Being put down?

[Judy-Somthing]

Well I didn't tell the wife I cross-dressed before getting married.
I did try over the years getting to the point of telling her by starting conversations hinting towards CD-ing which never went well.
Well about 5 years ago I felt we were getting along so well that I thought I could tell her about the whole me, Big mistake!
So now over the last 5 years when she sees CD-ers on TV she makes nasty comments to me about CD-ers.

Kind of cool, I'm into electronics and today I came across this YouTuber this morning which made me feel pretty good. https://www.youtube.com/@glasslinger

Have fun, Miss Judy

[Natalie5004]

I always have fun miss Judy. I wish you could too sometimes.

[Traci H]

Judy, I have not seen this YouTuber before. So he mostly stays off camera, but you can see her nails are colored and she is wearing various tops or robes visible in some shots. Cool.

I have lots of respect for people that can work with tubes and the repair of such. You are talking much higher voltages than most solid state devices. I only wish I had those skills. Heck, I?m trying to figure out SS stuff these days and pretty much limited to cleaning controls and replacing caps!

Have fun too!

[docrobbysherry]

I'm so sorry, Judy!:sad:

[DanielleDubois]

I know your situation is a difficult one but in a marriage I think there are times you need to tell your spouse when she is doing or saying something that is hurtful. Not crossdressing related but I have had to discuss with my wife about something she has said which I found hurtful. She has had to do the same with me on occasion and the end result has been a discussion where we both of come out of feeling better and more aware of each others feelings.

[Chelsea B]

Glasslinger is awesome and wears vintage frilly dresses. Another Electronics gurl here

[Heather76]

I would have to agree with Danielle about discussing hurtful comments even when not intended to hurt. I can only think of 2 such instances in our 40 years. I no longer recall what my wife said that hurt me; but, I did tell her. In our retirement, her pension is the least of our 4 sources of retirement income. When speaking with others, I have referred to it as "her small pension." Not too long ago she said referring to in that way diminishes its importance and makes her feel badly. I had no idea. You can bet I'll never again refer to in that way. I realize these aren't along the lines of the original post speaking of CDers; but, the point is the same. My wife never says anything if something regarding cross dressing is mentioned on TV or during conversations with friends. However, if we run across RuPaul's Drag Race on TV, I will comment that I'm really not a fan of what drag queens represent. My take on it is what they do causes anyone outside the LGBTQ+ community to think all of us (meaning simple cross dressers trying to blend) are trying to force our feminine selves on everyone else. I just want to blend and have nobody notice me whatsoever.

Judy, as an aside, does your wife hate seeing the Corp. Klinger character on M.A.S.H. re-runs or watching Mrs. Doubtfire, etc.?

[Aka_Donna]

Try staying away from shows that may show those issue and also try redefining.

Yep, I hate it when draq queens make a bad image. It's like dropping your pants in public or women sticking out their boobs for the world to see. That gaudy display is not crossdressing. Crossdressing is just wearing softer clothing and trying to blend in like a normal person does to keep the peace with others.

[Debs]

well what do I say ?, i told my now wife about 3 dates into us, she thought it was amazing !!, then we got married, she then hated what I do to the fact of almost divorce, but I said ok divorce it is, but im still what I am, cant change me, then it became ok again , Phew !!! many years put in a few sentences , I thank you

[Jillcder]

Cool videos, I really like the pink gift radio Ron has nice nails I will definitely watch more. Judy, this is my fear when I have the talk with my wife someday hopefully she reacts in a more positive manner. I really enjoy your pictures and stories.

[gina shiney]

Ohhh Judy feel for you now as did when you posted that terrible period back then..
Honestly hoped it would of improved for you by now.
Was always impressed by your looks and resourcefulness as well as being jealous of your picks from goodwill.
(Been absent on here for a while)

[Stephanie47]

My wife is not appreciative of my desires to wear women's clothing, but she has not ever thrown snide comments at me or the LGBTQ+ community. She has not said"boo" about my desires since "The Talk" we had in the early 1980's. Personally, if she did make snide comments, we'd be divorced.

[Alisonforme]

Hi Judy. I'm sorry you've not been able to dress. You have amazing style (and wigs, and shoes!) and I always enjoy seeing your photos. I'm in a similar, though not exact, situation where my wife knows I dress, but does not like the idea of a feminine me. She always equates being on the trans spectrum with the villain in Silence of the Lambs! That's a pretty tough stereo-type for me to try to overcome, but she has warmed up to me having toenail polish on and she knows that I wear panties and thongs instead of male underwear. I don't get to dress often, but she knows what I'll be up to on the occasions when she stays overnight with our daughter in another state.

Hopefully you can work out a scenario that allows you to get the Judy-time that you need.
Peace

[Desiree2bababe]

Funny, this just came up in my marriage Friday night as she cut me down as I turned on RuPaul's Drag Race, saying I was watching my favorite show. Even though she immediately sat down to watch the boys turn themselves into girls with their lavish makeup. Her snide comment allowed me the avenue I'd been looking for to let her have an inkling the "pink fog" had once again fallen upon Desiree's world. I told her I missed sitting at her makeup table getting all dolled up. She immediately told me not to start up with that crap, reminding me that she still had not forgotten the last episode where she had finally given in to my desire for female domination. She went on to tease that she knows I would like to add a real man to the equation of my submissiveness, as she pretended to dangle something male like between her thighs. She again brought up the correspondence she'd found some 35 years prior from a fellow queen advertising in Female Mimics International magazine ( boy did I just date myself there ) Anyway, long story short I took pity on her frailty after she brought up every sordid detail of my transvestism that had come to light in our 40 something years of knowing one another and left her to watch the show by herself. The door was open and when my show girl wig arrives Tuesday, she may come home to an old girlfriend and I will welcome the verbal abuse for I have come to the realization that humiliation is all part of the thrill for me. P.S. I did tell her before marriage and she was okay with it prior to the I dos but quickly became "snotty" once she realized how far I took it with clothes, jewelry and my desire for male attention.

[Bea_]

My wife put herself in a situation decades ago where she now knows to tread lightly. She doesn't say anything too direct, but she does pull away any time i attempt any intimacy while in my natural mode even if I'm only after a hug. She is somewhat affectionate, but not intimate. I've become used to it and go about my business. I'm not into drag so that's never been an issue for us. She does have an aversion to television portrayals of crossdressers, but mostly just goes quiet.

[abby054]

Sorry to hear this, Miss Judy. I live in the same neighborhood. I too believed the dangerous nonsense that a CD should share this secret with his spouse. Big mistake indeed. Now, every time the subject appears on any medium, she makes several mean comments. At her every opportunity, CDers and trans people get noticed and criticized, but the real target is obvious. She has seen no evidence for more than a decade but that makes no difference. She has advanced to the point that she creates opportunities and makes preemptive strikes if none has been forthcoming in the past day or two. Why tolerate it? She has a long term disabling illness. I may be a bad person but not so bad that I would leave a sick, disabled wife to her own devices.

I too like to repair and operate old electronics. They are such fun. I do not work on them en femme. A soldering iron can make a mess of a wig. But I do groove on getting an antique set to work. When a student recently wanted to include vacuum tube electronics in his Masters thesis, I found that I am now the only professor at my university who understood what he is doing and could give competent advice.

[Joanne108]

My wife tolerates my dressing up as a woman. When there is a crossdresser on TV say will inevitably say, You look better than he does! She doesn?t mock me or those on TV. Maybe some day your wife will find acceptance.

[Jimbo]

Hi Judy, my wife doesn?t put me down, but as we?re in the early stages of my cross dressing she has said some hurtful things like you?re not the man I married and why didn?t you tell me about these feelings in the early days, I didn?t sign up for this etc, etc. I was speaking to her the other night about how she would feel if she came home and happened to catch me with my boots or fur on and she told me to manage my dressing so it didn?t happen, she told me how she would feel if she thought I was getting sexual satisfaction out of it, (we have had that discussion many times and she can?t seem to get the concept that it is non sexual) so I told her that her continually thinking like that and bringing the subject up was totally incorrect and hurtful and I asked her not to make that comment again as she doesn?t live inside my head, I then asked her to trust me and respect what I was saying to her, she later apologised, it drives me nuts that this stereotyping occurs, see if she would be agreeable to maybe joining the partners forum and that may give her a realistic perspective rather than the shaded one that still occurs in this supposedly more tolerant mainstream society that we live in, I will eventually try suggesting the same to my wife

[Kitty Sue]

I did not tell my wife about my CDing after we married. That was a big mistake. I wish I had given her the opportunity to decide whether she wanted that in her life of not. Still, I am also into model trains and here is a woman I really like to follow. https://www.youtube.com/@Pixie586

[mbmeen12]

Two wrongs don't make a right. But I do feel for you and in my opinion is she did embrace your dressing in the relationship sense I'd bet the relationship would become even stronger.