I wish I could Dress!

[Judy-Somthing]

Well if you've seen my photos, you know I love to dress.

I had a Girl-Cave in a building I've owned but sold it a year and a half ago and now have no opportunity to dress.
I have a stash and don't even get to look at it, wife tracks my phone.

Well just ranting, Not happy!
Can you relate?

[Heather76]

I cannot relate. How on earth does she track your phone? And why? If I were in that situation and wanted to be alone to dress in private somewhere, I'd turn my phone off. If turning it off doesn't make it untrackable, then I'd leave it at home. I assume your wife either doesn't know you CD or is simply unaccepting in any way, shape, or form. I feel badly for you if she won't accept it at all. If she doesn't know, maybe it's time to start the conversation. But, you've been a member here long enough that I'm sure you're aware of that.

[Diane P]

Judy what made you sell the building you had your gurl cave in? I hope you can find some way to be able to dress again, even for just a little while.

[kimdl93]

I can understand how you feel. Rather like being a captive in your own life. I?m sorry that at least for now you are stuck. Perhaps something will change in your favor in 2024.

[Sherry Ann Evans]

Your wife tracks your phone? I'm sorry to be rude, but that's a much bigger marital problem than your lack of a place to dress up. Where is the trust between you and her? Address that first.

[Aka_Donna]

Phone tracking. You'ld have to power off the phone. But again, why? and why do you allow it? We don't read each others email, and that works well for us. Can't you negotiate a better relationship where there is no tracking? You're not a teenager.

[Kris Burton]

I do believe it is time for some marital counseling. You have been mentioning this problem for some time now, and are clearly not at all happy with this "arrangement". It seems like you are imprisoned, yet you have done nothing wrong. Please seek help.

[Helen_Highwater]

Judy,

Is the tracking reciprocate? I can see why folks might as a safety measure but hey we're not kids walking home from school. If it's not a mutual thing then I'd be turning it on for your SO and start asking the " Why were you at....." and see if she likes her privacy invaded.

Longer term I hope you can find a solution to your situation. As I recall your wardrobe was extensive. No chance of a mini stash somewhere with the home?

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I cannot relate. If I was in a marriage where my wife made me let her track my every movement I'd be getting a divorce.

[Maria 60]

I must admit I do miss your photos that you did a lot of. I remember you had the most amazing collection of dresses and I also remember when you told us your wife wanted to sell the building. I thought and was hoping that you would have found some other arrangement by now but I'm feeling your pain going from plenty to none.
Well even if your wife isn't tracking your phone when my wife will ask to see my phone for whatever reason and if I don't want her to that would be a red flag and she will then probably want to know what I'm keeping from her.
Let cross our fingers and hope the new year will bring some Judy time.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Tracking your phone, huh. I think that is a little excessive, but maybe it is what it is. Does your phone alert her when you leave a designated area? Yeah, I understand. When I go out with the girls, my wife expects me home by midnight. Some people may call that a curfew, and I'm one of them. I'm always annoyed that I have a curfew and that my older daughter who still lives at home doesn't have a curfew.

I suggest being creative. I'm an engineer and I'm trained to looking for alternative solutions.

I have a problem with my phone that the power runs down sometimes. I will call my wife and tell her that I'm running on low power and she might not be able to contact me. Sorry. I think that turning off your phone will have the same effect, and will cause a loss of tracking. Hint, hint.

I know that it's possible to rent a single office in a building. Maybe that's an alternative for you. I couldn't find a way to hide the expenditure, but maybe you could. I do have a lot of my clothes in a storage locker that I pay for in cash. My wife doesn't know about my storage locker, although the police may be able to connect the dots.

I have a good CD friend. I'm allowed to have friends that my wife has never met. I would go to her house quite often often to change and then we'd go out. I could possibly forget my phone at her place when we went out. It would look like I was there all night. If she tried to reach me, I missed the ring, or I forgot it at my friend's house, "oopsie". I have not verified this, but I may be able to get a "burner phone" paid for in cash and have any calls sent to my real phone transferred to my burner phone.

[Di]

Phone tracking. You'ld have to power off the phone. .

If its a APP -Turning off does not matter.
Everyone I know that uses the app is NOT done because someone is not trusted.its a thing popular now ..I worry for my daughters they worry for me but we are women worried about safety.
Might not be for be for nefarious reasons here its very popular App now -.but if it is because she does NOT trust you please read Kris advice below.


I do believe it is time for some marital counseling. You have been mentioning this problem for some time now, and are clearly not at all happy with this "arrangement". It seems like you are imprisoned, yet you have done nothing wrong. Please seek help.
A thousand likes - yes counseling - get this sorted- she can see its normal- you can work out what works for you both- be honest . Living like this Im sure is not making either of you happy.
You both can compromise and this has to be miserable for both of you.
Her always watching you because she is waiting for the next shoe to drop and you not being able to just dress,
I did not go back and refresh my memory on your posts but you cannot say you will stop dressing because that will NEVER EVER happen long term.
If this does not pertain to you ?..others reading do not say that the end result the wife will never trust you
And you will never stop dressing for ever. Just get it sorted out then?..it gets worse later as painful as it is it will be more painful later .

[Stephanie47]

I have to agree with Maria. I do miss your picture postings. I know my son has a tracking apt on his family phones for safety reasons and locating a forgotten phone. Judy, over the years of following your posts it amazes me you're still married. Unlike your wife, my wife has not said "boo" about my desires to wear women's clothing. If your wife has been tracking your phone she probably knew you were at too many thrifts stores. Me? I'd leave my smart phone home and get a simple burner flip phone for emergency use. My wife and I have a $5 per month plan that gives us 20 minutes of air time which is adequate for emergency calls.

[Samantha51]

I'm still new to CD and to this site so I haven't seen the photos everyone is talking about and I'm new to the journey and very much groping my way forward in the dark.

I did scan a few of your posts. I find the idea of phone tracking unacceptable. I suppose there are legitimate uses, but if your wife doesn't trust you then it's unacceptable IMO and that needs to be addressed.

[docrobbysherry]

U need a lot more help than we can provide, Judy. Your wife sounds over bearing and u r allowing her to treat u like her child or property!:sad:

She sounds a bit like my ex wife? Operative word here is, "ex"!:thumbsup:

[NancySue]

Yes, I?ve seen, enjoyed and commented on your pictures. You can tell, like many of us, you really enjoy dressing and look fantastic. I fear denial of your love and need to dress, will have mental and physical issues. My initial thoughts are very similar to Kris?s. Wife tracks your phone? No way. Why? I hope you can work out some new arrangements and soon. Good luck.

[Susan_Michaela]

It?s a scary thing having a spouse who doesn?t trust you. I agree with everyone else it?s not right. Another question is what kind of secret?s is she keeping from you about herself. You definitely need counseling help and so does she. I was in a similar situation with my last wife that ended up with divorce and crossdressing was her excuse but had nothing to do with dressing period. In her eyes it was my fault . Good luck in your endeavors.

[MonikaCD]

Regarding phone tracking. I don't know about iPhones, but on Android phone tracking often works very good and refreshes phone position every couple of minutes, but sometimes it doesn't work for hours. Phone can be charged, in some open area with no issues getting GPS signal, and still it will not update your location.
If you turn off location sharing, your wife will get message that you just did that. But if you turn off GPS in your phone for that time you want to have some privacy, location will show your position from - say - one hour ago - exactly like it stops working by itself. When you want to be back online, you just turn GPS on and nothing looks suspicious.

[Bruce64]

This is the opposite for me, yesterday I gor nail polish and ane today I planned on doing my nails.

[alwayshave]

Judy, I am so sorry you don't get to dress.

[char GG]

Anyone who has been here a long time know that you love and respect your wife. You told her about your CDing and it didn't go well. So, I'm sorry that your lost your girl cave but obviously the pluses outweigh the minuses in your life. Hopefully someday your CDing situation may change. In the meantime, have a happy life.

[Dutchess]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^That
What Char said and Di also ..

Not to mention the fact that most everyone here giving you this rando advice would totally flip and cry like babies if they lost their wife over an article of clothing . I mean really .. alot of armchair QBing going on in this thread .

Phone trackers are common and yes Judy's talk didn't go well and his wife may feel mistrustful still. I have no idea and neither do any of you .. sometimes trust is really damaged over this and never returns and no its not our fault and if its because of this , we also don't need any "help" jeez .. at least not in such condescending tones .

[Karren H]

Yes I can relate! Should have never retired!

[Aka_Donna]

Turning off an android phone is different than powering off. "off phone" still turns back on when push button, ergo, it must have power. You really can't power off a phone, without not charging the battery and waiting a long long time, perhaps more than a year.

Tracking from govt agencies is difficult, from normal people it's easy. Turn "off", put phone in faraday sleeve or better yet army ammo box. Before do that, turn location off and uninstall tracking apps. Google will still track you.

Safer bet, don't carry phone with you, use a burner phone and connect via wifi only and use no more than 3 times.
Safest, just don't do it. You can live without a cell phone.

Still have relationship issues. We probably have trouble understanding, so how could we help you?

[Debbie Denier]

Hi Judy. I miss your dressing posts too. Could you not leave your phone at home accidentally on purpose. Then you could visit a dressing service without being tracked.

[Jane G]

Yes I can relate! Should have never retired!

Loving being retired, I"m more concerned that when my wife retires my dressing will be less tolerated.

Even on board ship I used to have my personal space. A relationship more restrictive and less tolerant than the RN of the 1980s I fine hard to relate to. I hope you can find the time and space to be you again soon Judy.

[Tiffany8]

I hear you load and clear Judy.
I am still trying to find a way to start my collection again after purging it all about 12 years ago.
My wife and I are not in a healthy relationship and I cant say for sure but I'm pretty sure she is tracking me as well.

Oh how I dream of running away and living alone. Well sort of alone. Just me and Tiffany :battingeyelashes: and about 10 acres of land on the east coast.

[Michaela Jane]

Judy, f your part of the USA is anywhere near my part of the USA, give me a shout. I am on my own and can dress almost every day. I'll get the coffee pot ready. :o

[JulieC]

There are many people (some noting so in this thread) that use tracking apps for family purposes. My wife and I have the app on our phones, and so do all of our kids. Now that they're all adults now, we don't require them to have tracking turned on. We did when they were still in high school, as it was a safety thing. My wife can and does know where I go. But, it's not something she really cares that much about. She cares that I'm where I say I'm going to be at the time I say I'm going to be there. I always make sure I do. We have a relationship with 100000% trust. I'm very fortunate in that, but it's also been a long journey of constantly working on it. That's not because we didn't have trust, but because we have worked on it so long. It's part of what makes us...us. That's not to say that would work in every relationship, nor is this a comment on Judy's relationship.

We can't know all the particulars of Judy's relationship with her spouse. We can't know all the particulars of her spouse. Let's all remember that. The situation as described sounds oppressive. I know I could not exist in that environment. But, every person is different, and every person has justifications for being in the relationship they are in.

Jane, I don't know where the heck you found personal space onboard ship! The main ship I served on (USN) was 8,000 tons and over 150m long. Outside of two void spaces (that everyone, especially snipes knew about), there were no 'private' spaces onboard that one could have ever gotten away with crossdressing. Privacy, even in the head, was not a thing onboard. Even if there were some notional private space, I still wouldn't have ever attempted it. I know a few too many times and heard tales of too many times that sailors got outed for being gay, and the consequences they suffered. I never wanted to risk that. They would have never believed I wasn't gay and it wouldn't have mattered if they did believe me. I still would have suffered severe consequences. It was never, EVER worth the risk.

[Jane G]

Julie. The last ship I served on was an aircraft carrier. Doing a full set of WE rounds took over an hour. Seemed like there were more compartments than crew once the Marines and air crew disembarked. I still never dressed on board though. As you say it would have been a great risk and a tad irresponsible in such a culture as it was then. I did have clothing onboard though. Our personal lockers were just that. I also had my push bike and a set of training rollers onboard.

[Christie ann]

I feel your pain. It’s of little help, but at least you had that time, it makes it hard because you know what you are missing instead of never knowing, but I will take knowing what it was like over never experiencing it anymore. It’s a hard sentence to understand…but you get my drift.
Good luck, something will happen and you will be back with new beautiful pictures

[Leah87]

How terrible. I'm glad to say that i can't relate to having my phone tracked by my wife. I can understand why you're not happy.

I can relate to having a Girl Cave for a while. i rented a lock up near to my home while we were having some major building work carried out at the house. However, I still manged to dress by booking a hotel room for day use from time to time. The work lasted about 9 months so I ended up spending quite a bit of money on the rooms. Money well spent, though.

I sincerely hope that things improve for you.