Pesky little voices

[Helen_Highwater]

So according to Excel, it's 207 days since I last went out in public. I'm not counting yesterday's trip to see a friend as I didn't engage with the public.

Woke after a good night's sleep and although I'd planned this day my enthusiasm had drained away. "Shall I bother" said that little voice on my shoulder. "Is it worth the trouble". It was like those gremlins that whisper about the mobs and pitchforks had found a new way to get me to stay in.

Well as you would expect I soon shook those off, face was applied, outfit chosen, bits and bobs put into the handbag, femme clothes hidden under drab to exit the house and off I went on my grand day out grommet. Stopped in a quiet back lane nearby to shed the drab and put on my wig and shoes during which I was surprised as a bike rider silently appear and rode on by. Would love to know what he thought!

90 minute drive to Oxford where I swapped car for park and ride bus into the city. As it was lunch time found a pub and had a light lunch and a soft drink. Then out to spend a bit of time shopping managing to pick up a ochre yellow loose fitting shift style dress suited for the warmer weather we're experiencing at present. Decided that I'd spent enough time shopping, feet staring to ache, and the lure of a cool box with cold drinks in it in the boot of the car plus said car has air con which made it double enticing I caught the bus back.

And having got some go juice for the car I started for home and then the voices came back. "No need to cover up when you get home". "No one will be around". "Just go for it". Tempted though I was I forged a plan. Helen always has a plan which was to drive past my road and look to see if I could see signs of life and if not quick about turn and home. Darn or words to that effect, I could see one of the neighbours so parked somewhere quiet close by and did a quick cover up.

Drove into my road, one neighbour gone however my next door neighbour now had their garage door open and were moving stuff about so the right decision was made.

So yep, I don't think we're ever totally free of those voices. It's just a matter of choosing which ones to listen to.

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u so much for reminding me of how much things have changed for Sherry and I over the years, Helen! I used to go thru everything u mentioned:)

Now, I don't ever go out to vanilla venues dressed or alone. Instead of stressing about folk's reaction to the homely old man in a dress at the mall, Denny's, or misc. store? I go to those in drab and am never, ever, noticed!:thumbsup:

Where I DO go dressed now r to bars and clubs. Where I know I will not only be accepted? Like Sandi, I'll often be celebrated and admired!:hugs:

Of course, I still must remove my wig, wear a ball cap and shades to hide my makeup, and a men's jacket to cover my dress when I drive out in daylite. But, coming home well after midnite means never worrying about a neighbor seeing Sherry driving my car!:heehee:

[alwayshave]

Helen, doesn't matter where I am going or what I will do, I always have a plan. It's part of the keeping the secret from others.

[Connie D50]

Great post and you wrote it so well. Thats why I wish I had someone like Amy in Geena story ( The Trouble With Amy) that could chance me in a blink of an eye into Connie. :)

[jacques]

hello Helen,
Oh if only those voices were not necessary and we could dress just how we wish without fear of prejudice!
luv J

[EmilyShy]

I wish I could freely dress but not at that stage yet. Unfortunately for me I have not only my voice niggleing me but my wife's as well lol. I'll wait for darker evenings then try again

[Helen_Highwater]

So today is my last day before going to pick up the SO tomorrow. Up, dressed, a light breakfast and time spent Wordling (in 4) and Nurdling (in 3) on the tablet. Thing is today is the refuse collection day. Put the bins out last night, I was in drab initially but I don't put the sack into the general waste until late on so I catch the last few bits. As it was dark by then that was done enfemme. A quick dash along the drive and back into the house.

So back to this morning. The bins now need recovering from the pavement where the bin men have left them. Never put them back on the driveway. Those little voices are telling me it'll be fine to just nip out, grab both and just wheel them back onto the driveway while dressed. Ours in a quiet cul-de-sac, 20 houses, no through traffic. More likely to see an Amazon van than one of the neighbours coming or going but the sensible bit of me knows it's not worth the risk, sod's law and all that. So much as I'd like those few moments of freedom to do the normal daily things of life I have to consider any possible impact upon the SO of me pushing things too hard.

I had hoped to get a bit more outandaboutery done today but it looks like my normal trip to the sports hall will require my attendance to make up the numbers. No me then no-one plays. Duty calls as they say.

I've a long drive tomorrow and the car will need feeding so once I've done my duty to sport, got home and showered, my plan is to nip out enfemme for a drive, find a petrol station and top up the tank ready for the morning. One last hurrah before normal service is resumed.