The psychology of crossdressing: Why do you dress like a woman?

[marieclaire]

The psychology of crossdressing: Why do you dress like a woman?


You?ve probably considered seeking psychological help. ?I?m a man but I like feminine things. Why? Is this normal? Do I have to accept myself or ?cure? this??

We tend to naturally like some things and dislike others. Environmental aspects can also develop preferences or strongly influence us ? like a trigger.

In childhood, a boy who lives with his mother and sisters and does not have a father figure present may have a greater tendency to be attracted to the feminine side. For example: having more feminine behaviors or being more curious to try something of the opposite sex.

Another boy might notice a stray pair of panties is more attractive?whether it?s the fabric or the pattern than his drab underwear. He may try on such panties and simply enjoy the experience. Another example is finding a princess dress to be much more attractive than a male superhero costume.

Another boy may might be pushed into crossdressing out of his will?like an older sister who dresses him as a girl for fun or his mother who puts him in a dress for a costume party or other event. Once they have contact with this experience, they may come to enjoy doing it and feel the desire to repeat it.

In adolescence, the process of growth and puberty, from hormones to the appearance of hair and breasts, enhances the difference between boys and girls.

A boy who notices girls at school starting to wear bras might be curious and want to try one on.

The boy tries on the bra and likes the feeling of wearing one. Perhaps, too, he feels a sexual stimulus ? remember that in adolescence hormones skyrocket.

If he likes the experience, he will tend to repeat it. He will want to have his own bras and adopt them in his daily life.

In adult life, a man who is not satisfied with his masculine personality ? such as having little muscle or not being successful with women ? may try to compensate for this in other ways.

He will be able to develop a feminine personality by dressing like a woman.

Aside from a possible sexual pleasure, he may enjoy the feeling of wearing lingerie, a dress, makeup, and a wig. He can look in the mirror and feel that his female presentation is truer than his male self. This could raise his self-esteem and help to overcome his need to compensate for the frustration caused by the failures on the male side.

If you are ? or are thinking of becoming ? an artist, you might develop an opposite-sex persona through crossdressing. If you like Womanless, you can become a reference in this segment. The internet can help you become an influencer through crossdressing: something that can be very productive, interesting, fun? and profitable.

There is a downside to this bias: Unless you identify as a transgender person, your feminine side will never replace your masculine one. You can explore your feminine persona, but that doesn?t stop you from developing as a man. You will not be able to be a woman 24 hours a day, nor will you be able to escape your masculine obligations at home and at work. Balance is the secret.

Many crossdressers reject the sexual component of this practice as others find sexual pleasure in crossdressing; it is essential to understand this. In some instances, you may develop a harmful compulsion, not having control over your desires, and even potentially expose yourself to dangerous situations. This could become unhealthy and require professional help.

Another positive point is learning skills that may become useful. Learning more about women?s clothing can help you in a loving relationship. Situations such as choosing clothes as a gift for a girlfriend or learning about makeup could allow you to work as a makeup artist. Crossdressing can develop your empathy with the opposite sex: perhaps the time your wife takes to get ready is not as time-consuming as you once thought.

Crossdressing can also combat stress: if you enjoy doing it, it can relax and give you pleasure ? I don?t mean sexual pleasure, but the pleasure of doing something you enjoy. It may even serve as an escape when practiced in a healthy way

If you still don?t know why you like to dress as a woman, look for those elements in your life that could justify or support this preference. Therapy ? or even self-therapy and self-knowledge ? can be key.

Some questions you can ask yourself: 1) Have I always liked women?s clothing? 2) I was influenced by the environment or other people. 3) Do I think women?s clothes are more beautiful than men?s? 4) Do I feel sexual pleasure when dressing like a woman? Only that? 5) Do I use crossdressing to compensate for social, physical, and other failures on my male side? 6) What have I learned, or can I learn from crossdressing? 7) Can I be successful by dressing like a woman? 8) Is my crossdressing healthy? 9) Do I feel shame, guilt, or remorse when I crossdress? 10) Did the lack of a male figure in childhood influence me?

Having answers to these and other questions is essential for the healthy practice of crossdressing. Unhealthy crossdressing will lead to impulses, guilt, regrets, regrets, and other social, physical, emotional, and financial losses.

? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?

? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?

? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?

[Michaela Jane]

In answer to your questions....

? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? YES

? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? NO

? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? NO

Yes, I have wondered why but I have no answers, I didn't start dressing until I was over 50. All I know is that I like the clothes. In general, I look like the guy I am supposed to look like to family & in public, even though my clothes are from the womens department. On my own, which is most of the time, I am dressed as a woman, and I feel weird when I have to leave my bra & forms off.

[docrobbysherry]

Marie, the therapist I went asked, "Is your crossdressing causing u problems in your life?" At that time I wasn't all that involved in it so I answered, "No'. So she said, "Then, let's move on to your problems." End of discussion!

If u r having problems caused by your dressing than an experienced therapist mite help u. If it's not causing problems, then much of your mullings could be u over thinking it?:straightface:

[kimdl93]

I have been through therapy. Although the purpose was not to diagnose why I was the way I was, the subject did come up.

One thing to be cautious about is trying to infer some casual relationship between cross dressing and childhood recollection(s). First of all, all memories are reconstructions, and each memory evolves with each recollection. Secondly, any individual may see a connection between some recalled life experience and cross dressing. Even if there were some causal link, this might only apply to that individual case. For example, I grew up in a household that was mostly made up of males.

human beings are inherently wired to see patterns. The value is that our ancestors might have perceive patterns that helped remember signs of prey or places of ambush, which foods were in season, which berries were not poisonous. But we also have the built in capacity to imagine spurious patterns, to see relationships and to believe deeply in the validity such spurious connections.

I guess what I am cautioning against is what used to be called “arm chair empiricism”. Basically generating theory out of one’s speculations. Such theorizing may be interesting, but it is lacking in substance.

A competent therapist will not attempt to discern “why” from your life experiences, but as Sherry said, they will seek to help you cope with any problems that your attitude or your partner’s attitude towards cross dressing might be contributing to (if any).

[NancySue]

Interesting thread. Question answers:
1. Why? I?ve been wondering that since youth. Pleasure, comfort, makeup, heels, etc.
2. Childhood influence? Yes, definitely. It?s always been a question, initially, why was I so attracted to just nylon stockings that I just had to put them on? Why not a bra, panties, slip, which all came later. The pink fog? Genetics?
3. Therapy? Not with a professional, but tons of reading, research, talking with my with, etc. one could say is my form of therapy. The dam broke when I and my beautiful wife accepted it as part of me.

[Debs]

Wow Marieclaire thats a lot of deep thinking for me, can I not just enjoy my dressing as a woman without really having to interigate myself and destroy an amazing mystery that makes me feel so great.

[Fiona_44]

I really have no idea why I crossdress. But at this point in my life (retired, living full time as a woman) I really don't care. I am glad I dress as a woman and wouldn't have it any other way.

[Diane P]

Marieclaire,

To answer your questions

? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? NO

? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? NO

? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? NO

My simple answer for myself is that I dress like a woman because it feels right, normal and natural. Read into that what you will.

[JesseVF]

1. Yes - totally surprised that anyone would answer no to this question - but that just demonstrates how this is a different experience for everyone.
2. I have wondered about this as grew up in a female dominated childhood (very dominant mother, three older sisters, one older gay brother, introverted father) - although my therapist tells me this is not really a root cause regarding CD - not sure I totally agree.
3. Yes - helpful in dealing with the usual (for some) shameful type feelings.

[Heather76]

1. Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? Not really. I just know I thoroughly enjoy every minute I'm dressed and/or underdressed.

2. Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? While I did wear my mom's bras and girdles on rare occasions for about 4 ears, I don't know if it was a major factor in why I CD now.

3. Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? I'm not certain there is anything to find out about it. I CD, I'm happy with doing it, I'm fortunate my wife is understanding, I feel no guilt or shame, and am not at all conflicted with the fact I enjoy being Heather at every opportunity.

[BaliGirl]

For what is it worth - I've done a whole bunch of therapy in the past.

I never talked about my crossdressing in therapy, because of shame and embarrassment. I know - I should have trusted my therapist with my "darkest secret". I just couldn't make that step.

It took a couple of years after I restarted crossdressing before I could even write on a public board "I'm a crossdresser". Because for many years I told myself "I'm not one of those people". That's severe denial and judgement going on in my head.

Fortunately, I found crossdressers.com, and I've accepted myself as a crossdresser. But to this day, I only talk about my crossdressing here, because people here are accepting.

The only benefit I'd get now out of therapy would be to try to maybe get other people in my life to accept my crossdressing.

Marieclaire, thanks for your post. It helps for me to think about and write about this stuff. It is currently my only outlet.

[mbmeen12]

Very interesting post and thought out....good luck in gathering information and finding assistance, secondly welcome to site.

[Karren H]

Do not really know why, do not really care why, anymore. Knowing would not have changed anything in my life to date or change anything going forward. So, I have plenty of other conundrums to contemplate before I leave, like why are underwires always on the bottom of a bra? And why no one has made an upper wire? Or a circular wire? Lol.

[Sabine7]

Very interesting questions. I could't resist to answer them.
1) Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? Yes, I have wondered many times in the past and I am still doing that almost daily. Only the answers are different recently and I don't feel guilty any more.
2) Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? Yes, it's highly possible. I do not also exclude a hormonal issue during the pre-natal period.
3) Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? No. I haven't. I don't expect I would benefit of that. Especially, if someone would try healing me.

[Debbie Denier]

There is no definitive answer . I still to this day dont know why. Driven myself crazy wondering. Come to the point of paralysis by analysis.

[BLUE ORCHID]

There are two kinds of Trerapist,

The one that tells you what you want to Hear,

The one that tells your Wife what she wants to Hear,

[alwayshave]

Admittedly, when younger I cared why I crossdressed. I thought if I knew why I could stop. I no longer care why, it's just part of who I am.

[Gillian Gigs]

Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? Too many times to count.

Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? Yes, my Mum was strong dynamic person, as well as a feminist, two much older sisters and a Dad who was a railroader, (gone for periods of time). An often used punishment was being dressed in panties, and/or other girls clothes.

Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? Yes, it was later in life, as a mature adult. Neither of them made a big deal about CD'ing.

1. Around age 10 I returned to start wearing lingerie on my own and enjoyed it. 2. It was from my early childhood that led me back to the clothes. 3. Women's clothes are nicer to wear than men's. 4. For many years sexual pleasure was the biggest reason for wearing the clothes. 5. Mostly for stress relief in my past years. 6. Really it is only clothing, I'm still the same person. 7. Maybe, but I don't think about it that way. 8. Now that I am older it is not about sex anymore, but about the simple enjoyment of doing something I like to do. 9. Shame, guilt and remorse are in the past where they belong. 10. My dad didn't take any interest in me until I was a teen. Then it was all about doing what he liked, hunting, fishing, and going to sports events. Unfortunately too much water had gone under the bridge, it was a weak relationship with too many bad memories.

These are all valid questions that I also have thought about. There is nothing wrong with self introspection, if we had more people doing this, the world would be a better place.

[Sandi Beech]

For me it is this.

Do or do not. There is no why.

I learned that from Yoda ; )

But seriously I do not know why I started, but I know why I keep doing it. Just read my posts. Haha. It is a LOT of fun.

Sandi

[Stephanie47]

Why? I use to wonder all the time why I liked or needed to dress like a woman. It makes no sense that a man would voluntarily endure all the negativity associated with being a cross dresser.

Was I influenced in childhood or adolescence? Nobody forced or encouraged me to try on women's clothing which was basically my mother's clothing. I did not have a sister or female cousins or even female playmates. I was a rough and tumble little boy and adolescence who loved playing all sports, climbing trees, playing with cap guns (1950's was the time of westerns). The only other small suggestion borders on prior life experience as a young woman when I was really really young.

Therapy? Nope.

[nvlady]

"Have you ever wondered why you like to dress as a woman?"
As far as I'm concerned, this is the only question that is relevant. I firmly believe it is genetic. I was born this way. I was born with blue eyes, and brown hair, and a desire to wear women's clothes.

[Free shee]

I tried therapy back in my 30's and as another member mentioned, opening up totally with a therapist proved to be a little too daunting for me. It's not easy opening up and I admire those that can/have.

My best guess is I started as a hope of safety from an abusive older stepbrother that seemed to leave my sisters alone. My behaviors associated with it throughout life have at times proven to be problematic, but I also think it helped develop me into a better person, compulsive behaviors be damn.

Over the years I've found stress to be a trigger for increases in desires for me to crossdress. It seems to have gone full circle and come back to a sense of safety, or at least a little piece and serenity. Stressed from work or things in life, paint my toenails, nice and easy to hide, like underdressing. Shaving legs not so much but being a cyclist helped. Now that I'm in the Michigan U.P. it's a non issue, pants to ward off the bugs or the cold.

It's interesting to me that I can pigeon hole myself into just about every paragraph of the original post. When all said and done, do I really understand it or just accept it and does it matter?

[Sabine7]

I do dress like a woman whenever I only can and need. That means, I do whenever I am alone. I prefer female clothes because this is part of me. I think my brain was biologically formatted to be the female one. I grew up as a boy beeing taught to be a man but that little girl and mature woman now is still there hidden behind judging external world. I wish I was born a woman. Since the childhood, as far as I remember, I was dreaming and fantasizing about beeing the woman. I think dressing is a method to become one. Interestingly, when in a man mode I do live like the man leading a satisfying family life.
I have read about certain species of fishes (more than 450 found) that can fit (change) their sex, meaning reproduction capability here, to a partner met.
It looks like nature knows similar situations...
Sabine

[IJCCharlotte]

1) Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? Yes, it's what led me to this forum, and I'm learning a lot about my experience both through what I have in common with others and what I don't. But, like other people have said, I don't believe there's an "Aha!" moment for me where it will all make sense. At the end of the day, I don't know why. I may never know why. But I know I enjoy it and there's nothing for me to be ashamed of.

2) Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? Yes, but only in the sense that I began exploring it voluntarily in adolescence. Again, I don't think there was a singular moment in my childhood that resulted in the birth of my desire to look like a woman. I think even without my early explorations, I would have still felt this desire as an adult.

3) Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? I'm in therapy currently, but I talk with my therapist about other subjects as well. As far as how it's going... see my answer to question #1. My therapist was very quick to say that this desire is not a pathology, there's nothing to "diagnose" or "treat" when it comes wanting to look like a woman. But she does want me to contemplate the possibility of being gay or bisexual. I've assured her multiple times that I've questioned this many times throughout my life (for various reasons, not just because of crossdressing), and I'm very comfortable and confident in saying that I am and have always been a heterosexual man. So all in all, my therapy experience (I've been seeing a therapist for about 7 months now) has been both reassuring but challenging at times, as well.

[Ressie]

I had a few experiences with girl's clothing when I was young that were a big influence. My sister's friends would always tell me I was cute. At 17 I emotionally wished that I was a female but I didn't really think I was born in the wrong body. My mom suggested therapy but she didn't push it, so I chose not to pursue it.

Why is it that some males have a curiosity of what it would be like to try on a female garment? At puberty, trying on a dress was very arousing (sexually). I tried eyeliner when I was around 18 which also turned me on, and there were lots of female clothes in the house. I would have dreams of being locked in a department store overnight with tons of women's clothes to try on! It's all been an emotional and sexual, life long experience...

[Claire M]

? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? All the time. I used to wonder how I could make it stop. Now I just wonder why it gives me such joy.

? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? I think so. I was the youngest of 5 with three older brothers, then my sister who was closer to my age. When dad and the boys went off to do "guy" stuff I was usually relegated to hanging with my sister because I was too young. I also heard quite frequently my parents tell the story that I was supposed to have been born a girl ... to the point the had no boys names even considered when I was born so I was "Baby M" for almost a week.

I will admit that I was that boy in the drab underwear who noticed a pair of my sister's panties on the bathroom floor. I still remember vividly seeing the color and print of the fabric and feeling the texture of the fabric and being almost overcome ... I HAD to know what it was like to wear them, even if I might get in trouble for doing so. I HAD to know. It was amazing and empowering. A few weeks later I HAD to know what wearing her bra felt like. Then pantihose, the a dress, then lipstick, then ....

? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? Twice. The first time was back in the early 90s and my wife had discovered my secret. I told her I would "get help". I went in wanting to be "cured" so I would never need to do this wierd and disgusting thing. He told me it was "just the way I was wired" and there was no "cure". I was positive this guy was a quack and never went back.

About 10 years ago I was in a very stressful work situation and found great calming when I dressed. I had learned a lot more about crossdressing since my first go round and was no wondering if going farther into transitioning was for me. We had some amazing discussions about my dressing, my gender and my life in general. I was able to find a calm satisfaction in just dressing and expressing my feelings as I needed to.

[KymG]

Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?
Yes, all the time, without ever coming to a conclusion. Apart from the fact that it feels fantastic.

Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?
No, but i recall i guy at school, who wore a dress for a play or something, and i remember being terrified for a long time that it might happen to me. Rather than just saying no, im not doing that.
Always wondered what i was scared of.

Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?
No not yet, but im close to doing so.

[BLUE ORCHID]

It's Just Who I Am, And it's just what I love to do, >Orchid**0:daydreaming:0**

[Erin Lafleur]

Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?
Yes, often. But I really don't dwell on the question. I do know that I really enjoy it and I'm now at the stage of life (empty nester etc.) where I feel that I'm catching up for so much lost time and feeling wonderfully free to explore my feminine side. I really couldn't feel more genuine than I do now...

Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?
Yes, most definitely. As I've mentioned often, my first foray into cross dressing was at a very young age (5-6 years old), where I first tried on Mom's panties, slips etc. I knew then, at a very early age, that it felt really good and lo and behold, nothing has changed in six decades since. Except for the fact that I have now spent a small fortune on clothes, make-up, wigs etc and intend to live out my life indulging in a past time that is incredibly pleasing to me.


Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?
Nope, and I never will. I'm OK with it. To me, it would be like seeing a therapist to understand why I enjoy model railroads, (if that was the case, it isn't... no offence to those that do of course). I really don't understand why the gender question enters into it and why that is perhaps worthy of therapy. I simply enjoy it. No explanations or justifications necessary...

[DianeT]

As a child I found superhero costumes much more interesting than princess dresses, I craved for some Superman's mojo like flying up to the skies.
Then I discovered superheroines in superheroine costumes. Ok. Wow. Different kind of mojo. This is about when it started.

[Johnjo]

After almost 60 years cross dressing it remains something of a mystery to me. We are all different and that?s just fine - I finally have made peace with it and feel happy in my own skin.

[Christina89]

Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?
I used to wonder why it happened when I was younger, but as I got older I realized it's who I was and accepted it.

Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?
Yes I did. My mother was a single and a family moved in across the street from us and we all connected well. They also had 2 daughters and before back we would all go shopping together and I saw the styles of clothing they got wear and I used to get jealous and would sometimes ask if I could get those instead of the boy clothes and was told no because they were for girls and not boys.

Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?
No I haven't, but I have looked into possibly doing it.

[Bea_]

[B]

? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?

? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?

? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?

Why? - I've always had a somewhat feminine aesthetic which only extended to the things i like to wear within the last fifteen or so years

Influence? - I went through adolescence in the late sixties and early seventies when things became much more androgynous than they are these days. My mom and sister never wore anything that appealed to my taste so I never really had any temptation to experiment back then.

Therapy? - Yes. For me, therapy has been a way to consolidate a sense of identity which includes my feminine aesthetic with the goal to move past the tension that exists between me and the "real world". It's been partially successful so far.

[jacques]

hello Marieclaire,
Sorry, but I am a little concerned about you dividing crossdressing into "healthy" and "unhealthy".
I hope that we don't judge members of this Group in that way.
luv J

[marieclaire]

hello Marieclaire,
Sorry, but I am a little concerned about you dividing crossdressing into "healthy" and "unhealthy".
I hope that we don't judge members of this Group in that way.
luv J

Don't worry: What I mean is that EVERYTHING in life can be healthy or not. Depends on the context.
Some healthy things may cease to be healthy if consumed excessively or inappropriately, for example.

[Geena75]

As a child in a very traditional home in a small rural setting, anything that would be construed as 'sexual' was suppressed. Still, a TV diet of things like the June Taylor dancers on Jackie Gleason, or women's figure skaters caught my fascination. I was so attracted to their look -- and legs. Then, the occasional person in drag would pop up (sometimes very convincing), and my curiosity took on another dimension -- could I look good? After decades of partial dressing and under-dressing I discovered the forum and realized that my feelings were shared by many others, and I found ways to dress more until I finally went all the way with makeup and wig, etc. and stepped out in public. Having done so, I satisfied so much of my curiosity -- questions of how I could look, and what it would feel like were answered.

What now? I came to the conclusion that what appeals to me is that it is interesting (so much to learn and try), exciting (stepping out as a different person), and fun (dropping so many inhibitions). As long as I find it interesting, exciting, and fun, I will keep doing it, if on a occasional basis.

[DrFishnets]

I dress like a woman because I have anxiety and panic disorder and the feel of women?s clothes especially nylons and pantyhose make me feel grounded. There is no other feeling that is so sensual and sexy as tight nylon of stockings and tights/pantyhose around the feet legs and bottom. I also dress because it makes me feel sexy and happy.

[Monique65]

I gave up trying to figure out why years ago. Now I just enjoy the experience.

[Lacey New]

For me , it was an addicting behavior. I was attracted to girls and what they wore particularly the lingerie that hid the secrets of their bodies. So, the first time I put on a pair of panties, it was an instant rush. You know what happened. And because it was so exciting, I would go back for more. Afterward, I would feel guilty and ashamed and vowed not to do it again. I wondered if it meant I was gay even though the idea of sex with a male was not appealing. But after awhile, the urge would come back and I?d go back to the panties. Eventually, out on my own I amassed my own collection of lingerie. Like potato chips, you cannot eat just one, so, if panties were good, they were better with a bra and other lingerie as well. I never had any kind of tharapy and I just eventually learned that it is part of who I am. Thankfully, due to as much research as I could do and sites like this, I learned that I am simply a cross dresser among many. Perhaps not quite normal by some standards, but certainly not unusual either.

[AllieBellema]

I have no explanation for it other than I just enjoy the chance to break away from my reality to be something I'm not full time as. No better way for me to explain it, I guess.

[jacques]

Don't worry: What I mean is that EVERYTHING in life can be healthy or not. Depends on the context.
Some healthy things may cease to be healthy if consumed excessively or inappropriately, for example.

Hello Marieclaire,
OK. I understand. Cream cakes are nice. Too many cream cakes are sickly.
luv J

[sometimes_miss]

I don't want to fill up the forum with duplicate posts, so my answer to this thread, can be found in the other 'why do we CD' thread, here: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?283004-Why-we-CD
at post #49.
Hopefully, it will help answer your question. As always, feel free to PM me with any questions.

[mbmeen12]

Well stated sometimes_miss. My initial post, I did do the research on this question and found numerous iderations but decided to answer politely stated " great question" and it is. To even look at ones profile to see previous questions posed to the forum. How often folks are on the site etc. I'm also super leary of data collected for gender studies and health privacy act questions for gender studies etc etc.

I propose this, if someone asks similar asked questions. They should do the research and post statistics from previous posts closed of years past and then see how it trends over the years/decades. That would be really be an awesome post. Just saying �� Ball is your court Miss Claire on your question challenge....

[audreyinalbany]

What is a mu question?
In Japanese and Korean “mu” means, “nothing,” “without,” “not,” “impossible,” “non-existent.” We answer, “mu” when a question does not have an answer. Or makes us answer in a way that is not true, not possible
It leaves the question in void and it is up for the questioner to reflect upon themselves.

[Cheryl T]

I used to spend a lot of time analyzing this.
I don't anymore, I have accepted myself. This is who I am, who I am supposed to be and who I will always be.
As the signature says.... I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes.
I feel more real, more comfortable, more natural the way you all see me. This is me.

[JackieD]

I remember my first time in panties.. You know it wrong . If someone finds out you will be the laughing stock of the neighborhood. BUT you just could not stop yourselve. Just so excited to be wearing them. Had to and keep them on for the rest of the day. You somehow knew you were hooked. Taking my wife?s old panties. Latter on getting my own. Love Jockey no pantie line panties.

[jjjjohanne]

? Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman?
Of course.

? Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence?
There was a boy in my neighborhood. His swing set had spots on it. We would press the spots like they were buttons. It would make us sing. Sometimes we used to sing about poop. Sometimes we would sing about pantyhose. I don't remember any other topics. I don't know which of us started the pantyhose thing. I never had any attraction to poop, but I did eventually try on silky ladies' things. Years later, his brother told me that my friend was caught wearing a pair of pantyhose. I really have doubts whether all 100% of people are "born this way". I wonder if lots of people are this way or that way based on one or more experiences in their childhood. The first time I can remember trying on women's clothes was when I was wearing a pair of thigh-high stockings when I was very little (3-4). I'm pretty sure they were around my ankles the whole time. The next memory was when I put a pair of Barbie's red panties on my big toe. I remember feeling good about getting to do that.

? Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it?
I went through a bout of anxiety about work. It messed me up. It was hard to go to work. It was hard to face life for a while. My doctor sent me to a counselor. I decided to admit right away to my counselor that I was a crossdresser. Eventually, I started going to our sessions in a dress. We discussed it some. She never tried to change that part of me. For the most part, she trained me to detect when I am starting to become anxious. I learned to watch for certain phrases, such as "I don't want to let you down." That's my sign that I am worrying. Then, she taught me some techniques to work my way out of anxiety if I get into a spell of anxiety. She was a big help. I recommend it.

[MarinaTwelve200]

It started as an erotic aid to masturbation for me. I noticed that some feminine things like makeup, nylon hose, etc. somehow "excited" me as early as 8 years old. I was 12 when I first tried Mom's lipstick (when she was away , of course). by age 14 I was dressing fully, when left alone with enough time. I began to realize that cross dressing had OTHER pleasures than me simply "getting off" on it. One, in particular was that I could completely disassociate myself from "Me".--- That is it permitted me to "take a vacation from myself" and become a completely "different person" where even my gender was different. This let me release "stress" totally--- Those associated with my OWN concerns and those associated with simply being a male as well. It was (and still is) the ULTIMATE form or "unwinding' and stress relief. Yes it STILL has an erotic element there, but the "relaxation" (and the great feeling of being pretty) is what kept me going.

I was initially concerned when I started, as to whether CD was "Gay" or not, for as we all know, all sorts of inaccurate stories and definitions were floating around back then (And still now , in many circles) But, being a "Book kid" I studied Psychology books on my own and discovered what "gay" (Homosexual) really meant, and it was NOT me. Neither was Transsexuality.--- A really big load of my mind, there. I had a fetish for women's clothing was all-- I could get excitement from it. NO big deal, really, I didn't go out in public and risk humiliation and didn't dress all that much anyways. Indeed, it reenforced my "masculine" confidence as CD's were defined as HETEROSEXUAL people who could get pleasure from wearing the clothing of the opposite sex.

[stefaniec]

It's a rather simple answer for me. As a man, I know what traits I find feminine and attractive. Seeing that those traits are less common lately, I adopted the persona myself. And there has been no shortage of compliments and flattery to indicate that other men share my outlook on what makes the female form attractive, regardless if there happens to be a male physique in the bra, nylons, and heels.

[Robin777]

To answer your questions

Have you ever wondered why you like to dress like a woman? Yes

I wondered when I first started dressing when I was 12 or 13 and I started getting attracted to women's lingerie and clothing It took me a couple of years to figure it out. Then I realized I felt that I was born the wrong gender.

Do you believe you were influenced in childhood or adolescence? Yes
Growing up having your mother say on multiple occasions that when I was born that I was supposed to be a girl. When I got older I started wanting to be a girl.

Have you ever had any kind of therapy to find out more about it? No.

My simple answer for myself is that I dress like a woman because it satisfies a need in me to express my feminine side. I wanted to transition when I was younger, but that was 50 years ago and it wasn't accepted and understood at that time.

[AndreaOTK]

Very interesting thread.

In my case,i started crossdressing because i loved my girlfriend in boots, after we broke up, i did not find another girl for some months so i decided to buy myself some high heel boots. I tried them and i started to enjoy buying more boots and becoming like another person, not just a woman but a bit more kinky reasons.

Therefore i have never been influenced by my childhood or adolescence and never had therapy related to this.

[Georgina]

I dress like a woman because I like women's clothes. I was influenced, at school, by young women in petticoats and stockings and I do not need therapy.

[Jade P]

I was either born with a feminine side or developed the need to feel feminine as a young boy. I started with secretly wearing my mothers pantyhose and makeup in the bathroom at the age of 10. I am out to my wife and at one time I went to a therapist about my gender issues. I accept and love being feminine. I mostly underdress daily in pantyhose and panties. Also wear nightgowns and lipstick in private. I understand people may judge and not accept me and thats their right, I also have a right to be who I am.

[StacyG]

I was born with a cleft palette and always felt unattractive. When I tried on my sister's pretty panties for the first time, it was arousing and I associated the panties with sex. Back in the 70's and 80's, the Sunday paper had all the adverts for all the stores and I would look at all the women and girls ads for panties and bras and satin things and I wanted to be pretty and feel they way i thought they felt in those things. I wanted to be attractive.
Some would say i have a satin fetish, but women's clothing is much prettier than men's .

I wasn't influenced by anyone. There were 5 of us at home and none of us interacted with each other. Isolated at school most of the time.