Feeling more comfortable

[Maria 60]

We were in a store yesterday and at one point my wife pointed out me that a few years back I use to follow her like a little puppy in between those clothes racks in fem stores and now I'm drifting off on my own and speaking loud and open about if something would look good on me. She told me not to get her wrong it is beautiful seeing the little bird fly out of the nest but a while back she dared me to buy pantyhose on my own at Walmart and I couldn't do it. I guess all those younger years of my father telling me that men don't go in the ladies department really brain washed me.
I guess at times we start to feel more comfortable with curtain situations and we don't really notice ourselves getting more confident. Just thought I would share and does anyone else here notice themselves subconsciously more comfortable with a situation that they never did a few years ago.

[alwayshave]

Maria, You are exactly right. We do get more comfortable over time. Especially, if we have accepting wives.

[kimdl93]

It is nice to be relieved of unnecessary burdens and worries. One of those is that baked-in fear of being seen in a womens department.

This makes me wonder why that was taboo in the first place. I suppose it began with that Victorian notion that men were not supposed to see womens unmentionables, but I wonder if it also was rooted in the long-standing knowledge that some men might also be interested in wearing what they saw in the womens department.

[Gillian Gigs]

Who doesn't remember that terror of the deer in the headlights look the first time a SA came and asked if you needed assistance. I stumbled over my words and my discomfort of obvious. How things change, now I buy whatever and think nothing of it.
Two examples remain clearly in my mind of people reactions.
The first when I was looking for a particular pair of hold up stockings and a woman who was obviously not all there, started to speak in a loud voice, "there is a man looking for pantyhose". I hastily retreated and came back 10 minutes later when she was gone. I was not going to be denied what I wanted!
The second was when my wife and I were looking at corsets together. The SA asked if she could help, I responded that I wanted to buy a corset. She asked my wife what her size was, and I responded, " what makes you think that it's not for me". I got this coy smile and the best service I have ever had ever!
Once I learned to act like I belonged in the women's section, confidence grew.

[Debs]

I buy my wifes clothes for her as well as dresses skirts tops etc for myself, she is disabled and cant always get out, I dont see what the problem is buying clothes for someone else ?, its not against the law, and its non of there business on the till or in the queue who you are buying the clothes for ?, nobody ever taps me on the shoulder and asks me "who are you buying clothes for", its non of there business !!!!

[Cheryl T]

We shop together like that all the time. We're always discussing what we find for ourselves and for each other.
I used to have that "whisper voice" when doing this but that was years ago.

As for your pantyhose reference. I think I bought my first pair like 50 years ago. Wow, did I say that? Did they make them that long ago? LOL.

Note on history. L'Eggs pantyhose were introduced in 1969. So yeah, they made them that long ago.

[Heather76]

I would estimate that 90% of my time clothes shopping is done in the women's department vs. 10% in the men's department. While Heather loves shopping, my male self isn't all that thrilled with it.

[bridget thronton]

Sounds like you have come a long with your wife's help Maria

[Bea_]

I just recently left my wife in the makeup section and ventured into the women's clothing section alone. On that particular trip, I found two pairs of jeans and a blouse that I decided to try on before buying. I went to the fitting room, checked in, tried them on and ended up buying all three items. That's nothing for many here, but for me it was a big step. Since then, I've wimped out a couple of times and avoided shopping the women's department after looking forward to it, so it's definitely not a case of constant improvement in confidence. Two steps forward, one step back and try again...

As far a pantyhose is concerned, from the seventies to the nineties, my wife worked in an office and wore pantyhose daily, which meant that she went through a lot of pantyhose. Even back then, i did the bulk of the grocery shopping so I'd throw two or three pairs into the cart on virtually every trip. It never phased me in the least. Wearing them myself never really crossed my mind back then Now that I occasionally wear them, it's a little more stressful than back in the day.

I'm slightly more bold as time goes on and even a little bit more assertive in expressing myself at home. I'm attempting some "exposure therapy" by going to therapy sessions dressed in obvious feminine attire, but not AS a woman. I am a man with strong feminine traits and aesthetics. I'm coming to cherish those feminine parts without wanting to get rid of the masculine. I'm finding it to be a major challenge mostly because the developments will affect my family as they come about. I am much less concerned about the opinions of those on the outside and very concerned by the reactions of those close to me. It's such a fine line...

[Stephanie47]

I've probably regressed when it comes to perusing the women's aisles of a store. In the by-gone days of pretty lacy slip, bra and panty sets you'd find me buying confidently. I also delved into nighties. Many times when I was intentionally passing through a women's section, if a pretty dress caught my eye I'd stop and look. If the dress was in my size I'd buy it. Over time the lingerie sections became rather thin when it came to what would draw my attention; lack of slips and nighties. When ebay hit and on-line shopping I found it was a lot easier to peruse and hit the "Buy It Now" icon. As others have stated I found it real easy to throw a pair of thigh highs in the shopping card at Wal-Mart.

[Jane G]

My wife and I enjoy cloths shopping together. I often chose my wife's cloths for her and every once in a while she will treat me to something. But I lost the confidence to buy my own fem clothes in my early 30's. Since retirement that confidence is slowly returning though. I bought a whole new make up set a few weeks back. Sometimes I think I need to realise that it is not 1980 any more and people really don't care these days. But it is not easy to shake off the out of date morals, taught both of us, during our upbringing.

[nancy58]

That's great! I went shopping for femme clothing in Goodwill a couple of weekends ago, while dressed in drab, and even went so far as to try the items on in the dressing room. Just a few months back, I was nervous shopping there en femme!

[Janine cd]

Nancy, I've been there and done that too! It's a wonderful feeling to know that you can do it anytime you want.

[Ladyluck]

Most of my clothes came from Goodwill. One time i was looking at womens jeans after work. A male who works there at Goodwill said i was looking at wwomens jeans. I said thanks and i know lol

[jacques]

hello Maria,
I love shopping and don't really have any problem doing it by myself.
But when I am with my wife I realise my role is to advise her; I don't think we have ever shopped together to buy women's clothes for me. Occasionally, though, we end up shopping separately and queuing to buy things separately in the same shop.
stay healthy!
luv J