Closeted CDs

[Jodiee927]

Any others that still dress secretly and how has that been going for you up this point? I have always remained secretive about it. Haven't dressed in a few years and have never fully CDed. Mostly bra, panties, lingerie, skirts. Just curious about others experiences. Thanks.

[Karren H]

Except for those that are full time, think that everyone else is in some kind of closet. Some closets are larger than others, some include parts of the outside world but we all have our little (or bigger) secrets. I think that retirement put me back into a closet though I may dress up to 8 hours a day. Kind of took away my business trip adventures. And I still keep it secret from my unapproving spouse. And the kids. But I?m ok with that. I had my fun. Nothing ever stays the same.

[darla_g]

i totally agree with Karren ^^ on this

[Debs]

my only closet is my local area, I can dress at home all I want, I cannot walk in my local area or let the neighbours see me, I can leave the house dressed in the car via our garage which is part of the house with electric doors, so I can get fully dressed, put a coat on with a hood, put my big sunglasses on, get in the car in the garage, open the door and drive out with my top half covered with sunglasses on, when I get about 2 miles down the road take my jacket hood and sunglasses of, tada out fully dressed, and when I return home do this in reverse, I can open the electric garage door as I aproach and drive straight in and close the door behind me. What a wonderful life I have

[Crissy 107]

Like Karren said, unless you are full time we are all in the closet to some degree. I am out to my wife and that is it. She does not want me to be seen out and about not that I would do it anyway.
I do enjoy going to a nail salon for a pedicure with color and being treated like one of the girls.

[Jemima Stephens]

My Wife found out about 3 years ago and was very upset/confused
I have purged twice since then, but I think she knows that, now I am unemployed again, my 'silliness' is what keeps my head straight - but we never talk about it.

I dress during the day (although about to hit a few weeks of limited possibilities due to summer breaks and family visits) and when I go out during the day (dog walks, shopping) I present as male but try and wear as much female attire as I can - I have managed to go shopping wearing lady's jeans, checked shirt/blouse with one of my unpadded bras underneath - that made the adrenalin flow! Only one person took a second look and that was when I was getting out of my car and he saw down my blouse - he smiled at me nicely.

[Kris Burton]

I think I am in the closet, but it is a pretty big one. My wife knows and is supportive, even participatory up to a point, and she is in there with me. Although I have been out and about frequently and have CD/TG friends both virtually and in real life, she is the only one who knows both my male and female personas. My sons do not know, and we have studiously kept this secret from them even though they are adult men. How much longer - I really don't know. I wrote an article about this - https://kandis-land.com/what-about-the-children-kris-burton/. You might want to give it a read, it may have some resonance for you.

[Jillcder]

Jill has a full womens wardrobe and has been fully dressed in public many times but still in the closet with my spouse. Like Karren when I retired my dressing opportunities while on business trips ended that is the only thing I miss about my working days. I still dress 4-6 times a month I have noticed that wearing panties under my male shorts has helped. Hopefully when I introduce Jill to my wife I can dress more often for the next 20 years or so. Dang I hate the closet!

[alwayshave]

Jodiee, I fully dress. Not as often as I like as I have adult children living with me. My wife is supportive.

[Claire M]

My closet seems to get smaller. My wife knows I like to dress but is not supportive. After my kids left the nest I had about 10 years where my dressing flourished; my wardrobe expanded and I got out 4 or 5 times per month. With COVID then retirement, we downsized our house and did a major relocation which required me to purge about 80% of my wardrobe.

Now days I get to dress maybe once or twice per month when my wife goes to help my daughter with the grandkids. I'm starting to find shopping locations and social outlets for CDs in my new area. But our new house also has much less privacy and judgemental neighbors with prying eyes. Definitely much more of a challenge but it still brings me joy ... so I keep doing it.

[GretchenM]

Personally I consider closeted being where it is kept a secret. But if it is dressing alone without going out to any degree I call it private. My gender identity is no longer kept a secret but the gender expression is private when it involves more than wearing feminine colors, patterns and undergarments and the like. In private I will go most of the way to what I would wear in public if I went out which I don't. However in private I don't use much of any makeup or a wig. It has all changed over the years with the further development and a better definition of how my identity works and is comfortable. Of course I do need to consider what my wife of 54 years does not want to see.

Each to his or her own on this matter. It is what satisfies your need.

[Emily in the south]

I have the very same closet as Debs. Except, no electric garage door opener.. I use the same leaving the house method, and remove the camouflage clothing a little ways down the road and add the wig. Voila.. transformation complete.
Works well for me..

Emily

[Monique65]

I am firmly in the closet and plan on staying here. I do wear panties with my wife’s tacit approval, but every thing else is for my eyes only.

[Angela Marie]

If out of the closet is defined as who knows then I am firmly in the closet since my wife is the only one. But going out is another thing I go out regularly; and I have just started going out sans wig and makeup with feminine attire. I try not to have people I know see me but I think it is inevitably going to happen. Since I finally came to terms with the dominance of my feminine side I won?t lie about it. If someone judges me by my mode of dress that?s their problem not mine.

[sainsue]

I have dressed fully as a CD, but now due to changes in personal circumstances (i.e. married) I only occasionally dress, mostly panties, stockings high heel shoes and other lingerie. This I do secretly as I don't think my wife would understand that it's a need I have which is part of me as a person. Maybe one day we may have that conversation.

[kimdl93]

I agree with Karen that unless one is open with everyone about being a cross dresser (even if they do not present as such full-time) they are to some extent in the closet, hiding this part of themselves from someone for whatever reason.

So, while I do identify as transgender and I have come out to many friends, colleagues and a few family members, I keep this part of my life, if not a well kept secret, at least separate from some parts of my life. Most of the time this division has worked ok for me in recent years, but I live alone and a fair distance from family. I am not sure how I would be able to tolerate living in a DADT situation.

[Rhonda Jean]

I live by myself, but I never dress to stay in. I've gotten to where I almost never fully dress to go out around home, although my leggings, shorts, sandals, big loose tops, nail polish, and purse I guess has to qualify as dressing. When I type all that out it even sounds like dressing to me, but it doesn't feel like it. Can't really explain that except that it doesn't include the big three of wig, makeup, and boobs.

The biggest reason I no longer dress around where I live is that I'm traveling for work a lot. Mostly driving distance, and even when it's beyond what would typically be driving distance I try to drive anyway. I don't think I've been on a trip yet when I didn't dress, but as I've said on here many times lately, I just haven't been feeling it. There have been a couple of times that it's been great, but that had to do with the venue as much as anything. It's best if I can extend the stay a day or two rather than just doing a quick evening out for dinner or whatever.

I still feel like I should be dressing to the nines at every opportunity, but I am absolutely uninspired to do that. I stayed at the Opryland hotel a month or so ago, and that's such a great venue to me that I did dress to the nines and really enjoyed it, but that was much better than it's been for a long time. What I want to wear has changed dramatically with age. I rarely wear a dress or skirt. I just don't think I look good in dresses, so why bother. More and more I'm just wearing what I want to wear at the time. I don't have a well-developed sense of where the line is between wearing some fem things in male mode and crossdressing/female mode. Almost every day when I get home I put on women's shorts or legging, woman's big, loose top, women's flip flops or sandals and I go anywhere and every where and absolutely have no sense of being crossdressed. My toes are always polished, but even when my fingernails are polished, still not feeling cross dressed. Add makeup, yep, starting to get there but still feeling "male mode". Bra with no forms (I almost never wear forms anymore regardless of mode), then I've probably crossed a line. Add a wig, then certainly. When I had long hair it was even harder to find the male/female line.

I don't know how it is for everybody else, but for my whole life I've often worn head to toe clothes from the girl's/women's department and felt zero cross dressed, and had zero hesitation about running errands, visiting friends and relatives, really anything. Well, except work, so I guess there was some sense. Off time, though, that's how I've always typically dressed.

[docrobbysherry]

I consider myself a closet dresser even tho I go out dressed all the time. Sherry has appeared all over the US and around the world. I often go to clubs, bars, and week long T events dressed.

But, not where I live!:battingeyelashes:

[Stephanie Michelle]

I would say I am in the closet. There are a few people that know. I will go out in the winter time just for a drive. I live alone at this time and will dress at home most evenings. I work part time and an on call so not much during the day since I can get a call to go to work. Mu office closet is all my feminine attire. I now have more heels than men shoes.

[BrendaPDX]

I am kinda with Debs and Karren on this. I get out about once a month maybe a couple of times if I am lucky. I travel occasionally for work and that helps a lot. No one knows about me except for my wife, and three other local crossdressers. I have and do fully crossdress from wig to heels (or even flats), sometimes from wig to jeans and running shoes. Brenda

[EmilyShy]

I'm in the closet except to my wife, had the bug since very young but only dabbled over the years only fully CD for about 3 years after coming out to wife, since then I have only been out full femme twice, half hour walk on a beach front early Sunday morning, and been out in male mode wearing a skirt once. Don't get chance to dress full often at all. Still early days for me. It's very difficult mentally. Want to express myself more lol

[Jodiee927]

Everyone's responses have been so great and wonderful to read. As I mentioned, I'm still really new to this forum and it's already been so helpful, relatable, and taking a weight off my shoulders. Thank you all and I look forward to hearing more of your stories.

I have been closeted since I was a kid too. Always snuck around when girlfriends or family was gone. Used to play it safe then got more risky changing during short periods when they were running errands, to eventually dressing when my ex was asleep in the other room. She eventually caught me, and as I've mentioned, I never fully dressed, just skirts, dresses, bra panties, and lingerie especially. A few others know that I have years ago when I sent some photos to them, but other than that it's an unknown to most in my life. I really like the "need to know approach" I've heard some mention. I guess that's how I've gone about things up to this point. We'll see where it goes from there.

[AnelineM]

I am firmly in the closet to my homophobic wife. She knows nothing and would not want to know. But she volunteers one day a week and usually visits her Mom once a week, so Aneline gets to dress up a little. Was better when we both worked full time and I could work/dress at home. I also underdress with panties, nude lipstick and clear nail polish most days.

[mbmeen12]

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?281011-So-is-everyone-here-out-of-the-closet-or-am-I-an-anomaly


Here you go hun lots of wonderful replies...

[Natalie5004]

I dress often. My wife has seen me dressed many times. So, she is not 100% lets go on this but she is not slamming the door either.

Nobody else knows except one sister and my wife's son who she had to tell for some reason.

I have been out in the daytime only. I shop for clothes, food. Been to the movies. No bar or club but I am not a bar person anyway.

[kinky_caitlin]

I guess you could maybe say im partially in the closet as there are a few people I would rather not know about my dressing, but the rest of the world I could care less if they know.

[Amanda77]

I'm fully in the closet. My mom knows i wear female clothes and underwear, but has not seen me dressed. I'm in panties all the time and sometimes a bra, garter belt and stalkings out and about. I've never used a wig or makeup. Im single and dress at home quite a bit. I live in a town of 1000 people and unfortunately to many Neanderthals live here and they wouldn't understand seeing me dressed up. 😕 😔

[Sylvia88]

I?m in the closet as well. I occasionally go out driving in the country and once got a complete makeover and drove five hours home at night!
The only time I?m not Sylvia is when at work and when I do things with my family. I am 61 now and the last few years I have spent pretty much all of my free time dressed.
What I once just considered an occasional hobby has now become my lifestyle. I don?t hesitate to get dressed as soon as I walk in the door, don?t even think about it, it?s who I am and I love every minute of it!!
I have plans this fall to have another makeover, then shopping and go for drinks. Hopefully this will start a new chapter and I can start going out regularly. I have found that I am gaining courage as I age! ❤️ Sylvia

[Jodiee927]

Thank you everyone! I'm loving reading what you all have to say and your experiences.

[Helen_Highwater]

While not an absolute truth I think its fair to say that the older you are the harder it can be to come out.

We grew up in a time when being Gay was illegal at least in the UK. It was the norm for comedians to mock and stereotype Gays. Crossdressing also a mocking comedy vehicle. Societal pressures, some that while they still exist to this day, have ceased to be mainstream and confined more to the knuckle draggers. That said, an element of the popular press regularly target the trans community.

Hence it can be difficult for us to break cover and reveal ourselves and that applies to me. Those who don't know me, I couldn't care less about which is why I'm happy to go out in public. Family and friends is a different kettle of fish.

Thankfully my domestic situation is one were I get ample time to dress around the house. Regular almost daily home alone time gives me the opportunity to wear my femme attire and I think it's fair to say that not a day goes by without my dressing to some extent. Makeup is something that's kept for time away from home.

So today I'll have 5-6 hrs home alone time (HAT) so on will go the hip pads, shapers, wig, heels, fully dressed sans makeup, I'll wash and dry my femme stuff used in the week and do a few other chores to occupy the time before retuning to drab in ample time to avoid the mad scramble to undress as the key turns in the lock. I know I'm lucky to be in the situation I am but it doesn't stop me yearning for more, especially more outandaboutery time.

[Sandi Beech]

For me, life is less complicated by keeping the CDing away from friends, family, work and neighbors. My wife knows I like to CD, but I gave up on any acceptance. For everyone else, I am quite public about it when on the road for work, but lately I have not been able to go out due to lack of travel.

I have posted about many of my outings which are pretty wild at times, since I mostly go clubbing. I am hoping I will get another chance to go out soon. When I go out dressed, it is not to blend. It is to be noticed and life as Sandi is a LOT more exciting than it is when I am in drab. I am treated very differently and I love it.

Sandi

[Lacey New]

I am about as far into the closet as one can get. My wife does not know and neither do any friends and family. The only ones who know are my friends here online and the few sales associates who have sold an anonymous gentleman women?s clothing ( mostly lingerie ) for cash. Now that both my wife and I are retired, we are rarely apart and my stash, by necessity has become quite small and my opportunity to dress, even in a pair of panties has become quite limited. Sometimes frustrating, but such is life.

[Veronica Lacey]

Hi Jodiee...

My wife knows of my dressing, disclosed to her within the first few weeks together while dating (she just felt like the right one to take the chance with.) I literally walked out of her closet one night wearing a white satin blouse and black skirt of hers after choking back my fear and advising her that I had something important to share. Decades later here we are. Have told nobody else as it really didn't seem pertinent and I feel no need, desire nor drive to do so.

Yes, it would be nice to wear what I want as I please at home in my wife's company - sometimes you just want to wear something, right? - but that's not on the radar now nor in the future. Having said that, Mrs. V is ok with it on my own schedule and even regularly affords me time to dress here and there.

Dressing has evolved into a wonderful hobby whereby I wear many nice things as often as time reasonably permits. I have a significant enough sized wardrobe that I could easily wear different items and combos for quite a long time. While I love to read and see how so many others are passable and are making it work I just don't have that desire. I am simply a man who enjoys wearing lingerie, dresses, blouses and skirts along with heels and forms, no make up nor wigs, and have adopted no conscious stereotypically female mannerisms.

Life is good :)

[AllieBellema]

I'm mostly in the closet although that's more because I crossdress in full ball gowns and princess dresses so I really don't have anywhere I can go with these. Outside of the few times that I did go public with my dresses. Not to mention that I really don't do anything about makeup other than lipstick so people would know right away that I'm a MIAD. My friends do know about my dressing up and they all support what I do though so I can share photos with them and get support from that.

[Freddi]

I'm 80% in the closet....my wife knows and is supportive...very supportive. None of the rest of my family or friends know and I doubt they will. But I've no intention of going out in public dressed....people that know me would very quickly know who it was in a dress. I have a very distinguishing feature that no amount of clothing or make up could hide fully. I'm happy enough being able to dress fully and put on my make-up and sit with my wife at home.

[Lea]

I stay in the closet except for three Halloween parties at different locations. My wife was with me all three times and my mother went with us one time.

My wife has been very supportive except for the last few months where her attitude has seemed to change. I am not sure why and I still dress in front of her.

Balancing family and work did not work with going out. Small town and a job that would fire me if they knew.

[Sometimes Steffi]

My only closet is my local area, I can dress at home all I want, I cannot walk in my local area or let the neighbors see me, I can leave the house dressed in the car via our garage which is part of the house with electric doors, so I can get fully dressed, put a coat on with a hood, put my big sunglasses on, get in the car in the garage, open the door and drive out with my top half covered with sunglasses on, when I get about 2 miles down the road take my jacket hood and sunglasses of, tada out fully dressed, and when I return home do this in reverse, I can open the electric garage door as I approach and drive straight in and close the door behind me. What a wonderful life I have

That's pretty much the same closet as me, except I can't dress at home at all, except in secret. However, I do have a GG friend who let's me dress at her place when I go Out and About or to a Girl's Night Out.

I guess I should add that I'm in a couple of local CD/TS Meetup groups, so I have the opportunity to go out with the girls a lot. Sometimes we go to a gay bar but other times we go out to a regular bar or restaurant where we often interact with the muggles.

Also, I go to a yoga class about once a week and typically dress more girly than the average girl. I wear colorful yoga pants and a matching tank top or racerback T shirt. I do underdress in tighty whities at yoga class.

As to who knows. All of you girls, hundreds of girls that I meet at the Keystone Conference and dozens of girls in my local Meetup groups, plus numerous SAs that have helped me purchase girl's clothes.

Who knows both sides of me? A number of CD/TS friends, and a surprising number of my doctors.

My wife knows that I CD, but not much more than that by her request. She has never seen me dressed, nor even seen a pic of me dressed. Every once in a while she comes across something belonging to Steffi that was inadvertently left out.

[Roxxxi]

As the majority here I'm closeted for the most part, only very few people in my very close inner circle know about Roxanne, and I think I'll keep it like that.

However, Roxanne has an Instagram account where she shares her photos for the world to see. I think it's safe (?) to assume that no one will recognize the boy me for Roxanne because as a boy I tend to keep my morning stubble or even a full beard after a few days. I've checked this with the people who knows us both and with those apps with AI which tells us a part very easily.

[Jodiee927]

Love you're sharing, everyone. I can relate to you all so much. And I like the thoughts of keeping people on a need to know basis. I have an ex who knows, and a few friends in the past that I've sent some pictures to when I was feeling bold. Mostly women that were good friends and i could anticipate acceptance and encouragement. I remember the nervous feeling of sending that first picture to my friend amber and eagerly awaiting her response. When i got it and finally opened it her reply was "Yeah Jodie, work it!" FYI, Jodie is a nickname and it happens to work out for this forum too :heehee:Other than those few, that's it.

Yiu look great Roxxi and I admire you're look and story. Send me a pm with your Instagram if you wouldn't mind. I'd like to check it out.

[Mary Loo]

When I first read the starting post of this thread I remembered the thread linked in post#24. Glad that was linked so I didn’t have to find it, myself.

As I said in that post, I am closeted in both definitions, lack of people who know, as well as literally and having never left the house. I honestly don’t care about the general public knowing, but do NOT want family, friends, co-workers, or really anyone else in my life that knows me to know. I don’t travel for work, and any time I do travel it is with or for family and no opportunity. Thus, not sure I will ever break out of the closet. Most days I am perfectly fine with that, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like.

[Diane P]

I'm in the closet, but getting out every once in a while the Girls Night Out in OKC.

[Raychel]

Ahh The closet,

I am out of the closet to all my friends and family, yet still in the closet as far as going out.
I live alone, so I can dress whenever I want at home, and honestly that is almost all the time now
But my neighbors are very close by. I live in a mobile home park. and stepping out the door in Raychel mode would definitely
throw out some flags, there would be no way to get out without being seen.
And when I am away, my camper is in a campground. even harder to step out the door there.
So I have to be content at home.

[sometimes_miss]

Living in a verrry right wing state now, I've decided that risking my safety going out en femme, knowing that I will look like Petunia Potamus in a tutu, would be risking disaster, and I cringe every time I read about a LGBTQ person being attacked or killed, which is on the rise these days, as hate seems to becoming popular. So I stay at home when dressed as a girl, and have to accept that will be all I should risk. I don't have any great need to go out and expose my female self to the world, as I don't need other's acceptance for what I am. I just want the peace of being allowed to be myself, and today's political climate has simply made it open season on anyone that others hate.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I bounce between 2 very right wing states, and while I don't fully dress out and about, I nearly always have a visible toe ring and anklet on, and usually a female-cut tank top or t-shirt along with jeans or jean shorts with useless pockets (if you know what I mean). I also know a number of LGTBQ types around here. Never had any problem, nor have they.

I guess that's getting off-topic. Yeah, I'm in the closet too, only my wife and kids know (most of) the truth about my clothing preferences. Everyone else just thinks my eccentric jewelry and shirt preferences are just me being different. (Best friend: "Why a toe ring?" Me: "Why not?"

[nancy58]

I've been out to my wife for 18 years, but since she doesn't want to see me dressed en femme, I am reluctant to do it when she is around. I resort to androgynous items sometimes. She is gradually getting to accept that. I haven't told other family, and keeping it under wraps is a pain in the neck. As far as others go, I don't care anymore.

[Stephanie47]

Retirement can be a total drag; especially an uninvolved wife's retirement. I retired ten years before my wife. Covid lock down nailed the door shut, Before then my wife worked part-time, but full days several days a week. That afforded me a day of June Cleaver domestic chores; cooking, meal preparation, baking, washing and ironing,vacuuming, tending the flower garden. It was dress, hosiery and heels, all the proper undergarments, and wig all day. Now? My wife and I sleep apart due to medical reasons; bad back and knee needing surgery for my wife, heavy snoring for both of us, etc. I sleep in a combination of bra and panty, slip and/or nightie. She arises mid morning while I am anearly riser. Today I awoke at 5:30 AM. It's now 9:05 AM and I am still in a white bra and panty under a white Velrose slip under a pink ankle length sleeveless Shadowline night gown from the Rosebud collection.

To take the edge off the limitations I try to visit this site and Femulate which has a lot of contributors/blogs.

[josie_S]

I am very much in the closet since only my therapist knows about this in my male life, though I used to go out a few times a year and have had a ton of fun doing so. But the guilt I carry about hiding this from people makes me suppress my crossdressing and then I miss out on things. I don't think the closet is the problem: it's necessary for our safety. But the guilt about hiding in it can be terrible. So the key is to (i think) let go of the guilt and allow yourself to exist without feeling like you have to answer for it to anyone, or tell them everything.

[SuzyZahn]

WOW ,,,I`ll agree with Karren,,,,,nothing stays the same,,,,,

[Jodiee927]

I am very much in the closet since only my therapist knows about this in my male life, though I used to go out a few times a year and have had a ton of fun doing so. But the guilt I carry about hiding this from people makes me suppress my crossdressing and then I miss out on things. I don't think the closet is the problem: it's necessary for our safety. But the guilt about hiding in it can be terrible. So the key is to (i think) let go of the guilt and allow yourself to exist without feeling like you have to answer for it to anyone, or tell them everything.

Thanks for your strong words, Josie. I enjoyed what you had to say and can relate a lot. I felt that same guilt and I am very much in the closet as well. Finding this group and all you wonderful people has gotten rid of some of that guilt pretty quickly. It's nice to hear relatable experiences and finally not feel so alone. I've never had that before, so thank you all!

[JohnH]

I guess for me my closet is the whole world. When the weather is hot in the Dallas-Fort.Worth area.my standard attire are dresses. I go shopping wearing a dress and even wear dresses along with makeup and heels to church. After all if women can wear jeans and sneakers to church I as a man should be able to be dolled up. I have receive almost no pushback with my clothes and even received compliments at church.

[jacques]

hello Jodie,
I have decided to call myself a "stay at home crossdresser". I crossdress in private not in secret. I under-dress in public.
To me that is different from being "in the closet" or dressing up being a "secret" - that makes it sound as if I am ashamed to be a crossdresser.
I know it is only words, and to others there might not be a difference, but it means something to me.
luv J

[Jodiee927]

J,

I agree with you and would say I'm the same. I've learned not to feel ashamed so I'm moving towards becoming a private crossdresser as opposed to a secret one. That's a good perspective, and thanks for sharing. At this point I don't really have a desire to go out in public either. So, private it is.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm surprised that so many of us are sill in the closet or stuck in the house.

I've seen many of your pics and many of you are quite passable, even pretty or hot. It's a shame that you can't get out of the closet or out of the house if that's what you want deep inside.

I'm a member of a couple of DC area CD/TG Meetup groups. You can search for us. I've been going out with the same set of girls since 2007, although some new girls join and other girls disappear.

To paraphrase the Beach Boys, "I wish you could all be DC girls."

If you're ever in DC, PM me and maybe we can meet if I can work out the logistics on my end.

Note that this would be a social meeting at a public location. I'm not at all interested in "play time".

[MarinaTwelve200]

My 'closet' is my own house, in which I live alone (By Choice) and can CD anytime I want to any degree. A day session every week or 10 days is enough for me to get my CD "FIX". My only "Problem" is that I have been getting BORED a bit as of late, always looking for something NEW to try---be it a new makeup experiment, s different dress mode, wigs etc. (Check out my "Blonding Around" thread in the Photo Gallery forum, where I try ALL Blonde Looks.) or try to emulate a celebrity like Sophia Loren. Personally, I think it would be CRAZY for a six foot, 74 year old guy to go out in public like that---- Save for the (Very) occasional Halloween party or Church "Womanless Beauty Contest".

[Nicci]

I'm deeply closeted. Only a handful of women have seen me in any sort of cd since I put on the first bra and panties swiped from my step mom when I was 13 going on three decades ago. And most of the women that have seen it thought it was kinky fetish play they initiated. Even though I ended up sleeping afterwards in the bra and usually panties I had on for the "games".

[Kitty Sue]

I have put myself back in the closet. My wife knows and although supportive with wanting to help do my makeup, I have not wanted to dress around her. I have not gone out dressed in years, but as Karen said above "I have had my fun."
I had some amazing times going out dressed and a number of my friends and a few family members knew. Although, I must admit, now that I think about it, I guess I was never 100% out. Afterall, my siblings, parents etc have never known.

[linda booth]

I've never thought of myself as being in the closet. I just don't have any desire to appear in public. I'm a crossdresser because I love the clothes and I like wearing them. There's a certain classic style I like - pre mini skirt. Wearing these clothes in the comfort of my home gives me all the satisfaction I need.

[Bri]

Veronica this sounds like my story to the T. My wife says, " I don't understand, I don't care, and I don't want to be a part of it. I have never had the desire to try and pass. Kind of impossible with a beard anyway and I do not want to shave it off. I do enjoy underdressing and at home when the wife is away I go 100% feminine including makeup, false eyelashes and nails, and jewelry. Sometimes an auburn wig or I just do my very long gray hair.

[Deborah G]

My wife knows, but does not want it to be a part of our relationship. Sad, but she does understand that it is part of who I am. I underdress everyday, and for me it works. Deborah

[CynthiaD]

At one time I felt that I was pretty much out of the closet, but the recent anti-trans trend has made me uncomfortable, so I?m more closeted than I was.

[Becky Bloodstone]

I feel like people suspect something of me. I don't go out fully dressed in public but I do go out with shaved legs, painted nails, eye shadow, women's jewelry, and perfume. I hold a sort of intimidation where I live. I'm not scary looking as man but I was a boxer for a long time so people don't really mess with me.

[Audrey34]

I dress fully at home when I'm in the mood. Sadly, the last couple of years have kind of put me off and I've rarely dressed at all. I still attend my CD support group meetings where I get dressed but I've missed nearly as many as I've attended. Maybe my getting older has something to do with it. Feel more depressed the last couple of years than usual.

[Rhonda M.]

Closeted. I have taken a set of undies with me on vacation a few times and wore them in the hotel room. Pro tip: always throw the deadbolt / door latch.

One time I bought something that was on sale at Victoria's Secret and was wearing it in the room when I heard the door beep and being opened. Thankfully the door latch stopped it from opening completely. I quickly changed and stuck my head out the door and a bellhop apologized and said the guest he was with was supposed to be in my room but there was a mix up. They went back downstairs and were given a different room on the floor.

[AmyS]

I still remain in the closet, but in this sense, I consider the closet my entire home. Living alone, I'm able to dress freely within the comfort of my own home. If I have an occasional guest over, I have to hide some of the feminine home decor items I have out, that may lead to some confusion. If they were to ever open a few drawers or go into the master closet, would they be in for a shock. Still trying to find the courage to expand my life beyond my own home.

[MoniqueAsh743]

I am closeted to friends and family but wore a wig and bikini yesterday. It was to a nudist beach in a different country to where I live. My wife and I a planning a weekend away at a hotel fully dressed.

[Michela]

In the closet to friends and family, but I underdress 24/7 and fully dress at home. I got remarried about 10 yrs ago and told her about my 💓 of dressing in woman's clothes. She has been supportive ever since, we even shop together.

[Celee]

Im also in the closet. My wife knows but doesnt want to know if that makes sense. She knows I use her use her clothes. Sometimes she will ask me if I like to play with her bra or panties. I say yes and she smiles at me. Sometimes she will ask me if I wear them and before I can say yes she says I know you like pretty lacy things so you just use them for ? well you know. I will let her decide when if and how much she wants to know.

[DianeT]

I see many who consider that a CD who doesn't go out or come out to everyone around him is in the closet. I have to disagree. I don't feel any urge to go out, my dressing is private and that is the way I want it to stay, no closet here. I don't intend to come out to the world either. Just like I don't necessarily share the musics I compose or the short stories I write, and many other things I do, they're for me and my wife and I am content with that. In these matters as in the CDing I am happy being my own judge since I do them for me not for the world. No closet here either, at least not since I finally came out to my wife.

If you want to go and see the world dressed, post pictures, tell the whole planet, knock yourself out, get your kicks, but do not try shoehorning everyone else in your particular vision of CDing. You should probably stop seeing closets everywhere, one size doesn't fit all and not everyone feels like he is in a closet because he can't tell the world about his female alter ego. My female alter ego is perfectly happy lounging on the couch looking in awe at her shoes like a silly and doesn't need nor seek any endorsement. Thank you!

[jennifer60]

I Dress with just a bra top and panties for a few hours while wife is out

[Becky19]

I'm totaly in the closet not even my SO knows. So I have a question for those living in the closet when living with people who do not know, where do you keep your clothes, mine are in a bag in the garage. I have no intention of letting my SO know that I dress if she finds out she finds out and I will cross that bridge when and if it arises,.so that is where my clothes will stay when not in use.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Let's see. When I first started with panties and bras, I had two hiding places. One was in the bottom draw of my dresser, underneath some old boy clothes. The second was in a box with western-style cowboy boots. I stuffed manties into the boots all the way down to the toe. I stuffed a sock at the top of the "shank" to keep the panties from being seen.

One time my wife saw me packing a bra in my luggage before I went out of town. She really blew a gasket. I thought that she might go an a search and destroy mission as soon as I left. I had a couple days before going out of town, so I rented a storage locker and put almost everything there. I left a few panties in some obvious hiding places in the house, so if she found them, she would think that she got them all.

[Diane P]

I'm slowly coming out of the closet. In the last two weeks I've gone out twice during the day and have taken pictures of myself that I've posted on here for everyone to see. I've been to the GNO in OKC three out of the last six months and plan on doing my best to make the next two and then the three day event in Nov. When I've been out taking pictures, and will do again either Tues or Thur this week, I do my best to avoid other people. Since my makeup skills are so bad it would be easy to tell I'm a man in women's clothing. That's why I use FaceApp before I post the pictures.

[Michaela Jane]

I am closeted but, being widowed for 7 years I can indulge my dressing all day, every day. I have to moderate it when the kids come to visit on a Sunday evening. I cook them dinner, at which time I may be wearing femme clothes but androgynous enough to still be "Dad". It's the same when I go out, I wear all femme clothes but look like society expects. I am happy with that.

[Bea_]

I have been getting claustrophobic in my closet.

[Diane P]

Michaela, I'm right there with you. My wife passed away July 5th of last year, so I can also dress any time I wnat at home. Just getting used to the idea.

[drobert44]

I am soon to be single, and will have an upstairs closet for my girly stuff........

[Jane G]

I'm totally in the closet not even my SO knows. So I have a question for those living in the closet when living with people who do not know, where do you keep your clothes, mine are in a bag in the garage. I have no intention of letting my SO know that I dress if she finds out she finds out and I will cross that bridge when and if it arises,.so that is where my clothes will stay when not in use.

Perhaps for a separate thread. But the sooner your wife knows. the easier the rest of your life will be. Secrets from your closest partner are a recipe for stress and long term mostly damage relationships. She will find out. Be sure of that and prepare.

[Giddy]

I?m living in a pretty small closet at the moment. Unfortunately my SO came close to finding my secret wardrobe when I returned from a business trip, so I panicked and purged! Luckily I didn?t lose a lot as I only had one dress and a couple of panties. Since then, I haven?t had an opportunity for a few days away from home so my CD closet is back in my own mind again, as I?ve been living for years. Perhaps one day?

[agapoula19]

My gf knows (and accepts) me wearing panties, but I never shared with her my desire to wear more, much more. I'm trying to work up the courage, or find the right moment... :)

[Shannon Lace]

I?m still in the closet as well. I have managed to go out fully dressed with makeup and walked through a few local stores a few times. Got one or two looks and actually received a compliment from a saleswoman. Made my day. I?m always careful and lucky so far.

- - - Updated - - -

I?m the same way Becky19. My wife doesn?t know and my clothing and makeup is in an empty tool box in my workshop.

[Tiffany8]

Hey Jodiee
I'm in a simular situation. I haven't dressed in over 12 years. Since then I met and married my wife. And until recently, I haven't haven't been caught in the pink fog. I used to wear bras filled with various homemade breast forms, panties, nighties, nylons and various lingerie. Over the past year or 2 my marriage hasn't been that good. (Story for another time) and I am definitely not ready to tell her.
I have recently started to create a hidden cabinet in my garage and now I'm looking to start a new wardrobe for Tiffany.

[Rochelle76]

I'm completely in the closet and i'm not interested in my family or friends knowing. I would like to find a partner that would be understanding but I don't think I would be able to come out to her. I've also considered letting a therapist know, but don't know what I would gain from that. I get to dress maybe once a year since I don't live alone and have purged many times over the years.

[JulieC]

Rochelle, stop purging. You're just wasting money :) As to finding a partner, if it's someone new to you ... what's the potential loss in telling them? Ok it takes a bit of courage. But, you will never find what you want if you don't ask for it. I told my (now) wife when we had been dating a couple of months. It has worked out very well. If it hadn't I would have broken up with her immediately and moved on to the next. I'd gotten to a point of my life where I was sick of being treated poorly for being a crossdresser, and I wasn't going to be with someone who didn't accept me...all of me. It's your life, but I should think being you is very important.

[Nathalia]

Same here I crossdress for myself and no one else matters as its for my own satisfaction.

[Jodiee927]

Thanks again everyone for all your insights and stories. Great to hear everyone's perspectives and experiences.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I am soon to be single, and will have an upstairs closet for my girly stuff........

If I was single, I would have a whole pink room upstairs, not just a closet. Just sayin'.


Unfortunately my SO came close to finding my secret wardrobe when I returned from a business trip, so I panicked and purged! Luckily I didn't lose a lot as I only had one dress and a couple of panties.

My wife came home from church early actually found me packing a bra in my suitcase before going on a trip. There was a lot of "drama" that day. It was a day that I'd like to forget.

I thought that my wife would go on a "search and destroy" mission as soon as I went to the airport. I'm kind of a pack rat and don't like purging. In fact, I have never purged.

I had a couple of days before leaving, so I got a storage locker and move most of my firl stuff (3 or 4 small boxes worth) to a storage locker. I left a few things in place around the house so she could find them on her "search and destroy" and think that she got everything. But all the good stuff was in the storage locker before I left town.

I don't know if she searched but she didn't destroy. By the time I came back, the temperature in the house was a little lower that when she discovered the bra.

Lesson: Don't purge. Just find a better hiding place. Or get a storage locker and find a friend who's not too nosy.

I've offered a few people to add their stuff to my storage locker and ship it back to them if they changed their mind later. However, my 5' x 5' storage is pretty much filled to the brim. I even managed to acquire 4 wedding dresses off of eBay and put them in my storage locker. I really need to go by there and toss (not purge) some clothes that I will never wear.

[Samantha51]

That sounds a great compromise to under-dress! I wear M&S knickers (my only purchase, made in-store) most days and a strappy vest (hand-me-down from my wife). I don't have a bra (or anything else for that matter) yet. Undressing for me is like a shield that says F-U to social norms of "being a man" that I don't want any more - I might present like every other man dressed in the dull clothes we have, but underneath I'm more :).

I'm happy to be a man, just not most of the male BS that goes along with it.

- - - Updated - - -

Being new on this forum coming from r/crossdressers, etc, I am struck how many people here are closeted. Isn't this a bit sad that we have to hide our true selves away? I understand, but I think so. Quite lonely if we can't come out cleanly to our SO and can't (even if only occasionally) go out to say a friendly bar. Lonely. The "friend" that oiled the hinges for me to open the CD door for me seems to be ghosting me now, my wife and I are in early stages. I had a pretty good chat with my GP and it was a relief to talk to somebody non-judgemental.

Up until joining here yesterday I had assumed, from Reddit "indoctrination", that my end-goal would be full CD, nearly whenever I want, out in public solo or with my wife. Now, I see there's an alternative. Any alternative does need to allow me to be myself (in general not just CD) as I've been a closeted "good boy" all my life and it's horrid!

[StacyG]

This topic makes me thankful for this website. I'm single and have one adult child living at home. Se made the mistake of going in my room and seeing my closet full of women's clothe. She and one GG know about my dressing. I underdress everyday since i work alone and I sleep in a nightgown every night. If I know my daughter is going to be out of the house for an extended period of time, I will dress. I don't do make up or wigs though.
I do like Debs does sometimes. Get dressed up and put on my warm ups and go to the drive in theater here in Ft Worth. Set up the bed of my truck and pop in my breast forms and peel off my warm ups and enjoy the movie dressed. Several times a year I get an air bnb for the weekend and stay dressed there. A few weeks ago I went to a bnb at the beach and drove to a deserted area at night and sat on the tailgate of my truck in one of my favorite dresses, even walked out into the gulf about waist deep.
I do have a pinball machine at home and have posted on doublelist inviting other dressers over to play pinball while dressed, but they usually chicken out.
Would be nice to have friends to dress with in person, but I like my closet too.

[regina 75]

when i was married the first time i had a full colection of all types of womens cloths, heels anpolish and makeup
iused to wear a womens 2 pc in my pool
now iam limited to abra and panties daily
ido have 44c breasts

[Jodiee927]

Thanks everyone for sharing, I love reading these and its nice to know that I can relate to so many others out there. As I read peoples experiences and sense of courage, it motivates me to want to take the next steps in my journey. I shared in another post that I just ordered some things for myself and it has been YEARS since I have done that. Talking with other girls in the area with hopes of potentially meeting up and getting some help.

I can relate to a lot who dress secretly and I respect those who choose not to share that with others in their lives. I think I am at that point for the time being too. I dont know if I would want my significant other to see me like that, and would much rather do it with others who can relate. As I've said before, discovering this forum has been a great experience for me and I've learned so much and gained so much understanding of things I did not before. Especially about myself. So thank you all!

[BaliGirl]

I still dress secretly.

Every night I dress in women's pajamas or a lacy top and pants to go to bed.

I'll dress in a bra and panties some days. Sometimes under a shirt and sweats, other times I'll wear a dress with pantyhose, or even a garter belt and thigh-highs.

[Fiona Manchmal]

Right now I think my dressing is best described as quasi-closeted. I am lucky enough to have a supportive, even encouraging (she sometimes buys me things) SO, but I hadn't dressed much over the summer and now find I feel awkward/silly again being dressed in front of her. Kind of like when I first told her about me. If I know she will be dropping by I return to man mode (on the outside, anyway). I think she might be more comfortable with Fi than sometimes I am.

[Robin777]

My dressing was always known to my late wife and she participated in it by helping me purchase my wardrobe. She had one condition and that I didn't leave the house dressed. So if that is considered being closeted, then that is what I am. I haven't had the urge to leave the house dressed for years. Except for the backyard at night to yell at the dogs.