describing how thinking about CD affects my daily activities. I am not able to tell how much of it is dysphoria vs escapism vs sexuality vs general excitement in contrast with my dull drab lifestyle because it is all intermixed.

Distraction it is. Even so it is a fun one so I can not say it is all bad. It does pull me away from doing other things I should be doing at times.

Sandi

[CarlaWestin]

Sandy, instead of vs, as though one fights the other, it's enjoyable to have them all blended together. If dysphoria is still questionable, it's probably not but, the wonderment could be erotic,
like the general excitement I get from the escapism to a place that makes the everyday mundane feel nearly boring at times.
The expansion of time in retirement has allowed for as much CD enjoyment as the full life stuff.
'It is what it is' is the perfect mantra for self acceptance. I feel extremely fortunate that I have an incredibly enjoyable and adventurous activity.

[Sandi Beech]

Carla,

No doubt about it. Much of the attraction to my time spent Sandi is that my outings are far more exciting than what my boring male life has to offer. Of course it is an illusion but a very powerful one. The feelings and effects blend together for me as well. I just can not decipher the percentages of the mixture. I just know I am thinking about it a lot more than I probably should; although, I can not say it has caused any significant problems for me yet. We will see as time goes on.

Sandi

[jacques]

been there, done that, bought the vest top!

[Natalie5004]

I wake up thinking about what I want to wear for the day and what things I need to do. I can dress at least 3x a week during the day. That really keeps the Pink Fog at bay.

If I get 4 to 5 days without dressing I can feel myself getting pouty, if that is a word.

My will will bring it up once in a while. I have not been in her company dressed for at least 2 months. I would really, really love to go for dinner with her as Natalie.

It is not a compulsion for me. More like a way to release calmness to myself.

[BrendaPDX]

Not a day goes by that I don't think about dressing, sometimes several times a day, if I am lucky.

[Judy-Somthing]

I haven't been able to dress in a year. I've been getting into some hobbies, one is learning how to read sheet music.
So far I find it very annoying but, I'm slowly getting it.

Maybe if I had a dress on while studying the sheet music it would be more enjoyable.

[Sandi Beech]

Right Judy, I have read about your situation and I am sure you spend a fair amount of time living the dream in your head. Sometimes that is all we can do. I am pretty lucky that at least I get occasional chances to go out. I just have to fill the gaps with daydreams.

Sandi

[Nyla F]

Hi Sandi, I'm glad I'm not the only one!
20 years ago started wearing panties 24/7 and that helped calm those thoughts.
Now it helps to wear a bra part of the day, otherwise I'm thinking about when I can do that next. Fortunately I can find moments for this.
The day my wife retires I'll be in trouble.

[CDMargret]

I think about it as much as I think about what's for dinner. I plan what I am wearing or will or want to like I plan what to make or want to have for dinners. Hmm...guess I am hungry and like to dress for dinner...lol

[brynnewilliams]

I've had a dressing related thought at least once a day for as far back as I can remember. With that being said, I may dress everyday after work for a week then not dress for two months. I have no explanation for the lack of pattern.

[Heather76]

I am cross dressed 24/7 to one degree or another. Every night I go to bed in panties, thigh highs, bra, forms, a bracelet or two, and nightie. Most every night I am dressed by mid-evening minus makeup and wig. After my wife goes to bed, on go the wig and lipstick for several hours. I have found I don't have the same obsession about going out en femme as I used to as I know I will have opportunities. I had one about 2 weeks ago and will have one again tonight (Friday night) as well as several more later this month.

[Kaycie]

Sandi I sure do, and am trying to learn to navigate my thoughts and prioritize things in my life. So far I have tried acceptance therapy, gender awareness and gender expression group and OCD testing. I am trying to find an acceptable sweet spot to live a comfortable productive life with.

[Stephanie47]

I do not know if coming to this site and another (Femulate) qualifies as an obsession. Does going to a news site every morning qualify as an obsession? I check out my hobby interests frequently. I think my DADT contributes to a "compulsion" because I am not able to freely express myself with my wife. I've mentioned before on this site that her non-acceptance also translates to her "not reining me in" in the sense of saying "enough already" when it comes to buying clothes. Buying clothes has becomes an outlet to express myself, an obsession. Why the heck do I have over forty nylon nighties? Yes, my wife and I sleep apart for comport; snoring and back nerve pain. So, I do sleep in a nightie or bra/panty/slip ensemble every night. But forty plus nighties? Egads. And, the number of slips and panties? Hundred! I can well afford these excessive purchases (spending our kids inheritances). Thinking about "it" is a lot cheaper than "buying it."

[Kaycie]

I now purge what I don't wear regularly but still have more lingerie than most. I truly love the beautiful feminine looks of it. What's a big issue is the trying new things and not returning them. I have an overflow shelf for my "obsolete" lingerie. Mentally I think it helps me not to shop for more.

[Jade P]

Definitely, I started crossdressing when I was about 10 by trying on my mothers pantyhose. So almost 50 years later I underdress daily in panties and pantyhose. I also wear nightgowns to bed. I read this website daily. My wife reminds me by telling me I am gay or saying that I am not a man. So my feminine side is alway on my mind. I feel I am a 50-50 mix of male and female in my mind and spirit. I accept and love myself as a genderfluid person.

[Melindatv61]

Most days and nights it's on my mind. If I'm busy with other stuff it's the first thing that comes to mind when I take a break.