This GG wants the best for her CD bf

[spunkeewmn]

Hello!

I'd love to get the perspective of any m to f cd's about something near and dear to my heart. Here goes (and thanks!)

:)

Many years ago, I dated a man (briefly) who was a friend from high school. Although things didn't work out between us, I thought about him often for the next 14 years. (No, I can't explain it other than to say he was something 'special.')

I made an effort to see him again a couple of years ago, and was curious when he kept hinting that he had something he wanted to tell me (It was obvious he was questioning me about my openness for a reason, but I had no clue about what he was getting at.) He opened up and admitted that he liked to wear women's clothes for a multitude of reasons. Although I was in the dark about cding, I found it easy to support him, and when he started talking frankly about his situation, I invited him to use my closet and house (he had lots of roommates) because it bothered me to know that he'd been keeping all of his personal belongings in a container. I didn't want him to feel ashamed of something that bothered no one.

Since he came out to me, I've done all I can to help and support him in this part of his lifestyle. (The nice thing is that he's only one size bigger than I am in clothing, so it's easy for he and I to go out shopping where I can model clothing he's interested in.) While I admit that much of the appeal with his cd is sexual in nature (for both of us), somehow I think I'M benefiting more from Jennifer than he is. I've never felt closer to any other person ever, now that I know. I'm unbelievably honored that he chose to share something like this with me.

So, my question is this. Is there more I can do to show my support, pride, and love for him than just giving him my acceptance? I feel so much admiration for my bf, but I keep wondering if there's more I could be doing as his friend and lover.

Any thoughts? Thanks for your input.

[Toyah]

I really think you are doing everything you can to support your bf.
Try buying identicle outfits for you both, small gifts of jewlrey etc are always apreciated but it sounds like he is very lucky

[Julie Avery]

I think you're a troll :eek:

[Mia001]

Hi,

Acceptance is plenty and usually more than we expect so it sounds like the situation is working out well for you both. Don't feel guilty if you're getting something out of it too. That's not a bad thing.

It sounds as though you're both pretty honest with one another so I'm sure he'd have said something if it wasn't working out for him too.

Don't over analyse the situation. Just enjoy yourselves.

Mark.

[size7satin]

Welcome to the forum!

Sound like your doing what most of the gurls here wish someone would do for them. Be as open & honest with him...... He has intrusted you with a side many won't even let out of the closet. I bet he will do anything to make you as happy as it sound you have for him. Explore your happyness together.

best wishes

S7S


I think you're a troll :eek:

Nice way to welcome someone to the forum

[nikisbest]

I was going to say the same thing, how come when someone shows support for someone else, they get hammered with ( think your a troll ) or something STUPID like that.
Sorry, but lord, have you ever heard of giving someone a chance.

Back to the question, just showing your acceptance is wonderful.
Talk to him, since it is a turn on for both of you, see what his fantasies are, and see if you want to maybe do one of those. (Depending on what they are)
Roleplaying, going out in public, whatever, it can be fun if you think about it.
My 0.02Let us know what you come up with
Niki

[Julie Avery]

I was going to say the same thing, how come when someone shows support for someone else, they get hammered with ( think your a troll ) or something STUPID like that.


Might be because there are real differences between the genders we're born with, as opposed to those we play at, and they can be sensed even in this thin air.

You think?

[JMO2]

Might be because there are real differences between the genders we're born with, as opposed to those we play at, and they can be sensed even in this thin air.

You think?

I don't participate much in this forum just kinda look around and read. I am no one to judge this person but I do sense something amiss.......:eek:

[Janelle Young]

Hello Spunkeewmn

Welcome to the forum.

While Julie A does make a good point, I will give the benefit of the doubt for the time being.

What more could you do? I can think of a few things.

You could ask Jennifer to go shopping with you.
Help Jennifer with putting on her make up.
Give Jennifer tips on walking and mannerisms.
Help Jennifer to feel comfortable in public.
Ask Jennifer to join this group.
Go out with Jennifer to dinner, and you pay.
Take Jennifer dancing.
Cook dinner for Jennifer at home.
Ask Jennifer to come on over and spend the night.

The list is endless.

[ReginaK]

Sounds too good to be true. But if it is true, it sounds like you're doing just about everything a CDer could hope and wish for. Both of you are very lucky. :thumbsup:

[Teresa Amina]

Spunkee- you are already wonderful! Just keep going, sounds like you're someone we'd all want to have with us:)

[Julie York]

Interesting.


You're feeling nervous because you feel insecure. Why do you think there is anything more to do than you are doing already? Technically, what you say you are doing is about as good as you could do. So why do you feel there is something more required?

[DonnaT]

So, my question is this. Is there more I can do to show my support, pride, and love for him than just giving him my acceptance? I feel so much admiration for my bf, but I keep wondering if there's more I could be doing as his friend and lover.

Any thoughts? Thanks for your input.

Depends on what else he may want. Have you asked him?

Some are satisfied with a situation like yours, well, more than satisfied actually. Some want to have a night or weekend out enfemme.

There are a number of events around that groups of transgendered individuals and their SO's go to. So, you might see if he'd like to venture out and about, if not near home, away to such an event.

[cindybarnes]

Spunkee,
For most of us, your post is too good to be true, and you know the saying,,,, if it sounds too good then it usualy isn't .
But if your sincere then you have done more than enough to give any CD a good feeilng and peace at heart. Enjoy the friendship and relationship as long as you can !
Cindy

[Khriss]

Spunkee,
For most of us, your post is too good to be true, and you know the saying,,,, if it sounds too good then it usualy isn't .
But if your sincere then you have done more than enough to give any CD a good feeilng and peace at heart. Enjoy the friendship and relationsip as long as you can !
Cindy
...DITTO !... and Welcome...(Yourthoughtson"cloning"? :D ) xx"K"

[Sweet Susan]

I think what you are doing is awesome, and I don't think you are a troll. I believe you are sincere and fabulous. All of us should be so lucky. Good luck, and just keep doing what you are doing. I highly recommend that you continue to go shopping with Jennifer, and buy her presents.

[Patty]

Welcome - you are dream for any cd here.
Maybe talk some more and go out dressed together
Lets us know what happpens

[jo_ann]

one comment.. even as accepting as my wife is, a lot of times i find it hard to be honest and tell her how i Feel, or what i want, or don't know how to say it so the conversation ends. so i find that sometimes if I Type an email, or IM with her, I can be more open about stuff. It's possible he might not ask you about a lot of things because he's too embarrased to ask.

[Ann lee]

I think what she is doing is awsome, I confined in my neighbor and know were like best friends she has helped me out with outfits, make up, and suport, plus she's a cosmotologist, and she jsut loves playin with my hair and fixing it up. so hun carry on and do what your heart tells you to do.

Anna Lee

[Lawren]

Just continue to love both him and Jennifer and take an active part in their both lives. (Yes, I believe that there are two distinct lives in every CD, but please do not misinterpret that. I do not believe that CDs have split personalities). You are doing a wonderful thing just by loving, accepting, and participating in his CDing. I think that pretty much sums up what we are all, as CDs, are searching for in an SO.

[AmandaM]

Dress him up and spank him? :)

[JoannaDees]

Just act normal around him, dressed or not. Accept it when you find him either way. Make no over the top remarks, maybe a you look nice. Basically treat it as a nothing, just like you would any other person dressed in the "appropriate gender style". This validates it as appropriate. At least, that's my preference and 0.02 .

[Tamara Croft]

Hiya

And welcome to the forum :hugs: I think what you are doing now is fantastic. Just take each day as it comes and work with that. She already knows you are accepting, I don't think there is anything else you can do or say.

And for the record for those who have doubts here, please, enough already. Kathy GG, she looked to date a CD, Marla GG, loves her fem girly and has from the start. There are many GG's who are automatically accepting. So, get off your soap boxes, this lady has come to us for support and advice. Let's give her that thank you!!

[Ellaine]

Hi Spunkeewmn, Welcome.
As a couple your situation sounds so ideal and enviable here (,hence the scepticism in some responses). Being the first to spot a troll, sadly, is a big turn on for some.

I'd love to see you bring your bf to the site and let us all share in on your happiness. There is much pleasure, advice and friendships to be given and gained. I especially enjoy photos of happy couples or groups out and about having fun, so please post some pix soon.

Are there any more at home like you? For a small fee I may know someone, or two. lol



Ellaine

[Dana]

When the sum total of one's life experiences says that something is too good to be true, then one tends to think and what is all the more belive that it is.

That and given the recent "Brina" thread, you can understand the hesitation. Do a search ~ it was a duzzy!

Aside from that ~ "A hearty welcome!" And, indeed you are most welcomed.

As to your original question ~ well its been answered here in this thread. The vast majority belive in our hearts or hearts, our soul of souls ~ that finding a GG such as yourself would be about a easy as walking down the street and finding a 10K diamond?

Even with an accepting, supporting GG, there's still the self acceptance on the part of the individual. There's also the guilt, the shame. All heavy issues. And, just to spice things up a bit, remores ~ remorse that somehow we're letting you down as a GG, and not living up to your wants, needs, expectations, desisres, fantasies as a GG. (That's me speaking for myself ~ and not projecting out anyting for anyone else)

[Lacie0604]

First of all welcome.
More power to elbow. Just keep up as you are doing and let things unfold as they happen. No doubt your bf will let slip as time goes by what could further enhance your relationship, but in the meantime just give him the support and help you are doing now.

Hugs and kisses
Lacie:D

[RachelDenise]

Welcome to the forum. Keep your pespective open and try to discuss the issues with your BF. He'll be a little hesitant at first because of the years of hiding his secret. Even in the face of acceptance, he may be waiting for it all to crumble. Reassurance is always good. And don't forget about yourself. Tell him what this does for you. It may help him understand where you are coming from.

[AnnaMaria]

Spunkeewmn,

First, I want to say welcome to the group. I hope that you enjoy the time you spend with us.

Second, you are a dream come true for any cd. When an so is willing to accept their cd so with no hesitation or reservation it is rare to say the least. My wife is accepting of me and has been almost from the start and that has made me being what I am so much easier than it would have otherwise been. I only hope that your so realizes just how lucky she is.

But, as far as doing more for her is concerned I really don't think that there is anything that you can do on your own that you are not already doing. Notice I said on your own. Gifts are great, I know that I really enjoy getting little girly things from time to time from my wife. But, nothing says "I love you" better than what you are already doing. And that is the most important thing.

I would have to agree with the other girls who said talk to her and see what she would like, or enjoy. If you live in or near a city that hosts an event for tg's that would be a great thing for both of you to attend. It gives you both a chance to enteract with the community at large and it also allows her to come out for an extended period of time. I know there are quite a few all over the US and I have heard of some in other countries as well. The website below shows some for this year and gives links to the event website so that you can get more info about times and places. My wife and I went to the Be All in Chicago last year and had a great time and it was our first time out of the house with Anna.

http://www.abgender.com/events.htm

Just keep in mind that only she can tell you what if anything you can do to make things even better than they already are.

good luck

anna

[Anita Mae GG]

I would go slow and try not to push him to fast for things he may not be ready for. Don't forget, he has been keeping this secret for most of his life :happy:

Good luck and welcome to our little family

[ChristineRenee]

I concur with what many others here have already said...you are a CD'ers dream! Just keep on doing what you are doing...and if you really feel the need...then just ask him what more you can do to support him and make him feel more comfortable about his being a CD. I'd say he is very lucky indeed to have you in his life.

[sharifemme]

Spunkee...

If you are on the level, you are more valuable than RUBIES!!! He (she) has more than acceptance from you - he's got your participation, assistance and admiration. I assume you both love each other so what else could you add?!

Sharifemme

[spunkeewmn]

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

I wrote because I realize just how ashamed Jennifer's been all these years keeping the secret to herself. I accepted her easily because I went through something years ago where not one single person understood the pain of what I was going through. I guess I'm hypersensitive to the fact that a lot of people 'claim' to want to help/understand/accept other people when in fact it requires more effort than they want to put in (in effect, it's just lip service). I know what it's like to feel alone, so for me it's natural to want to offer him a safe place with me.

I want very much to give my bf everything he needs in regards to Jennifer so that he doesn't question the part of himself that is such a big part of who he is. I was actually surprised at some of the cynicism (minimal as it was) in regard to my first post. Is it really so hard to believe that there are GG's out there who realize we're not the be all and end all of a man's existence? That who they are isn't a reflection of how we women should view ourselves?

My desire in initially writing in this forum was to get a better understanding of what cding men face, so that when I tell my bf how much I enjoy Jennifer, he sees that I truly mean it. I want to be included in that part of his life, but I also don't want to overstep my boundaries by offering to do too much. Does that make sense?

Thanks again for writing. It's nice to hear from people who have an understanding of what my bf faces/feels.

[Julie Avery]

Not to draw further attention to them, but I would like to apologize for my ill-considered comments.

[CharleneCD]

My best suggestion if you are not already doing it, is to make sure to treat him as you would any other girlfriend when she is dressed. Being treated like one of the girls by GG's is probobly one of the greatest experiences a CD can have.