Heels and other ironies

[MonicaPVD]

The more time I spend observing women in a variety of environments, the greater the gap widens between what many of us (cds) view as appropriate attire and what contemporary cis women actually wear. One perfect example is footwear. Next time you are out and about, make a mental note of how many women you see wearing heels. You may be surprised to discover that most women today DO NOT wear heels unless they are going to a formal reception or a party. It's amazing how ubiquitous informal footwear has become among women, regardless of context. Professionals, blue collar, on the street, in an office, anywhere. Most women wear flats, sandals, sneakers, boots. Anything but heels.

[Crissy 107]

I agree and do not think this is new, unfortunately it has been happening for years

[Aka_Donna]

It's just a clothing fad. Usually instead of heels, dress up is low height wedges. I fell into their situation. My last pair of shoes was a pair of boat shoes, for walking on beach as heels, etc would not work. It does make the what should I wear today question open with more possibilities.

[JulieC]

Could be a regional thing. I know it's confirmation bias, but I see women in heels a fair bit where I live and work.

I was traveling by air recently, and had a bunch of hours to kill at an airport. I started doing a big walking loop at the airport, and to keep my mind occupied I was counting the number of women I saw in skirts, dresses, and/or heels. Dresses were the least common, heels the most. There was only one woman wearing pumps (my personal preference) though.

[Di]

MOD HAT ON WITH A REMINDER

Per the rules-

NO Ridiculing or complaints on members/non-members wear or the manner in which they express themselves. This includes any complaint about the way females, males, transgendered, or any other cross-section of the membership dress.

Just a warning many times threads like these go down hill.

Now my answer as a member
Depends on the job and or region.
Both my daughters wear heels at work but slip into something cute and comfortable when they can.

Styles, fads change but some people get stuck in a certain style ??I am guilty of that with Gypsy skirts.
I am not in the work force anymore so rarely wear heels anymore and I now have some durn cute shoes and boots .
I wear what I like as everyone should.

[Leslie Mary S]

I used to wear heals for evening dinners, but have gone to flats and open toed pumps, (something that lets my cute nail polish show, something I wear all the time) During daytime events, I am migrating to tennis shoes from flats, and 1" pumps. I am thinking of going from dress/ skirt & blouses, to caprices, shorts, and/or leggings. I am also reducing the amount of color I am wearing on my finger nails and face.
Part of my reason to change my shoe types is that I have a balance problem, and it is getting worse.

[docrobbysherry]

Women can and will wear whatever they like! And, so will I!:tongueout

I want to see an attractive, sexy woman in my mirror. So, I usually wear 4"+ spike heels!:daydreaming:

Otherwise, I won't bother to dress at all. But, I'm just a CD. So, when I see a sloppy, old man, wearing comfortable drabs, in my mirror? It's not the end of the world!:heehee:

[Debs]

Sorry flats do nothing for my feeling of being a girl, its got to be heels with the clicks, even kitten heels do it for me, flats to me do not make you walk like a woman.

[EmilyShy]

I love heels, not sure if I walk correctly in them but they are one of the main items that I associate with the look. Legs alway look better in heels as it defines the structure etc. If I dress at home it's heels all the way I have a few pairs 5" and 4". 4's I can manage quite well but the 5's are a new ball game lol. But saying that being in the closet and only ventured out a couple of times I would not wear them out (Yet) I'm in the camp of looking to blend and be obscure until I build up confidence. I have flat ankle boots that look good with a skirt or dress and currently looking at some pink trainers. If I was to go out in a group that were wearing heels then I would so want to wear them for sure. Safety in numbers I guess.

Unfortunately these days even if a cis wears heels as normal attire attract the looks (I know I always look esp as soon as you hear the sound) and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that type of exposure

[DAVIDA]

This thread is getting off topic.
Please keep responses in line with the OP.

[BLUE ORCHID]

I hardly ever see a women wearing Heels in Walmart,

[Helen_Highwater]

Monica,

I have to agree with your observation and while trainers seem to be the choice of many especially the young, as with most things the exception proves the rule.

During the daytime say grocery shopping, women in a low block or kitten heel will still be found but higher heels will usually be the preserve of an office worker out to buy a sandwich.

There again, many office workers will commute in flats and switch to more formal heels once at work.

This topic does of course bring us back to that old reoccurring topic of blending. We need to be aware of those around us if as so many of us seek to when out, hide in plain sight. Full on glam to buy a bag of frozen peas will help get you noticed.

Your observation while correct doesn't of course mean heels are dead. Look at any online fashion website and there's heels a plenty, same for shoe shops. It's a horses for courses, time of day and place thing. Women quite naturally want to be comfortable when out doing the daily tasks and who are we to criticise. I for one am happy to emulate.

[kimdl93]

Looking back in the women in my own life, and that is looking back over many decades, heels were mostly reserved for dressier occasions and in more formal office settings.

[alwayshave]

I work in an office with ten female secretaries. I have only ever seen one of them wear heels and she is a former model. Even then she only wears them on a rare occasion.

[CDMargret]

Well in my neck of the woods I can catch two sometimes three women in true high heels. Like they are stopping on their way home from work at the grocery store. When I hear them it's like I get all excited to try and look without looking...lol. For the most part flats and boots.

I prefer to wear heels when I venture out. A three inch classic pump is my go to. Don't want to be to tall as I am 5'9. I find them ever so easy to walk in. One foot in front of the other. Or as best I can.

[Maria 60]

I remember when I was younger and would go to work with my father doing deliveries. I couldn't wait until we had to go into the offices to get his bill signed. All the women were dressed in dresses and heels and always remember catching a glimps of slip. That is the difference why women don't wear heels because the dress code has changed to more comfortable wear. I barely see women wearing skirts unless maybe a law firm. My wife will wear her heels and will bring a pair of flats that she will change into after dinner. It's so sad and thanks Monaca to bring it to light.

[ShawnaL]

I love heels, but they're a killer to wear all day long. Sometimes the event makes it worth the discomfort, though!

[Maid_Marion]

Yes, the office went too casual and they instituted a dress code.

Then they hired a girl who decided to be fully out and move to a brand new city to start over.
She wears heels, makeup, dresses, and jewelry every day!
When she came aboard I started seeing more women wearing dresses to work. Which I could see from fifty feet.
Before it was just for special meetings.

Marion

[sometimes_miss]

Sorry flats do nothing for my feeling of being a girl, its got to be heels with the clicks, even kitten heels do it for me, flats to me do not make you walk like a woman.

Lucky CIS women don't need shoes that deform their feet, to feel or walk 'like a woman'; while WE need every bit that we can get!

[Cheryl T]

That is especially true in our area as it is quite rural. It's rare that I see a woman in heels unless it's in an office setting and even then it's rare.
Most have opted for comfort over style and it's understandable, particularly following all the Covid lockdowns.

[char GG]

Kimdl93 nailed it.

Women typically reserve heels for a dressy occasion. Not for most work environments, not for the mall, not for the grocery store, or especially not the airport!

Wear whatever you like. Blend if you like. But I seriously doubt if women will go back to wearing heels just because someone else thinks they should.

[ShelbyDawn]

Just like so many other things, It varies with the outfit and the situation.

I used to chuckle at women that would come in the door wearing sneakers, stop and put their heels on to get to their office and then switch back to the sneakers for running around the office unless it was to a meting with higher management or customers.

Now that I own more heels that I will ever wear, I totally understand.

[Stephanie47]

Shelby's experiences or observations are in-line with my observations when I was still working in the downtown business district. Many women, who still wore dresses at work, would carry their heels in a tote and change out of athletic wear. The business district was at the bottom of a rather steep hill. Negotiating that hill climb was brutal. It makes total sense to not wear classic heels unless the occasion warrants dressing to the nines. Also, walking around on outside concrete sidewalks and walkways is brutal on heels. Also, many heels are not supportive of maintaining good feet. I also believe societal expectations have been changed by women who do not want to get bad back issues.

[NancySue]

Totally agree. I believe one could add hose and skirts and dresses to the list of MIA?s. In our rural area, most of what?s seen are jeans, yoga tights a tee shirt, flats, sandals?no makeup.

[Sandi Beech]

I have seen some really cool footwear on women in the clubs I have been to with way higher heels or platforms than I could ever attempt to wear. Where you will not see them is the grocery store, etc. There has to be a reason to put them on and to me shopping is not one of them. That is where utility or comfort is more important.
I have discussed shoes a number of times with GGs in the clubs. Just because they may not be wearing them at the time, does not mean they do not like other shoes. When I told several that I like Jessica Simpson shoes, one said she loves, loves, loves them, even though she was wearing sneakers at the time. I am sure my feet hurt more than hers after we were finished dancing that night ; )

Sandi

[JulieC]

You know, doing searches around for market trends, what I find is that the heels market took a massive nosedive during the pandemic (no big surprise) and has been rebounding since, with strong growth expected through at least 2027.

[BrendaPDX]

I agree, I am in the Great Pacific Northwest (Portland, Oregon), dresses, skirts, and heels are a becoming extinct. The favored clothing now for work and home are yoga pants (leggings), with running or training shoes, and sports tops. If I want to blend that is what I pretty much have to wear. But for "Brenda time" and not around too many people I do like skirts, medium heels, and 3/4 sleeve tops. Do I like it? "No", but that's just the way it is here.

[Karren H]

And your point is? They probably are not wearing corsets, girdles, stockings and shelf bras either! But that does not preclude me from wearing them!

[mbmeen12]

Sticking to the original post, ask any woman and the practical of wearing some shoe that is known to do long term health issues to the feet.

[JenniferR771]

Think about it. Women wear heels to look good. Same reason they apply makeup and fuss with their hair. They want to be attractive. They know when men look at them. They get respect, maybe even admiration from other women.
Older women--not so much--comfort rules.

[ColleenA]

When I hear (high heels) it's like I get all excited to try and look without looking...lol.

Don't want to be to tall as I am 5'9.

About your first point, Margret: At my job, I wear a suit, tie, and dress shoes. A few years ago, I had a pair of dress shoes that, if I walked just right, clicked exactly like high heels. I took a certain distorted pleasure knowing that I was setting up people's expectations, then disappointing them when I finally came into view.

I too am 5'9" tall already. As an older woman (late 50s), I am perfectly comfortable wearing sneakers or flats, as do most of my cis sisters, so I blend in better and don't tower over them. Heels are reserved for special occasions, such as when I went out New Year's Eve.

[docrobbysherry]

---------------------------
I prefer to wear heels when I venture out. A three inch classic pump is my go to. Don't want to be to tall as I am 5'9. I find them ever so easy to walk in. One foot in front of the other. Or as best I can.
I'm 5' 9", Margret. And, I've been out countless times in hi heels among men, woman, and trans. The only time I've felt tall in 4"+ spikes is the one time at a trans men meeting in Atlanta!:battingeyelashes:

[Ladyluck]

I have noticed that most women do not wear heels. I know a woman that does but she is not at this time. She has a back brace on for some reason so i assume thats why no heels. I love the sound of heels on a hard surface floor.Also notice most women dont dress up hardly at all pass few yrs

[DianeT]

And your point is? They probably are not wearing corsets, girdles, stockings and shelf bras either! But that does not preclude me from wearing them!
I think Monica stated the point: a growing disconnect between some (not all) CDers' view of typical female clothes and what female actually wear. I can't myself imagine a CD session without a bit of heels, but if I went out in my region of the world I would find myself mostly surrounded by women in sneakers, whether in casual or more formal attire. It's just that the sneakers are not every sneakers, there are relaxed versions of them, and more formal ones, typically golden-heeled Adidas.
For evenings out, heels had gradually disappeared since the eighties and are slowly coming back with the younger generation, which can be viewed as a freedom for women to wear heels if they want, now that the social expectation of it is gone, or as an unfortunate come back of such social expectation (for women to look like fragile things).

[Sandi Beech]

I suspect part of the disconnect is due to where most CD's are likely to venture, so the sampling is limited. Since I go to clubs, I see some interesting variety. You will not see shoes like this at the grocery store.

335559


Sandi

[Crissy 107]

Oh Sandi, I think I saw a GG in Walmart wearing those same boots. Ok JK

[Geena75]

Working in home improvement retail, I am in a position to observe things like footwear. Mostly, I see athletic style shoes, followed by boots and flats. Now tomorrow is Sunday, and I often see more heels then.

The moral of the story? If dressing to blend is your goal, think comfort, match the footwear to your clothes, and note the day of the week.

[ReineD]

I agree, we see fewer heels on GGs when out and about than some decades ago ... unless of course the few times a GG might want to dress to impress.

But the same can be said for men who wear dress shoes (https://images.opumo.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/opumo-5-18.jpg).

The trend to dress down has been happening since before I was born. Compare late 19th century outfits to the 1920s (no corsets, comfortable loose dresses, no bustles), then compare that to mid 20th century (women wearing pants), then compare that to the cultural revolution of the 1960s (tie-die, jeans). There was a bit of a dressy resurgence in the 1980s as women entered the work-force en masse (dress suits, shoulder pads, silk blouses, heels), but then men and women at work slowly stopped dressing up. "Casual Fridays" turned into casual all-week. I can't remember the last time I saw a man in a three piece suit. Most people don't wear fancy dress in urban areas any more, even when they go to events that called for it, like the opera.

[Emily in the south]

I have to disagree Reine.
You obviously have not been to Churchill Downs on Derby Day.. lol

Emily

[CrossKimmy]

I?ve seen many young women wearing heels on any given night out. Though it?s funny because they seem to obviously be struggling with them. Meanwhile I?m thinking to myself ?I can walk better than they can in those shoes?

[ReineD]

I have to disagree Reine.
You obviously have not been to Churchill Downs on Derby Day

OK, and how many times per year is there a Derby Day? :D What do the GGs wear the other 364 days? :)

[Erin Lafleur]

My first pair of heels were 4 inch fuchsia pink sequined stilettos. They looked sooo sexy on the rack and off I went.
After getting all dolled up and donning said heels as the piece de resistance, I soon found out that my calves were screaming in agony within seconds and that rather than a simple, swaying strut that I imagined, I looked more like a newly born Giraffe. Not pretty...
I have since come to my senses and purchased 2.5 inch heels which at first burned my calves but I was determined to master. Didn't take long really. Now I wear them almost exclusively at home and feel no calf burn at all. I no longer weedle around the house, I walk with confidence and can emulate that feminine strut and sway of the hips...
I have a real pretty pair of 4" stilettos that I am hoping to graduate to very soon!

[DianeT]

I have to disagree Reine.
You obviously have not been to Churchill Downs on Derby Day.. lol

Emily
There is a remote possibility that the women participating to these events are trying to emulate crossdressers.

[ColleenA]

Erin, I like your comment about looking like a newborn giraffe when first trying to walk in heels. I used to work at an entertainment venue that included a nightclub. I would see lots of gals in their early 20s - some of them walked confidently and stably in their high heels, others looked like they were wearing heels for the first time in their life.

[Leslie Mary S]

And some of us Senior biddies should give up on heels, we wobble around enough already with our canes. Grin

[Gi Gondin]

I guess context and taste explains a lot the use of heels or any other apparel. I guess high heels are still very trendy and their heights still breaking records every season. Very happy that the amount of designer and popular models of shoes available in large sizes keeps growing daily!!!

[abby054]

I work as a professor with many students who are seniors at a university. They seem to appreciate my attending their graduation ceremonies. At my university, it has become traditional for the graduates to enter the stadium through a cordon of their professors. One of my GG colleagues told me at graduation last week that it is fun to watch the shoes of the graduates. She may have noticed me watching, as I have done for many years. The graduates march at a perfect distance from us professors for observing this.

Shoes, often heels on the graduates who present as female, is one of only two nonpolitical ways to express individuality in a sea of identical black robes and hats. Even many of the guys seem to express themselves by their shoes. It is quite entertaining to watch as the shoes vary in color and style and to observe how they correlate to hair and makeup and academic major. Many graduates totter along, revealing their unfamiliarity with wearing what, at least for three hours this day, adorns their feet. Fortunately, in my forty years as a professor, none have tripped though many have wobbled while crossing the stage to shake hands with the university president and the Dean.

[Leslie Mary S]

As a photographer I too, get to see many shoes. Most obvious is the period of the going up stairs/ramps. I too, have NEVER seen a graduate fall.

[AmyH]

In my opinion, wearing heels is one of the most girly things we can wear; yes I know about dresses and skirts. My point being, when I wear heels, I feel more like a girl, than I do when I wear flats. Plus they make my feet look smaller; I wear a size 11 in women's shoes, so when I wear flats, my feet look enormous.

[Leslie Mary S]

We size 13 girls have the problem of having "big feet". Some of use have even bigger feet. Just finding shoes is a task, but it slowly is getting easier as the average size of woman's shoes are getting bigger.
From www.Zappos
Women in the 21st Century use larger sizes than any other generation before, due to their larger foot sizes. As of the 1960s, the average shoe size for women was 6.5. In the following decades, the 80s and 90s, it was measured at 7.5+. As the new millennium closed in, the average shoe size was found to be between 8.5 to 9, with a slight increase in shoe widths too.