Dating and CDing

[Pantyfan]

I?m single, and will soon be looking to jump back into the dating scene. I dont dress to pass, but I?m always under dressing and often wear leggings or skirts based on the weather. Once I start meeting and talking to women I have no clue what the best practices are about this part of me. When do I bring it up? How? What has worked for you? Any thoughts or experiences would be much appreciated!

[Di]

Welcome
My advice for you from a GG
If you see yourself getting serious please tell her.
You read here all the time a CD thinks it will stop and does not tell only to find later they start dressing..
Here a link to our loved ones section.

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?66-Loved-Ones

Pay particular attention to ( the sticky’s) feeling lied and betrayed.
Our GGs expressed how they felt not being told .
Best wishes

ADD
Some here might advise to tell right away…but that depends imo if you are out to others ect.

[jazmine]

I agree with Di.
It doesn't have to be the first thing you tell about yourself, but eventually it needs to be told.
It was the very last thing I told about myself to my wife when we were dating. I was about six months in when I finally said I was a crossdresser. I knew it is a deal breaker for many women. I had to give her an easy way out before I asked her to marry me.

[kimdl93]

I would say that this needs to come up if a relationship has progressed to the point of intimacy and possibly exclusivity. Hopefully by that point, both parties are developing a sense of trust in the other.

[Pantyfan]

Its definitely a ?I will tell her?, lifes too short to not get what you want. I?m just not sure on the timing and how to bring it up.

[GaleWarning]

First things first ...
You are unlikely to meet someone worth dating more than once at your very first foray onto the dating scene.
Be patient. For as long as it takes. Months, even.

When you do meet someone, and the two of you agree to meet again, take things slowly, as others have advised.
When you feel you can trust this person with your most intimate secret, and know for certain that they will respect you and not betray your trust, then tell them.

If it goes well, you will be blessed.
If it doesn't go well, then start looking for someone else.
Genuinely accepting SOs are hard to find.
Good luck!

[docrobbysherry]

8 billion people. Roughly 1/2 women? Amount of women you're really compatible with, maybe 500,000 to a million?:straightface:

What r the odds of u meeting one of those? Maybe 1 in 400? What r the odds if u tell them up front u CD? 1 in 4,000?:doh:

Unless u r trans and plan on coming out? Wait until it gets serious before bringing it up!:battingeyelashes:

[Aunt Kelly]

As Di said, when it's looking like it is about to get serious (as in exclusive, permanent, etc.) it is time to have "the talk".

[Sandi Beech]

If I were on the market for dating, I would simply rely on meeting people in person while en femme. There would be no beans to spill on some future date, and that person would not be interested in a date if CDing were a deterrent in the first place.

No time would be wasted on an incompatible partner. My 2 cents.

Sandi

[KristyPa]

Hi,
Dressing as a female is part of my life. I did almost daily until I got into a relationship, I won’t tell her she would freak and tell everyone we know which would be unacceptable to me. I’m still working in a highly visible local position.

I always felt the desire to dress as a female would go away until I was 35 or so. I’m now in my 60’s basically feel the same as a did as a teenager.
From what I’ve studied, the desire will never go away.

From what I’ve read and myself, the desire to dress as a female typically will not go away. If you want to have a relationship you have a choice to tell the person you want to have a long time relationship or hide you dress as a female.

I doubt many females would find it acceptable for their mate to dress as a female?

[NancySue]

I, too, completely agree with Di. It?s true. I can vouch for this advice. I know because it?s what I did. I, too, underdressed. I was filled with fear and trepidation, but it?s both the best and right thing to do. To my surprise, she saw nothing wrong with my dressing. Of course, she had some questions and we had many talks. We got married. She?s supportive and helpful.

[NatalieR]

I did the online thing after I decided I wanted to be more open about my "gender stuff". I told women I crossdressed before I met with them in person, and allowed them to ask questions etc. One woman got kind of angry, several said "That's cool, but not what I'm looking for..." and a few were OK with going ahead with a first date. I've been with the third woman I met in person for a little over 5 years, we have a great relationship, and she is very accepting. We go out together with me en femme on occasion. It worked for me but I understand why others might take another path. I think I was pretty lucky!! Good luck to you!!

[CeCe]

I returned to the dating world last year, I told the woman I started dating, but it took about a month or more to work up the courage. Amazingly, she was very accepting, but does not want to see me in more than bra and panties. I dress more fully when home alone. This is a compromise I can accept. Do tell your date within a reasonable period, and compromise if necessary

[prene]

I agree with most here, when it looks like it is getting serious (i.e exclusive, permanent, etc.) you need to say something.

Unfortunately, I have not found a long term relationship with a gg. I told my last gf and she ... I would like to say tried but was not really into me dressing.

another gf I had found out early when we were dating she was at my place found some of my clothing and thought ... she broke it off soon after.

But say something early so feelings are not hurt

[Sabine7]

I have been dressing like a woman for decades. It is part of me. I started long before dating with my wife. We are almost 4 decades together now.
I am a closet crossdresser and I had several accidental disclosures meanwhile which almost always used to end with unpleasure discussions.
However, we love each other and my spouse seems to be tolerant in this way that does not ask questions. Just jokes about my weakness.
I guess she knows I do still. Recently, I told her I had a gender identity problem having a female brain.
She accepted that. If I will be allowed to express my feminine version at home officially, I don't know.

[Genifer Teal]

If I were on the market for dating, I would simply rely on meeting people in person while en femme. There would be no beans to spill on some future date, and that person would not be interested in a date if CDing were a deterrent in the first place.

No time would be wasted on an incompatible partner. My 2 cents.

Sandi



This has always been my plan. You? May. Have to? Remind. People? You are interested in dating women. They are. Likely? To think otherwise. That's been my experience.

[CDMargret]

Your fresh out the gate and new on the scene. DRESS. State that you dress on your profiles. Find someone that can accept you from the start. Get on sites that are let's say life style friendly. We have friends from a site called Fetlife. They met and he has it stated that he dresses. She knew from the start and was not looking for that but she thought why not. Today they are getting married in May and she helps him dress. That's how I would do it if I had do. Thank goodness I have found an exceptional woman. Best of Luck!