Ever thrown back at you?

[Sabine Janus]

This is for the DADT/Not entirely accepting crowd.

So for those who have disclosed your "Hobby" to a spouse not enthusiastic about it. . .

During disagreements, is it every thrown back at you during the argument?

SJ

[Crissy 107]

No not during disagreements but she will make a snide remark occasionally, not that subtle, that she does not understand guys wanting to be girls. This happened a couple of days ago. I just let it go right over my head.

[Connie D50]

Yes Yes and again Yes

[Karren H]

Only all the time! For the last almost 20 years or so. But it is ok with her that our son is gay and his partner came out trans and is transitioning! NIMBY!

[Davina2833]

Sabina Janus,

Sometimes during discussions or just randomle.

Crissy, is right!

Agree w/you Karren...

Davina

[GretchenM]

Very rarely. We don't argue about it or much of anything else. She understands that I have a sizeable bit of a female-like portion to my identity. But that doesn't mean she has to like it and I don't expect that either. She knows there are things about her that I don't care for either. We don't always agree on some things, but we do try hard to understand and not try to change each other. There are limits but we make an effort to not go there and after 54 1/2 years have found that works best.

[Kelli_cd]

I have 2 sons - 1 is gay, the other just told us he's bi (but prefers women).
And I'm a freak because I like to wear panties and bras.

[Crissy 107]

Karren is correct, NIMBY
Kelli, I totally understand what you are saying

[ShelbyDawn]

Been divorced for eleven years and she still brings it up.

[CharlotteCD]

Nope. It's never mentioned in discussions positive or negative. It simply doesn't exist in spoken form.

[Jane G]

We rarely argue, can't remember the last time. What we have learned to do instead is compromise and get on with life. My wife is in London with our daughter today. I am off to Snowdonia to climb mountains tomorrow. Today I can dress as I like, much as I have for the past week whilst she was in Greece with a friend. Too busy enjoying our lives, be it together or with friends, to have time to argue about stuff.

It was mentioned than my lips were rather pink and could I give them an extra wipe, when we went out for a meal together yesterday.

[BTWimRobin]

Not recently. She has thrown it in my face on many occasions.

[Sandi Beech]

Not recently, but yes it has happened to me. It is called the kitchen sink effect.

. . . And another thing . . .

Fortunately it has not happened in a long time because I stopped forcing CD on her. Out of sight, out of mind.

Sandi

[krissysSecret]

I never had to deal with that when I was married. She didn’t know. We’ve been divorced for 30 years now..we share a son and would find it necessary to get together occasionally. At my sons wedding, she and I danced, started drinking some wine and started talking about the good times we had in our marriage. We talked for hours…she confessed some crazy secrets she had and I told her about my dressing.
It was pretty amusing with her remarks and they were not critical or mean…just funny. That was 15 years ago…
We stay in touch and she sends me a funny birthday card every year that has a crossdresser type theme…she asks if I bought myself a new dress..funny stuff like that ..if we’d been honest with each other way back when…we might still be married…lol

[docrobbysherry]

My ex threatened to mention it in court during our divorce.:sad:

I said, "Go ahead, but if u do I'll bring up the number of times u cheated on me!":devil:

[Steph_CD_62]

My ex-wife would on occasion when we really got into a heated argument.
And after our separation/divorce and after she moved out of state she was telling everyone she could about my hobby. I even had one guy call me from 1/2 across the USA to ask me if it was true.

[Taylor Dame]

No, not in arguments, but she very occasionally makes a remark in passing about dressing without referring to me. She doesn't want to see me dressed, but does allow me to wear panties everyday. On our recent vacation, she tolerated me buying a bra, skirt, and blouse when we were in Ross. We also discuss and critique women's fashions on people we see, and I give her input on clothing I think she would look good wearing. Small steps.

[Sometimes Steffi]

She doesn't say it but I can tell by the tone of her voice and the look on her face that she's thinking about it.

Thinking about it is almost worse, because you can't have a conversation about, "I know what you're thinking".

[Cheryl T]

I can honestly say No, she has never thrown it back at me.

[Jenniferr]

At first my wife was accepting and grew into participating. Once we started having kids, I became a “pervert”, but only during arguments. Knowing that I have a deep fear of abandonment because of my parents’ divorce when I was very young, she took advantage of that and coupled it with me being a pervert because of my crossdressing and she would divorce me for it, and it would come out in court, and our friends and family would find out. For the last 20 years we have been in DADT where if she ignores the crossdressing, it will go away. Others have alluded to NIMBY—my wife is very vocal and supportive of LGBTQ etc people. It’s just different when it’s your own spouse, I guess.

[EmilyShy]

No my wife hasn't and all I can say is if they do that's says more about them than it does you. There are things in everyone's personality that we don't like. I think the these people who say they accepting just NINBY are not really accepting at all and they just want the world to perceive that they are. They can close the door on them people and that way they don't have to deal with it. I know someone who is a proper homophobe but sits there and says he is all accepting. But watching his strong reactions when it comes on TV or such like is quite eye opening to see.

I get wives/SO need time to come to terms with CD and and a lot won't but for someone to share such a personal thing with someone should be respected (I'm mean the secret) not held to ransom for it. If you ask most people what they want out of a relationship it's Honesty so why punish someone for being honest. That's almost as bad as posting revenge porn to get back at someone
My wife don't like me crossdressing but she don't say anything either. Conversations about it are quickly changed, we are not DADT but not really accepting either, but have presented in front of her as well. If it got to the point of threatening to out me I'd just embrace it.

[Jillcder]

My wife is accepting of trans and gay people but I do fear the NIMBY effect when I do get the courage to tell her about my Crossdressing hobby. I can definitely see how my dressing could lead to some interesting comments while having a disagreement.

[Roxy]

This question truly hits home?
Quite often in arguments and just about any time she thinks it?s a relevant comparison to something she?s talking about in an unrelated subject

[Bianca Fay]

Unfortunately yes. When we were still married, my then-wife would constantly berate me during disagreements that had absolutely nothing to do with dressing.
At that point in my life I was only interested in wearing pantyhose but she would always slide that fact into every disagreement.
I remember a time when I wanted to go golfing with my friends and she got very upset (not sure why, because she and I didn't have plans together that day). During that argument she angrily said "You should wear your pantyhose - they might help your swing".
It was apparently her way of winning every argument just by mentioning that I liked wearing pantyhose. It was her trump card because even though it was totally irrelevant to the conversation, she knew my weakness

[Maria 60]

Of course she does. Her favourite is when I'm right and then she will end it with "I don't think your going to find to many women who will put up with what I do". I laugh at her not to show weekness but she's probably right.
Then i get the odd "don't get your panties in a knot" remarks or "maybe if you put on a skirt you can figure it out". I guess she has a ace in her hand and she will play it when it advantages her.

[Stephanie47]

When we had "The Talk" she said "If I wanted to be married to a woman, I would have married a woman" which was impossible back in the mid 1980's. During that conversation she said, if I ever wanted a divorce she would "out" me to everybody. Unless you know her family history that really makes no sense. Her mother was divorced twice and her grandmother was married five times. She wanted to break the cycle. One year around the storming we went to Mervyn's department store on my prodding to buy me panties for my birthday. I saw my wife trembling; literally becoming unable to function that I realized forcing/prodding my cross dressing on her was nothing short of mental spousal abuse. Hence forth, it was DADT. She does not say "boo" about it. On occasion when she has found a bra or panty I failed to put away, she folds it and places it out of sight on top of the dryer. I think over the decades she has figured out what cross dressing is and is not and it has nothing to do with infidelity, transitioning, etc.

[Debbie Denier]

The clothes leave or I leave. This actually happened to me.

[krissy]

My ex told all my male mechanic friends lost her and all friend's now i have been married to my current wife of 45 years she still cant stand this i hear about it any time she even sees a crossdresser.it sucks and hurts but what can you do i have been with her so long i don't see us going anywhere.:):):daydreaming: i still dress but its so boring all by myself.