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nancy58
10-24-2023, 10:32 PM
Today I passed another milestone in my trans journey: I went to see my optometrist dressed as Nancy. By pure coincidence, my wife is out of town, and for the last year or so, my practice has been to dress en femme any time she is out of town, for the duration of her trip. Ever so slowly, I've gathered the courage to go about my business as much as possible on days that I dress up. So, today, I was planning to dress up, and oh, I had an optometrist appointment.

I was full of apprehension this morning. I needed to be at the optometrist's office at 12:15, and our housekeeper, who knows nothing about Nancy, was due to arrive at 12:30. Sometimes she comes early, and so, in addition to worrying about how I would be treated at my appointment, I was worried that she might arrive as I was leaving (or before). But she didn't come early today.

At the office, I gave only my last name to the receptionist. He said my paperwork was complete and directed me to have a seat. He didn't ask to see my ID -- a driver's license with 'X' for sex, a photo of a bald guy, and a male name. He had noted the discrepancy between my female presentation and the paperwork, though, and he came over a few minutes later and asked if I would like a different name on my file. I was overcome by the kindness of this gesture.

The rest of the support staff treated me as if there was nothing unusual about me. As the optometrist was finishing my exam, I told her how much I had appreciated my treatment by her staff and explained that it was the first time I had been to see a medical professional dressed as Nancy. She said something congratulatory and gave me a big hug. Out front, they gave me my bill and my prescriptions, both with "Nancy" and my last name on them. I am official, now. They will still bill my insurance using my legal name.

In the way of icing on the cake, I came back after work to look at eyeglass frames, and I explained to the optician how I need frames that look good whether I am presenting as female or male. She was completely on board, and after taking a bunch of selfies of my femme face, she was fine with the idea of me coming back in a couple of days dressed as a man to try them on again.

Once again, a little bit of kindness toward me has filled me with profound gratitude.

NjJamie
10-24-2023, 11:20 PM
Nancy, so awesome! I believe you and your journey is the best way forward for all of us, from the once a decade CD to the full transition TG. Just going about your life with a smile and a polite demeanor will be rewarded by days like yours, we can all only hope to see such acceptance in our lives.

Zoeytgtx
10-24-2023, 11:44 PM
Nancy:

Your story makes me wonder if I could be treated with the same kindness and curtesies on my next ophthalmologist visit.

Hugs,Zoey

bridget thronton
10-25-2023, 03:00 AM
Glad things went so well for you

Crissy 107
10-25-2023, 05:11 AM
What a wonderful post! Thanks and continued success!

kimdl93
10-25-2023, 07:04 AM
That was wonderful. Now when will you introduce yourself to the housekeeper?

GretchenM
10-25-2023, 07:15 AM
A wonderful experience. It seems that more and more often recognition of gender variance in identity and expression is becoming fairly common in spite of the noise makers objections and lack of tolerance. People are getting it, even in some of the more strongly conservative places. Respect of personal choices is gaining ground and the rigid perspective is declining over much of the world. To me as an ecologist and evolutionary biologist, it sometimes looks like some kind of "evolution" is occurring. Social shifts in attitudes can become imprinted into the genetic portions of behavior, but it is next to impossible to determine what is really happening at the chemical level. Maybe that isn't really that important; positive shifts at the social level is important and beyond that it is pretty much up to Nature to record and imprint it where necessary. But whatever is happening, the fact that experiences like yours are happening more and more often is a positive sign that the human social world is shifting in some ways that are more loving and accepting of each other. Nevertheless, the is still so much polarization everywhere as well, but that is a part of major change processes. Change is bumpy road.

docrobbysherry
10-25-2023, 12:55 PM
How brave of u, Nancy!:battingeyelashes:

alwayshave
10-26-2023, 06:46 PM
Nancy, that is wonderful.

Karen G
10-26-2023, 06:58 PM
uff, that's a great milestone! congratulations!

Christie ann
10-26-2023, 07:49 PM
Ya, what Gretchen said. I seem to be following in your heels, Nancy. I try to push my comfort zone a little, especially when my wife is out of town. Today was one of those days and I did a few errands, went grocery shopping and paid some bills. I was astounded at what a non event for everyone else, while for me it was quite the big deal. Nothing but kindness and understanding, albeit, there were some initial puzzled looks.
So kudos on the big step. Enjoy the euphoria of today.

Sometimes Steffi
10-26-2023, 07:50 PM
Some of my doctors know about Steffi, and have even seen her. One even has both my boy name and Steffi in my medical records.

I have to be careful because my wife and I share many doctors. I always remind my doctors who know about Steffi that anything I say or they find out about Steffi is protected by HIPPA, the US Medical Privacy Act.

NonbiNancy
10-26-2023, 08:38 PM
What a sweet story. Thank you for sharing. -Nancy

nancy58
10-27-2023, 09:17 PM
I'm not sure when I'll introduce myself to the housekeeper. I feel that I owe it to my adult daughter first.

Heather76
10-28-2023, 04:56 PM
A very uplifting post and experience.

BLUE ORCHID
10-28-2023, 07:00 PM
You are in Control, That was a great story,

CDMargret
10-30-2023, 08:19 AM
Such a great experience. Congrats on getting out there as Nancy.