Ways to be more feminine without all the work....

[mattea]

Hello friends! Its been a long time since I posted and been on the site, and I have missed everyone. I have been on HRT for a while now, and still posing as male at work. I am looking for some thoughts and suggestions. I am bald, have to wear wigs when I am out and as passing as I will probably ever be. It takes a bit of work, which is OK for going out, but just in everyday life, I am jealous of the ladies with hair that can just throw something on and walk out the door. I have tried hats with pony tails, at night and other times I have head covers that I wear around the family since there is no way I am ever going to grow hair. I have been doing laser face hair removal and am as far as I can be on that, come to find out that I have some grey hairs on my face that go away with the laser, so electrolysis is in my future, and HRT has started to show some changes especially with breast growth and some facial features. Are there any tips anyone has, any thoughts tips or tricks to presenting female without all the effort. I am sort of like my mom in that we rarely saw her in an "unpresentable way" and enjoy looking my best at all times, but it would be nice to be able to answer the door without a confused look from a delivery person, or be able to make a quick run to the store. I am a big girl, have a few extra pounds, and am tall, so its hard not to stand out, but any ideas that you have come across would be helpful. Much love and looking forward to more interaction now that I am back!

Mattea

[Maid_Marion]

The proper wardrobe will help. Avoid wearing anything a guy would wear.
I know a big girl at work who only wears dresses and heels. Makeup and some jewelry as well.

I wear a lot of pink clothes. Some oranges. I have a bright emerald jacket. When the weather gets hot I'll wear crop tops and tight fitting shorts.

I wear nail polish in decidedly feminine colors. Sometimes I'll wear lipstick, as it doesn't take long to apply.

Marion

[GretchenM]

Marion's suggestion of using color is one way, but it depends on your local culture as to what is considered men's and what is women's colors and clothes. I wear bright colors a lot which here is customary for women and not so much for men. One thing to avoid is using be best dressed women as a model. Instead look for women who do not do that and dress with a bit more of a masculine flair. Do what they do and perhaps in combination with what you have in the way of other indicators you would be presentable as female without trying to be passable in the classic sense.

I am also bald (almost 78 years old) but I don't worry about that much. I am OK with the somewhat female-like male appearance, but others are not. It is easy to do and most people do not look at me with the "what is that look" expression. Some that are very traditional frown a bit though. I smile at them and move on. But most of all, be yourself and treat others with kindness no matter how they seem to react.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

All I can say is earrings won't help, since everyone on Bajor wears them.

[Heather76]

You obviously can't do this at work when presenting as male: but, why would you not always be wearing a wig when not at work. I should think wearing a wig and your femme wardrobe at home and out is all that's really needed. Cis women, I've noticed, run the entire spectrum of all dolled up to looking like they just got of bed including the fact they come to believe wearing pajamas in public is a statement of high fashion. At home, and making a quick run to the store, is perfect for jeans, sneakers, a top, and a wig. Depending upon your complexion, some basic light makeup might be in order; but, not necessarily eye shadow and lipstick. I think the bottom line is to do what you are comfortable with.

[christine55]

A bit of lace on your tops might help. Also just a bit of noticeable lip color

[NonbiNancy]

Hi Mattea, I'm also bald and I like wearing head scarves. They come in so many fabrics, colors and styles. It's a very easy non-binary look. "Is that a man with a woman's head scarf or perhaps a woman with a medical issue?" Keep 'em guessing, I say!

[Angela Marie]

I went for a makeover at Sephora a few months ago. I wore very little foundation. Nothing else since they prefer you to come as natural as possible. The woman doing my makeover said she thought I was a woman when I first walked in. Was she just being nice? Who knows. I do know I parked my car and walked a few blocks to the store with no issues. I do have some femme features, high cheekbones, smaller mouth, etc. and I have a small build, 5ft 6 140-145. All that may help. I have found that many times less is more when it comes to makeup.

[IamWren]

Hi Mattea…
What you’ve written in your post is very, very similar to my experience. Next month I will have been on hormone therapy for three years and like you a lot of the hairs on my head jumped ship a long time and they’re not coming back.

For me… i can put a full face of makeup on with contouring and highlighting to really carve my face but if I don’t have a wig on… nope. People are gonna read me as a dude with makeup on.

Maybe it’s genetics, my age when I started, my dosing… I don’t know but I still easily pass as a guy at work. It still requires quite a bit to “scrub” the boy off so to say. So I’m not sure there is much that can be done that doesn’t require a fair amount of effort to get to blending in for those quick trips to run errands.

[Maid_Marion]

My girl clothes are significantly smaller than what I used to wear.
You may want to wear tight fitting clothes as that is what woman typically wear.