How to deal with CD burnout?

[Jessica G.]

Hello all,

As the title states, I have been in a bit of a down part of my cross dressing.
I have been doing it for about 2 years now. I posted my story in the introduction section.

My wife is supportive in what I do on a daily basis which includes getting dressed up after I come home from work. This includes clothing (usually casual tank top and shorts or leggings),I will wear dresses and nicer outfits on my days off. I will wear my forms anywhere from a C-H cup depending on how I feel, mainly my default size is my 40DDD bra and 2000G forms. I will do a full face of makeup and hair, with my glasses (for looks and to hide my male features). I have been doing this for about 90% of the year.

Lately I have been feeling a lack of want in regards to getting dressed. I don't get the rush like I used to when I first came out to my wife and friends which I am fine with as I liked the fact that this is not a fetish for me but a way for me to express my feminine side. I know in my heart that I love my Jessica time and I don't want to loose it.

I feel like the weather may play into it at times. It is average 110F here now in southern CA, and at the end of the day I don't really look forward to doing makeup and melting lol, and I hate under arm sweat and how it wants to stain my nice bras! But I usually have to do the whole getup. Some days I will wear my forms and a tank with shorts, no makeup and hair, but I'm not too big a fan of that as I see too much male figure.

While I do have friends that accept me and I even feel comfortable dressed around them when we gather. I don't feel like I share anything in common with people I know. I would love to one day finally go out in public and not give a hoot with what anyone else thinks, but I also feel this may be a contributing factor. It sucks that I will get all dolled up to just have to stay in the house at days end.

I just wanted to see if there is an tips on how to feel the want again?

Thanks for hearing me out
Jessica <3

[audreyinalbany]

be patient.It'll come back. we're a funny bunch. We beat ourselves up because we wan to dress like women then we beat ourselves up because we don't want to dress like women. Go figure

[Di]

It comes and goes.
The rush thing you mentioned…I gather it is more sexual for you then.
Some it just is who they are.
Not saying either is wrong but trying to say for different reasons it ebbs and flows . Just go with the flow.

[Karren H]

2 years? Straight? I get burnt out after a week! Lol.

[Jessica G.]

What I meant to say, is when I first told my wife 2 years ago, it was so much fun and a rush to go out and finally buy dresses, bras, forms, and hair since I didn't have to worry about having to hid it anymore. Then it settled down to the point where I felt happy and content dressing as a woman. I know there are people that only do it as a fetish and that's cool. But I never felt I had to do it for that reason. It just felt normal.

- - - Updated - - -


2 years? Straight? I get burnt out after a week! Lol.

I guess it may be that? Maybe its nothing to worry about. I always look forward to it at the end of the day as it is a way for me to destress from the day and feel happy and comfortable.

[Steph_CD_62]

Not everyone is the same, but generally most go through a period of not wanting to get all dressed up.
I've gone almost a year without wanting to get dressed, during this I put everything in boxes and put them in the garage. A few months ago I went an entire month without wanting to get dressed.
Just realize this is normal, and the urge (need) to get dressed will come back.

[Jessica G.]

Thank you for sharing, It seems that this is something most go through, which helps set my mind at ease a little. Maybe a break might might not be so bad.

[Diane P]

I just started dressing Sep of last year, after about 20 years of undressing in panties. Other than going to a Girls Night Out in OKC a couple times most of my dressing has been at home. Lately I haven't felt much like dressing, even though I love sleeping in night gowns. I plan on getting out of the house some time in the next couple weeks, either dressed or dressing after I get out, and taking some pictures of myself to post on here. One thing that I have seegirls post on here, and if you look it is part of my signature, is that Pink Fog will roll in when you least expect it and you'll have the urge to dress. So just relax, roll with the flow and continue to post on here, either starting a post or replying to some.

[docrobbysherry]

Hi Jessica! I welcome u to CD.com. Here's a few comments on your post:

U must live way inland judging by how hot it is? Because I live in SoCal near John Wayne airport and it's been averaging about 75 here the last 2 weeks.:)

I've been dressing for over 25 years. But, after the first 10, throwing on a few fem things did nothing for me. It's dress to the 9's or not at all for me now. Dressing a few times a month keeps me quite satisfied!:battingeyelashes:

Finally, there's a monthly event u could attend in Long Beach if u ever want to go out as Jessica and meet a ton of other T's. Hamburger Mary's has a T Girl nite the 1st Sat. of every month. Usually about 300 folks attend. With heaps of us dressers among them! We drink, dance, and socialize. It may be a long drive for u. But, a number of girls come from Riverside, San Berdoo, and even San Diego! Love to see u there!:hugs:

[alwayshave]

Jessica, Like others said, it comes and goes. During covid, I got somewhat depressed. That certainly cause my desire to dress to plunge.

[Jenn A116]

Agree with much of what the PP's have said. I know in my case the urge comes and goes.

An interesting byproduct is that it helps us understand what women deal with every day since they really don't have any other choice.

[Natalie5004]

It is pretty hot where I am. I stopped going out fully dressed. I can wait for cooler weather.
But in the meantime I get all dolled up at least 3x times a week. Spend all day as Natalie.

[Jessica G.]

docrobbysherry
I live in the Coachella Valley, and it is pretty hot!
I would love to be able to go to an event with people that share the same interests as me. I feel that would be a great way to finally experience going out in public. I will have to look into this.

Diane P
Thank you for your input. I feel a little better talking with others that share the same lifestyle. I hope you have a great time when you do go out. I would love to be able to do this in the near future. I do get times where I can't wait to get off work and dress. but not so much lately. But it has come back a few times, to the point where I can't shut up when talking to my wife about new bras I want or other clothing lol I would love to share photos soon. I did on another site but it was not tight nit, and posts could be shared in the general public, so I deleted everything when trolls made there presence on my posts. I fell like this is a much better place though.

Alwayshave
Might be a similar situation with me as my depression has been acting up lately. When its not it kind of sparks back a little.

Natalie5004
Me too, long sleeves, leggings, tights etc, way to hot here now. Other then that I used to keep my Sundays free so that I could be Jessica all day. Loved it as it was a full day to relax and be me. Not that other days were bad, it was just nice to feel great for a longer period of time. Dressing up for only 4 hours for bed sucks but at least I can if I want. You look great btw!

[Crissy 107]

Jessica, It just happens to everyone or almost everyone. The good thing is it is definitely coming back and maybe even stronger.
You have found the right place to be with us, also, nice profile pic

[Jessica G.]

Thanks you Crissy, I feel good to be here :)
Sometimes just going through my photos like I did today, helps bring back the want. I'm relived to hear I am not alone feeling how I do.

[kimdl93]

Take a break. If something feels like its becoming a chore, give it a rest.

[jacques]

hello Jessica,
trust me - it never goes away.
It might lie dormant for a while and it will probably change over the years.
My wife is supportive so I can dress whenever I like at home, or I might choose not to.
luv J

[mbmeen12]

Great question, I have not dressed for the summer yet but a trigger occured. My gf mentioned how smooth my legs were and next day I was dressed and yada yada yada.

[Stephanie47]

I am a believer in cause and effect, i.e., Why does one engage in cross dressing to begin with? If you can discover the "Why" in yourself that may answer the question of the "ebb and flow." It makes sense if one has suppressed a desire to do something and then there is nothing to stop one from engaging in something, the dam breaks. I found that occurred with me when I retired and my wife was still working. I was able to dress seven hours a day for as many days as my wife was working to the extent it interfered with getting chores done outside our home. Reality set in and I found myself dressing when something in my mind called to me. To me, it makes no sense for a man to engage in cross dressing just for the heck of it. Sure, a Halloween or Womanless Beauty Pageant for kicks, but as a way of life? If, as you report, you can freely emulate a woman, and it does not happen, then your mind is not calling to you. I use to "force" myself to dress on occasion and it was a total mental bust.

As a side comment, heck most women are not going to go full dressing to the nines in high temperatures. When it gets warm my wife is comfortable braless wearing a free flowing sun dress or shorts and a sleeveless tee shirt.

[Heather76]

My wife is supportive in what I do on a daily basis... .

While I do have friends that accept me and I even feel comfortable dressed around them when we gather. I don't feel like I share anything in common with people I know. I would love to one day finally go out in public and not give a hoot with what anyone else thinks, but I also feel this may be a contributing factor. It sucks that I will get all dolled up to just have to stay in the house at days end.

I feel as though I'm missing something here. If your wife is supportive, and some of your friends accept Jessica, why is it you have to stay in the house once you're dressed? I suspect if you asked your wife if it would be okay for you to go out, the desire would be back with a vengeance. If she doesn't want you out where you might run into family and friends you're not out to, then maybe lunch/shopping/movie with your wife an hour or 2 from where you live might work. Why not ask her? That could make for a wonderful Saturday excursion.

[sometimes_miss]

CD burnout? Nope. I do get 'drab' burn out; after having a busy week at work where I go for more than 5 days without crossdressing, I'm just tired of dressing as a guy. Gimme that bra, gimme those panties, stockings, and that cute Sailor Moon outfit, right now!

[Jessica G.]

Ok so I will clear some things up.

I will tend to get this way from time to time. In the end the feeling comes back, but I hate the fact that it comes around in general. It sounds like this is not something I only deal with so it helps to know I'm not alone. Matter of fact after posting on here yesterday and reading other peoples post made me feel excited to dress a little yesterday. My wife even noticed the color choices and clothing I wore yesterday showed I put more effort in and I agree.

Now in the regards to going out, and people who know.
My wife does not care if I decide to go out, she actually encourages it, but for some reason I cannot bring myself to do it even though it is a reoccurring thought from time to time on why I just don't do it already. From childhood I was made fun of a lot in school, I was always skinny and the tallest of my classes into Highschool. Part of me not wanting to go out is the fear of being made fun of. In the moment I fell like I could do it and have the mentality of stop caring what others think. I can talk myself up to it but can't go forward with it.

The one that worries about family members finding out is me. My dads side of the family is more of the traditionally Hispanic background. While on a positive note, my brother, and cousin know and I am always dressed when they come over to hang out and think nothing different of me. One day I even came out to my mom! I show her pictures when I go over and she even donates some of the clothing she buys online and does not end up liking lol. Hell I have even given some of my brand new walmart bras to my mom since I found the nicer quality in Torrid Bras! While she is cool with it but even she agrees its not something to tell my dad about. I don't know how he would react if I did, but I have a general idea and that is ok since we are all free to have our opinions. When I'm in my manly garage mode and share interests like any other father and son. Its not that I need to tell him but it would be nice to get it over with. My dads family which I see time to time throughout the year are all within less then 10 miles from each other, not counting second cousins etc.

My best friend since high school helped me come out to my wife (together for 13 years married for almost 2) and have been nothing but accepting since. Its the general public that scares me. While I think I look good, I sometimes get myself down when I'm surrounded by a lot of women like at a concert or a bar. I look at them and wish I could look like them, or pull off a certain look. I look at my pictures and there is no comparison. I then will think to myself at a later date that I'm not a woman and I shouldn't have to feel like I need to look like one 100% I should be happy with how I present myself. I have a small amount of anxiety and depression which I'm sure does not help.

Believe me, I would LOVE to go out more other than a car ride with tinted windows, or running to the front door of my friends house so their other neighbors don't see me. I want to know if going out will help me feel better, and I wont know until I finally do. It's just hard to be brave enough.

[Cheryl T]

Like anything you do the interest will wax and wane.

[Fiona_44]

Jessica,

You have a long list of impressive supporters of your dressing - your wife, mother, other relatives and a good friend - and if they don't mind if you go out in public then I think you should be confident that it would go well. They would not be okay with it if they thought the chances were good that you would be humiliated in some way. If you do decide to go out in public, just insure that the your clothes, hair, makeup, mannerisms .. etc are done so that you blend in with other ladies in your age group. Blending in gives people less reason to look your way.

I think most CD's admire attractive women. And while some do well in emulating them looks-wise, many of us fall a bit short of that ideal beauty. Just work to make yourself as attractive as you can and then enjoy the lady looking back at you in the mirror.

Fiona

[Kitty Sue]

Interesting topic. I am waiting for the time to return when I will want to get entirely made up again. I believe it will happen, although it has not for years. I have been married since 2014 I probably last dressed fully sometime in early 2012.
Every now and then I will put on a pair of really cute leggings that I have, but that's about it.

[Helen_Highwater]

I think Cheryl hit the nail on the head. Things we all enjoy, things we've done all our adult lives, things that could normally be the highlight of our week will on occasions just feel like a chore. That feeling that it's too much trouble, you just don't feel like it, the" I'll give it a miss this week" feeling.

You could try simplifying your dressing every now and again. Strip it back to the basics. Bra, forms, knickers, skirt and a top and leave it at that. After all, that's how most women would dress. No makeup. Summer heat, spaghetti straps spring to mind.

And yes, going out will definitely refocus your thinking and go with the 40C's for your outandaboutery would be my advice.

[ReineD]

It’s like an addiction. You need more and more in order to feel the same rush.

So I guess the next step is going out in public. According to what I read in this forum, there are all kinds of thrills associated with going out initially. And when that becomes old hat and depending on your level of homophobia, you may want some interactions with men or at the very least, you may focus on enjoying that thrill when a guy looks at you admiringly.

[Rhonda Jean]

Oh, just when things get interesting I've got to go out of town for a few days with no access!

Seems that someone has hacked Reine's account!

Now, I think we as a group might not be quite as laser straight as we like to advertise, and I had my own late-in-life-discovered daliances, but there were extenuating circumstances (the BIG on being I was DIVORCED), but I don't thing all roads lead to men or even getting a thrill out of an admiring glance. More likely your cd self becomes increasingly and unmanageably large (not in the physical sense obviously).

Now, at a most inopportune time, I gotta go!

[Jessica G.]

Fiona

I know I have some support and it is more then some have and I am grateful. I guess its me that has to get over the hurdle of just doing it. I remember when I told my wife and all I did was say I wish I had done this sooner, but try not to dwell on the past. My point is I would just like to get the initial 1st time over with and know if it is something I would like or not. Then Ill kick myself wondering why I didn't do it earlier! lol
I would love to go out and have a ladies day, in regards to voice, I'm not sure. While it would be nice to change my tone, I have a deep voice and I don't feel like it is a need for me to complete my look. I would like to try to work on mannerisms though. My wife likes it what I still act like I do even when I am Jessica. She does not want to see a 100% different person which I completely understand.
That's what I think as well, I admire the natural curves of a woman and real breasts and I get jealous lol. Other wise I am content with how I look in the mirror which should be all that matters, but sometimes I forget about that.

Helen
You make some very good advice. I used to do that. At minimum I would wear "comfy clothes" I call it, which usually is biker shorts, or short athletic shorts, leggings in the cooler months, bra, forms and top. I just feel incomplete without hair and I cannot have hair without makeup lol. I see to much man in the mirror when I don't have hair and makeup, but you are right, women don't always dress daily, It might just be something I need to work on.
You are right on size, I would probably wear my 40DD as they are a nice size for my body proportions. Don't want to over do that part even though I love my forms. :)

Reine

You do make some points. When I first started it was just wanting to wear women's underwear and maybe some low profile sports bras. Then it went to clothing, then bras and forms etc until now it is full drab. There was a rush of excitement in each step and now it feels dull. Going out would be the next step and I feel it may help after all . I hate that I feel confined to my home at times and it seems like this may be the solution. You are not wrong, I'm sure there are people that would like to get noticed and I do like complements I get from some of my friends that know. It is flattering to be told your "hot" or "Sexy".

I really appreciate everybody's advice, I think I have a better understanding on what I may need to do after hearing other peoples stories.