Do non-crossdressers ever even slightly crossdress?

[Samantha51]

Hi. Me again with another denial question. I've 95%+ accepted I'm a crossdresser and that it's not a fad due to anxiety.

But... I suppose there's no real answer, but how many non-CD people try crossdressing once or a few times and then realise it's not for them? Or are non-CD people not curious in the slightest about their mum's clothes (or whatever triggers us)? What does a non-CD person say when asked what they think about them wearing their mum/wives clothes? If you say it never crosses their mind, that it's an alien concept to them then I'll have to accept I'm a crossdresser once and for all.

Yes, yes, I know I'm seeking to deny what I feel is true anyway, but life would certainly be easier (but less fun) if I didn't CD.

In other news: yesterday I painted my own nails, in front of my wife who was "happy" about it. Bright red didn't suit me (so my wife said anyway). It came off before bed.

I've managed to focus on real work yesterday and today and that felt good as I didn't need to CD - until I came back from a nice walk and a controllable desire to dress came on - so I'm sat here dressed. Hmm. Nice.

I also realise that for my entire life I've tried exhaustively to please everyone else at my own expense. To be the "son of my mum's dreams" (she doesn't even know I smoked for some years as that would upset her view of me), or the "husband of my wife's dreams" - trying to anticipate her every need. Exhausting and has never left much space for me.

Thanks for reading another one of my rambles and sorry yet again it's denying what's pretty damned obvious!

[Patience]

How much did you crossdress before you realized you were a crossdresser?

[Samantha51]

As a teen I'd occasionally try on my mum's frumpy dresses.
Last few years: occasional wearing of my wifes knickers, progressing to occasionally wearing a dress for moments, and same for bras, tights.

But do non-CD people ever do ANY of this?

[Di]

As a teen I'd occasionally try on my mum's frumpy

But do non-CD people ever do ANY of this?

You are asking Crossdressers that always did this?
Wait?.what? I guess they can guess.
I am sorry you are having such stress over this.
But I kinda feel offended.
There are near 32,000 crossdressers here that we try to support and help them see
Not a big deal
Normal
Can be just part of your life.

So if you do not want to think of yourself as a crossdresser?.ok then don’t- that’s great
If you think of yourself as a crossdresser?ok wonderful - that’s great.

I know you are trying to look inside yourself, only you can do this.
You say in your post ….no offense- but you act like it is this bad thing.
and I just am feeling protective of our members.

[Geena75]

I think of how many guys have dressed up, in some cases very fully and convincingly, and never felt the urge to do so again. In High School a classmate wore a dress, pantyhose, heels, wig, makeup and all for a skit and (to my knowledge) never again. At a summer camp it was a gag for the counselor men to dress up as girls for a skit at the end of the camp -- and never again. I have another friend who tells of dressing up as a girl for some church party and was totally convincing, and that was the end of it. That's not to mention all the entertainment men who dressed in drag for a role or skit and are not crossdressers. I guess the conclusion is that it isn't the clothes, it's who is wearing them.

[Christie ann]

I live in the midst of manly men. They won’t even use the pink porta potty.

There is a great book, “The Gender Mosaic”. I know that Gretchen here, has also talked about this book. It really describes how brains decode gender and that we are on a planet full of very different people. You need to embrace who you are.

[Karren H]

How may dresses does a crossdresser dress in if a crossdresser couldn?t cross dress? Or visa versa.

[Di]

. You need to embrace who you are.

I very much agree and Christie Ann said it much better than myself.
Be proud of yourself.
The most important thing is being a good person not the clothing you might be wearing.

[Samantha51]

I live in the midst of manly men. They won’t even use the pink porta potty.

There is a great book, “The Gender Mosaic”. I know that Gretchen here, has also talked about this book. It really describes how brains decode gender and that we are on a planet full of very different people. You need to embrace who you are.

I honestly feel I've come a MASSIVE distance towards accepting it. I'm most of the way there! This question was dotting the i's I suppose. I have been enjoying it, though there's lots of negotating and growing to do still.

I grew up as a huge people-pleaser and only realised today how strong this is in me. I have in some ways never accepted my own needs, never given myself space to be alternative (tattoos, long/different hair, smoking, piercings, safe job vs running my own biz, etc). So I've been growing extremely rapidly the last few months and I'm proud of that growth, but the urge to conform and be a good boy is still VERY strong.

Thanks for the book reference, I shall look at it.

I really do appreciate everything you lovely people have helped me with the last week!

Samantha x

[docrobbysherry]

Face it, u r a CD, Sam! I was a non CD before 50. When I believe chemical/hormone changes made me want to try on women's things?:battingeyelashes:

Why had I never tried on my mother's, girl friend's, or wife's clothes before then? Even tho I had plenty of opportunities? Because the thot NEVER ENTERED MY MIND!:straightface:

Once, my ex and I traded genders for a big Halloween party. I wore heels, pantyhose, wig and a dress. Of course I had balloon boobs and makeup on over my beard and stash!:heehee:
The thing is, that nite made such a forgettable impression on me I didn't remember it until after I'd been CDing for 10 years! That Halloween event having occurred 20 years earlier!:eek:

[char GG]

Samantha,

I sense that you are struggling with yourself. You sound like a people pleaser. CDing is not against the law in your country. Many people do it. Just because you don't see others CDed doesn't mean that they don't exist. Take some time for yourself and don't worry.

I hope that you can stop the "chatter" in your head that questions this part of you. The thing is - do not obsess or whether or not it's ok,- you are allowing doubt to creep into your life. Don't obsess about CDing to the point that it takes away from other things that are important in your life. Please - just enjoy life. If you want to CD, go for it. If you don't, that's up to you too.

None of us really know what other people do, have done, or what is in their head. The important thing is that you are happy with yourself.

:hugs:

[Cheryl T]

Any crossdressing is crossdressing.
You can't be a NON if you are ANY.

[Bea_]

As a teen I'd occasionally try on my mum's frumpy dresses.
Last few years: occasional wearing of my wifes knickers, progressing to occasionally wearing a dress for moments, and same for bras, tights.

But do non-CD people ever do ANY of this?

In my teens I tried on my mom's or sister's bras that were hanging in the bathroom. I didn't have any real desire to wear a bra, but it was a feminine thing to which I could aim my raging testosterone. I wouldn't consider that to make me a crossdresser.

For the first 30 or so years of my marriage, I tried on a couple of items from my wife's drawers or closet out of curiosity. The curiosity was satisfied with no real compulsion to follow up for long periods of time. I wouldn't consider myself to have been a crossdresser at that time.

About fifteen years ago I tried on a couple of pairs of my wife's panties and something clicked. I talked to my wife about my desire to have and wear panties and she bought me my first batch. At that point I'm not sure I'd have considered myself to be a crossdresser, but that's up for debate.

Then, I was given a few of my wife's hand-me-down tops and bought a couple pairs of leggings and that's when I'd say I became a crossdresser in my own mind. There was very little sexual motivation involved but it felt like something that made me more complete, if that makes any sense.

Anyone can debate a starting point, but once there's a compulsion to dress more regularly, it'd be hard to argue that one is not a crossdresser. And even after you've claimed the title, you'll still have to figure out how it all fits into your overall identity. I'm a dude that wears women's things with no desire to look like a woman.

[DianeT]

I like to wander in the forest at night and hunt rabbits and little animals. Swift as a ghost, I administer fate to these unfortunate creatures and the deadly streak of my scarlet fur is planted in their minds as their last earthly vision as I gleefully break my fast. But I am not a fox.

Tonight I went on a rampage in the henhouse. The cries, the frantic race of the frightened fowls, the feathers dancing everywhere in the air, the taste of blood through my fangs, excite my senses and fill me with guilty pleasures. But I'm not a fox.

Oh I hope I'm not a fox. Life would be so much easier if I wasn't a fox. If I had not to run desperately for hours from hill to hill to the sound of the hunting horn and narrowly escape from the hounds at my heels. If I didn't dream at night of the hissing of the lead from the farmer's rifle closely shaving my ears as I stroll away from my crime scene.

So I do poultry once in a while. So what? Don't the other forest blokes do it at times? If they had a chance one day to wear scarlet furs and have their vixen paint their paws in coal black, would they pass? And if they tried it and then got back to their life, would that make them foxes for the rest of eternity?

I'm not a fox.

[CarlaWestin]

How many dresses does a crossdresser dress in if a crossdresser couldn't cross dress? Or visa versa.

Karren, it's because one of the legs are both the same. Intermittently, of course.

Had to think back to a time when I was 10 and with a bunch of family, water skiing.
I was enjoying floating around in the water in a lady's ski vest with some snickering as it appeared that I was enjoying the experience.
That was a little before mom's bras started talking to me. And that's long, long ago.

[docrobbysherry]

Diane, coincidently I created very elaborate picto story about a woman who wanted to become a fox!:heehee:
And, she almost became one!:eek:

It's posted on Fetlife if u or anyone wants to see it, PM me!:daydreaming:

[Crissy 107]

Any crossdressing is crossdressing.
You can't be a NON if you are ANY.
Cheryl said it all with this short statement

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Samantha

I understand the urge to conform but this is 2023. Being who you are is more acceptable now.
You still don't have to rush out and tell the world.

As has been said accepting who you are is a good first step. Having a supportive wife make your choices so much easier.
Just remember to take things at your own pace.

Oh and you may want to ask your wife, what colour of nails she thinks would suit you the best.

[Blonde617]

Had an older and younger brother. Don’t think either of them ever did. And I dressed up a little in front of them, like putting on my mother’s bra.

What I learned on Halloween was if a guy knows his bra and dress sizes, he’s probably a crossdresser. Learned this from two gg friends who asked me one Halloween….

[NancySue]

After many years, with the allure of lingerie, catalogs, more open society, etc., most will never admit it, but,I believe most guys, at one time or another, out of curiosity, have tried on women?s clothes. With me, it was nylon stockings. It just stuck. One of my golfing buddies, who?s also a hunter, mentioned he wore either thigh high stockings or pantyhose to keep his legs warm. I just smiled.

[Snide_lobster]

Labels are what they are. You can choose to accept them, pick and choose which one's gel with you, that's all in your power and right. That being said if something walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...

In truth. No, I don't think non crossdressers actively think about dressing as women. Of course, there are flavors to this. Some are too macho that even the thought of the idea is off-putting. For some it might just be a onetime curiosity. Others might entertain the idea given the circumstances, be it a joke, Halloween, theatre production, ect. ect. Yet even in the case of the latter group it usually remains a onetime thing.

You're free to call yourself whatever you want, but at the same time if you constantly think about catching fish, and even every once and a while go out and do it, you're probably a fisherman.

At the same time, that doesn't have to mean anything either. If it's something you want to do, do it. If it's something you feel personally wrong for doing or feel like may have negative consequences on other relationships, don't do it. To some members crossdressing is just a harmless hobby, others see it as an uncontrollable impulse not dissimilar to an addiction (there's perhaps a more appropriate term that avoids the stigma of this word), others find it arousing. What really seems to be the question at hand here, is "If you are infact a crossdresser (or maybe transvestite, transgender woman, drag queen, gender non conforming individual, ect. ect.) are you ok with that? If not why?".

[Samantha51]

Hi all,

So many responses with great messages (the fox one was amusing and superb as was "Any crossdressing is crossdressing. You can't be a NON if you are ANY.").

I'm way beyond the simple trying women's clothes once or twice as an experiment. I don't know where it will end but I accept I'm a crossdresser. I had a phone call on Friday with a UK NHS "social prescriber" and I briefly opened up to her about crossdressing and gender confusion and that was a weight off my mind - only the 2nd person I've directly spoken to and there was no judgment or scandal in her voice - it was a big relief to talk to someone. Both are women. She's signposted me towards a couple of LGBTQ+ charities and I've already emailed one of them. I might look at contacting the Beaumont society as well. I'd like to talk to people to triangulate better what I'm feeling.

Edit: I meant to say that I've started "The Gender Mosaic". Early days but it makes total sense so far - that we are all a patchwork of traits. For the longest time I thought all people were basically the same (like basically we're all the same type of computer bought from a shop) and that anyone could be anything - it's just a matter of the right education/software. I am slowly seeing (and feeling good about) that we are this mosaic of traits (and that extends WAY beyond gender). More to chew on! Thanks Christie Ann for highlighting it.

Thank you to all the lovely people here
Sam x

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

So the consensus here is that most of us have at some point tried wearing women's clothes. But then we're all crossdressers (or beyond), so duh. I don't know how we could possibly know if non-cd's ever tried unless we start asking them, which I'm not going to do. I do know several guys that wore a women's costume for a Halloween at some point, or who put on a girlfriend's skirt for a laugh, but for all I know they are closeted crossdressers just like me. Most of my friends have seen me in a woman's costume for Halloween too (or at least a photo), but to my knowledge none of them suspect that I'm CD.

I don't think you're going to get a good answer for your original question within this group, we just don't know.

[Stephanie47]

I think the range of donning women's clothing can range from a guy not even wanting to touch a female garment. "Yikes! Ugh! I touched that bra laying on the floor! I got to wash my hands! What will the guys down at the bar think of me?" Or, all the way to a wife taking the initiative of donning her hubby up for Halloween as a sexy tart that leads to some really good "kinky" sex.

The issue is some guys are so paranoid about anything but straight boy-girl roles that they cringe at anything else. Their idea of "romantic" is to buy a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day.

[Pantyfan]

I think labels are things we give ourselves or categorize others, and its always a spectrum. I think curiosity gets many, but that doesnt mean things will escalate or go further. Things went somewhat slowly for me, even though I dressed in small or large parts I didnt have the opportunity growing up to do it very often. So while I was very interested it wasnt an overwhelming thing. I dont think I thought of myself as a crossdresser for quite a while. An outside person might put that label on me, while it doesnt matter much to me. Much more so in the past few years adding lots of leggings and short skirts in the mix, but the label came long after the start if it.

[April Rose]

Getting over that last bit of internalized transphobia is hard. A lot of us here still struggle with it.

[SaraLin]

Here's how I look at the question:

If you've ever put on some item of clothing that's meant for the opposite sex - then yes, you've crossdressed.
But -
That doesn't automatically make you a crossdresser.

IF:
You've done it for a purpose (such as a role in a play)
You've done it by mistake (Hey - those are your sister's mittens)
You've done it for bedroom play,
etc.

Then no, I'd venture to say that you might not be a crossdresser, just that you have done it.
There probably are a lot of people who fall into this category.

To BE a crossdresser (IMHO) I feel that you have to have the added ingredient of wanting, desiring, or even needing to dress.
Without the inner drive, it's just an action you're doing, not an identity.

Am I making any sense here?

[Samantha51]

Hi Sara Lin,

Makes perfect sense and it's a very good yardstick. I've accepted I crossdress regularly with intent and enjoyment. I now call myself a crossdresser. I wear knickers every day now, this morning had a nap in a nightdress, etc. I don't have the money right now to buy anything else which is frustrating!

My rather daft question (asking if CD is real for me, to a CD forum) was, in hindsight, asking if anyone had seen studies or reports describing my question.

I was previously holdiing out hope that it was a fad. To be clear I don't think there is anything wrong with crossdressing, just that it's going to complicate life alongside bringing some peace and happiness.

Thanks,
Sam

- - - Updated - - -


Getting over that last bit of internalized transphobia is hard. A lot of us here still struggle with it.

Transphobic? Probably some lingering around. I've very rapidly in 2 months or so gone from being quite bigoted in general to having got rid of most of that. That's a very good thing. I now massively admire all people that have come out for their incredible bravery. For example of lingering phobia, I've approached a trans support charity here in the UK and they're offering counselling at good rates and my immediate response was "surely I'm not trans am I?" and "are they going to be objective enough about me 'in the round' or will they seek to channel me down a path?". So, yeah, I suppose I still am -phobic. But I'm still really proud of how far I HAVE come in such short time.

I read conflicting sites. Some say CD comes under the trans umbrella (e.g. Beaumont Society), others (many) say CD is not trans. Is there a settled view here?

[sometimes_miss]

I believe most guys, at one time or another, out of curiosity, have tried on women?s clothes.

Well; have you ever, out of curiosity, tried on an octopus outfit and dove down into the ocean to see what it was like being an octopus with 8 limbs, and crawling along the sea floor?

Probably not. Because that's not what you feel yourself to be. It's the same with purely straight 'vanilla' people, who identify as the sex that they are born. It doesn't even occur to them. There's no, 'gee, I wonder what it's like wearing a bra, panties, stockings, high heels, a dress, and putting on make up every day?'
It's not who they are, and not what they ever thought they were.
The question posted has been discussed before, many times ( and I know the search function doesn't work all that great). Yes, there are a few, but in general, it simply doesn't occur to the straight, vanilla world, to 'try out' being something opposite what they believe they are, especially in western societies where there is such a stigma against men crossing the gender line. Males are almost always brought up from first self awareness, being told that for a boy to be girly in any way, is the worst possible thing he can be, so they consciously AND subconsciously ignore or deny any possibility that they might be in any way, female. it's simply not acceptable in their minds. Of course, that's not true for women, who can wear pretty much whatever they want.

The 'I believe' bit, is simply a crossdressers desire to have all other men want to crossdress, to make it okay for us to do so and still be 'normal'.

[AndreaOTK]

I guess many guys have crossdressed just for carnival and it take it as a joke but no longer thinks about it becoming something to do from time to time

I see in other threads that you are anxious about it, i hope you can get dressed without overthinking so much. You are not doing anything ilegal.

[ReineD]

I don't think that non-CDers are the least bit interested in trying on women's clothes. In fact, it has been my observation that picturing himself in a dress is personally repulsive for a non-CDer, even if he is not bothered by or prejudiced against the idea that another man might crossdress. Gosh, when one of my sons was a teenager, he even refused to hold a pink umbrella in a pouring rain!

You like to wear women's clothes. It is what it is. You don't have to label yourself as anything specific gender-wise. In fact, I suspect there are as many different definitions for what it means to be a CDer as there are actual CDers! :) You just need to accept that you enjoy wearing women's clothes.





There is a great book, ?The Gender Mosaic?. I know that Gretchen here, has also talked about this book. It really describes how brains decode gender and that we are on a planet full of very different people. You need to embrace who you are.

This book is about the false idea that female brains are vastly different than male brains, and the resulting false gender constructs forced upon society, such as "men are better at science and math", "women are more nurturing", "men are natural born leaders", "women are softer", "men are more aggressive", "women are more emotional", etc.

This book calls into question the many things that so many members here believe are true, namely that CDers cross-dress because they are innately feminine. There is no such thing as innate femininity and masculinity. Other than our reproductive capabilities and the physical characteristics determined by our chromosomes (genitalia, breasts, body size, muscle mass, voice, etc), there really isn't much difference between us!

While it's true that some boys are raised to not cry, and some girls are raised to not make waves (to give an example), our society has progressed hugely in these areas in the last few generations. Now, boys who show emotions and girls who are aggressive are not chastised the way they were in the 1950s.

As adults, men are now expected to contribute to the nurturing of children and to the household chores, just as women are expected to contribute to household finances and major family decisions. Everyone is on a more equal footing, as it should be. This book reinforces all of this.

It will be awhile before ALL false social gender conditioning (boys being told to not cry and girls being told to not make waves) is completely eliminated. There persists in our society a fair chunk of people (including many CDers) who are determined to maintain the "men are men and are from mars, and women are women and are from venus" misrepresentation. But in reality, both men and women do run the full spectrum from less to more emotional, less to more aggressive, less to more nurturing, less to more intelligent, etc.

Sorry for the rant. lol. This is a topic near and dear to my heart. :)

[Rhonda Jean]

Hmmm. Interesting responses here. DianeT's fox thing... I want some of what she's having! Nice to see Reine weigh in. Her "innately feminine" comment... couldn't agree more.

I can only see things from the perspective of a crossdresser. When I see men doing certain things I think there's some little hidden thing going on there. Whether it's long hair, earrings, nail polish, waxed brows... I always think there's a little something going on there. But, I realize that's coming from a particular perspective.

If we're talking about things that happen in secret, it's hard for me to imagine that there's a man on the planet that hasn't put on a pair of panties or something. I have no idea if any "feeling" lingers for them.

Stana on Femulate has a "womanless pageant" section. When I was in high school we had one. I did not participate. Of the dozen or so participants, most chose some ridiculous caricature. A couple (one in particular) was no charicature. He was just stunning. I do not think he was a cd, but who knows. He was not feminine in any way at any other time. I think many of us would not have participated in a womanless pageant for fear of outing ourselves. Every womanless pageant or halloween party where someone crossdresses includes a lot of comments like "He's a little too good at this".

[JackieD]

Really think This is not the group for that question. We all tried it and like it, SO much that we [at the time] risked everything to do it. Risked our marriage, friends, family, The world did change. It?s more accepted today than 30 years ago. But still your SO still has the choice, of staying or leaving They didn?t married a CD.

[DianeT]

Gosh, when one of my sons was a teenager, he even refused to hold a pink umbrella in a pouring rain!

Reine you leave out the important fact that this umbrella was to be held in public. It's a very different thing to do something in public and in your privacy. The crossdressing teenager I was may have refused too to hold that pink umbrella. I wouldn't have been any less of a crossdresser for it.



In fact, it has been my observation that picturing himself in a dress is personally repulsive for a non-CDer, even if he is not bothered by or prejudiced against the idea that another man might crossdress.

Picturing himself? There is also an important bit here that can be missed. There can be a great difference for a non-MIAD, binary CDer (which I am, despite accommodating to MIAD in the particular context of doing it with my wife) between dressing in women's clothes and seeing the result in a mirror. I have evolved on that point, but for a long time I couldn't stand seeing myself in a mirror while dressed unless I got shaved and made up. The dissonance between my male, bearded face and the rest was too disturbing. But if I just looked at my "female" dressed body in subjective view, or pictured myself as such in my mind, I was happy with the result.
The takeaway here, is that a CDer can be repelled too by his presentation in female clothes.
This is not to say any man would secretly love to wear female clothes, this is projecting too much, but considering that some non-CDers may be a bit excited by wearing female clothes in a private context (I insist on private) even if they would not admit it publicly, that is something I could subscribe to (and may, and I say may, have witnessed in a few occasion to be honest).

[docrobbysherry]

Reine, I hope u realize you're beating a dead horse here? There's no way dressers will admit that most men DON'T either try on women's undies in private or wish they could! Because women's undies r such hot fetish item for so many here!:o

But, I think you're incorrect on one point: "Regular" men aren't appalled thinking about themselves wearing women's things. They don't go that far.:straightface:

I was a regular guy into my 50's. And, up to then the amount of times I imagined myself in women's clothes was ZERO!
Men don't think about that anymore than they imagine themselves becoming lampposts!:devil:

[ReineD]

... but considering that some non-CDers may be a bit excited by wearing female clothes in a private context (I insist on private) even if they would not admit it publicly ....

You mean like a kink? A bit like a guy who has a thing for feet, or for furry things?

Then yes, I suppose anything can evolve to being some sort of fetish.

So maybe I should have expanded ... "non-CDers who don't have fetishes". :)

[Bea_]

I don't think that non-CDers are the least bit interested in trying on women's clothes.

I was a non-CDer for the first fifty plus years of my life. I never had a real "interest" in wearing women's clothes and never considered the possibility of wearing them in public or even regularly in private. But, in those first fifty years, out of curiosity, I tried mascara exactly once and tried on various items of my wife's clothing for minutes at a time. There was no particular interest in continuing the practice because my curiosity was satisfied in the moment. I don't think that's as rare as you seem to think.



Gosh, when one of my sons was a teenager, he even refused to hold a pink umbrella in a pouring rain!

The need to posture in public is a very real societally enforced requirement, especially in the teenage years. We tend to internalize the enforcement without question if the cost of being ostracized is high enough. The world I worked in was very rigid in that same enforcement and any variance was only practiced in private.

- - - Updated - - -


But in reality, both men and women do run the full spectrum from less to more emotional, less to more aggressive, less to more nurturing, less to more intelligent, etc.

This is very true but, as can be seen in so many threads here on the forum, it is our significant others that enforce the rules most emphatically. Even if we, as individuals, reject the norms, those whom we associate can make the cost extravagantly high. Many of our wives do not look at the whole gender issue as you do and I am wondering how much your viewpoint was present before becoming involved with your SO.

[AndyB]

I've been wearing pantyhose and tights for years. Quite honestly, it's less crossdressing and more "give me one good reason why skirts, dresses, lacy knickers and tights aren't unisex" - in other words, for me, the rules that make us crossdress shouldn't exist.

Then again I wear a bra from time to time, quite needlessly, but I'm on just the right website to find people who will tell me to wear what I enjoy wearing regardless :)

[Samantha51]

To me AndyB, it IS about these items being associated with women, it's partly lifting a finger to society's norms as well as enjoying whatever feelings I get wearing them! Each to their own of course but the feminine association is important to me.

[ClosetED]

From a questionable source of Quora, but:

What is the percent of males who crossdress?
It is estimated that more than 50% men have either crossdressed or have had the urge to do so.

Thirty percent have at least dressed as a female once in their life and 25% men actually crossdress on a regular basis.

The percentage of those who come out or dress full time is estimated to be 5%>
------------
I have heard most boys try it once in secret and get no enjoyment from it. We are different in that we do get enjoyment from it.
Hugs, Ellen

[JackieD]

We never think I am going to become a cross dresser
We always were cross dressers We just did not know about it. The first time you slip on a pair of panties. Everything is telling you no. But putting on someone used dirty pantries. just excites you, You would not go near dirty men?s underwear . Are you a cross dresser. You don?t think so. You think you can stop.. But that the joke. You have no control over it.
You aren?t hurting anybody. It doesn?t mean you are evil .

[ReineD]

I am wondering how much your viewpoint was present before becoming involved with your SO.

My oldest son is in his late 30s, my youngest in his late 20s.

From the very beginning I did my best to raise caring, nurturing boys. I have three sons, no daughters. Their dress-up chest had all sorts of things in it, from boas, to Peter Pan tights, to my old discarded high boots with heels, among an assortment of many different things. I chose toys for them that were non-gendered, for example a circus with entertainers, a safari set with animals, all sorts of building sets, tons of arts and crafts supplies, books galore, science kits, in addition to the action figures they asked for (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Star Wars figures for example :)). One summer, I kept their school's elaborate Playmobil dollhouse (which I was tasked to glue together with Crazy Glue), and my boys played with the dollhouse until it was returned in September. I encouraged the expression of their emotions and I never told them that boys shouldn't cry. When they cried, I would hug them until they stopped, if they wanted to be hugged. I refused to buy them toy guns or other violent toys until their father bought them a bb-gun when they were teenagers. When the oldest son's friend came out to his parents as gay at the beginning of high school, I had a long talk with my sons about respecting everyone's sexuality. When my youngest son and I saw a crossdresser at the post office (he was 11 or 12), and he asked "Is that a man??" I told him there are people who are outside of the gender binary and they deserve to be respected for who they are.

All of this was years and years before I met my SO.

If I had been blessed with a daughter, I would have raised her the same way. I would not have encouraged playing with Barbies (unrealistic beauty standards), and I would have prioritized her abilities, talents and intellect more than her looks, just as my parents did for me.

Today my boys are wonderful, caring, well-adjusted adults who have all chosen fabulous, caring, accomplished, strong women as their life partners. My oldest son and his wife have a new baby girl, and he is as nurturing with the baby as I was with him.

Most of my friends raised their children the same way. We did our best to eliminate boundaries and restrictions for both boys and girls.

[DianeT]

The more I think about it, the more I come to the conclusion that the answer to the OP would require a set of two experiments:

Experiment 1 - Study the assertion "All males would love to wear frmale clothes if they had a chance"

Put random males in an isolated room and tell them there are no cameras and they can try on any clothes that have been laid out on a table for them. Clothes are both male and female garments including lingerie. Of course there are hidden cameras to record the results. Since we want to study non-CDers, eliminate CDers from the results by rejecting males that solely tried on female stuff and did it with too much maestria (if you end up eliminating all subjects from the study then obviously the maps of the CDing prevalence among the general male population needs to be redone).

Experiment 2 - Study the assertion "All males would be more or less excited to wear, or be forced to wear, female clothes"

Put random males in an isolated room and tell them there are no cameras and they have to try on for a few minutes a series of female outfits that have have been laid out on a table for them. The outfits sample the typical things that make sexually-triggered CDers woohoo such as bras, panties, garter belts, hose, high heels, etc. Of course there are hidden cameras to record the results. Since we want to study non-CDers, eliminate CDers from the results by rejecting males that dressed with much too eagerness and maestria. Note which ones experienced at least one er...ion in the process.

Of course the above protocols have many obvious flaws and biases and would require some adjustments. But it would be a start.

Until then, we will keep projecting and assuming.

[Lana Mae]

Let yourself, be your self! Hugs Lana Mae

[docrobbysherry]

ClosetEd, Quara seems to be a, "Question and Answer", forum. In which case the stats u posted appear to be someone's, maybe your own, opinion? :straightface:

And, I'm very dubious of them. No stats I've read anywhere r close to 50% of men r "CD curious or oriented"!:eek:

[Snide_lobster]

Honestly, are there even any good studies on the cd population? I'm sure it's even harder now than it was then with the inclusion of other categories of growing relevance. The overlap with drag, transgender, and non-binary identities, practices, ect. seem to make it hard to isolate cd's exclusively.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I would believe that "over 50% of men have crossdressed" could be true if "crossdressed" includes Halloween, trying on something of a girlfriends as a joke, and young boys stomping around in mom's shoes.

[Lilly-Ann]

Personal opinion here but I would say there are more fellows who have ventured down the path of trying clothing that was intended to be marketed to the opposite sex than what any studies would ever show.
most fellows that are willing to try it would never admit to it. societal grooming has pushed us to believe what is and is not right clothing choices for your birth gender, many of us that crossdress grew up with the notation that wearing clothing not in your gender section is wrong, so not true, there are many items marketed to women that are now marketed for men also and some you would never know who they were intended for.
just the other day me and the wife were in a store and I stopped to look at thermal underwear for winter, there were 2 different boxes, one market for men and one for women, unless you paid attention to the box they came out of, you cannot tell the difference between the mens and womens thermals, only one slight difference me and her found was the womens had a slightly different cut in the crotch area, they were the same material and same stitching, the women's ones actually fit better in the crotch area than the mens, the mens crotch are feels like it hangs to your knees, very bulky feeling.
Makes me wonder how many men have bought the women's thermals not knowing the difference until they got home and took them out of the packaging.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

Lilly-Ann's post made me think of this: I read a post on yahoo once about guys wearing women's socks. The response I remember most was "it's ok unless they're pink, if they're pink you're gay." All I could think was if putting on pink socks make you gay, then you're already gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that)

Seriously, women's feet and men's feet are shaped the same, how can socks be gendered?

[BaliGirl]

How much did you crossdress before you realized you were a crossdresser?

Patience, I crossdressed a lot before I realized I was a crossdresser.

More specifically, when I was a teen I crossdressed, but I was "just putting on a bra or a leotard". I WAS NOT A CROSSDRESSER!!!

Then I moved into my own place, and didn't have access to bras. So I didn't crossdress. BECAUSE I WAS NOT A CROSSDRESSER!!!

But I didn't lose the urge to put on a bra. It was always there. Because I was actually a crossdresser!

[prene]

I think I knew before I knew what a crossdresser was.

I was like 12-13 pre-teen and tried on my mom's and sisters clothes I was hooked

[jacques]

hello Samantha,
I posed a similar question here - the conclusion was that if a man wears women's clothes for practical purposes (e.g. wearing tights to keep the legs warm in winter) it is not cross-dressing - it is all about intent. I don't necessarily agree with that though.
luv J

[JANINE500]

Patience, I crossdressed a lot before I realized I was a crossdresser.

More specifically, when I was a teen I crossdressed, but I was "just putting on a bra or a leotard". I WAS NOT A CROSSDRESSER!!!

Then I moved into my own place, and didn't have access to bras. So I didn't crossdress. BECAUSE I WAS NOT A CROSSDRESSER!!!

But I didn't lose the urge to put on a bra. It was always there. Because I was actually a crossdresser!






I was just age 4 when i put on my mother's bra, and knew instantly that women's clothes were meant for me, and i was meant for womens clothes.

[CeCe]

No reason to over think this. I am occasionally a man in lingerie and a dress in the privacy of my home. It does not happen often, but it does happen and I like it. I am not trans, but I am a crossdresser. Even if I do not wear femmewear for weeks at a time, I am a crossdresser. It is not about what I wear or how often I wear it, it is about my inner, rooted attraction to wearing it.
Regarding the question posed in the original post, my explanation may not define a non-dresser, but it helps me define what is a crossdresser.

[GiselleTGirl]

Until I was 10/11 years old I thought I was alone in doing this, but one day I stumbled across an article on the internet talking about crossdressing and to my relief I found out that other people did this too. The exact statistics varied, but regardless of the amount, it was clear that among the people I knew, there had to have been at least one or two others who were CDs, statistically. Thus, I mentioned it to a few friends, without saying I myself am one, and that I just found it interesting that people are into this. They were all largely indifferent to it and weirded out by it to a certain extent. One friend actually went home and tried on his mom's bras and panties, and he said it was unpleasant and that he wouldn't do it again. So all-in-all, it just seems like a foreign concept to non-CDs.

Also, I went to a boy's school for a year or two, just before high school, and as I was a drama kid, I was around a lot of boys who dressed up as girls for school plays. I asked them about it and they said they didn't wear panties because there was absolutely no need, they wore bras cause they needed the illusion of boobs, and stockings because it adds to the fem appearance, and whatever outerwear the wardrobe people gave them. They didn't particularly enjoy the process of dressing up, but some of them did enjoy it more in a "omg so fab" kinda way, rather than the usual CD way. But largely, they were all indifferent to it and did not see the need to do anything beyond what was necessary.

- - - Updated - - -

Though interestingly, this study (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5519052/) shows that around 26% of men at some point have worn sexy lingerie or underwear for their partner, though the exact nuances of that are not discussed, so I don't know exactly what this refers to (women's lingerie, or some silky boxers or something like that)