Wendy totally in love needs help

[Wendy me]

Hello girls You heard it Wendy is in love and needs help

Ok let?s start from the beginning once a pin a time this amazing cd trans what ever ? girl was just a little crazy and chatty

Ok my wife of over 45 years passed two years ago ovarian cancer horrible I was loyal to her to the end

Ok lonely all by myself I tried fb dating thing and was ready to delete it when I got a message from a gorgeous woman we talked we chatted we exchanged pictures and what not we are going to meet up soon so excited thrilled beyond belief.

I know from the beginning be honest I get that she is coming to stay with me until we figure out what we want

She doesn?t know about Wendy we have met I request her sizes and bought her from the skin out a very cute outfit she was amazed that I bought all of it for her she looked like a princess gorgeous beautiful beyond words


I can?t hide my Wendy things it takes up two walk in closets and the spare bedroom


I desperately needed this to work help

[DAVIDA]

Hey Wendy!:)
It is really good to see you again.
The only thing I can tell you is that you need to be very honest and upfront about yourself.
As hard as it can be, you will either have a wonderful relationship, or not.
I know you have read all of the threads and posts from members who didn't, and things didn't work out for the better.
To me, it would be better to find out now what her feelings are than later.
Hopefully, she will be OK with things and your life will be wonderful from now on.:)
Whatever you decide to do is totally up to you.
Davida

[docrobbysherry]

U met someone on FB and rite away let her move in with u? And, you're worried about the skeletons in your closet!?:eek:

I'll pray for u!:doh:

[char GG]

Now is the time to tell her. It seems it would be best before she moves in.

If you've read this forum since 2004, you have seen the sad stories of people who have kept their secret, committed to a relationship, only to see it unravel after a reveal.

Typically, it's the hiding and secrecy that women abhor. You have a chance to be upfront and honest before things get too serious.

[Heather76]

You haven't met in person yet and she is coming to live with you until the two of you figure out you guys want? I think I understand the desire to have someone with you again; but, this seems like something you really don't want to do. Please be careful. If I'm completely wrong and all her motives are good, tell her the first day you two are together. Get out of the closet immediately.

[Helen_Highwater]

Sorry to be a bit of a party pooper but as others have said, you've never met but she's coming to live with you? This seems like one of those tv dramas were a woman has had several previous husbands who all died suddenly in tragic circumstances.

So OK, let's assume her motives are good. Before she makes the commitment to come and spend time with you given you're hoping for a long term relationship, you need to be up front and tell her about your dressing before she invests her time and hopes only to then have them shattered.

And if she's good with it, I'd still tread carefully. "Gorgeous women" don't normally need to revert to fb to find company. If it seems to good to be true. Just sayin'.

[Crissy 107]

Please be careful, start by being honest and open and before she shows up. I do not want to see you get into a situation you may regret.
That all said, we are in your corner and only wish you the best.

[SaraLin]

I'm with the others.
It does seem a bit suspicious that she'd be ready to move in with someone she hasn't met in person.
But IF she's the real item, you need to let her know what she's getting into before she uproots her life for you.

Proceed with not only caution, but caring.

[alwayshave]

I as well am skeptical of someone staying with you that you have never met. However, just tell her.

[Sandi Beech]

Wow, how long a period are we talking about between meeting on face book and move in ? I really hope you got lucky and she is the real deal. There are some people who may not have good intentions, I think I would start by running one of those beenverified reports on her. You know , trust but verify. Something just makes me see warning flags. I hope I am wrong.

Regardless I think you should tell her up front.

Sandi

[Teresa.Smith.VA]

Char GG has it absolutely right, "Now is the time to tell her. It seems it would be best before she moves in." A relationship built on less than full honesty is difficult to repair.

[Di]

Wendy
First happy you found love.
But I am sure you know in back of your mind you HAVE to tell her before she moves in.
All the stories from everyone over the years….as hard as it is it is the very best way.
Wendy is who you are .
I wish you the very best.

[Debs]

one word "Catfished", bet she or he will need money to travel to you, then the dog will be ill and vet fee money needed, then more delays etc etc all needing money, and seeing youve never met this person, it could be a bloke from Nigeria catfishing you, once again my opion, but alarm bells ringing in my head.

[Helen_Highwater]

Debs makes a good point. If you have a picture of her it's possible to do a web search to see if the picture appears anywhere else. There have been cases on TV of women duped as Debs says and when the TV program did the search the picture was someone who's had it copied off their web page and totally innocent.

[nancy58]

Danger, Wendy Robinson! Crossdressing aside, it seems very risky to allow a complete stranger to move in when you've not even met her face-to-face. As someone said, "On the Internet, no one knows if you're a dog." (I'm thinking of the furry kind, not the unkind name for a homely person.) Do you really want to run the risk of someone coming in and taking control of your life, or worse? One of my university friends was besmitten by a woman he had a relationship with on Facebook. It cost him a great deal of money and trouble to remove her from his apartment and his life.

I agree with others' advice to come out to her before she moves in. The more people are invested in something, the more upset they are when it's not what they expect.

Discuss this woman with your IRL (in real life) friends -- leaving out the CD complication if you have to -- and see what they say.

This gives me another point to consider: if you're not "out" to the people you care about or people who could make life difficult for you (landlord, boss, etc.) if they aren't OK with your crossdressing, this is a fulcrum that someone could use against you. Please keep that in mind.

You're a big girl. Think things through carefully. If your lady friend really cares about you, she will give you the time you need.

[Aunt Kelly]

It sounds like things are already at the point where she deserves to know. Do not delay "the talk".

[kimdl93]

Desperation is an unappealing feature and can cloud ones judgement. While you may be lonely, that is not a good foundation for a relationship. Try to temper your desire for companionship with a realistic assessment of pros and cons.

I totally concur with the others who counsel against a quick move in. I would strongly suggest continued living separately for a good long while. There is no rush.

[Dutchess]

I don't visit as much as I used too, but glad I did today as this is almost an emergency ..

Cding aside yes you should tell her now but ...

Please do not let anyone into your home without knowing them first .. the world has really changed and not in a good way over the last 47 years since you dated last .. things are not the same . People are not the same .

I get that you are lonely .. the love of my life died 5.5 years ago from HRT and I don't know that I will ever have anyone in my life again because of how rough things are out there .. yes I am lonely but I do other activities to be able to meet people in real life . I've met a couple of guys in real life and after knowing them a month or so am grateful I did not let them move in . Nor would I ever think of moving in with someone Id never met in real life . That's very dangerous .

Regular people have been shying away from dating apps for a good while now because they are usually full of people looking for a hook up or money somehow .. and you are just right ( ripe) for that ... you are an older widower who is lonely . As a female person I would not use online dating at all .

You need to know her at least 6 months before you let anyone into your home ..ever ... and thats a pretty short period of time also . Go visit each other .. really check each other out .

Please do not start off asking peoples sizes and buying them clothes until you know them .. this opens you up and makes you vulnerable . You are showing them your wallet . Keep to cards , flowers and candy, the movies etc etc .. .. nothing super expensive . I've been an adult entertainer for 42 years and I know how to relieve you of your money before you even know what happened and I also know how people are and I don't want to see you broke .

I want you to read Nancy's post 10 times over then read it again . You stand to lose everything you have worked for in your life when waiting a few months and really getting to know this lady is all you have to do . We don't go bonkers over clothing like that .. it just tells me how much cash you have to spend . Keep your cards close to your chest until you really know the other person .

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Wendy :hugs: See line #4 in my Signature, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

[jazmine]

For me. When I met the girl that stole my heart away, and I knew I was going to ask her to marry me one day; I had to tell her!
...My crossdressing wasn't the first thing i shared about myself. It was one of the last, and it was about six months in. Out of respect, and to give her that "easy-way-out" before seriousness & the legalities of marriage, I told her that I was a crossdresser. For many women, that is a deal-breaker.
Well, she told me I could wear her shoes anytime I wanted (unfortunately her feet are bigger than mine),
....and here we are, better than ever, married 17 years latter!

It may suck to watch them walk away, but you have to let them know about such an integral part of yourself before things become super serious.
That's my take.

[Robin777]

I see Red flags flying all over the place. I absolutely understand what you are going through. I lost my supportive wife to complications from a kidney transplant last June. I went through a lot with her the previous 3 years. Lots of medical stuff. I miss her and I know you miss your wife. I plan on jumping back into the dating pool, but I'm going to do it through old friends and relatives. I get lots of beautiful women liking my posts and wanting me to contact them. I know it's all scams. I have been contacted by old classmates and maybe I will get together with them. If I was you I would meet this woman at a neutral location and get to know her and meet her friends before I would invite her to stay with you. Otherwise having her find out you are a crossdresser may be the least of your worries. You may want to run a background check.

[Fiona_44]

Wendy,

I agree with most of the other posts. Something does not smell right here.

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Wendy, I wish nothing but the best for you, but my Spidey senses are tingling. I have run into a few really bad people (extortion and threats of exposure) on fb, and I don?t look around much. I am also a landlord and evictions even from your own home can be a nightmare. Ask to access her camera on her laptop or phone and have a video chat with her before proceeding. There is a lot of good advice here. I sincerely hope you have found another pearl to share your life with. Brenda

[CeCe]

Wendy, you are looking to reveal, but you need the same from this other person. Why is this person ready to relocate with a stranger? This does not seem like someone in their right mind.
Is this someone who is looking for citizenship and then will say goodbye? Is she a criminal? Is she psychotic? She may have found a sucker who believes all her lies.
Wendy, we wish you the best, but you have been weakened by your pain. You have become vulnerable to even more pain by engaging with a possible con artist.

[Robin777]

Wendy,

I tried private messaging you this, but your inbox is full so I put it on the thread . Hopefully this is ok to post here . Otherwise I understand if the admin takes it off.


I understand what you are going through. I lost my wife June 2022 to a failed kidney transplant. Three years to the month she ended up in the hospital with sepsis that killed her kidneys. I almost lost her then. I went through hell and back for the 3 years afterwards. She had plenty of other medical issues in those 3 years . I know you are lonely. We never had children so the only real support I have gotten the whole time is my niece who lives close by. She is my sister in laws daughter.

If your grief for your wife is not resolved , I went to grief training at night once a week for several months which helped me resolve my issues. https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/ . It helped me a lot. A co worker of my niece recommended the course. this is a link to find a specialist in your area. https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/legacy-specialist-search?geo_distance%5Borigin%5D=wadsworth%2C+ohio&geo_distance%5Bradius%5D=25

Here is what the woman that gave the course has to say about it. I was looking for a course for my other niece.

thanks for "talking up" the GRM - just be sure they know it's NOT counseling - but a class... with a book and even homework.

We have specialists like me and Vicki all over Ohio. You can click here to see a list of those within 25 miles of Wadsworth. There are many in the Akron/Canton area.

Or - there are also some of our folks who are trained to do the program online too - via zoom. I like the in person option best but if there's no one close enough - the online option might be good. I can share some references for online people too - again, there are many.

So - feel free to share the link to the directory - or let me know if there's someone that might look compatible with your family's needs.

again, thanks for sharing the word!

I highly recommend this . It helped me.

I just don't want you to do something you will regret.

Robin

[Cheryl T]

Be honest and tell her. Now is the time before things go too far, then she will think you were lying to her and that's worse.

[Holly]

Wendy, we go back a long time together. You know better.

[ronny0]

Hate to see this on the 6 pm news cast.....
Lots of red flags about this.
What 'normal' woman would want to move in with someone they have never seen face to face........
IMO you are headed for nothing but trouble. Cool down and get to know one another.
Once she is 'living in your house' it could take years and years plus big bucks to get her out....

[Stephanie47]

I don't mean to appear like a "Debbie Downer but you're at a vulnerable age. Seniors are ripe at an age to be ripped off. Did you ever consider this woman has not investigated you to see if you're an easy mark. Sure, telling a love interest you're a serious cross dresser is a given. However, do you really know who this woman is and is not. "I desperately needed this to work." indicates you're lonely. For the life of me I wonder why any woman would move into any guys home without knowing him? Once she is in the door will you be able to get rid of her if the relationship goes south?

[Diane P]

Wendy, I have to agree with everyone else. This throws up a TON of red flags! Please, Please be very cautious about this. My wife passed away Jul of last year and I might eventually find someone to spend time with. But I will be cautious and up front about crossdressing.

[Raven Skyy]

Oh Hun
DON'T do it ! 1st be honest about your crossdressing. 2nd if you let her move in Do you know how difficult it is to get her out if it doesn't work check the local and state laws. You might be in for a year or 2 of hell trying to get her out. Common law is different in every state. I some states it's as easy as discussing marriage and spending the night under the same roof.
Get her a apartment nearby or hotel. Never in your house until she knows everything and you know everything you need to know to feel secure.

My grandfather used to say better to be alone than in bad company.

[Di]

Wendy ?
Hope things are ok.
It’s been a minute since you told us the news and many here voiced concern.
Update please

[Maria 60]

Well it seems like since your not responding to your messages must mean you don't like what you are reading and probably made up your mind already. This community has helped me see things on the other hand more then once and saved me from some maybe unsafe situations. I don't know if you have children but if you do what would tell them in this situation. As a parent and a member of this community I believe the advice would we know your hurting about your lose but maybe take things slow and have her stay for a weekend or a week and then see if she's wife and Wendy worthy. I don't know you and I don't know the big picture on how you have developed so much trust so fast so I believe you must have had some intense conversations.
Not to say that all internet meetings are bad I was a best man for a friend just a few weeks ago that he meet his wife on line. But this is a big BUT, they dated for 5 years before first. I don't blame everyone here for raising the red flag but it really is a sign of a community who do care and we are watching out for each other.