Trans or not, has the public conversation about gender dysphoria impacted you?

[ShelbyDawn]

Up front, Let's please not make this a political argument. I'm very interested in all of your responses, and if we go all politics, the mods will do their job and shut the thread down.
However you see yourself, for the sake of this discussion, I am proposing we all fall under the umbrella of some level of gender dysphoria, so please chime in.

There is so much hate and misinformation out there, and even violence on both sides of the extreme.
I'm just interested to know if all the attention, good and bad, is making your life more difficult as you deal with your dysphoria?
If so, how and what are you doing to cope.

For me, it has made me hyper aware, and has caused me to refrain from any comment at all on topics regarding the issue outside of very closely controlled environments, like this one.
I'm petrified of the potential fallout if I inadvertently out myself. I don't really do anything different since I live alone and work from home, which means I dress every day, unless I go out, but my interactions with others are restricted because I just don't know how they are going to react and some of my close friends have developed rather extreme opinions both ways.

Thanks.

To the mods: I specifically put this here, because this is the community I live in when I come to this forum and these are the girls I know and care about, therefore, theirs are the opinions I am interested in. Thank you for understanding.

[BrendaPDX]

Shelby, I am fortunate to live in a relatively neutral/accepting area. According to the "Test" I just took I do not have Gender Dysphoria (close but "no"), however I am aware of the growing tension on both sides. I try not to be a judgmental person, probably because I do tend to be somewhat in the middle. I have not changed much if at all with all of the media, I just try to remember the pendulum swings both ways. Probably not much help for you. Thank you for sharing, I will follow this thread. Brenda

[kimdl93]

I suppose I have become more wary, even though I have not witnessed any reason for being so. My concern is not so much that disapproving people might confront, insult or harm . I am more concerned about the mentally unbalanced individual seizing on the hostile rhetoric to justify lashing out.

[GaleWarning]

I am fortunate to live in New Zealand, many of whose inhabitants are Polynesian, with knowledge and acceptance of other genders. Also, as indicated by the response of many women to the recent visit to our shores by an activist who wanted to diss transgendered people, most citizens are in favour of a 'live and let live' policy when it comes to our community. Hate speech is a no-no. So is violence, and the police have charged the person who got over-exuberant in showing her dislike of the activist.
That being said, we do have members of our community with rather 'traditional' views, but my life is not overly affected by this. In fact, some of them are my friends on FB. I simply let them rave on!

[docrobbysherry]

I can't recall discussing gender dysphoria with anyone except on CD.com. And, that would include a large number of CD.comers I've met in person over the years.
Altho, I have met quite a few T's who have suffered terribly from it without calling it that!:doh:

I did suffer from it myself in a vacuum for 10 years. Then, I came here and soon discovered I was not a trans after all, simply a CD. Since then I have the freedom to dress as much as I like at home or out in public. And, no desire to become a female anymore!:battingeyelashes:

[Jolene Robertson]

Hi Shelby.

I live in a small Rural southern town and am active with many functions here including Church. I have never, not spoken my opinion on any subject and never had any kickback for what I believe. With that said I'm not out to the public but there are signs for those who look close enough or think about it.

[SaraLin]

It hasn't affected me directly, since I'm in a relationship where "going out of the house" is a no-no.
Indirectly, it saddens me, since I see people trying to force things back to the days of oppression and intolerance. Been there, lived through it, hated it.

I remain (slightly) hopeful that the world at large eventually wakes up, sees the venom that is being spewed as the collection of lies that it is, and ultimately rejects it.

[GretchenM]

Where I live people tend to be accepting of many of the kinds of diversity, including gender issues. I don't think most people have much knowledge of what gender dysphoria actually is, but they do understand and recognize various forms of gender variance and non-conformity.

However, there are many other communities in Colorado where that kind of behavior is not acceptable; even gay is not acceptable. And in these communities there is a widespread intolerance of any behavior that deviates far from the norm. Rather than violence or threats of violence which are rare it is more of a shunning and behavioral rejection.

I do have problems with one set of relatives who live in a large city south of Denver that has a long history of being generally against anything that deviates far from the traditional norm. Lots of people from more liberal parts of the country have moved there and that has diluted the intolerance but there is still a large population of the less tolerant and it shows its ugly face sometimes. One just needs to be careful and avoid those neighborhoods.

Unfortunately, my sense is that this increase in intolerance rests mostly and unfortunately in the political realm. But I think a lot of that originates from the political activist crowd. At the more interpersonal level people are more polite and willing to at least try to live by the "live and let live" principle. When one sides with the noisy political masses they achieve a bit of sense of ambiguity and are more willing to join the crowd. But when it comes to face to face interactions that ambiguity vanishes and they tend to be more careful about showing discrimination. Their basic thinking doesn't change, but they exhibit a more tolerant behavior. And I think that is where the rubber hits the road.

The result is that the impression is that there is widespread, fully visible hatred when in fact at the personal level people are generally more tolerant, even though far from tolerant. The fact is that surveys have shown that a large majority of people believe that differences are OK, but those high percentages show that the hatred expressed in the political rhetoric that sounds like it is torches and pitchforks is simply not the case at the small scale.

Nevertheless, it is important for us who show a behavior that is far from the traditional and stereotypical norm do need to keep our wits about us. Live your life but be aware that there are folks out there that, if given the opportunity, they will exhibit open hostility if the situation allows for that to occur without getting caught. It is not unique to gender variance, but is just a reaction to anything that is perceived as being contrary to the traditional and stereotypical image of the way they think it should be. We are a small minority; that is a fact. And we need to be aware that right now there is a lot of fear that minorities are fracturing the traditional social norm and structure. And when some who fear shifts in the norm will fight back quite readily when they have the protection and ambiguity of being just one face in a large group. That works both ways. The bottom line is that the driving force may be a fear of change that renders people impotent with regard to having a say in the change.

[Lisa Gerrie]

I hasn't affected me. The public conversation about LGB has flipped in recent years, and I love to see it, but TQIA+ hasn't kept up, especially in my age cohort.

[ShawnaL]

I can't say that public discussion of gender dysphoria has directly and personally impacted my life positively or negatively. My overall frustration stems from the fact that so many otherwise rational and intelligent people in society, base their opinions and beliefs on what GD is all about without taking the time to properly educate themselves from credible and knowledgeable sources (not the least of which should include those of us who live with it). But, then again, this seems to be the modus operandi for our society over EVERYTHING which can have polarizing and opposing points of view - which begs the question: how REALLY evolved are we?

[April Rose]

The public discussion is a good thing, the being made a political football by power brokers, not so much.

I live in a very liberal town in a very liberal state and even here there has been an attempt by a right wing group to ban LGBT books from the school library.

[Genifer Teal]

I live and play around New York City. that should give you an idea i have it pretty easy. with that said I've had more bathroom issues since the bathroom issue became an issue. I really did not have much trouble until we fought for the bathroom rights for everyone.
It's good that everyone gets the same treatment. But I think it's much harder for the public to understand why someone who's still looks quite manly Deserves to use the woman's restaurant. not saying they don't just saying it's a hard pill for average joe to swallow. just by declaring your gender you should be able To Do what you want? The reality. Is there's no bouncer at the bathroom door anyone can walk into any bathroom.
. Now the woke movement is Alienating Budweiser fans. As crime is on the rise in New York City, any target is a target. With All the animosity towards the LGBT community that crime is targeted to us as well. there was a high point Where all? Of the activism helped but now it's kind of tipped the point of going the other way. I think we need to slow the roll and fight the smaller Battle's first.
Just my opinion. hasn't stopped me from going out. has made me more cautious. I don't do the city as much anymore but that's for a variety of reasons not just safety.

[alwayshave]

I am OK where every I go dressed, but I am in a very liberal city.

[Heather76]

I don't believe the public discussion of gender dysphoria has had an impact on me. I doubt I have gender dysphoria to any great degree as I don't think of myself as being trapped in a male body. I have no desire to transition. I know I am, at best, a MIAD. I do absolutely love wearing a bra and feeling the weight of the forms they carry. Like Shelby, I do not want to out myself. Doing so to the general public wouldn't be an issue for me. Outing myself to family and friends is the issue. I believe my family would generally be accepting. I don't believe my wife's family would be. With one exception, I find most of my friends to be good acquaintances as opposed to close friends. With that one exception, most of them would no longer care to be friends.

[christine55]

This can really impact young girls who want to transition. No hormones mean they must become adults with a low voice and facial hair. A tragedy for them.

[Emily in the south]

I also live in a small conservative southern town, in a situation very similar to Jolene's. Thus far, the recent public discussion has not impacted me, but has raised my cautionary awareness.

I primarily travel 2 to 4 hours away when out and about extensively in public, but occasionally make local exceptions. Shopping and Ulta are two examples.
Life is short and I am having too much fun as Emily to limit myself.

[Diane P]

I know that I dpn't have gender dysphoria, I just really like wearing women's clothes. That said I live in small town in Western Oklahoma, so I'm pretty sure that if I were outed I lose the few friends I have here. But no problems with any discussion on GD.

[Stephanie47]

On a personal level the public conversations have not affected me as I am primarily an in-home dresser with a knowing but non-accepting wife. My wife and I have had discussions on some of the issues. My wife has a second cousin-once removed who is a transman who recently gave birth to a child. So, there is some skin in the game when it comes to the issue. We also have friends and acquaintances who are gay or lesbian. I am not one to keep quiet and not confront ignorance. I would encourage those on this site to confront these issues.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I have always stayed in the closet in all my years of crossdressing. At first, for the obvious reasons, as most of the "Muggles" were obviously ignorant about what CD was all about, and a fear I would be taken for "being Gay", which were a 'hated" segment of society at the time. Many, Many people still lump CD, HS and TS into the same baskets along with the negative mythology associated with them. At least today, SOME people are being "educated" into the differences between these 3 very different conditions, but not ALL. Indeed, although smaller in numbers, it seems to have made the ignorant even MORE hateful than they were before, now feeling "threatened that "this 'gay stuff' is getting out of hand"--- "Protect the Children!" , etc. SO as for ME, I STILL stay in the closet and have my FUN inside my home.

[Jean 103]

I'm out, I work I guy mode and live in girl mode, it's really that simple. My guy mode is pretty girly as I wear skinny jeans, I only wear women's clothing.

I would say I'm pretty much unaffected by it all. But then I am different. I live in a small town and I'm popular. Things happen I don't worry about them.


The whole thing is absolutely ridiculous for the simple reason as we do not have the numbers. There's really not enough trans people to make a hill of beans the percentage is very small overall.

I just got back with a friend of mine(a gay man) from a 4-day trip to Palm springs. A place were being gay is the norm. Even there I was in the minority and most of the time the only trans woman, something I'm used to. Oh we had too much fun and are planning on going back soon. Neither one of us had been there before.

I have found in my little world that I have changed people's minds as far as we are concerned, by simply being out there and living my life openly.

Love Jean

[ShawnaL]

I love your outlook on life, Jean!

[MissSixties]

i get about without issue in vanilla venues ...the biggest problem i see from afar is under 18's being pumped full of 'blockers and hormones' , this is the true tragedy you can't do squat until 18 yet you can decide you want to be a boy/girl at 5? and people think this is ok...let kids be kids and if they get to 18 let them be free.....most don't give a fig but do not indoctrinate the young, ramming home stuff down peoples throats does not endear them to our cause....

[Rhonda Jean]

I'll answer this with a bit of a twist. Yes I'm more wary than ever, but that's only part of the story.

Not too long ago the public reactions to me would have been either none at all, or "that boy/man is trying to look like a girl/woman", or "that boy/man looks like a girl/woman". In most cases I was the first trans person they had ever seen. Now EVERYBODY has heard enough that they have pre-conceived beliefs/opinions/predjudices/thoughts. They've figured out what they think about "us", and, like it or not, I'm lumped into "us". As I read the same headlines they do, I do not fit the headlines. I've applauded the progress. I'm less and less convinced that we (meaning those like me, whatever that is) have moved the needle at all. I think half the country (maybe the world) has seen progress on trans issues, but for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. I fear the reaction, and I feel that I'm not really part of the action, and not sure I want to be. The loud, demanding, in-your-face stuff is not me. I can already hear someone say that there'll never be any progress for anyone if we all go through life as I have. I think that's debatable, but I've never done this to be a crusader or a representative of anyone but myself. I do hope that I leave a positive impression.

I get tired of all the trans talk all the time. I know the "antis" get tired of it. I don't feel that any of it really represents me, but the vibe I get when I'm out is "There's one of THOSE!". I might have a different view of it if I was transitioning. Since I'm not, I'm just not sure the current trans movement does anything positive for me.

[char GG]

Mod note:

We are NOT going to get into a conversation about blockers and hormones in kids. Please stick to the topic or this thread will be closed.

Trans or not, has the public conversation about gender dysphoria impacted you?

Emphasize "YOU"

[MissSixties]

TBH yes it has, these "words" are getting thrown around everywhere in the media and personally i'm hearing more and more people who would not speak of such things all get anti (not knowing who i am deep inside), this does not help MY cause trying to come out....FWIW

[mbmeen12]

Absolutely it's disconcerting, for example, their is an event coming up. I've gone in years past and but with the public reteric etc I am reconsidering. It has nothing to do with being in the closeted or not. It's very sad and it actually increases my dysphoria.

[Debs]

I have not had any trouble travelling around in the UK, everything seems just fine.

[Cheryllynn]

While I don't go out dressed, the way things are has made me put any such ambitions back in the box. I'd never come close to passing anyways, and the risk is high with my male-dominated-lots-of-bigots-workplace. Too many years in and too close to retirement. Overall I'm pretty disgusted with the current state of things and how trans people are the current "punching bag". Hopefully this too shall pass soon.

[Aunt Kelly]

Yes, it has. By wording of some of these misguided regulations, I am a "drag queen", and may be subject to arrest if I appear in public. And I can't believe that were right back here, but in several states, I could be arrested for using the correct restroom. This. Is. Madness.

[jacques]

hello Shelby.
Here in the UK there seems to be a lot of discussion about trans people and "women only spaces".
It has become political because in Scotland it has become easier to obtain a Gender Recognition Certificate this year and some think this is in conflict with the UK Equalities Act.
Several feminists I know and respect seem to be saying things that may be considered transphobic.
Although I crossdress in private this does not have any direct impact on me, I do feel very sad that this situation has evolved so badly.
stay healthy and safe!
luv J

[RachelR]

Shelby,

This does not impact me directly since I live in a very accepting part of New England. I have recently started dressing again after a long time away. I cannot say for sure that I suffer from dysphoria or at what level but that is a conversation for another forum post.

When I think about all the trans issues in the news recently it has had an impact on me. It makes me feel frustrated and anxious with the whole situation and wanting to find a better way to help the trans community. As for coping I have talked to coworkers about trans issues (when they bring them up) to try and provide an alternate view if they see or hear something controversial. I do not try to forcefully persuade people's opinions but instead provide any missing information from a trans ally perspective.

[CrossKimmy]

For a while it felt like the public sentiments on trans and crossdressing was changing for the better but I feel like things are spiraling out of the good direction.

[Fiona_44]

I live in a very liberal part of the country so try not to worry about it too much. So far I have never had a bad encounter or reaction.

[kimmy p]

Not trying to be political. My honest answer is.. I am pizzed. My gay and trans friends have been unfairly villainized. People in my area are being threatened with physical violence for hosting a drag show. Cruelty against those who are different is once again in fashion.

[Jade P]

At many family gatherings on one side of my family the subject of transgender comes up and they will be so judgmental and mean. If they only knew I was wearing panties and pantyhose under my pants and that I accept and love being under the transgender umbrella. I will sometimes say something to defend the trans community but alot of the time I stay silent when I want to scream. I love my family but they are so wrong. Let people live the way they want to live and dress the way they want to dress and love who they want to love.

[Debs]

So your all just going to step back after all the progress thats been made in the last 8 to 10 years, yes I go out a lot and have seen a massive diffence in accetance in a good way, and now we have a few woke people offering there dislike, lets all hide again !!!, not me, I will stand up to these keyboard warrior bullies, if they want to confront me, bring it on. I aint going backwards after all the progress that has been made. The number 1 thing you all forget DRESSING UP AS A GIRL ISNT A CRIME, go to a stag do loads of guys dressed as girls, do they get arrested, no. The difference is when you are serious about it, 9 times ot of ten your alone. but your still not breaking any laws. Your not going to get arrested, believe me. ok Rant over, see you out there in the real world and not on social media.

[Aunt Kelly]

So your all just going to step back after all the progress thats been made in the last 8 to 10 years...
No. Not all.

[Rhonda Jean]

So your all just going to step back after all the progress thats been made in the last 8 to 10 years

Honestly, and I know this is the wrong answer, probably so. I guess I'll have to see what comes up and decide at the time, but that's the honest answer.

Years ago when Target announced their restroom gender policy I was at Target, not fully dressed but polished nails, women's shorts, women's top, and I see a dad, mom, and daughter about 8 or 10. I kind of got a once-over look and a smirk from the dad. Later I walk near the restrooms and I see that dad apparently standing guard at the restroom while the mom and daughter were in there. I got the same "try me" kind of smirk. I did not need to use the restroom anyway and I probably wouldn't have gone to the ladies room if I had needed to (although dressed as I was that's another problem). Target corporate policy... progress. Dad standing guard... reaction. Some of you would have strolled right in there. Not me. Not in a million years. I'm not a fighter, not a crusader, and damn sure not a martyr. That's kind of the vibe I get now, just no personal experience to back it up.

[Bea_]

Since I'm a closeted man in a dress type, I'm not affected as much as those who go out dressed. But, my inclination to dress came just as Katlyn Jenner emerged to the national limelight. So, on a personal level, my wife's perceptions of crossdressing is synonymous with transgender and there's a constant knowledge of her disapproval bordering on disgust at times.

So, it's at a personal level that the publicity and the debate is affecting me.

[AnnieMac]

I Recently got an email from a film festival i was involved in for a while that described this powerful new acronym:
LGBTQIA2S+ Geesh!! I had to go look every letter up. How many more can we add before it's the entire alphabet?
When I saw this alphabet soup of trans-diversity, I about fell over. All I could think of is that's a lot of bathroom doors
at the Airport to choose from! How will I know which is for me?

As for Myself, I'm not trans, I'm just a simple guy that loves dressing, looking and feeling like a woman sometimes. It is so amazingly freeing
it's as simple as that. Dressing somehow gives me power over the clothes and styles that at one point I only admired in women I respected, but could never be myself.
Those clothes had Real Power over me really somehow. But when I am dressed that power over me all goes away.
I have taken some of that power back for myself and enjoy dressing in the fashions and styles I feel good in, at least in the closet ( I have gone out in public, but rarely).

And it definitely is NOT drag, That is a whole different thing. I recently learned the term "drag" came form early stage scripts in vaudeville and silent films
where the male character listed in the script was to be "drag" (or simply "dressed as a girl"). My personal opinion is I fine drag kind of insulting to women, where
crossdressing is more in awe of women. I once asked a close female friend, if she was insulted by Drag, since its such a caracature of women. It's almost like how early minstrel shows
presented people of color, drag is doing the same thing to women - caracaturing them. Sure, Drag Queens are trying to entertain and in no way try to "pass", where crossdressers are ALWAYS
trying to be subtle enough to pass. That's a big difference.

Lastly, I apologize for prattling on so, but something touched a nerve I guess. (I'm still trying to figure out what the "+" is in that sequence of gender identity)

Love to you All! - Annie