Danger Going Out

[christine55]

Do you feel more danger going out with all the Bud Light controversy lately?

[TheHiddenMe]

No. The people who got outraged about the whole Bud Light nonsense weren't ever going to be fans of trans people anyway.

Look, on the whole, it's never been a better time to go out in public dressed. More people are tolerant than ever. That's why certain individuals in certain offices are making such a big fuss over it; they realize they are losing in the cultural wars.

I have been out tons (more than 500) of times and have never had an issue.

[mbmeen12]

It's my opinion, everyone needs to do risk assessment, period. The advertisement of certain companies decisions are just made, good, bad or indifferent ie power of the purse. I'm keeping simple because a post like this can easily go off the rails. Be safe please.....

[CharlotteCD]

It wouldn't change my feelings about going out. People aren't hating on trans people - they're hating on a man playing the role of a 6 year old girl, and claiming it to be "womanhood". It's offensive.

The people on this forum generally have an approach of going out to blend, or at least not to try and be an attention seeker.

[docrobbysherry]

Me and my friends gave up Coors 50 years ago. So, why would we care about Coors Lite? Who drinks that tasteless sop anyway? Hi schoolers? :doh:

[Kris Burton]

To be sure, the Bud Lite controversy is in the back of my mind when going out. I think one should always be mindful of safety and their surroundings when going out anyway. For me, the Bud Lite controversy just underscores it.

[Helen_Highwater]

Trans is undoubtedly one of the battlefields in the culture wars currently being waged. Has it made things more dangerous for our community, probably not.

These things only play to those of a certain disposition, those who already have an entrenched viewpoint. I doubt that it sways others towards behaviours likely to impact our community.

Our being out and about, behaving in a polite, "normal" way is perhaps the best antidote, demonstrating we're not as the right wing press would portray us as.

[char GG]

Mod note:

Please be mindful of the "no politics" rules for this section. This topic has been brought up in the Media section where trans rights are discussed.

[kimdl93]

Not really concerned at all. The people who get upset about beer commercials and the footwear chosen for animated candy spokespersons are already angry at life in general. They and the people who manipulate them are just looking for reasons to express it.

I do avoid places where such people congregate, but then I always have.

[alwayshave]

I have gone out since the "Bud Light" controversy started with no issues. Really, I think it is all a tempest in a tea pot.

[Emily in the south]

No. It has raised my awareness level slightly, but that is probably a good thing.

My recent six day trip, I encountered no issues. Including the hotel stay. A large hotel with a mix of our group of ladies and many traveling families. The hotel staff loved us, and we gave the bar & restaurant much business.
I try to represent our community in the best positive light.

Emily

[michelleddg]

Spent 3 days last week on a Michelle vacation. Makeovers, nail salons, hours in the mall, museums, wine bars, fancy restaurants, dive restaurants, hotel check in dolled up. Not a hint of an issue, just nonstop fun.

Hugs, Michelle

[Sandi Beech]

I am not concerned with that issue. Sometimes I think about the poor guy in Florida who was sucked into a sink hole and died as he slept in his home. You just never know when your time is up. May as well live it up while you can. No regrets.

Sandi

[Rhonda Jean]

My getting back into it after a couple of years hiatus fairly coincided with a lot of trans/anti-trans publicity. The Bud Lite thing hasn't changed any of that. I've been out to one extent or another almost every weekend for the past couple of months and, although I am getting used to it again, I'm not nearly as comfortable as I used to be. Probably never will be. The bathroom thing is particularly bothersome to me now. It's actually pretty rare that I have to use the ladies room. I'm can almost always get to a "family" restroom or some kind of unmarked single user restroom. But, when I do have to it takes an extra dose of courage now.

[NancySue]

Not really. I think the commercials did bring more attention to trans people, comedian fodder, etc. but I fear police, accidents, road rage, flat tires more.

[Stephanie47]

First, I doubt those men blowing up cases of Bud Light probably ever drank Bud Light. It's just a way for them to show their hatred for transgender men and women. I was raised in New York City; went to high school is a less desirable neighborhood; went to college in a neighborhood where the residents experienced a crime rate of 25%; worked for five years in a different crime ridden neighborhood. A person learns to make an assessment of where and when to go. I read a lot of negative comments (actually hateful and disgusting) on-line, but I have not read of any up-tick in overt crimes. Don't get paralyzed with fear. Use common sense.

[Natalie5004]

I only dread getting recognized while out.

[Jamie001]

First, I doubt those men blowing up cases of Bud Light probably ever drank Bud Light. It's just a way for them to show their hatred for transgender men and women. I was raised in New York City; went to high school is a less desirable neighborhood; went to college in a neighborhood where the residents experienced a crime rate of 25%; worked for five years in a different crime ridden neighborhood. A person learns to make an assessment of where and when to go. I read a lot of negative comments (actually hateful and disgusting) on-line, but I have not read of any up-tick in overt crimes. Don't get paralyzed with fear. Use common sense.

The reason that theses men are doing this is because they fear that they might be attractive to one of us. Masculinity is extremely fragile, and person or anything that threatens masculinity must be destroyed. That is the thoughts process of the knuckle-dragging Neanderthal macho dude.

[CharlotteCD]

The reason that theses men are doing this is because they fear that they might be attractive to one of us. Masculinity is extremely fragile, and person or anything that threatens masculinity must be destroyed. That is the thoughts process of the knuckle-dragging Neanderthal macho dude.

That's a frankly ridiculous and offensive comment.

[Fiona_44]

Not really. I live in a fairly liberal part of the country and I am out & about all the time and have not noticed any change at all.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

The people who are blowing up and/or boycotting Bud Light don't hate trans people. They hate the idiot man who's pretending to be a little girl, who coincidentally is offensive to real women, crossdressers, and real trans people everywhere, and they hate the multi-billion dollar corporation who's obviously forgotten who buys their nasty-tasting beer (fratty?? Really?). I'd be boycotting Bud Light too, except that it tastes like urine so I haven't had one in decades.

Charlotte, you're spot-on!

Doc, you realize it's Bud Light and not Coors Light we're talking about here, right? :)

[JulieC]

Bud light; disgusting piss water I'd pour down a toilet if handed one.

Bud light controversy; a popcorn moment to be sure, of a company having a distinct and total lack of understanding of its constituent demographic.



Affect on me; none. There's always going to be haters, and as others have noted you always have to be careful. That's true whether en femme or not. I have only rarely gone out, but when I have it's always in places where it is highly unlikely anything would happen, even if I encountered a hater.

[Heather76]

While I don't go out dressed on a regular basis, I have been out a couple of times since the Bud Lite controversy began. Honestly, I NEVER gave it a thought. When I'm out, I'm in retail stores, gas stations, fast food places, and checking in to motels (Holiday Inns, Fairfield Inns). I don't go to bars or other entertainment venues. I believe places I go are as safe as anywhere I could go. During daylight hours I always wear sunglasses for 2 reasons. First, they conceal the fact my makeup skills still need improvement. Second, I can watch facial expressions on people to see if they are reacting poorly to my presentation.

[Cheryl T]

Not at all.
I never drank Bud Light. I prefer Coors.

[Britney Summers]

I didn't take this bud light thing seriously at first either. They can't even give it away for free. The backlash is over the worst people that represent the trans community, but I think it wouldn't matter even if there was good representation. They just want us gone. Don't under estimate the anti-trans movement. Risk assessment and situational awareness are encouraged. Smh Its sad that some things can't be mentioned.

[MonicaPVD]

The bud light controversy, much like the constant conversation around gender theory and other aspects demonized by conservative pundits has brought gender issues to the forefront. As someone who spends considerable amounts of time in public spaces surrounded by moderate and conservative older Americans, here's what I have found. Conservatives are more than happy to give you the space to be you. Want to be a woman, they'll treat you like a woman. Want to be non-conforming? They might roll their eyes but, hey, you be you. Where they tend to draw the line is when you get preachy and defensive about the topic. I don't know how many times I have been out and have somehow ended up on this topic during casual conversations. They aren't out to get us freaks, they just "don't see the need to have this stuff shoved down our throats."

[Rhonda Jean]

I think that's a pretty good assessment, Monica. It's the exceptions we have to worry about.

There is SO MUCH publicity and talk about it now that I get sick of it myself. What seems to have happened because of the publicity is that literally every single person had a pre-conceived notion, an opinion based on whatever publicity they've heard, and they likely model their ideas based on something or somebody other than you or me. I HATE being lumped in with these people! The Bud Lite girl could not be more different from me, but more people know her than know me, so when they see me they naturally tend to think about her (or some other public/known figure).

Before all the publicity (going back 50 years) I had a chance. They might have had some initial reaction, but it was based on ME. The way I looked, what I wore, how I spoke to them and to others, the way I carried myself... the usual first impression criteria. Now, somebody else already made the first impression and it probably was not a good one.

Going back to when I was a kid, I was/am aware that I need to try a little extra hard. A lot of people are probably looking for a reason to not like me, and I don't think I ever gave anybody that reason. I don't mean to sound like it was hard work to simply be a nice person. That is my nature regardless of mode. I was just more aware. I like to think that the trail I left made it easier for the next one. If they told a friend, "I met a (fill in the blank) today and she was the nicest person! That'd be a serious win for me. Even if they said "he was", that'd still be a win. If we all did that (and I know a lot of us do), the general public would have a much better impression of us. We've got a lot steeper hill to climb to overcome the publicity.

[MonicaPVD]

Rhonda, trust me. You still have a chance. A million chances. People are much more open or, at tolerant, than ever. Just be yourself and everything else falls into place. I know from experience.

[Kitty Sue]

I don?t think there is a simple yes or no for this question at the moment. I think some areas are probably safer than others.

[char GG]

Everyone has to do a risk assessment when they go out. CDers should be able to make a judgement call as to where they think they will feel safe, just as GG's have to do. There are just some places that only a select few feel safe (think members-only biker bar). Know your destination, your route, a safety detour, and the establishment(s) that you intend to visit. Make sure you are in a parking spot that is well lit at night and close to the door, if possible. Keep your wits about you and enjoy the outings.

The people who have seen or feel emboldened by the Bud Light commercial (I have not seen it), haven't changed their minds one way or another over a stunt. They have always been there and will continue to be in the public someplace.

[Suzie Petersen]

What Char said! It is basically as simple as that.

A few additional thoughts for going out at night:
- Stay sober, or at least limit it to one or two drinks for an entire evening. Watch your glass like a hawk and do not let others buy you a drink.
- Go with one or more friends if at all possible. Drive together, or take an Uber or taxi together to the door.
- If you are at all uncomfortable when leaving, ask someone at the venue to escort you to your car or to wait with you for the Uber or taxi to arrive.
- If someone says something to you as you are coming or going, do not respond and do not make eye contact. Use your peripheral vision to keep track of what is going on around you, walk with purpose to your car, keys in hand. As soon as you are inside the car, lock the doors. Or if you get concerned, turn around and walk back to where other non-threatening people are, for instance back into the venue or close to the bouncer or door personnel. Ask for help so they know you are concerned.

I have been out many times including in foreign countries and have never had a problem. Admittedly there have been times when I was a little concerned, but it turned out to be for no reason.
This was years ago, so I do not have any feel for what the current climate might be, but from what I read here and other places, I would not be overly nervous about my safety.

- Suzie

[MonicaPVD]

Qll excellent points by Char. There's a reason why you hardly ever see a cis woman out alone at night. Risk assessments! ❤️

[Aunt Kelly]

Just got back from 4 days in Las Vegas. Aside from one redneck asshole "roper" calling my friend "sir", there were no issues. None. The snowflakes voicing their "outrage" over Bud Light are few, but noisy.

[Stephanie47]

The reason that theses men are doing this is because they fear that they might be attractive to one of us. Masculinity is extremely fragile, and person or anything that threatens masculinity must be destroyed. That is the thoughts process of the knuckle-dragging Neanderthal macho dude.

I think there is a difference between an in-person encounter and the immature nature of many males. In-person encounters to an openly gay man or a transwomen may fall into the category of "guilt by association." "Do people think I am one of THEM?" if I engage with them. There are trolls who like to make immature comments on-line or switch their beer order at a tavern. Immaturity.

If you have not seen the commercial, I have, it is probably on Youtube.

[Jane G]

I have gone out since the "Bud Light" controversy started with no issues. Really, I think it is all a tempest in a tea pot.

Storm in a T cup. Think I may still have that on vinyl some where. Or was it storm in a D cup.:heehee:

[Andrea Renea]

This has not changed my going out.

I've been going out for years with no issues other than some long glances.

I go to gas stations, grocery stores, clothing store and a few restaurant.

Be careful where alcohol is served in volume. Who knows what a drunk will say or do.

[kayegirl]

Ive been on holiday and away from tv, internet and all other forms of advertising for the past couple of weeks, so have not seen the Bud Light adverts. But even had I been at home, the day that I pay any attention to the adverts, will be tge day they carry me out in a box. I sometimes wonder why some cimpanies even need to advertise, and who are the mis guided people who actually think the adverts up.

[nancy58]

I am not worried about the Bud Light controversy. I *am* worried by the ongoing effort to paint trans people and crossdressers as threats to society, and the efforts to prevent parents from doing what they believe is the best thing for their kids. My local trans support group has begun locking the door after meetings begin.

[VickieBonne]

I've never been swayed to drink bud light or any beer for that matter based on an advertisement. I find it hard to believe that more women aren't outraged that they picked this parody of a woman to.represent. I'm offended by the VP's comments before and after as well as other executive's comments. Nothing to do with Dylan and everything to do with the treatment of a longtime Bud drinker. I needed to cut back on my beer drinking anyway.

[Emily in the south]

I agree with Nancy. However, I do worry about the impact of unfortunate incidents such as one that I read about recently in a UK coffee shop. A customer misgendered a trans worker, I don't believe intentionally, and things rapidly escalated in a bad way. The worker refused to give the woman customer her drink that she had paid for, threatened to call the police to have her removed. Of course, another customer started recording the altercation on a cell phone and the worker assaulted him, trying to grab the phone. I believe it was a Starbucks store.

Emily

[Debs]

I go out regular, and I can assure you this little incident isnt going to stop me doing what I love to do.

[Emily in the south]

I agree with you 100% Debs. I also go out on a fairly regular basis & have never had a bad experience.

Just sad reading stories like the one above. Does nothing but reflect poorly on our community.
I try to go out of my way to be nice and helpful to people I encounter. Like Sandi, I have struck up conversations with quite a few gg women in various places, and they have welcomed my company.
Would hate to see that change.

Emily

[CharlotteCD]

I agree with Nancy. However, I do worry about the impact of unfortunate incidents such as one that I read about recently in a UK coffee shop. A customer misgendered a trans worker, I don't believe intentionally, and things rapidly escalated in a bad way. The worker refused to give the woman customer her drink that she had paid for, threatened to call the police to have her removed. Of course, another customer started recording the altercation on a cell phone and the worker assaulted him, trying to grab the phone. I believe it was a Starbucks store.

Emily

The trans worker appeared to be totally in the wrong, and they had a pathetic reaction - particularly assaulting the person who filmed it