Sometimes I have to bite my tongue

[Maria 60]

Sometimes women have no sence of money they will just spend and spend. I wrote about the dress shopping we did on Friday for a wedding we have to attend. She bought a beautiful dress, a custom made body shaper and bra. Yesterday we went out and bought her shoes and matching accessories for the dress. This morning I heard the door bell and there was a delivery, I didn't want to open the package to invade her privacy but I went to our Amazon account and seen what she ordered and it just seemed like a nonsense purchase considering what she spent the last few days. I was about to call her out on it when she woke up on this purchase and then I looked down at myself. White silk nighty with biege thigh highs, gold ankle bracelet with matching toe ring and loop earrings and a red silk robe.
I thought to myself maybe I should bite my tongue on this one but I also don't want to give a get out of jail free for everything or maybe her taking advantage of the situation.
I believe I will mention something about being careful because of the heavy purchases lately plus the wedding is out of town and we need hotels and a rental car. Maybe in not so many words to be careful but maybe just plant a seed. What do you think, maybe that will be a better approach?
I know there are a lot of people here who would cut off there right foot to get any kind of acceptance from there wife, I guess this is when we are never happy and always wanting more in life and look into things further.
I just have to ask do you find yourself stepping on things instead of calling your wife out for the sake of your dressing or do you like myself and vent here instead of venting on her. Lol

[Crissy 107]

To tell you the truth Maria, with your level of acceptance from your wonderful wife you should absolutely never call her out on anything

[audreyinalbany]

I have to agree with Crissy...

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Good Save.

You were about to stick "both" feet into your mouth.

Keeping an eye out on the finances and saying something at the "appropriate" time would not be out of place. You obviously realized that wasn't the appropriate anything.

[Stephanie47]

My wife is a shopaholic when it comes to buying fabric. She is headed out the door today in the company of her sisters to go to a store that carries fabric. She needs more fabric like she needs another hole in her head. I do kid her about the north end of the house sinking into the ground due to the excessive weight in the fabric room. But, I do not make comments about the expense which we can handle without a bat of the eye. Me? I just got the USPS tracking number for six pairs of Vanity Fair panties I bought on-line from Kohl's, six new colors.

PS: She arrived home with fabric that cost over $100. My panty order was less than half of that with a Kohl's discount code.

[Davina2833]

I agree with Crissy and Audrey....

Most of us don't have that kind of acceptance (if any at all)

Count your blessings.

[char GG]

Considering that you may have clothes that you are never seen in public wearing, I agree that it is best to bite your tongue.

It's not often that women feel that they can dress up as it usually depends on the venue. Sounds like the wedding is the best excuse to dress to the nines.

Obviously, she thinks the family finances can afford her new expenses.

[bridget thronton]

I have learned never to question my wife's purchases and she returns the favor (I will let her know when our available cash runs low and we both slow down until the next pay date)

[docrobbysherry]

Money is the #1 issue between ALL couples!:sad:

Each couple must compromise in ways that work for both of them if they r to stay together!:hugs:

If u and your SO have learned to handle that subject successfully, Maria? Congrats!:thumbsup:

My ex and I never could!:thumbsdn:

[alwayshave]

Maria, Im with Crissy on this one, discretion is the better part of valor.

[kimdl93]

As others have said, sometimes it is better to keep certain thoughts to yourself. Its also likely that each of us makes spending decisions that seem reasonable to us, but may be met with skepticism by a significant other. We are likely to forgive and forget our own excesses.

[Erin Lafleur]

And yet she accepts that her husband requires both a man's and woman's wardrobe? And says nothing?
I'd quit while you're ahead really...

[Nyla F]

Calling her out on specific purchases doesn't address the core issue which is reaching a common understanding of how the two of you should budget your money. Best to have a discussion on what your financial goals are and how to meet them. The result might be that you and her each get a certain amount of money to spend as you wish without guilt. You might agree to cut back in other areas in order to have nice clothes.

[sometimes_miss]

I know there are a lot of people here who would cut off there right foot to get any kind of acceptance

Take the left arm, too! I'll gladly wear a peg leg and a hook! I've already got the parrot! Arrrrrrrrr!

[Natalie5004]

My wife and I have separate checking accounts. She does what she wants, me too. I pay for my fun stuff, she pays for hers. It works for us.

[Diane P]

Maria I have to agree with Jamie and Crissy. You have what most of us would consdier a perfect marriage with your wife being so accepting of your cross-dressing. What ever you do don't rock the boat because you could end up with some really nasty unitended consequences.

[jazmine]

.......I agree with Crissy too.
My wife is very accepting as well. We have separate bank accounts. We both take care of household expenses & investments. When we buy something, we don't have to ask or tell the other person because we know the house and our finances are taken care of. Of course there are times when we ask the other for a little bit of help for unseen expenses. Things work out well for us. I do understand this is not a model for everyone though.

[JulieC]

I vote with Crissy :)

[Sandi Beech]

I was just thinking about your other post and how you were saying it was so much fun shopping with the women. So you actually got something out of it. It would be really easy if you said anything, for your wife to say ok I will cut back and you have to stop spending money on unnecessary womens things. That might put you in an unhappy place.

I have pondered the same thing when my wife spends a lot, and I just think about all I have spent and that keeps my lips sealed. No need to rock the boat unless the spending were to get way out of control.

Sandi

[audreyinalbany]

how about think of it this way...if you had the chance to go a fancy event and wear a sexy, dressy new outfit I'll bet the price wouldn't bother you too much

[TAG]

I think in this case biting your tongue would be best.

[Connie D50]

Maria I agree with everyone else count your blessings not the dollars :)

[Jillcder]

Zip it it shut girlfriend. Many of us would pay the price to have your wifes acceptance.

[Karren H]

I do not think that ability to spend and spend is limited to women!

[Heather76]

Keep quiet about what she spends and what she spends it on unless it will jeopardize your household finances. In that case, critique your own spending first. If you're frugal in your spending habits, then you might question hers. As others have said, enjoy the fact your wife is so accepting. All I ever ask my wife after she's been shopping is to show me what she purchased. I want the opportunity to tell her how much I like what she purchased (whether I do or not).

[Richelle423]

Women Will buy a pair of socks and spend a lot of $$$$$$$$ building a wardrobe around it

[Heather76]

I have a small follow-up based on a conversation we had yesterday. My wife had spent a bit over $100.00 a few days ago at Hamrick's. She purchased several skorts and tops for playing golf and whatever else she got. Yesterday she asked, "Do you think I spent too much money?" I told her there's no way she spends too much money as it in no way at all jeopardizes our household budget. Also, if she will enjoy her purchases, that's the point of buying something. I then asked her if she thought I spend too much money. She said "No." Quite honestly, the only two things I spend money on are golf and my femme wardrobe. That, of course, does not include items to run/maintain the house. Anyway, the point being she doesn't have any issues with me slowly expanding my femme wardrobe. The one thing I'm certain of is she would have told me if she thought I was getting out of hand with my spending.

[jacques]

hello Maria,
my wife and I have a DADT approach to shopping - we don't ask how much the other one spends on women's clothes and we don't tell each other either!
luv J